Wayside School Is Falling Down (10 page)

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Chapter 17

What?

It was purple.

So Jenny read the story backward. When she finished, she threw up.

“Okay,” said Jenny.

“So read the story backward,” suggested Mrs. Jewls. “That way the beginning will be a surprise.”

“But I already know how the story ends!” Jenny complained. “I only like stories with surprise endings.”

“Good point,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Here, you can read the story yourself. It’s very funny.” She gave the book to Jenny.

“All I heard was the last sentence,” said Jenny. “It isn’t funny unless you know what happened first.”

“Why aren’t you laughing, Jenny?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “Didn’t you think it was a funny story?”

That made Dana laugh harder.

“There goes the giggle box,” said Myron.

Everybody laughed, except for Jenny. Dana laughed hysterically.

Mrs. Jewls looked back at the story she had been reading before Jenny’s interruption. There was only one sentence left for her to read. She read it to the class.

Jenny made a face. She could still taste the awful stuff.

“And next time you’ll drink your prune juice more quickly,” said Mrs. Jewls.

Jenny sat down.

Mrs. Jewls waited for Jenny to sit down.

Jenny wrote her name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

“Well, that’s no excuse,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Now go write your name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.”

“I couldn’t leave the table until I finished it,” explained Jenny. “And then I missed the bus.”

“What does prune juice have to do with anything?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“Because I hate prune juice!” Jenny griped.

“Why are you late?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“I can’t hear you,” said Jenny. “I better take off my helmet.” She took off her helmet.

“Take off your helmet,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“What?” asked Jenny.

“Why are you late?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

Jenny caught her breath. “What?” she asked. She couldn’t hear too well because she was still wearing the motorcycle helmet.

Mrs. Jewls looked up from the story she had been reading to the class. “You’re late,” she said.

She hopped off the bike in front of Wayside School and charged up the stairs. Her stomach was still going up and down as she opened the door to Mrs. Jewls’s room.

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She put on her helmet; then her father drove her to school on the back of his motorcycle. It was a very bumpy ride.

“Put on your helmet,” said her father. “I’ll drive you to school on the back of my motorcycle.”

“I missed the bus,” Jenny grumbled.

“What are you doing home?” asked her mother.

She finally got it all down, then hurried as fast as she could to the bus stop. When she got there, the bus was just pulling away. She sighed, then turned around and ran all the way back home.

Her mother wouldn’t let her leave the breakfast table until she finished her prune juice. It took her forever. She hated prune juice more than anything in the world.

One day Jenny was late for school.

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Chapter 18

The Substitute

Benjamin couldn’t take it any longer. Today was the day he would finally tell Mrs. Jewls his real name. So what if nobody likes me? he thought. So what if I stop getting high marks?

“Hi, Mark,” said Jason.

“Hi, Mark,” said Stephen.

“Hi, hi,” he glumly replied, then started up the stairs.

“Hi, Mark,” said Bebe as he took his seat next to her. “Guess what? We have a substitute!”

“Yahoooo!” shouted Maurecia.

Everyone in Mrs. Jewls’s class loved it when they had substitute teachers. They loved playing mean and horrible tricks on them.

Benjamin frowned. He finally had the courage to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name. “Rats!” he said.

“That’s a good idea!” said Terrence. “We’ll put dead rats in her desk!”

“Let’s trick her into going outside,” said Joy, “then lock her out of the room.”

“But what if she tells Mr. Kidswatter?” asked Eric Fry.

“So what?” said Joy. “She’ll have to go all the way down to the office, and then all the way back up. By then we’ll unlock the door. Mr. Kidswatter will think she’s bonkers!”

Benjamin looked at the substitute teacher sitting at Mrs. Jewls’s desk. She looked like a nice lady. She wore tiny spectacles and had long gray hair tied in a ponytail. He felt sorry for her, and he felt sorry for himself. I was going to tell Mrs. Jewls my name, he thought. I really was!

