Read Weapons of Mass Distraction Online
Authors: Camilla Chafer
I slid a business card from my wallet and passed it to Jackie. “Just in case you think of anything else,” I told her. She took a look at it before tucking it into her jacket pocket.
“The only thing I can think to tell you right now is Jim Schwarz was a good neighbor and a good man. No trouble to anyone. If his passing was no accident, then he didn’t deserve it. I hope you get to the bottom of this.”
Me too, I thought, as Jackie strode away, her hem swishing around her ankles. Me too. I took another look at Jim’s manicured lawn, a glance at my own unmanicured fingernails and climbed into my car, the wheels spinning in my mind. My next step for looking into Jim’s death, I decided, was to inspect his car before delving any further into his past job. There had to be a clue waiting for me there. The connection was too intriguing to pass up. Jim, Karen, and Lorena had all worked together, and all quit at around the same time. Jim was deeply unhappy, after doing something he considered unforgivable. Could that be a coincidence? What could’ve happened to make them all leave? And did it have anything to do with why all three now lay in the morgue?
~
“Nice manicure,” said Lily when she let me into the wedding store after I’d rung the doorbell several times. I was barely a few minutes late. “New?”
“Just had them done,” I told her, holding up my perfect, hot pink nails to admire.
“So pretty,” Lily cooed before her eyes widened and she gasped, “Don’t touch anything! Do not get that gorgeous polish on any dresses. What shade is it? Where did you get it done?”
“That new place across the street. Nails by Monica. I was early so I thought I’d get a manicure. And a hand massage. It was divine. Smell my hands.” Lily dutifully did, giving me an approving nod at the lingering rose scent. “That was an excellent use of your spare time,” she told me, sounding distinctly like my mother. “You should have called me and I would have joined you.”
“Except then you wouldn’t have been able to try on your dress with the shoes without worrying about getting polish on… ooooh! Shoooooes!” I cooed, forgetting about the potentially hazardous nail polish issue. I was pretty sure they were dry, but you never could tell until that gut-wrenching moment when it smeared. “They’re so pretty. My shoes want to have their shoe babies.”
Lily grinned and rubbed the snow-white satin pumps across her heart. She reached into her shopping bag and produced another bag. “I got you some too, but to match your dress.”
“Thank you. I love you so much.”
“You can thank my mom’s credit card. She paid.”
“Thank you, Lily’s mom, wherever you are… Guatemala?” I guessed.
“Ecuador,” said Lily, “as of this morning, apparently.”
“That was nice of them to let you know.”
Lily sniffed. “My father’s secretary sent a text.”
We both rolled our eyes at the sterile message and I unpackaged Lily’s shoe gift. Not only did they match the dress, but they fit perfectly too. As an added bonus, they were black, stunning, and I knew I would wear them many times. Best of all, they were free! Lily slipped hers on and we paraded around the store. “Where’s Sharon?” I asked. “Does she know we’re here?”
“Yep, she let me in. She was acting all weird again, but she said she hadn’t eaten yet, so I figured maybe she was low on sugar. She’s in the back, getting our dresses.” When Sharon did return, low on sugar wasn’t what I would call her behavior. She was skittish and distracted, jumping when the phone rang, and again, when a dog barked outside the store. Leading us through to the changing area, she hung back, nervously checking the door every few minutes, and frequently disappearing from view, while letting us struggle with the serious business of lacing Lily into her dress for the final fitting now she had her shoes and tiara.
“You should get that polish again for the wedding,” Lily told me as we both stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrored panel. I wore my bridesmaid dress and I had to admit I looked pretty good. The whole outfit was much nicer than my previous incarnations as a bridesmaid, but admittedly, those occasions were during the decades style forgot. “It goes with your dress. Do you want your hair up or down? I have to let the hair stylist know.”
“I don’t mind,” I said, just as Sharon walked through. The wall phone extension rang, the bell bursting the silence, and she jumped, dropping the boxes she was carrying. After a long moment during which all of us just stared at the spilled contents, Sharon burst into tears and sank onto one of the velvet pouffes, hiding her face in her hands.
Lily and I exchanged puzzled glances. “What’s gotten into her?” Lily mouthed and I shrugged as the sobs got louder. Gathering up our skirts, we stepped off the podium and sank down next to her. I lamely patted the woman’s shoulder while Lily produced a tissue from somewhere.
