Warrior's Dawn (Fire and Tears) (26 page)

Her grunt sounded annoyed, and for the first time since crossing the street to her, he smiled.

“Was it worth it?” she asked without loosening her hold or looking up. “The List was there? It will help?”

“I’m sure it already is.” He pulled back enough to lift her chin so she had to face him. “Would you like to know what it was for now? Why we did what we did?”

She tilted her head and nodded. “I guess it’s safe for me to know now, right?”

“You’ll be one of exactly twenty-three people, both human and elf, who know the truth.”

He watched her eyes brighten with curiosity, and some of his concerns banked. He still wanted to know why she looked so worn, but that could wait a little bit longer. Holding her to his side—he couldn’t seem to let go now that he had his hands on her—he walked her to the couch and they sat.

“My cousin, the one responsible for the shrapnel arrows? She’s, inadvertently as it turns out, created a new kind of arrow. One that doesn’t even have to be aimed. Once it’s drawn, an archer just has to whisper the name of its target and that arrow will fly strait to its target’s heart. Even with obstacles in the way.”

“It flies through the obstacles?”

“Around them. It’s a very directed missile.”

She pulled back so she could stare up at him. “That’s…that’s rather terrifying. Is there any way to avoid it?”

He shook his head. “Not that she’s told anyone yet. If there is at all. That’s why so very few people know about it. My cousin, the king and queen of course, one of their bodyguards, your council, Ulric and Layla, three human and three elf assassins. And now you.”

“You learned from the council? You said you’d talked it out of them when they were asking about the Sorcerers’ real names?”

“And the powers that be are in agreement the information about the arrows is too potentially dangerous to make known to the general public of either city. But I trust your discretion.”

Her lips lifted in a brief smile before dropping back to a slight frown. “So the List… With that, the arrows can kill the Sorcerers? The Sorcerers’ protections won’t prevent the arrows getting through?”

“That was tested last night. Two of the Sorcerers were killed by the assassins, using the arrows from a safe distance. Human spotters in different locations confirmed the kills—they didn’t know how the arrows worked or what was different about them. They just confirmed the Sorcerers were shot through the heart and the resultant implosion turned them into little more than bloody chunks.”

She cringed at his description but a blink later her expression opened. “It worked. What we did… They can kill them now. All of them!”

He grinned at her growing enthusiasm. Her wide-eyed satisfaction wiped some of the exhaustion from her face. “It won’t be long now. The war will be done. Maybe a matter of weeks.”

She blinked. “I can hardly believe it. After all this time… It’s hard to comprehend the end being so close.”

Studying her, he asked, “What do you want to do once the war ends? Will you go back to making chocolates? Do you want to reclaim your home?”

He hoped her answers would help him decide his own next move—whether to let her go or to find out if she returned his feelings. Even if she did, though, he still wasn’t sure if he could risk her sanity. Holding her, he already felt the first tingles of the elf-fire, a low burn through his system. He was already playing a dangerous game just seeing her again. If she didn’t love him…

He couldn’t think about that yet. First, he needed to find out what
she
wanted for her future.

She lifted her shoulders in a little shrug. “I haven’t been able to think about the future in so long, I’m not sure what I want. I
should
reclaim the family home and shops, but…” She twisted her mouth into a half frown. “But there are so many memories there now. I’m not sure I can face it, knowing my parents, my brother won’t be coming back.”

“Any other family to take up the mantle?”

“Oh there were a lot of us at one stage. But all the ones interested in running the bakery and chocolatier have died in the war. There are some cousins still alive, no one I’m close to. But maybe they’d be interested in having the old place.”

“If you had a new location? A new shop, would you want to continue the business?”

“A new shop might help, actually. Start over fresh. But this city is going to need a lot of rebuilding once the Sorcerers are finally pushed out. I think it’ll be a long time before I can indulge in my own dreams.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to argue her point but he stopped himself. Though the goblin wars hadn’t been fought on Glengowyn lands, there had still been a lot of rebuilding of their society following each conflict. She was right, the Sinnale would need time before their lives started to feel normal again.

“Glengowyn will likely help with the rebuilding. It’ll make for good trade. Ulric will love that.”

“Ulric? Why?”

“He loves bartering and trading—a side effect of his strategic genius.” He couldn’t seem to help the edge of sarcasm when saying the word “genius”. Some habits were hard to set aside.

She smiled at his tone. “Help from the elves would be good. Probably heal some of the tension still between our people.”

“Speaking of… I no longer appear to be a pariah, at least within the meeting hall.”

To his surprise and delight, color rose in her cheeks.

“I might have…mentioned how you nearly died helping us,” she said. “No details, of course. Just a few rumors to help right the accounting.”

“Mina. You didn’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I did. You won’t tell anyone the truth about why you aligned with the traitors. At the very least, people need to know you contributed—nearly with your life—to end our war.”

“My reputation doesn’t matter to me.” And it didn’t anymore. For the first time in his life, acclaim and acknowledgment seemed hollow things compared to what he might lose now if Mina didn’t return his feelings.

She pursed her lips and looked down at her hands in her lap. “It matters to me.”

Lifting her chin, he made her meet his gaze again. “Why? Why does it matter to you?”

“You’re a good man, Althir. I won’t tolerate people saying otherwise.”

Her defensiveness made him smile slightly. But that wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. “You thought I was an intolerable ass when we first met.”

“You were,” she shot back. “And very rude.”

He laughed. “You threatened to kill me.”

“And you decided talking about my breasts was fair game.”

