Wayside School Is Falling Down (14 page)

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Chapter 23

Teeth

Something terrible happened. Rondi grew two new front teeth.

Rondi was afraid nobody would think she was cute anymore.

Mrs. Jewls was giving a health lesson. “Always brush your teeth,” she said, “and remember to scrub behind your ears.”

“But I’ll get toothpaste in my ear!” exclaimed Todd.

Everyone laughed. Except Rondi. She didn’t want anybody to see her teeth. She hadn’t smiled for a week.

Mrs. Jewls made Todd write his name on the board under the word DISCIPLINE.

At recess Rondi decided to tell Louis her problem.

Louis was talking to Deedee.

“Do you have any green balls left?” asked Deedee.

“I’m sorry, I’ve already given them all away,” said Louis.

“That’s not fair!” said Deedee. “Why don’t you ever save one for me?”

“You know I can’t do that,” said Louis. “If I save a ball for you, then all the other kids will want me to save balls for them, too.”

“Thanks for nothing, Louis!” said Deedee. She stormed away.

It was Rondi’s turn. She made sure nobody else was listening. “Louis, will you help me?” she whispered.

“Sure, Rondi, what’s the problem?” asked Louis. Rondi smiled, showing Louis her teeth.

“Very nice,” said Louis.

“And listen to this,” said Rondi. “She sells seashells by the seashore.”

“Very good,” said Louis.

“No it isn’t!” complained Rondi. “I used to whistle when I said words with
s
’s in them. Now nobody will think I’m cute.”

“I think you’re cute,” said Louis.

“You don’t count,” said Rondi.

“Well, thanks a lot,” said Louis.

“I didn’t mean it bad,” said Rondi. “You think everybody’s cute, even Miss Mush! That’s why I like you.”

“Thank you, Rondi. I like you, too.”

“Thank you,” said Rondi. “Will you please kick me in the teeth?”

“No,” said Louis.

“Why not?” asked Rondi. “You said you liked me. If you liked me, you’d kick me in the teeth.”

“You know I can’t,” said Louis. “If I kick you in the teeth, then all the other kids will want me to kick them in the teeth, too.”

Rondi scowled. “Thanks for nothing, Louis!” she said. She crawled into the bushes where nobody would be able to see her mouth.

“Louis! Louis!” shouted Stephen and Jason as they ran toward him.

“Terrence stole our ball!” said Jason.

“I wish you children would learn to share,” said Louis.

“Make him give it back!” said Stephen.

Louis started to say something, then stopped. He twirled his multicolored mustache. “Hey, Rondi,” he called. “Will you help me?”

Rondi crawled out of the bushes. “You wouldn’t help me,” she said. “Why should I help you?”

“Terrence stole their ball,” said Louis. “Make him give it back.”

“Her?” asked Stephen and Jason.

“Me?” asked Rondi.

Louis winked at her.

Rondi’s eyes lit up. “Okay, Louis,” she said. “That’s a good idea. That’s a wonderful idea!”

She hurried across the playground. Stephen and Jason ran after her.

Terrence kicked a red ball up into the air, then ran under it and caught it.

“Hey, Terrence!” said Rondi. “That’s not your ball. You stole it!”

“Drop dead, Ketchup Head,” said Terrence.

Rondi walked up to him, stared him straight in the eye, and said, “In your hat, Muskrat!”

That surprised Terrence. He took a step back. Then he collected himself and said, “Dig a hole, Milly Mole!”

Rondi took another step toward him. “Kiss a goose, Dr. Seuss!” she replied.

Terrence looked around. A group of kids had formed a circle around them. “Go to jail, Garbage Pail!” he said.

Rondi held her ground. “Go to the zoo, Mr. Jagoo!” she retorted.

Everyone was very impressed by how brave Rondi was.

“Now, give me the ball!” she demanded.

“You want it?” asked Terrence. “I’ll give it to you all right!” He raised his fist in the air.

“Good, let me have it!” said Rondi. She smiled, showing him her two new teeth.

Terrence shook his fist at her. “You’re asking for it,” he said.

“That’s right!” said Rondi. “I am.” Her teeth gleamed at him.

Terrence brought his fist way back behind him.

Rondi closed her eyes.

“Hey, look!” exclaimed Bebe. “Rondi’s got new teeth!”

“They’re cute,” said Jenny.

Rondi opened her eyes. “You think so?” she asked.

“No, you were cuter before,” said Paul.

“I think she’s cuter now,” said Todd.

They took a vote. Twelve kids thought she looked cuter with her two new teeth and twelve thought she looked cuter before. Three thought she should keep just one tooth.

So Rondi decided to keep her teeth. They were good for biting carrots.

“Uh-oh!” She suddenly remembered.