Wednesday (Timeless Series #3) (14 page)

Gossip

Francesca

As soon as lunchtime rolled around on Monday, Marie was in the kitchen at The Muffin Girl. “You never texted me back.” She wore a designer dress with cute pumps. She worked for a fashion magazine as an editor but she looked as good as all the models. “Which means you were too busy to text me back.”

I just pulled a batch of muffins out of the oven. “You caught me.”

She took a seat beside the counter and prepared herself for story time. “From the top.”

“Isn’t your lunch break only an hour?”

“So what? I’ll say I got mugged or something.”

I removed each muffin with a set of metal tongs. “Kyle and I had a great time. We went out to dinner and got some ice cream—”

“And had some great sex?” She snatched the muffin I just removed and peeled away the wrapper.

“I don’t like to kiss and tell but...yeah.”

“Yes!” She fist-pumped the air before she took a bite. “Kyle is a great guy.”

“He is.”

“I’m so glad you guys hit it off.”

“He’s exactly the same as he used to be, as am I.”

“You’re going to see him again?”

“I think so.”

She picked off pieces of the muffin and shoved them into her mouth. “He’s still amazing in bed?”

“Actually, he’s even a little better. Learned some new moves.”

“Lucky you.” She squeezed my forearm affectionately.

Marie was desperate for me to be happy, and now that I was, she was in the clouds. “Personally, I love Kyle. He’s handsome, sweet, smart—and he’s got a great body.”

“I won’t tell Axel you said that.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s too sensitive about that kind of stuff. If I even glance at a guy, he sticks out his chest and acts like I’m about to upgrade.”

“I think it’s cute. He’s so into you—even though the honeymoon phase is over.”

She stared at the muffin in her fingers, a smile on her lips. “Yeah…you’re right.”

Once the tray was empty, I poured the new batter inside. “What did you guys do last night?”

“You know, boring married stuff.”

I knew she downplayed her happiness with Axel. She started doing that the moment Hawke viciously dumped me.

“So, you’re going to go out with Kyle again, right?”

“Yeah. We had a great time.”

“Perfect.” She finished the muffin then wiped her fingers clean. “Well, I should get back to work.”

“So, you get your free muffin then take off?”

“I mostly filled up on gossip, but yeah.” She blew me a kiss then walked out.

***

“You’re super in shape.” Kyle jogged beside me through the park.

“Thanks. It took me a long time to build up the endurance.”

“Fit chick—I like it.”

I kept up his pace as we jogged down the trail through the park. When I told him I was going for a jog, he immediately volunteered to join me. “I didn’t think you were the running type—just a bodybuilder.”

“No. Cardio is important too. I just don’t do as much of it.”

After we finished the sixth mile, we slowed to a brisk walk.

“When is your next marathon?”

“I don’t know. The last one was pretty brutal.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you did great.”

“I definitely didn’t win—or was even close.”

“Well, I’d be surprised if you did. Unless you’re training for the Olympics, that would be difficult.”

I placed my hands on my hips as I walked, breathing through the distant cramp in my side. “I used to hate running but now I actually like it.”

“What changed?” He wasn’t as out of breath as I was.

“I don’t know. I guess I just needed some fresh air.” Or a distraction so I wouldn’t think about the way Hawke broke my heart. Keeping myself busy was the best way to forget about him. With every passing month, it got easier and easier. I didn’t think about it at all anymore.

“You want to go to a karaoke bar tonight?”

“What?” I asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, we’ll sing some stupid love songs together. It’ll be fun.”

“You’ll have to get me crazy drunk if you want that to happen.”

He nudged me in the side. “Deal.”

Haunted

Hawke

I never went to my mother’s house as I planned. For some reason, Francesca’s relocation jolted me. She changed apartments, and I didn’t even know about it. While I hid away and licked my wounds, things had changed. This entire time I thought she was accessible, living her life in the same way.

But she moved.

I still couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much.

Was she supposed to tell me? Did I expect her to?

I had no right to expect anything from her.