“I’m sorry,” Sharon sniffed, taking the tissue before blowing her nose loudly. “I didn’t mean to start crying.”
“That’s okay,” Lily murmured, edging her dress away from any splashed tears. “I don’t mean to pry, but is everything okay?” Lily glanced at me and I nodded, so she continued gently, “We noticed you seemed worried about something.”
“Oh no, oh no, it’s nothing, it’s…” Sharon dropped her head onto her knees and cried even louder. I peeked through the drapes to the showroom, thankful that the doors were locked so Sharon wouldn’t be embarrassed by any other customers discovering her in this moment of crisis. I looked at Sharon again and then back toward the door and the large array of locks and cameras. Hmmm. Edging in front of her, I knelt, putting myself in Sharon’s view whenever she lifted her head. I placed a hand on her shoulder and told her, “I think you’re very upset and I think it has something to do with all the new security here.”
Sharon raised her head, looking up at me with red-rimmed eyes. Finally, she nodded. “Yes, it is.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’m just so worried,” she wailed. “Four wedding stores in Montgomery were hit in the last month and I just know my place will be next.”
“What do you mean ‘hit’?” I asked, trading puzzled glances with Lily.
“Robbed. Someone is breaking in and stealing all the dresses. Do you know how many dresses I have here? Over a hundred. Not just store models either, but dresses women have saved for and paid deposits on. All those poor women who were customers at the other robbed stores don’t have their beautiful dresses anymore. Some of my customers are those who’ve already lost their dresses. I’ve installed new locks, cameras, a security system, and switched to ‘appointments only’, but it’s only a matter of time before this store gets hit!”
“Oh, gosh, I had no idea,” gasped Lily. She smoothed her dress and grimaced.
“I haven’t been sleeping,” Sharon continued, the story spilling out along with more tears. “I’ve been staying at the store as late as I can, just so if anyone is looking, they can see someone is here; and I come in early, but I just can’t do it anymore. I’m just so tired.” Sharon shook her head, and sniffed again. At least, the tears were subsiding. “But I don’t know what I’ll do if my dresses are stolen. I’ll probably have to close.”
“Maybe we can help,” said Lily.
“Uhh…” I said.
“I would really hate if any brides had their dresses stolen,” said Lily slowly. Just to drive the point home, she pointed dramatically at her dress in big jabbing movements.
“And the bridesmaids dresses and all the shoes and the tiaras and the…” Sharon sniffed to a halt. “They take everything. Everything!”
Okay, I really got the point. The idea of Lily losing her dress mere days before her wedding was enough to want to get involved, not lessened by the idea of someone robbing the bridal stores in Montgomery, which really piqued my interest. What were they doing with the bridal gowns once they got them? Surely, someone noticed hundreds of dresses appearing where they weren’t supposed to be? Or a crazed Bridezilla with rack upon rack of dresses?
“Okay,” I said, glancing to Lily to see her reaction “if Lily helps, I’m in. You are not going to lose your business and you’re going to get some sleep. We will find out what’s going on…”
“—And we’re going to find all the stolen dresses!” screeched Lily, excitement spreading across her face. I’d seen it often enough before. She loved the thrill of the chase. “We’re going to take them down! And we won’t find any dead dudes!”
“Dead… dudes?” whimpered Sharon.
“There will be no dead people,” I assured her, glaring at Lily. She shrugged and pulled a face, reminding me I couldn’t really guarantee that. I suppose she had a point. Three were plenty enough dead people for one week, not to mention my short career as a PI.
“Do you promise?” Sharon asked, looking from me to Lily, and back again. Talk about being put on the spot! I hated to make a promise I couldn’t keep.
“Uh…” I started weakly.
Lily stepped in. “We’ll find out what’s going. Just let us get out of these dresses and you can tell us everything we need to get started. Piece of cake. Right, Lexi?”
“Yup,” I agreed with a gulp.
“I can’t pay you,” said Sharon. “I’ve invested so much on security, I have no more cash.”
“Let us worry about that,” said Lily just as I began to wonder what we were letting ourselves in for.
~
By the time Solomon picked me up, my mind was still a-whirr with everything I’d done, seen, read… and agreed to. I could hardly believe Lily actually signed us up to a case, but even I had to admit it was for a good cause. We could save dozens, if not hundreds, of weddings. Maybe even save a few relationships. That was a hard opportunity to turn down.
