Weightless (34 page)

“So let me get this straight,” Willow said, tucking her long, caramel-colored legs underneath her. They were dark against the soft yellow of her new dorm room comforter. “Rhodes is actually his last name, but you can’t tell me what his first name is because it’s personal?”

I nodded, smiling at the screen of my laptop where Willow was framed in a video chat window. It was Wednesday, my day off from training, so we made sure to schedule time to catch up. She had already shown me her room and told me every detail about her first college party, and now we had moved on to Rhodes, which was always her favorite topic of conversation.

“And the same Rhodes who made Nathan Arnold piss himself during weightlifting practice from simply yelling at him to move benches took you on a canoe trip down Edisto River to a beautiful tree house tucked into the trees, where you let him teach you how to suck his wang?”

I blushed, covering my face with my pillow. “Lo!”

“Well, am I on track so far?”

Rolling my eyes, I waved my hand at her to continue, cocking a brow in amusement.

“So you had this super romantic weekend together, which is already weird because it’s Rhodes, but on top of it all, you did so with both of you knowing in the back of your mind that he found a note on his bike that said to stay away from you and he thinks it’s written in his dead sister’s handwriting?”

“Willow,” I warned, shaking my head. “Have a little respect.”

“Okay, his
assumed
-to-be-dead sister.”

“That’s not any better.”

“But am I right?”

I sighed, tucking my pillow closer to my chest and resting my chin on the edge. “Pretty much.”

Willow clicked her tongue. “Jeepers, chica. I think your summer is more interesting than my entire life.” I chuckled, not moving my head from its resting place on the pillow. She watched me through the screen for a moment. “You really like him, don’t you?”

I nodded.

“It scares the shit out of you.” She said it as a statement, not a question. I simply nodded again.

“It’s just, when I first met Rhodes, he was so closed off to me. To the world. And now that he’s letting me in, it’s like he’s pulling me down fast into an ocean of feelings I’ve never felt before.”

“And you think you’ll drown?”

I swallowed. “I know I will. I’m the ship, he’s the water. It never ends well for me when there’s a storm.”

Willow blinked. “Are you turning into me? That totally sounds like some shit I would say.”

“Someone in Poxton Beach has to take your place. Might as well be me.”

“Please,” she said, waving her hand at the screen and checking the polish on her nails. “No one can think of bullshit clichés like I can. But valiant effort, Nat.”

She winked and we both laughed. Willow took it as an opportunity to change the subject, which I was grateful for.

“So Mom and Dale come home tonight?”

“Yeah, they should be here in a couple of hours.”

“You going to tell them about you and Rhodes?”

I frowned. “I don’t know yet.”

Willow shook her head. “You couldn’t just fall for a banker’s son? Or wait until college and find a lawyer-to-be? Something boring and predictable that would save you this emotional tug of war and make your parents happy?”

“I’ve been doing boring my entire life,” I said, shrugging. “I’ll take whatever heartache is coming to feel this alive for a while longer.”

Willow smirked, braiding her long hair to the side. “My best friend is growing up.”

“I’ll have wrinkles soon.”

“Or gray hair.”

“Probably both.”

“Don’t worry,” Willow assured me. “I’ve read anti-aging blog posts. I know just the cream and hair dye to fix all of that. As long as your vag doesn’t dry up, we should be good.”

I laughed. “I miss you.”

“Miss you more.”

After hearing horror stories about Willow’s roommate and refusing to tell her anything about my experience going down on Rhodes, we reluctantly ended our video chat just as I heard the front door opening downstairs. Christina had already gone home for the evening, so I knew it was Mom and Dale.

Tossing my hair up into a messy bun, I skipped downstairs, excited to hear about their trip up north. As soon as my feet hit the bottom stair and I saw my mom’s mascara-streaked face, my stomach fell.

“Mom?”

She choked on a sob, her hand flying up to cover her lips.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong? What happened?” I flew from the stairs and pulled her into a hug. She folded into me easily, leaving all of her weight for me to hold. I felt the tears run from her eyes and soak through my t-shirt, but I only held her tighter.

When another car door slammed outside, Mom’s head snapped up. Wiping at her face, she urged me toward the stairs. “Go upstairs, honey. I’ll come to your room in a little bit.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere. Is he high?”

She smiled, but another tear fell from the apple of her cheek onto the hardwood floor. “It’s okay, sweetie. I just want to get him to bed and then I’ll come up. I promise.”

“I can help you,” I said, making a move toward the door.

“No!” The tone of her voice surprised me and I halted. “Damnit, Natalie, do as your told and go to your room!” My mouth popped open and Mom bit her lip, closing her eyes tight. “I’m sorry. Please, honey, just give me a few minutes.”

The door swung open behind her and Dale stumbled through the frame. His dark hair was slick with sweat, his eyes rimmed in red. When they found mine, I gulped.

I’d always seen Dale as nurturing, kind of like the father I’d never had. He was caring and calm, patient and understanding. He was a businessman, firm but compassionate. But that night, all I saw when I looked into his eyes was a menacing calm that scared me more than I would admit to myself.

“Natalie, please,” my mom begged. I looked to her once more, feeling my heart ache at the sight of her tears, before I did as she asked. I didn’t chance another look at Dale before jogging up the stairs and into my room. Shutting the door behind me, I reached for my phone and quickly typed out a text to Rhodes. He was working the first night shift at his new job, serving as one of the cooks in the small diner right across the street from the high school. It wasn’t everything he wanted, but it was a start. And right now, it was a major inconvenience to me. I hated how selfish I felt, but I needed him. When ten minutes went by without him responding, I knew I wouldn’t hear from him until his shift ended.