I had a particularly good week at work—in terms of revenue. I invested a lot of money into a new bioengineering company, and almost overnight, I quadrupled my clients’ money. When they made a gain, I made a gain. Plus, I had some of my own money in there as well.

But that didn’t mean much to me.

Tony came into my office at the end of the day. “We’re going out to celebrate. You coming?”

I didn’t see myself as their boss—per se. I was more of a delegator. If I didn’t go out with them, I’d just be sitting at home alone. Like always, I would stare at my window and watch the lights of the city come alive as the sun set. My thoughts would mull over things I couldn’t change. My mind would go insane if I didn’t focus on something else. “Sure.”

***

“A karaoke bar?” I asked in surprise. This wasn’t their usual scene. They preferred quiet places where they could drink a scotch and scope out the talent.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “This is the place.”

“Were you planning on singing?” I asked, amused.

“Hell no,” he said. “But the chicks get really drunk just so they can sing on stage. After they make that mistake, they look for another.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through.”

“Definitely.”

We walked inside and headed to a large table in the corner. There was already a couple on stage singing a love duet. They were in my peripheral. When we got to the table, I ordered a beer, deciding to start light.

“I got you, babe.” The guy and the girl sang together, their voices in harmony. They didn’t sound like professionals but it seemed like they were having fun. The girl laughed into the microphone and kept singing.

That laugh was familiar.

I turned to the stage in curiosity. My eyes weren’t ready for what I saw. Francesca held the microphone with both hands and swayed side-to-side with the music. She was looking at her singing partner.

Kyle.

One of the guys said something to me but I couldn’t make out his words. Everything blurred together. My vision became distorted and my heart started to ache. The music kept playing in the background, sounding like Satan’s song. Heat scorched through my body, making my temperature rise to a painful level.

“I’ve got you, babe.”

Their voices kept playing over the speakers. Kyle watched Francesca with affection in his eyes, loving her with just a simple look.

“I’ve got you, babe.”

Please be a nightmare.

Can I wake up now?

Pain. Agony. Rage.

The song ended—thankfully. And incoherent voices became the background noise.

Kyle grabbed Francesca and did something that made me want to hurl. He dipped her dramatically then kissed her, making the crowd clap and whistle. He pulled her back up and gave her a smile.

Her cheeks were red in embarrassment but she smiled like she enjoyed it.

She smiled.

They hopped off the stage and returned to their table. Sitting with them were Axel and Marie, and they both seemed to be having a good time. Kyle put his arm over the back of her chair then took a drink of his beer. Axel said something that made everyone laugh.

And I died inside.

New Beginnings

Francesca

Kyle lay beside me in bed, naked and wrapped up in his sheets. We stayed at his place because it was much fancier than my upgraded apartment. It was big enough for a family and sleek enough for a wealthy man like himself.

“Sleep with me.” He wrapped one arm around my waist while he looked me in the eye.

I had to work early in the morning but I didn’t want to leave either. “I don’t know if I should. I wake up at five.”

“That’s fine with me.”

“When the alarm goes off, it’ll wake you up.”

“I don’t care. I’ll fall back asleep after you leave.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.” He pressed his face into my chest and kissed the valley between my breasts.

“Then I’ll stay.”

“Good.” He pulled away and rested his face close to mine, his eyes still open. After several minutes of silence, he spoke. “There’s something I have to ask you. And just know there isn’t a wrong answer.”

I already knew what it was. “Okay.”

“What happened with Hawke? You said he was your soul mate and everything and then…you just break up. That sounds a little crazy to me. How do two people who love each other the way you did just call it quits?”

That wasn’t an easy question to answer. “It’s complicated…”

“I’m prepared.”

I hadn’t talked about it in so long that it felt strange to bring it up now. I was picking at an old wound that finally scabbed over. “Hawke has always had a problem controlling his anger. He had a rough childhood and could never really cope with it.”

“He hit you?” His eyes immediately smoldered in rage, and his muscles tensed in preparation to take off and hunt him down.

“No. Never.”

He calmed down again.