“You look pretty,” said Solomon, bending down to kiss me on the lips as he stepped inside my bungalow. He ran a hand down my back until it settled on my waist. He stepped back and added, “And preoccupied.”
“Didn’t realize those were your mind-reading lips,” I quipped as I reached for my lip gloss and added a new sheen to my lips.
“Got your report today. It was…” Solomon paused, seemingly searching for a word, before settling on, “short.”
“It wasn’t that short.”
“It read, and I quote, ‘I got nothing’.”
“Okay, it was short, but it was accurate. I did discover something new though. Jim Schwarz had some kind of problem at his previous job. He confided in his neighbor that he was unhappy and maybe did something unforgivable, but he didn’t say what.”
“That’s disappointing. Is he the type of guy to sexually harass someone?”
“I don’t get that impression, but who knows? You don’t seem that kind of man and you sexually harass me all the time.”
“Only because you like it.” Solomon smiled as he checked his watch. “I made reservations. We have to go.”
“It really is a fancy hotdog stand!”
Solomon’s smile grew. “I only take you to the best places.”
“I have something else to tell you,” I told him as I locked up and we walked over to his Lexus. He parked it in the street, which was quiet this time of night. Lights dotted the windows of the houses around me and I raised my hand to wave to my neighbor, Aidan, out walking his dysfunctional dog, Barney. I say, walking, but Barney was currently in the process of doing some kind of belly flop and slide on the grass verge while wearing his hearing dog vest. Aidan gave me a half-hearted shrug and waited for Barney to get over whatever he was doing. As far as service dogs went, Barney was largely a failure; but he was sweet and loving and Aidan often admitted to being very attached to him.
“That dog still a nuisance?” asked Solomon as he opened the car door for me.
“Absolutely. He’s less a hearing dog and more a noisy dog.”
“Cute though. What’s he doing?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, you know I haven’t taken on a pro bono case in a while? I accidentally took one today. Oops!” I reached for the door and shut it, leaving Solomon on the sidewalk. A small movement in his face was the only reaction I got. It could have been bemusement or pride or… it could have been anything really. I waited until he climbed in, switched on the engine, and pulled into the street.
“So?” he said finally, which was better than “no.”
“Several wedding boutiques have been robbed.”
Solomon glanced over. “Did Lily lose her dress?”
“No, but Sharon, the owner of Perfect Brides, is worried her store might be hit next. I’m going to look into it. Maybe I can even get the stolen dresses back to the brides affected.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Solomon shrugged. “Okay,” he repeated.
“Lily said she’ll help. She’s going to do most of the surveillance too and I'll help out when I can.”
“Do I have to pay her?”
“No. She’s doing it out of the goodness of her heart, and because her dress is in there.”
“So long as it doesn’t conflict with your job, I’m happy. Plus, it’s good for business.”
“How’s that?”
“You get the dresses back, we give every bride a business card, and we wait for the cheating surveillance jobs to come in.”
My mouth dropped open and I punched Solomon’s upper arm.
Nice.
I kind of wanted to do it again, except gentler and with more stroking. “Solomon!”
“I’m joking!” he laughed, his face splitting into the most delicious smile. “Sweetheart, I’m joking!”
Chapter Eight
Beyond my initial research, I didn’t know a whole lot about Karen Doyle. Now I knew she was allergic to peanut oil, and her death was premature after being poisoned by someone who also had knowledge of her allergy. I knew she didn’t deserve to die on a treadmill. She was very fit and had a connection to my other two victims, but that wasn’t nearly enough to form an hypothesis on why someone might want to kill her. Now that Jim Schwarz’s neighbor had thrown in the idea that all wasn’t right with his previous job, I had an inkling that I needed to look further into her recent history than just the past few months.
It was that inkling that ensured my butt was parked in my chair first thing in the morning, after arriving at the agency separately from Solomon, with her file open on the desk.
Karen Doyle was the same age as me when she died, something I found hard to comprehend. Right now, her smiling face was staring at me from her wedding website photo. I wondered how long the website would stay live, and just in case someone closed it, I printed every page. Her fiancé only appeared in her life fourteen months ago. That told me he may not know anything about what might have occurred with her previous employers, but it didn’t tell me if they discussed other pertinent aspects of her life. However, I concluded, she might have confided in her sisters. She may even have known what was bothering Jim Schwarz. However, all that was simple conjecture until I delved deeper.