The substitute stood up and walked to the center of the room. “Good morning,” she said. “My name is Mrs. Franklin.”

Nobody said “Good morning” back to her.

Calvin handed Benjamin a note:
At ten o’clock drop your book on the floor. Pass it on.

Benjamin read it, then passed it on to Todd.

“Okay, who can tell me what page we’re on?” asked Mrs. Franklin.

“Page seventeen.” called Myron.

“A hundred and twelve,” said Maurecia.

“Ninety-eight,” said Eric Ovens.

“Three thousand,” said Joe.

Mrs. Franklin smiled. “I guess we’ll have to study all those pages,” she said.

Benjamin raised his hand.

“Yes, the handsome young man in the red shirt,” said the substitute.

He told her the correct page. “We’re on page one hundred and two,” he said.

“Thank you,” said the substitute. “And what is your name, please?”

Benjamin thought a moment. He looked around the room, then boldly told the truth. “My name is Benjamin!” he stated proudly.

Several kids snickered.

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“Thank you, Benjamin,” said the substitute.

There were more snickers.

“You’re welcome,” said Benjamin. He felt good, even if the other kids were laughing at him.

Mrs. Franklin asked a question from page 102.

Jason answered it correctly.

“Very good,” said the substitute. “And what is your name, please?”

Jason looked around. “Benjamin!” he asserted.

Half the class giggled.

“Thank you, Benjamin,” said Mrs. Franklin.

The other half giggled.

Dana answered the next question.

“And what’s your name?” Mrs. Franklin asked Dana.

“Benjamin!” Dana blurted, then fell giggling onto the floor.

“Thank you, Benjamin,” said the substitute.

Everyone was hysterical.

“My, it is certainly a pleasure to teach such happy students,” said the substitute. “Who knows the answer to question four?”

They all raised their hands. They all wanted to tell the substitute their names were Benjamin.

They were having so much fun, they forgot to drop their books at ten o’clock.

At recess everyone congratulated Benjamin on his great trick.

“You’re a genius, Mark,” said Todd.

“Benjamin is such a funny name,” said Jason. “How’d you ever think of it?”

“But my name really is Benjamin,” said Benjamin.

“So is mine,” said Stephen.

“Mine too,” said Leslie.

They all laughed.

“Do you think she really believes we’re all named Benjamin?” asked Eric Ovens.

“Probably,” said Joy. “She’s so stupid!”

“If she thought we were lying, she would have gotten mad,” said Eric Bacon.

The bell rang, and they all hurried back to class.

After recess was social studies.

“Who would like to read?” asked Mrs. Franklin.

Every hand went up.

“Okay, Benjamin,” said Mrs. Franklin as she pointed at Dana.

Everyone laughed.

Dana giggled a few seconds, then got control of herself and read from the book.

“Thank you, Benjamin,” said the substitute when Dana finished reading. “Okay, Benjamin, you may read next,” she said, pointing at Terrence.

Everyone laughed.

It was the first time all year Terrence had volunteered to read.

All day, everyone paid very close attention. They all wanted the teacher to call on them. Because as funny as it was when Mrs. Franklin called somebody else Benjamin, it was even funnier when she called you Benjamin.

So everyone worked hard and listened closely. As a result, they learned more from the substitute in a day than they usually learned from Mrs. Jewls in a month.

When the final bell rang, everyone crowded around her desk.

“Are you coming back tomorrow, Mrs. Franklin?” asked Eric Bacon.

“Please, Mrs. Franklin, say you will,” pleaded Kathy.

“You’re the best substitute teacher we’ve ever had!” said Jason.

The substitute smiled. “School is over,” she said. “You don’t have to call me Mrs. Franklin anymore. That sounds so formal. Since we’re friends now, you may call me by my first name.”

“What is your first name?” asked Maurecia.

The substitute gathered up her things and put them in a straw bag. “Benjamin,” she said, then walked out of the room.

Everyone stared silently after her.

“Do you think that’s really her name?” asked Joy.