War Torn Love (20 page)

             
When I started nagging it was only because I am worried about his health, he worked and trained so hard.

             
He responded back acting like my concerns were nothing, rather
dismissively
in
duct
. He always said, “God is watching over me, so please do not worry.”

             
Once he has resorted to playing this card, I
decided
it was not worth pursuing any further.

             
Given that - his cornerstone, of the “Jewish life cycle,” and great cause for celebration, takes place in the weeks leading up to the actual wedding, things soon began becoming even busier.  About a week before, I had the two families together for dinner. I cooked all day making dinner for everyone, for the ceremony known as Tena’im (term).  After dinner was put to rest, Abram and I broke a plate, to symbolize “the destruction of the temples in Jerusalem,” - a reminder to my people that even in the midst of celebration, we still feel sadness for our losses.

             
It was amazing just how fast the time had passed on us.  I remembered it being so busy – though, looking back, it is as bright, clear and fun as it was as it was as it was going on. It’s odd, I’m old, and I have Alzheimer’s and yet…those days stand out to me like precious jewels, strung
along a necklace of the best times of my life. Stored away carefully in the jewelry box of my mind.

             
Just over a week before the wedding, Abram and I spent the whole day together the eighth day before our marriage. It was a bittersweet day. See it is tradition with our people, that the bride and groom must not see one another again, until the big day. I realized that this would be the longest either of us had even gone without actually seeing one another, since the very first day we met back when we were eight years old – and it made me cry to think about the extended amount of time being
-
separated from my love. He surely put a brave front on for me. So I guess I got it in my head - I was being insecure that he was not going to miss me. And that pained me.

             
On a way home from our date, we stopped for some ice cream. Arriving home, we ended the evening by stopping at my front
porch;
Abram boldly lent into kiss me. Oh his lips were so soft, I thought, I shall have to make that memory of that kiss last me, I shall write about that kiss in my journal.

             
“Hana I just wanted you to know just how much I love you, I have absolutely no regrets going into this marriage imagine in just a week’s time from now, we will finally become one. It is all I can think about. It will be so nice when I don’t have to say goodbye to you each evening - rather I can wrap my arms around you each night.”

             
“Abram my darling, you so good to me, I just wanted you to know I truly have loved you since the very first moment I saw you all those years ago. Looking down
on you, it’s a moment in
time forever
etched in my mind. This week as I get prepared to marry you, I shall always be thinking of you in
your
absence. I had better not keep you any longer. Besides, please I don’t want you seeing me cry, not this time. Go my love I’ll be ok.”

             
We both kissed once more – longingly, lingeringly before parting - he was still standing there on my porch as I shut the screen door behind me. I could not bear turning around and looking back at him. I headed straight up to my room to cry, though I secretly watched on from my window as he headed on back home. I knew I should not be sad, but I was. That memory is crystalline. The ache of those weeks as sharo as cut gems. I knew what was next for both of us - Abram as the stunningly handsome groom today had to arrange for the (Ufruf).  This is a special ceremony. He will be go to our synagogue there he was to announce the impending wedding, to the entire congregation. Now what the members would do to him is shower him with sweets, mainly coming from the very of the youngest children. Then, after the service has come to a conclusion, refreshments would be served in the synagogue (known as a Kiddush) will follow it. His mother as well as, mine had to make platters of food, and drink, and wine that will be served to the whole congregants.

             
As the nervous, excited bride, I had my own ceremony to prepare and perform - the (Mikveh). The Mikveh is a ritual bath, preformed a week before the wedding - the idea of this bath was so that I could cleanse myself spiritually, and then I
could enter
into marriage in a state of complete purity. To take this bath, I have to remove
my jewelry and fully
immerse
myself into the water. Then I will begin reciting a special prayer.  Momma and Sissy, agreed to supervise, and assisted me during the ritual – they ensured I did everything correctly, according to custom.

             
For our big day, Abram and I wanted to have our wedding at our new farm. We could not think of a better place to celebrate, and start our life together. We would be holding the wedding the Jewish traditional way with the use of (the Chupa) which is getting married underneath a special canopy.

             
Abram and I began our traditional fast, a day before the actual wedding, with a symbolic cleansing ourselves of sins coming to the marriage with a clean slate. Neither of us were to eat nor drink a day before the wedding.

             
Our wedding was being held at three in the afternoon. I found I could not sleep the night before. I ended up passing the time, by endlessly pacing back and forth in my room the night before Poppa told me to go to sleep - on three separate occasions. It was weird and wonderful - something I had most wanted to come to pass for years was going to come true and suddenly I was extremely nervous - more nervous then I had been in my entire life.  And then it dawned on me – it was my eighteenth birthday! At one minute
past
midnight on my wedding day, I turned eighteen. That memory – the stars and the moon above, all passing in the dance celebrating my day.

