Waterfalls (27 page)

He pulled a few papers from his satchel, and they went over them line by line. Meri explained the franchise clause of the contract to the best of her ability and wrote down the phone number for Dan, the legal advisor at the publishing house.

Jake finished his cheesecake. She ate about half of hers and drank most of her Black Forest coffee. It all seemed to have lost its flavor when she rebuked her feelings and toned down her approach with Jake. She felt heavy. Maybe a little sad.

After Jake paid the bill and she properly thanked him, they headed back to the car.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked.

“Yes, fine.”

“It just seems like you became quiet after Clint left.”

Meredith walked beside Jake another half block and then stopped. He stopped, too. They were in front of a beauty supply store, and Jake looked in the window of the closed shop as if Meredith had stopped because of something she saw in the window. Then he turned to look at her face.

She tried to keep a cheerful smile there to greet him. “I started thinking about what you said at my house about relationships being based on logical commitments rather than emotional responses.”

“Yes,” Jake said, looking confused.

Meri looked down and then back up. “I agree with that. I’ve been giving in to my emotional responses far too many times. The flirty things I said to you last night, the way I ripped on Clint. I don’t need to be so controlled by what I feel. I’m ushering in a new era in my personality.” She spread her arms open. “This is the new, improved Meredith Graham. A wiser, less ballistic woman.” She slapped her forehead with her hand. “What am I doing?”

“What are you doing?” Jake asked.

“I’m trying to …”

Jake waited for her to finish.

“You don’t know what it’s like to …”

His eyebrows went up, and he waited.

Inside Meredith a volcano was about to explode. She wanted to tell this man that she was crazy about him, she loved being with him, and she wanted to kiss the little bird’s nest on his jaw and make all kinds of commitments to him. But if that was all a chemical reaction, then, according to Jake’s philosophy, it was invalid.

She was telling herself not to listen to her feelings and to take slow, steady steps of logical relationship progression. Let God work out the details.

Besides, she pointed out to herself, how could a woman of such passion ever be happy with a cold fish head like Jake? But he wasn’t cold. He was really kind, tender, and caring about his drunken movie-star friends.

Maybe it was she. Jake just wasn’t interested in her the way she was in him. She didn’t make his heart zing the way he did hers.

It was exhausting work to keep a volcano from erupting.

Meredith drew in a deep breath. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Don’t listen to me. Let it go.”

“Are you sure? It seems like something is really bothering you.”

She wanted to yell back, “Something
is
bothering me! It’s you! You’re driving me crazy!”

But all she said was, “I’m sure. Forget I said anything.”

They began to walk again. After about six feet, Jake stopped and said, “Meredith, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Yes?”

“It’s pretty important,” Jake said. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about this. I’ve gone back and forth trying to decide if I should say anything.”

“It’s okay. What do you want to ask?”

Jake drew in a deep breath and said, “Let’s go to the car. I think you might want to be sitting down when I ask you.”

They walked briskly toward the parking lot, neither of them speaking.

Meredith suddenly understood why Shelly said she hated Meredith’s cat-and-mouse games. They were fun only for the cat and absolutely no fun for the mouse.

T
hey were in the car and pulling out of the parking lot before Jake sprang his question. “It’s really not a big thing. Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. I just don’t know how you’ll feel about this, and it’s highly unusual that I would ask you.”

“I’m sure it’s okay,” Meri said, her patience wearing thin.

“You have the freedom to tell me I’m crazy,” Jake began.

Do I also have the freedom to tell you you’re driving me crazy?

“When I saw you in the skit last night, I had an idea. Do you remember my saying we still needed to cast the part of the Maiden of the Waterfall? I was wondering if you would consider testing for the part.”

Meredith looked at him with little emotional response. It was possible she had used up all her fiery emotions in trying to deny her feelings for the past half hour.

“What’s involved?”

“You would need to come to the studio tomorrow or the
next day and read the part. We’ll tape you and run it past the casting director. The part isn’t very large, but it’s crucial we get someone right away because we start to film in a week. The scenes with the Maiden of the Waterfall are in the first filming sequence.”

“Sure,” Meredith said with a shrug.

“You’ll do it?” Jake looked at her and back at the road. “That’s great! Of course, I can’t guarantee you’ll get the part since the casting director has final say, but I think you have the right look and the right voice. You proved last night that you can act. I think it might be a good match.”

“What time should I come to the studio?”

“I can have Chad pick you up. Or better yet, how’s your schedule tomorrow after twelve-thirty?”

“Open. I teach my last workshop at eleven.”

“That’s when mine is scheduled, too,” Jake said. “This will work out great. I’ll take you with me after we finish our workshops, and we can get you back to the hotel whenever you need to. The screen test should only take an hour or so.”

“Fine,” Meredith said, still unemotional about the invitation.

She remained unemotional for the next twelve hours. Jake dropped her off at the hotel at almost eleven. She thanked him, and they agreed to meet in the lobby tomorrow as soon as their workshops were over. Meredith returned to her room and read manuscripts until two-thirty in the morning. She made it to her first morning appointment at nine-thirty a little groggy and met with people until her workshop at eleven.

It was easy to pour herself into her topic, “Learning from Your Mistakes,” since she felt she had made countless mistakes with Jake. As she told the students in her workshop, “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Just don’t be a fool and make the same
mistake twice.” She wondered if that applied to relationships as well as publishing.

Could she possibly erase all her crazy rantings of the night before and start fresh with Jake today? She had to believe that was possible; otherwise everything else in her workshop would also be false.

