Wes and Toren (17 page)

“Then, you’ve already got your answer,” Alycia said conclusively with a smile on her face. “Besides, you have to think about Wes. This isn’t a choice for him. He has to do this because of his stupid parents.

And even though he acts tough, he’s probably scared. He needs you, by his side, reminding him why he’s doing this and why everything’ll be okay.”

She was right. Of course, she was right. I’d been worried about what other people would think and if we were moving too fast, when Wesley’s whole world was just turned upside-down. I was embarrassed by how selfish I was being.

“So, you need help packing?” she asked, grinning.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” I said, leaning forward and hugging her. She was my little sister and she knew more about life than I did.

“But, you still have one more obstacle,” she said ominously.

“Trying to convince Mom.”

I DECIDED to make something special for dinner and I ran to the store to buy some salmon filets. I placed them in a two-hour marinade and went to my room. I looked around and decided that I needed to take everything with me. Except my bed. But Wesley only had a single bed too. Maybe I would have to take my bed. But would there be enough room? The apartment was just down the street, a block or two away, but I didn’t know anyone who lived there, so I didn’t have any idea how big the rooms were.

124

J. M. Colail

As I looked around my room, I realized how much stuff we would need to buy. There was an old sofa and two end tables in the storage unit in the basement that Mom saved for me, so that was a start. But, we would need a kitchen table, chairs, pots and pans, dishes…. There was so much. I had about seven hundred dollars in my bank account, but that wouldn’t be enough for all the stuff we needed. I was working full-time now, but I would have to cut my hours when school started. How was this going to work out?

Wesley came back a little after six. He knocked before he let himself in and I ran out to greet him, drying my hands on a dishcloth. He was wearing his navy work shirt and pants, streaked with grease, and he had his book bag over his shoulder. He looked really cute in his work clothes. There was just something about a man in uniform that turned me on. But, it wasn’t really a uniform. Maybe it was the grease-monkey look? Then again, it was probably just Wesley.

“Hi! Welcome back! You know, you didn’t have to knock,” I said, smiling shyly.

Wesley stood just inside the door, smiling and blushing lightly. “I kinda felt like I should.”

“Don’t be silly. Did you have a good day? Oh, dinner’ll be ready in about half an hour,” I said, walking toward him, but he still stood just inside the door with a silly grin on his face. I stopped and felt my cheeks redden under his gaze. “What? What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing. This is just…really nice,” he said, scratching the back of his head and looking down and to the side.

“Well, get used to it,” Alycia said, walking out of her room carrying a full laundry basket.

“What?” Wesley asked with raised eyebrows, looking at Alycia, then at me. “Is she serious?”

“Yeah,” I murmured, nodding my head timidly.

“That means…. Really?” A smile brightened his face and he exhaled like he had been holding his breath. “I can’t believe it,” he said, dropping his book bag and walking toward me. “I’m so happy.”

Wes & Toren

125

“Hey, don’t get all lovey-dovey yet, you two. You still have to convince Mom,” Alycia warned, then looked Wesley up and down. “I’m gonna do some wash. Want me to throw those in?” she asked, looking at his grease-stained clothes.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” he agreed, picking up his book bag.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Alycia asked playfully.

I knew the look on Wesley’s face and my cheeks flared.

“Oh, sorry,” he answered, accepting the challenge. He pulled his shirt forward over his head and dropped it in the laundry basket. He then took off his pants and dropped them on top. “Thanks,” he said with a voice certain of victory.

Wesley stood at the door, wearing his boxers, white socks, and a grin. Alycia and I both blushed, Wesley chuckled, and then Alycia glanced at me, laughed, and went on her way to the laundry room.

Wesley picked up his book bag again and started down the hall to my room.

“I can’t believe you did that!” I shouted, chasing after him.

In my room, Wesley turned to me and drew the waistband of his boxers away from his stomach. “Don’t worry, this is just for you.” Then he stepped close and wrapped his arms around me. “Is it true? Are you really gonna move in with me?”

I brought my hands around his back and brushed my fingertips over his shoulder blades. “I love you. So I wanna live with you.”

Wesley hugged me tight and kissed me deeply. My knees felt weak and my body responded to his closeness. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to calm myself, but Wesley already had his hand down my pants. I bit my lip as I clung to him.

“No, Wesley. Don’t. Alycia is….” Wesley leaned hard into me and I felt him against my lower belly. He moved his hand slowly and thumbed the tip expertly, quickly melting my resistance.

126

J. M. Colail

“You already got pre-cum. Wanna do it?” he asked, slowing his hand and nibbling my lower lip. The sensation rippled through my body and it was hard to say no.

“Wesley, we can’t. Just this.” I pulled his waistband away and took him in my hand. “Kiss me,” I whispered, hoping his lips could stifle the moan in my throat.

Wesley came before me, just by a few seconds, and my confidence swelled. We had done stuff like this plenty of times, and even though I knew the sounds of Wesley’s pleasure, I always felt a little nervous that I wasn’t doing it right or good enough. But the proof was on my T-shirt and I smiled triumphantly at him.

“Oh man, now I gotta change my shirt,” I said, holding the hem out. In the back of my mind, I was embarrassed because Alycia would know we did something because I had to change my clothes.

“Sorry,” Wesley breathed heavily, satisfactorily. He put his book bag on the bed and pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt. “I went home before work,” he said, stepping into the shorts. “I just hoped that my parents both left for work before I got there, and fortunately, they did.

Oh, and don’t worry about helping me move my stuff. I know you probably don’t wanna go to my house, and honestly, I don’t know what my parents would do. I’ll get a buddy of mine to help me out.”

