Watched (3 page)

“It shouldn’t have come back a second time!” Mrs. Louangrath’s eyes were tearful. “We spent everything we had to fight this leukemia the first time, and now we have to do it again? Did they even get it all at first?”

Kailea’s father caught his wife’s hands in his, then rested his forehead against hers. “Chanmali, you know they did,” he chided, his voice soft but choked with tears. “We all saw the scans, and we even checked with another doctor. They warned us this might happen.”

Before he could say more, Kailea’s mother turned and snatched her purse from the chair. “I need a coffee,” she said. “Do you want anything?”

He shook his head. His wife hurried down the white corridor and punched the call button for the elevator. When she stepped out of sight, he sighed and used his fingers to smooth the hair at his temples.

“I’m sorry,” he said, then flopped into a chair and motioned for Alexandra to sit. “It’s just been a long few months. She will calm down soon.” He looked down the hall where his wife had gone, seeming lost.

Alexandra laid her clipboard on her lap and propped up her elbows. “This is a stressful time, it’s understandable.”

Mr. Louangrath played with the wrinkles in his brown slacks. He looked exhausted. “When we knew Kailea’s cancer was in remission, we planned to get back to our normal lives. Kailea wanted to go back to school, and started ice skating again. We were even planning a trip to Laos, to teach Kailea about her grandparents heritage.” His face was impassive despite his words. “Now, not even Chanmali can make her happy. My wife was always Kailea’s strength through the treatments, but it seems like Kailea’s giving up. She worries we won’t be able to afford the treatment, she never wants to eat, and she’s sick all the time. It’s hard on Chanmali, seeing a problem she can’t fix.”

Alexandra nodded, lacing her fingers together. “It’s possible,” she began cautiously, “I can help you. Chemotherapy medication can cause depression, and that could be what’s happening here. We can adjust her medication to correct it, and if that’s not possible I can prescribe anti-depressants. Would you like me to look into that?”

The dull hopefulness in the man’s face brought the lump back to her throat. “Please, anything you can do.” He rose out of his seat as Alexandra stood. “Thank you, we would be most grateful.”

Alexandra rubbed the back of her neck to smooth out the tension. Kailea was safely through the surgery, and resting in her room. Alexandra had just visited, to check on the girl and tell her parents about the change of medications.

Mrs. Louangrath hadn’t looked at Alexandra, despite her husband’s attempts. Alexandra didn’t mind. It was a natural part of the process, especially when cancer returned.

There was nothing more she could do for the Louangrath family tonight. She moved to the next door, lifting the clipboard and skimming over the scribbled notes. It looked familiar. A little too familiar.

“You’ve already gone to see them three times, honey.”

Alexandra turned to see Raul behind her, his arms crossed and one hip jutted out so far it would make a nice shelf. Most people stood like that when they were upset. Raul did it because it was Tuesday. The nurse assistant’s dark brows were raised high as he looked her over, a doubtful expression on his dusky-complexioned face.

She was sure she looked worse for wear. Their wing was understaffed until Dr. Muller got back from paternity leave, and she’d been covering his shifts as well as her own. He’d promised he’d only be two more days.

“Visited them three times, are you sure?” She let the clipboard fall back into the receptacle on the wall. “I was just noticing it looked a little familiar. Maybe it’s time for some coffee.”

Raul smirked, his head jerking back in a silent laugh. “I’ll go get one, you’ve got a phone call in the break room.”

“Simon?”

When he nodded and flapped his hands to shoo her away, she didn’t need any more encouragement. She avoided mixing personal life and work, but this was an exception.

“Hey, mom.” Simon’s voice was almost drowned out by crackling on the line.

“Hello, sweetie! How’s it going over there?” She curled into the couch. There was no comfortable position, so she pulled her legs up and concentrated on listening.

“It’s great! I wanted to call you before class and let you know,” he began, and Alexandra looked at her watch in disbelief. If it was almost time for class there, it was almost midnight here. No wonder she needed coffee. “My painting won this competition thingy, and it’s going to be featured in a magazine.”