She wouldn’t be a fool and make the same mistake twice. She would calm her emotions when she was around Jake and remind herself over and over that it was merely a business arrangement. They met in the lobby, and Jake hurried her to the car, joking that he didn’t want any of her devoted students to follow her. He chatted all the way to the studio about the part of the Maiden of the Waterfall, saying his explanation of the background would help her prepare for the role.

“Do you remember the daughter of Ramandu in the
Voyage of the Dawn Treader?
” Jake asked. “Her father was a star at rest. Every morning the birds would bring him a fire berry from the Valley in the Sun. He would eat the berry and become younger.”

“I don’t exactly remember that part,” Meredith admitted.

“His daughter ended up marrying Prince Caspian. She welcomed Prince Caspian and his crew on their journey to the Utter East. A great banquet table was spread for them.”

“Yes, I remember. The three Narnian lords had fallen asleep at the table.”

“That’s right. Think of the daughter of Ramandu when you read for this part. The costume will be a long, flowing blue gown with sparkles. Just like a waterfall.”

“Hence the name, Maiden of the Waterfall.”

“Exactly,” Jake said. “I should have told you to wear what you had on last night. That was a perfect look for this screen test.”

Meredith now wore a classic business suit: linen skirt, silk blouse, and matching linen jacket. It was the color of butter and didn’t show off her hair and eyes the way the turquoise outfit had. But the buttery vanilla color matched how she felt while riding to the studio with Jake. Bland. Neutral. Inoffensive to anyone.

At the studio Meredith was shown into a small soundproof room. She was given half an hour to read over the two pages of dialogue and was offered a bottle of spring water. When everything was ready, she stood in front of the video camera and read the part for the cameraman, with Jake standing right beside him. Jake kept smiling, offering nonverbal praise. Meredith had a hard time getting into the part. She stopped the test before they were halfway through.

“I’m sorry. I need another minute here.”

“No problem,” Jake said.

The camera stopped, the red light went off, and someone walked in the door. It was Chad. He had a message for Jake.

“I’ll be right back,” Jake promised. “Go ahead if you’re ready.”

Meredith read the first few lines again and tried to clear her thoughts. She didn’t really feel nervous. She didn’t feel much of anything. Only relieved that Jake was no longer in the room watching her.

“Ready to roll?” the cameraman asked.

She nodded.

“From the top. And action,” he said.

A short man stepped in front of Meredith and held up a board saying, “Meredith Graham, Maiden of the Waterfall, Take Two.” With a brisk slap of the board he stepped away, and the camera moved in closer.

“Hail, young traveler,” Meredith began, feeling freer and more into the part. “From where have you come?”

A reader sitting in a chair to the side read the part of Young Heart. Meredith allowed her facial expressions and body movements to reflect her response to what Young Heart was telling her.

“Then you have chosen well. Enter now into the Vale of Peace. Your journey ahead will hold many more adventures. You must be rested before you can embrace them.”

She made an elegant, welcoming gesture with her arm and open hand. “Come, Young Heart. Drink of the living water until your soul is quenched. Eat of the bounty prepared here for you.”

Young Heart then questioned how he could know if this was yet another trap like the many he had already faced.

“You cannot know,” the Maiden of the Waterfall responded gently. “You may only choose to enter or be on your way. Belief offers no guarantees until after the traveler has entered in wholeheartedly.”

She read for another five minutes, feeling captivated by this character she was portraying. It suddenly mattered very much that she get the part.

“And cut,” the cameraman said after she delivered the last line. He stepped from behind the camera and said, “That was good. The boss will like this one.”

Meredith gathered her things, still feeling her heart in a flutter from having put so much into the reading. She chatted with the woman who was sitting in the chair and had been reading the lines to her.

“Should I wait here?” Meredith asked.

“Might as well. Jake will be back eventually. Have you done a lot of this?”

“What? Acting? No. None.”

“Really?” The woman in the chair seemed impressed. “You have the right look and the right voice for this part. I think you
can feel pretty confident that you’ll get it.”

Jake hurried in the door with a clipboard in his hand. “Are you about ready to roll in here?”

“Already got it,” the cameraman said, nodding at the camera. “When do you want to see it?”

“Get it ready for Jan, and we’ll view it up in her office.” He turned to Meredith. “That was quick.”

Meredith nodded.

“Do you want to go on back to the conference center, or can you stick around here for a while?”

She checked her watch. “I’d better go. I have a stack of manuscripts to read before my evening appointments.”

“Next conference,” Jake said, stepping closer, “tell them you can’t read manuscripts. You’re only there to teach. That’s what I did.”

“Sure,” Meredith said with a tease edging into her voice. “You’re not an acquisitions editor. That’s why they invited me to come. I buy books, as you well know. I can’t make any demands and say I’m a famous actor like you.”

“Not yet,” Jake said, giving her a wink, which she alone noticed. “We’ll decide after we view the tape if you’re going to be a famous actress or not.”

Chad drove Meredith back to the hotel. He spoke three words the whole way. This time she asked him to leave the windows up and the air conditioner on. She also asked if he would mind turning off the radio. She had brought manuscripts with her, and she wanted to do some reading. Chad complied, but she could tell he wasn’t happy about it.

Meredith read through two manuscripts on the ride back and marked her comments on the editor’s form that accompanied each manuscript when it was returned to the conferee through the central station. The system was a good one, and Meredith found she wasn’t as overwhelmed as she had thought
at first. Fifteen more manuscripts waited for her back in the room. If she read for about four hours tonight, she could probably finish them all. Then she would meet with her next round of appointments, starting at nine in the morning and going through one fifteen.