“He had an alcoholic father that beat up both him and his mother. He left the house the moment he turned eighteen but his mother refused to come with him. Years went by, and she would call him every time things got bad. He would protect her, but every time he tried to take her away, she refused to leave. No matter what Hawke’s father did to her, she always forgave him.

“Years went by and we met. I fell in love with him immediately but he kept me at a distance. After dancing around for months, he finally told me why we couldn’t be together, because he was afraid he was just like his father, violent, scary, and abusive. Of course, he was none of those things.

“We fell in love anyway and we were happy together. But when his father put his mother in the hospital, Hawke flipped out. He left me because he feared he would do the same thing to me—nearly kill me.”

Kyle hung on to every word without interrupting me.

“We got back together, as you know. We were happy together for nearly a year. But then his mother died.”

Sadness filled his eyes. “Was it his dad?”

I nodded. “When that happened, Hawke was never the same. He fell off the ledge and was engulfed in darkness. He pushed me away and refused to let me in. He erected steel walls around himself, completely closed off. He said a lot of mean things to me. Then he left me without a backward glance.”

“Shit…”

“That was six months ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Despite his feelings for me, he seemed sincere.

“I told him I wouldn’t put up with it. If he really walked away from me, I would never take him back—no matter what. He was in a lot of pain but that didn’t mean he could throw me around like a toy. But my threats didn’t mean anything to him. He still walked out on me.”

“Idiot.”

I rested my arm on his. “And that’s the story.”

“So, you guys are really done?”

I nodded.

“If he wanted you back, you wouldn’t give him another chance?” He was looking for reassurance that he wasn’t going to get trampled on again.

“No.”

“So…I have a real chance this time?” His thumb caressed the skin over my ribs, his excitement boiling.

“Yes.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, like every worry he ever carried disappeared.

“But…you need to know something.”

His thumb stopped moving.

“I can’t picture myself ever loving someone the way I loved him, not because we’re soul mates or because I’m still in love with him. I just don’t think it’s possible for me to have two loves like that. If this goes somewhere, maybe one day I’ll love you, but it’ll never be in that hopelessly romantic way. It’ll always be in a duller form, almost a friendly way. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and expect something grand and beautiful. If that’s not enough for you, I completely understand.”

His hand grazed my back then moved into my hair. Instead of being hurt by my words, his eyes shined with greater intensity. He seemed encouraged rather than dismayed. He even seemed hopeful. “Love is love, Francesca. And I know whatever we’ll have will be grand and beautiful.”

***

Kyle walked into The Muffin Girl the second I got off work. “What a coincidence. I was just about to pick up a muffin on my way home.”
              “On your way home?” I asked. “From where, exactly?” He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt so he obviously didn’t work today. “And you clearly didn’t just go to the gym.” I smiled because I had him cornered.

“For your information, I just had a consultation with a client—freelance stuff.”

“Uh-huh.”

He tried not to smile. His lips tensed in odds ways, like an unstoppable laugh was about to emerge.

I continued to glare at him.

Finally, he cracked. “Fine, whatever. I didn’t come here for the muffins—but the muffin girl.”

It would be difficult to hear any man call me that in an affectionate way—not when Hawke was the original person who bestowed it upon me. “At least you admit it.”

“Can’t a guy just stop by to see his girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend?” I shouldered my purse and closed the gap between us. We stood next to one of the empty tables while the customers remained in line.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I just assumed…”

I wasn’t going to hold back anymore. Kyle was a great guy, and I was happy with him before Hawke intervened. Maybe we wouldn’t have a fairytale love story but I didn’t believe in those anymore. I wasn’t even sure if Hawke and I had something worthwhile. Maybe we were never soul mates. It was just a stupid dream for a stupid romantic. “It has a nice ring to it.”

He slowly lowered his hand, his charming smile returning. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. Would my girlfriend like to go for a bite?”

“I have been craving Taco Bell…”

He chuckled. “You’re the coolest girlfriend ever.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me out.

“Because I like Taco Bell?” I didn’t realize that was a good quality.

He kissed me on the cheek. “It’s one reason—of many.”