“Well…” He glanced down, unable to resist. “They are very hard to ignore.”

She thumped his thigh, none too gently. He noticed, though, because he was still staring at that part of her body, that her chest rose and fell faster as her breathing sped. It took a great deal of willpower not to reach out and cup one of her impressive breasts. But that wouldn’t solve the issue at hand. One he wasn’t sure how to raise.

“What about you?” she murmured.

He dragged his gaze back up. “Me?”

“What will you do now? Return to Glengowyn? I spoke with Layla. She said you were allowed. And the king and queen lifted the traitor label.”

“When I was in my cage, I did miss the forest. I definitely wanted out of this city.”

“So you’ll move back.” Her gaze danced away as she spoke.

“Not right away.”

His answer must have startled her because she looked directly at him. “Why not? This place isn’t exactly a comfortable city anymore.”

“I’m still deciding if I’ll stay here or in Glengowyn. Or…”

“Or?” she prompted when he trailed off.

He hadn’t allowed himself to think through the “or” fully, but at the back of his mind, he had been considering that if Mina didn’t return his feelings, staying even as close as Glengowyn might prove too much of a temptation for him. To ensure he left her alone, he would have to go somewhere much farther away.

“I’ve considered…traveling,” he said. “It will be some time before the other elves can look at me as anything but a traitor. I might be allowed back to Glengowyn, but I won’t be welcomed. And here…” Mina was in Sinnale. Leaving would hurt wildly. But if it meant she was safe from any repercussions, he’d go.

“Traveling where?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really planned anything out yet. Still have some recovering to do.” That last was an excuse. He was a bit weak, but he could travel without risking his health.

He heard her swallow hard and the sound started his heart beating a little faster. Did his leaving make her sad? Would she miss him? Did she want him to stay?

“I’d be sorry to see you leave,” she admitted.

“You’d be the only one I’d truly miss.”

“Not even Ulric?” She raised her brows, trying to joke, but there wasn’t any real humor in her eyes.

He cupped her cheeks in both hands and held her face. “Mina. I’d stay for you. But…”

“But the elf-fire,” she said with a nod. “The addiction. You can’t be with me anymore. I know.”

“There
is
a way.” He took a breath and prepared to jump out over the abyss.

Chapter Twenty-One

“Ulric and Layla…” Althir started, watching Mina’s expression closely. “The reason they can be together is because…because they’re in love. Not just a passing love. A true love.”

She frowned. “What’s the difference?”

“A passing love… It eventually goes away. If an elf and human have maintained a relationship until that point, the separation is extremely dangerous to the human. To their sanity, their health… The effects of the elf-fire addiction do a lot of damage after long-term exposure.”

Her eyes widened. “How does a ‘true love’ change things?”

“That’s the kind of love that can last through the years, the kind that strengthens over time, bringing a couple closer. There’s no real risk because they won’t separate.”

“Until the human dies.”

He rubbed his thumbs along her cheeks. “That’s another…side effect. The human’s life is extended to match their mate’s lifespan. Another reason the pairings, when ended, can have such dire consequences. If the human has lived long enough, most of the other humans they loved have died. There’s nothing left for them once the relationship with their elf lover ends.”

“Is this why the pairings are so rare? Not because of the addiction but because of the possible outcome of a relationship?”

He moved his hands from her face to her shoulders, then down her arms in a long caress. He couldn’t stop touching her even though the elf-fire was threatening to overwhelm him and throw him off track. He forced his desires down, knowing this conversation was too important to get wrong.

“Most elves aren’t willing to take the risk,” he confirmed. “It…it’s not pretty, the separation, when it happens.”

“Does Layla know?”

“Ulric told her.”

“And they’re willing to risk it?”

“As I said, they have a love they think can survive.”

Mina lifted her chin in a slight nod and focused on the back of the couch, her eyes narrowed in thought.

Althir tried to keep his hands from trembling, but maintaining his composure was getting harder by the minute. He wanted her desperately. But he wanted her to tell him she loved him more than he’d ever wanted anything. That need kept him still and quiet while she considered what he’d just told her.

“Not many people know about this, do they?” she murmured.

“No. We don’t tell others often. It’s considered…elf business. But even inside Glengowyn it’s not spoken of much. Outside of romantic ballads.”

“Yet you’re telling me.”

He stopped running his palms over her arms and dropped them to her lap, taking her hands in his.

“Why?” She faced him fully, her gaze assessing.

He didn’t flinch away, allowing her to see every emotion he was feeling.

“Why?” she repeated.

“I love you. And the thought of losing you kills me. But…what we have can’t just be sex, or you’ll be in danger. If you don’t… I can’t stay here with you so close and not come to you. Not now. I won’t be able to resist you, Mina. But if you ask it of me, I’ll leave Sinnale and Glengowyn. To keep you safe.”

“You think leaving will keep me safe?”

Her tone was flat and even, impossible for him to read. Her expression was as closed as his was open. She hadn’t reacted at all to his admission of love either. The faint hope he’d been harboring shriveled, and he straightened away from her.

“Yes. You’ll be safe from any dangers brought on by the elf-fire once I leave.”

“And if I get involved with another elf?”

The very idea tore open his chest with a pain he could barely fathom. He only realized he was growling and his fists were clenched when he noticed the wary look on her face. He forced himself to relax.

“You’ll have a similar issue. If he loves you. If he doesn’t, you’ll have the kind of affair most humans have with elves—temporary.”

“My…exposure to you won’t make things worse?”