             
I decided to help pass the time by reading though all my numerous journal entries I had made over all those
years. One journal for each year. I tried to keep up a journal since I turned seven years old. As I sat in my rocking chair, I read though all the entries that pertained to dearest Abram the whole journey to the realization - he is my life.  It was a sort of a rediscovery of sorts; of all the magnificent reasons why it was I desired to wed him in the first-place. It was funny to be reading through all those entries, just how much the two of us had changed through the years. In between books, I prayed for a beautiful day. An auspicious one – a blessing on our union from God. 

             
My prayers were answered. It turned out to be a very beautiful day to hold a wedding on - not a cloud present in the sky, a gentle breeze ensuring it wasn’t going to get to hot on this day at the latter part of
June
.  I couldn’t think of a better birthday present than to get married to my beloved - as gifts go it would be pretty hard to top. At least Abram will have it easy thanks to me; he could cover my birthday, and anniversary in one gift. Momma said, “Men have a hard time remembering this sort of thing, Abram is no exception.”

             
There was a good turnout for the ceremony that day - it seemed all our friends and family had showed up. The Rabbi began the ceremony with the signing of the (Ketubah), which simply put, is the Jewish version of a marriage contract.  It sets out the legal terms of the marriage. The origins of the “Ketubah” go back to the days of the “Sanhedrin”- the Jewish Supreme Court in Jerusalem - a few thousand years ago. It was set up to protect the bride by the terms of her dowry.

             
Our Rabbi begun by picking out four witnesses he had several men come forward, and sign the “Ketubah.”  In signing this contract, the men signing it are all saying that they would not contest a “Get” (Jewish divorce) in the event the couple was God forbid separated.

             
So far, I had yet to enter the (Chupa). I was to be the last to cross the threshold and enter. My father proudly escorted me in, our arms interlocked. I did not say anything when I noticed out of the corner of my eyes - but I could tell Poppa was trying his best to hold back the tears. I did not want to make him feel bad. I should talk because I was too trying to hold back my tears.

             
Once more, I was standing side–by-side, next to my soon to be husband. Oh, he looked so good-looking. He had borrowed a black suit, white shirt, blue tie - the tie that he wore especially for me, knowing that blue is my favorite color. It came from the family’s store. This was his first time in his life to wear a – suit even though his father sold men’s suits - they just like us and poor. His father gave to him his grandfather’s yarmulke, which he so proudly wore.

             
Once this ceremony was concluded, both Abram and I now standing side by side the ceremony known as (Bedecken) (veiling).

             
The Rabbi spoke, “I would first like to for us all to say happy 18
^th
birthday to our lovely bride. I would say she is getting quite a special birthday gift this year - ok shall we get started?”

             
Everyone started clapping for me I smiled at the Rabbi. The Rabbi signaled for us all be still.

             
  Abram looked over at the Rabbi, and then he was given the signal he had been waiting for on pins and needles he was a Champion boxer, yet he was white as a ghost. Abram proceeded then to place a veil over my face. This ceremony symbolizes the groom’s intent to clothe, and protect his new wife and dates back to biblical times, when Rebekan covered her face before she married Abraham’s son Isaac.

             
I first began the ceremony by circling around Abram several times. Then our Rabbi handed Abram a cup of wine - Abram and I began drinking, the first of seven cups. This is symbolic
of God
– he created the world in seven days, and in doing so, we were figuratively building the walls of our new home.

             
Though I’d vowed to abstain from alcohol, this was such small amounts - besides that was the furthest thing on my mind at the moment. Actually, I could have used a shot of vodka to calm my nerves.

             
With my knee’s shaking profusely under my dress and my stomach all tied up in knots, thanks to my nerves, I was a wreck. I heard it gurgle as I silently stood there. I was a bit embarrassed by the sounds that were being produced. Nevertheless, there was nothing I could do but get through all this.

             
The service portion of our wedding so formally began as the Rabbi began reciting several prayers, binding
the two of us together. We both stood there stoically as we listened. Then with the Rabbi’s blessing - the most important part of the ceremony was the giving of the rings. With the Jewish religion, there is certain thing, which must be followed precisely concerning the
makeup
of the actual wedding ring. The ring must belong solely to the groom, not borrowed - and it must be a complete circle without a break in the ring, to emphasize the hopes for a harmonious marriage.  Thankfully he does, Abram’s mother gave her grandmothers ring to him. His best man was holding onto the ring until it was time to hand it over to the groom.