He had worked on his painting for three weeks during class, and she still hadn’t seen a picture of it. “Competition thingy, huh? I thought it wasn’t done yet?” She looked up as Raul came in with a styrofoam cup of coffee, then mouthed “Thank you,” as he handed it over.

Simon cleared his throat. “I’m not. At least, I thought I wasn’t.” He fell silent.

Alexandra was in the middle of a sip of coffee, so the silence stretched as she swallowed. “Who saved you from the ‘just one more little tweak’ monster?”

“Uh, so there’s kinda this girl,” Simon began, and Alexandra choked. “Mom, are you okay?”

She barely managed to swallow before spasmodic coughs shook her. Simon? The kid who avoided women like they were a strange species? Seeing a girl? “Yes, I’m fine,” she gasped into the phone. “Just a little surprised. Who is she? What’s she like?”

“She’s pretty cool. Rosa. A teacher’s assistant. She wasn’t supposed to see it yet, but she did.” Simon hesitated again, but this time Alexandra didn’t break the silence. “Rosa’s got a tattoo. Uh, on her arm, not like, somewhere weird.”

“Maybe you should send me a picture.”

“Of the tattoo?”

Alexandra laughed. “Oh honey, I miss you. No, of you and Rosa together.”

“I miss you too, mom. I’ll send one if you send a picture of you.”

“Deal.”

“So how is everything at home? How is Hunter?”

Simon asked about Hunter every time he called, just catching up on news. This time the mention of Hunter’s name sent her mind zinging back to the kiss they had shared earlier that evening.

Goosebumps rose on Alexandra’s arms. Just thinking about the hot press of his lips against hers sent a rush of heat through her body. His kiss had been like sparks on her tongue, making her feel weak and powerful all at once. When he’d asked her to spend the night, she’d wanted to say yes. He had barely touched her, and she had come unraveled in his arms.

“Mom?”

Simon’s prompting startled Alexandra out of her reverie, and she shifted on the couch. “Sorry honey, I got a little distracted. Everything is great, Hunter is doing well.”

“That’s good. How is - oops.” A shuffling sound interrupted him. “Mom, got to go. Class time. Love you.”

“Love you too!”

The dial tone droned in her ear.
Did he even wait to hear me say goodbye?
With a shrug, she returned the phone to its receiver and took another sip of coffee.

Later that night, Alexandra shuffled to her car. The caffeine had long ago burned away, despite a second cup. Her purse dangled from one hand, heels from the other. She wore a pair of flats she kept handy just for days like this, but even the relief of removing those damn heels didn’t help tonight.

Her mental calendar ticked off another day before Dr. Muller’s return. While Alexandra was glad he was home with his new wife and baby, the constant ache in her feet insisted she take a day off soon.

She turned sideways to edge between her car and a big yellow truck, then paused with her hand halfway to the door handle. The car’s blue paint was gouged with several thick white stripes. Great.

Alexandra slid into the driver seat and rested her head against the steering wheel. Kids got into mischief sometimes in the hospital parking tower, but usually her little blue car was left alone. She had always thought it was because this car wasn’t as flashy as the others, but maybe her luck had run out today.

She patted the dashboard. “I’ll get you fixed up, I promise.” Her attempt at reassurance left a dark hand print in the thin coat of dust on her dash. Alexandra winced. She brought the car in for maintenance like clockwork, but how long had it been since she cleaned it?

She and Simon had cleaned the car together after they moved from Denver to Portland. It had almost been a ritual for them, cleaning out the last bits of John from their lives. Had that really been the last time? The hand print glared back accusingly until she wiped it away. “All right, I get it. I’ll take care of it,” she muttered, then started the car.

CHAPTER FOUR

Alexandra

Two days later, Alexandra hurried down the narrow hallway of the apartment complex. Dr. Muller had just returned, and she was free. After weeks of double shifts, she intended to dive into a pair of fuzzy slippers and yoga pants until further notice.