“Oh, okay,” I answered. I hadn’t actually thought about it, but I was glad that Wesley did. I didn’t know what to do about his parents.

Just thinking about it made me nervous. Wesley was watching me and I smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, stepping close again. “But, just so you’re warned…. You’re gonna get fucked raw that first night.”

I blushed, but Wesley had this uncanny ability to bring out the salacious devil in me. “Promise?”

Wes & Toren

127

I WOKE up around eleven and I sat in bed, going over what I was going to say to Mom. Wesley left for work early and Alycia worked the morning shift. I got out of bed, poured a bowl of cereal, and waited for Mom to get up.

I put the TV on and I rehearsed the conversation with Mom again.

She had been so understanding and supportive, but I was nervous about this. Moving in with Wesley was a huge step forward in our relationship.

Mom got up around noon, yawning as she poured a cup of coffee. I put my cereal bowl and spoon in the sink and leaned against the counter.

“Want some breakfast?” I asked.

“No, I’ll just have some cereal or something,” she said, sipping her coffee and looking in the pantry.

“It’s no problem. I can make pancakes again, or maybe French toast?”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m fine,” she answered, walking into the living room. She fell back on the sofa and closed her eyes for a moment.

I sat down beside her and handed her the remote. She put on one of the news stations and we sat silently for a couple minutes. My hands were clammy and my heart was beating furiously.

“Mom? I, um, I want to move in with Wesley.”

Mom looked at me over the rim of her coffee cup. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

128

J. M. Colail

“I…don’t know. Both, I guess.” I couldn’t look at her though I felt her staring at me.

“I knew this was coming,” she said quietly, as if to herself. She set her mug down on the coffee table.

“We figured it all out. Even though I can only work part-time when I’m in school, we can still make it. I’ve got about seven hundred dollars saved up and Wesley is working full-time, so….”

“But, doesn’t it seem…a little too soon?” she asked, folding her hands in her lap.

“I know, but it’s okay,” I countered unsuccessfully. She was right.

It did seem too soon, but I knew I wanted to live with him.

“Do you want to, Toren?” she asked solemnly.

I furrowed my brows and looked down. I took a deep breath. “I love him, Mom. So, yeah, I want to.”

Mom’s eyes widened and she stared at me, and then her face softened into a smile. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this. Wes asked me not to. But, he came to see me at work yesterday. It was so cute; he was so nervous. He wanted my permission to let you two live together,” she said with a soft laugh.

“He did? He went to see you?” I was surprised, and wondered why he didn’t want me to know.

Mom nodded, and then bowed her head. I could hear her soft laugh and quiet sigh. “It’s funny. You two remind me so much of your father and me at your age,” she said. I looked up at her and her eyes were glassy. She stared at her lap and squeezed her hands together. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do or say; this wasn’t in the dialogue I rehearsed.

“Mom, are you still in love with Dad?” She looked up at me startled, then knitted her brows and forced a smile.

“Of course I love him. He gave me you and Alycia. I’ll always love him for that,” she said, smiling, though her eyes were sad.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, are you still in love with him?”

Wes & Toren

129

Mom’s eyes teared up and I wasn’t sure what to do next. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands. My stomach tightened; I wasn’t used to seeing Mom so vulnerable.

“Oh, Tor. I don’t know,” she said at last, dropping her hands into her lap like they were made of lead. “I guess I… I was just so angry. I tried to so hard to figure out what I did wrong. When we first met, in high school, I knew he was the one, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. People thought we were moving too fast, but it didn’t matter, because he was everything I wanted. But, when that day came, fourteen years later….
Fourteen years!
I thought we were happy! We had two wonderful children. We had a nice house. I thought we had everything! I thought…we were happy.”

Mom’s whimpers became sobs and I scooted closer to her. She seemed so frail and I just wanted to protect her. This was why I hated Dad. “Mom, I’m sorry,” I whispered pathetically. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to comfort her.

“No, that’s not right,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I did know something was wrong. I just convinced myself that there wasn’t. I mean, we were more like roommates than a married couple.

And when he finally told me, I was just so angry! It hurt so much that I couldn’t make him happy and that there was someone else who could.

And then I said all those horrible things to him. I didn’t even mean them.

I just wanted to hurt him,” she said, bowing her head ashamedly. I bit my lip; I could understand why she said what she did. I hugged her tighter and she looked at me, squeezing my hand. “God, Tor, I’m so sorry. I must’ve made things so hard for you.” She let go of my hand and brushed the hair from my eyes. “But that’s why I’m so proud of you.

Despite everything, you were honest with yourself. You were strong enough to know who you are. You were honest with yourself, and with me. And that’s why I trust you. Only you know if you’re ready to take the next step with Wesley and I trust your judgment. And when Wesley came to see me at work yesterday, I knew I could trust him too. With you. So, that’s why I’m going to let you move in with him.”

I stared at Mom with wide eyes. I hadn’t realized it, but I was holding my breath. Mom smiled at me and I wrapped my arms around 130

J. M. Colail

her. My eyes were already red with tears and I brushed them away, but I kept crying.

Mom took a deep breath and patted my head. “I’m sorry I made you listen to all that. I guess I’m not completely over him yet. I wonder if I ever will be,” she said, drying her eyes again. “Just be honest with yourself and with each other and I know you two will live happily ever after,” she said with a laugh. This time her voice was cheerful and back to normal.

I was glad she told me everything. I hoped that maybe it helped her too. I didn’t think she would ever get over Dad. But I understood why she said the things she did and I think I understood how hard it was for Dad too.

“You want some French toast?”

Mom laughed and nodded her head. She followed me into the kitchen and poured another cup of coffee.