***

We lay together on the couch and watched TV. His chest was a perfect cuddling spot. It was a little hard but it was also warm. His hand ran down my naked back and gently massaged the small muscles that flanked my spine.

We were watching
Tangled
, my favorite Disney movie.

“I like the horse,” he said. “He’s proud—like a soldier.”

“I like the chameleon.”

He rolled his eyes. “Everyone likes the chameleon.”

“He’s cute.”

He stopped staring at the TV and looked down at me instead.

“What?” My eyes were on the screen but I could feel his stare.

“I hate to bring this up again but…does what happened with Hawke mean you don’t want kids and a family?”

I suspected Hawke would haunt my new relationships, but I didn’t expect it to happen through my lovers. “I never said that.”

“So, you do? You want a husband and kids someday?”

“Absolutely.”

“But you said you would never love someone.”

“I never said I wouldn’t love someone.” My feelings were impossible to explain to anyone because they didn’t make any sense. “I have the capacity to love. I already love lots of people. I just meant I wouldn’t have that Romeo-Juliet thing going on. Having a family is something I really want. I want to help my kids with their bake-off sales, and sports, and homework. I want to be a mom, to love someone special with my whole heart. And I want a husband to share that experience with, a best friend that makes me enjoy life.”

“Can you picture me as your husband?”

“I don’t know…it’s a little soon for that.”

“But it’s a possibility? You aren’t reserving that spot for Hawke?”

“I told you I’m never getting back together with him.” I moved off his chest because the conversation became too serious to enjoy the movie.

“I know what you said. But I don’t understand why. I agree his reaction to his mother’s death wasn’t right but…I don’t see why you can’t forgive him. How is this any different than what he did the first time?”

Just when I thought this was over and in the past, it came back. “It’s different because I’m not letting some guy pick me up whenever he feels like it just to drop me off when things get too complicated. I may love him but I’m not a pushover. A real man doesn’t throw in the towel when things get difficult. I won’t let anyone treat me like that. I don’t care who it is.”

He watched me with an unreadable gaze. “So, it’s a matter of pride.”

“I wouldn’t say that. He promised he wouldn’t hurt me again. Then he betrayed that promise the next time there was a bump in the road. I gave him plenty of chances and tried to help him, but all he wanted to do was push me away. Now, I’m looking for the right guy to spend my life with, someone who won’t hurt me.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

I felt my heart soften. “I know.”

“Do you still think he’s your soul mate?”

That was a bitter topic. “I don’t know what I believe anymore. When we were together, it was beautiful and perfect. But how great could it have been if he left me like that? I’m starting to think I’m just some stupid girl that doesn’t know an ass when she sees one.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

I pulled the blanket over myself to keep my naked body warm.

“I think you loved someone with everything you had. You gave it your all until there was nothing left. And now that you’ve seen it through, you’re certain he wasn’t the right one for you. Maybe he was your soul mate, maybe he wasn’t. But now you know he wasn’t the person you are going to spend your life with. Now you can move on—for good.”

“How can I move on if you keep asking about him?” It was a mean jab but I couldn’t help it. I finally stopped thinking about Hawke all the time but Kyle wouldn’t let the topic die.

“You’re right. I should let it go.”

I turned my gaze to the TV.

“I guess I just wanted to make sure he’s really gone—that I’m not competing with an unbeatable god. I wanted to make sure it’s safe to put my heart on the line. I wanted to know that I had a real chance.”

I turned back to him, subdued by his words. “You have nothing to worry about.”

He stared into my eyes and searched for my certainty. When he found it, he released a deep sigh. “Then I won’t bring it up again.”

“Thank you.” I crawled back on his chest.

“Can I say one last thing?”

“I guess.”

“I’m sorry he’s caused you so much pain, but I’m really glad he’s an idiot that can’t see the diamond right in front of his face. Because I can see it. It’s flawless and bright, containing more light than all the stars combined. It’s rare and remarkable, endlessly beautiful. I will treasure it and take care of it. Not a day will come when it will tarnish or be forgotten. It will always be kept safe—with me.”