The apartment keys jingled as she fussed with them. Why were there so many keys on this ring? She didn’t look at the varnished wood door adjacent to hers. Hunter’s. Her cheeks burned as she remembered their dinner on the balcony. Two days ago. The day they kissed.

“Hello there, Alex!”

Alexandra yelped, the keys dropping to the floor as she spun. Behind her, Mrs. Dail stood with her hand to her chest, ghostly blue eyes wide behind coke-bottle lenses. Her frizzy, blue-tinged white hair gave her the appearance of a startled poodle in a flower dress. If the poor woman hadn’t looked so scared, Alexandra would have laughed.

“Sorry,” she stammered, scooping up her keys. “I’m a little on edge right now, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Mrs. Dail recovered quickly, and raised a pudgy finger. “Now don’t you worry dear, it was I who startled you. I don’t know where my manners are, I know better than to go sneaking around hallways and really it’s not my idea of a good time, not when I could be doing something useful.”

The long-winded woman stopped to take a breath, and Alexandra seized a chance to sneak a word in edgewise. “It’s all right, so did you need something?” She knew better than to interrupt, it always confused the older woman, but today she didn’t care.

“Hm? Need something?” Spectacles shifted as the old woman tried to keep up with her own conversation. “Well yes, I suppose I must have, now let me think, oh yes, I wanted to ask you if you’d been hearing some humming noises of late, maybe more like a whistle but definitely with some humming involved.”

Not again. Alexandra opened her mouth to answer no, she hadn’t heard anything, but the old woman kept talking. “Gail was over, you know my friend from book club, and she said she heard the most dreadfully high pitched whistling hum, and you know I said that same thing about a week after you moved in, when that nice man came over with his work crew to repaint your walls.”

Alexandra tried not to sigh. She had explained to the old woman a hundred times - no crew of men had repainted anything in her apartment. It was all the exact same color it had been before. Hunter handled maintenance and upgrades himself unless he needed expert advice, so there were rarely visits from work crews.

No one else had seen the supposed group of wall repairmen but Mrs. Dail, on the one week Alexandra had spent away since she moved in. She’d taken a trip with Simon to collect the rest of their belongings from their old home. The drive had been grueling, but John had honored his promise to keep his distance for a few days, leaving her and Simon to pack in peace.

When she got back, Mrs. Dail began a campaign against sounds she claimed to hear coming through the walls, night and day. The sweet old lady cajoled, threatened and fumed, but there was nothing more Alexandra could do. She and Hunter had checked every inch of her apartment, searching for a source of humming or whistling which was nowhere to be found. Mrs. Dail’s complaints about phantom noises and odd visitors were famous among the other tenants, some of them thought it was a way of hazing the new folks.

“That hum hasn’t stopped you know, and I’ve been polite and thought maybe it was me, but Gail heard it too this time, and I know you’ve checked for the sound and I’m so grateful you’ve checked everything, but would you be a dear and just take a quick look around one more time,” Mrs. Dail prattled, her impressive lungs once again spitting out a sentence beyond human ability, “I don’t mind taking my hearing aids out for some peace and quiet, but then I can’t hear my phone, and my son just gets so upset when he can’t call me.”

After promises of an apartment sweep to match the pride of any investigative team and a declined offer of milk and cookies, Alexandra slammed the door with more force than she’d intended, then leaned against it.

Alexandra massaged her shoulders. Mrs. Dail would talk to Hunter next anyway, so she had about an hour before he knocked on her door. He would have to look around and reassure Mrs. Dail they had searched for the sound. Alexandra groaned. An hour alone with Hunter while they tried to find a phantom humming noise was exactly what she didn’t need. If she saw him right now she would babble and stare at him. What would it accomplish? They needed to talk, to salvage the friendship she had come to depend on, but she had no idea what to say.

Then again, she could just kiss him again.

She dismissed the idea with a shake of her head. She knew better than to think his affection was anything but friendship gone wrong. He’d turned her happiness into a personal project for years. It had been sweet before, but now it was out of hand. He couldn’t just kiss her and make everything all better. This was ridiculous. He needed to move on with his life, not spend his time worrying about her self-esteem.