Fighting back my own tears, I collapsed into the covers of my bed and wrapped them around me. I stared at my closed door, listening to the shuffling and muffled voices of Mom and Dale down the hall. I had no idea what was happening. Was it Dale’s addiction? What exactly was he addicted to? Had he hit Mom?
Would
he hit Mom?

It seemed like an eternity had passed by when Mom finally slipped through my door, holding her finger to her lips to ask me to stay quiet. I simply held up the covers so she could crawl into bed with me. When she did, I wrapped my arms around her and told her I loved her.

And she cried.

I wanted to ask her what happened. I wanted her to stop acting like I wasn’t old enough to handle whatever was happening. But, in that moment, I knew all she needed was for me to be there, so I didn’t ask anything at all. I hugged her and let her know she wasn’t alone. That was what she needed.

Mom fell asleep after a while, and I tried to rest, but failed. Around one, Mom kissed me on the forehead and slipped out of bed. I pretended to be asleep, but I listened to her feet pad down the hallway to her and Dale’s room. Once she was inside, I reached for my phone and sighed with relief when I saw the text from Rhodes.

- Come over. -

I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a PBHS hoodie before quietly sneaking out. Although I probably didn’t need to be quiet at all — Dale was clearly wasted and I knew Mom had left my room to go take a sleeping pill. She’d been self-medicating almost every night that summer and didn’t think I had noticed.

Rhodes was standing outside when I pulled into his apartment. He yanked the driver door open and I leapt into his arms, burying my face into his neck. He held me tight, gently took the keys from my hand, locked the Rover, and carried me inside.

He helped me to the couch and brought me a glass of water, but I set it to the side without taking a drink. Rhodes opened his arm for me and I snuggled into his chest.

“Want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, kissing the hot skin of his neck. He had already changed into navy blue basketball shorts and a plain white t-shirt and his hair was damp from a shower, but he still smelled faintly of grease.

“You sure?”

“I don’t really know what’s going on, to be honest. Dale has a problem, Mom is treating me like I’m too young to understand, and I just don’t want to be home right now.”

He nodded. “I know that feeling. Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Tired?”

“Definitely not.”

Rhodes frowned. “Tell me how to help you, Bug.” He lifted my chin with his knuckle, his viridescent eyes flicking back and forth between my chocolate irises. My eyes fell to his lips, and without hesitating, he answered the request I didn’t have to speak aloud.

He winced as his lips met mine, as if my mouth had burned his, and maybe it had. I felt the heat every time Rhodes touched me, and at this point, I wasn’t ruling out that maybe I had the power to do the same to him.

No matter how many times Rhodes kissed me, my heart still hammered in my chest every time his tongue snaked in to meet mine. He sensed it, gently laying me down on the couch. He moved between my thighs, his rough hand hiking one up and hitching it around his waist. I gasped at the feel of him pressed against me and he smirked against my lips.

“How do you do that?” I breathed.

He sucked my lower lip between his teeth and released it with a pop. “Do what?”

“Make me forget all the pain?”

Rhodes stilled, his thumb softly grazing the exposed skin between my pants and hoodie. His eyes searched mine before he pulled me up just enough to strip my sweater over my head. Dropping it to the floor, he ran the pad of his thumb across my lower lip where his teeth had just marked me for his own.

“I don’t know, but I don’t ever want to stop.” His mouth found the sensitive skin of my neck, my collarbone, the swell of my breast. He used both hands to push my tank top up so he could kiss down my navel. When his teeth grazed my hip bone, I bucked, and he took it as permission to slide my pants down to my knees. Leaning back on his heels, he slowly grabbed the fabric bunched over my left leg and pulled it off, his eyes locked on mine the entire time. He did the same to what was left hanging from my right leg before dropping them to the ground next to my hoodie.

Rhodes pulled me to sit up straight. My feet were on the floor for only a moment before he fell to the ground and hiked both of my knees up on his shoulders. I gasped at the sight of his neon eyes piercing the darkness as he gazed up at me.

“Give me all your pain, Natalie,” he whispered, his skin hot against my center. Chills raced from the contact in all directions, blanketing me completely. “Let me take it as my own.”

He dropped his mouth to my clit, surrounding it with wet, hot ecstasy. I moaned, gripping the edge of the couch and fighting the urge to grind my hips into him. He was sucking, licking, kissing, driving me wild.

Rhodes slipped a finger inside me and my hands found his hair, holding on tight for the orgasm I felt building with each flick of his tongue.

“Don’t hold back,” he growled, sliding another finger inside. It glided in effortlessly and I bucked my hips. “Take control.”

Using my hands in his hair, I guided his mouth, tugging his hair when he found the sweet spot. When he sucked my clit hard between his teeth, I cried out, grinding my pelvis into him. He gripped my behind in his large hand and pulled me even closer, nipping and sucking me closer and closer to the edge.

“I’m so close,” I panted, my hands flying to the couch again. I kept trying to grip the sharp pleasure I felt floating in space between us. I was right there, but I couldn’t quite grasp it.

He was so hot against my sensitive skin, anytime he pulled back the sharp contrast of the cool air of his apartment sent a jolt through me. When I felt myself nearing the edge again, I squeezed my eyes tight, moving my hips in time with his tongue and fingers.

Rhodes’ free hand found my nipple and he rolled it between his fingers, adding a new jolt of pleasure. Gripping his hair again, I wriggled my hips and he slid his fingers in deeper, feeding my need. Then, he looked up at me, dragging his tongue up my slit before sucking my clit hard as he thrust even deeper.

That’s all it took.

I tumbled over the cliff, falling forever into nothing. Blackness invaded my vision and heat spread from his mouth to every end of my body. I felt the blood rush all the way down to my toes.

As I came down from my high, Rhodes crawled up my body and kissed me every inch of the way until he reached my mouth. I tasted myself on his lips. I felt my soul in his eyes.