What about us? (23 page)

We’d chosen this
place specifically, because it was within walking distance of both the sea and
the town centre.  It was small, with only two rooms to let and was tucked away
on one of the back streets, so it was bound to be quiet, which was just what we
wanted.  The woman who showed us up the narrow, well-worn stairs was polite to
us and effusive about the area, but she didn’t seem to know me.  The large
double room she took us into held no memories for me, nor did I get any
sensation of familiarity from it.

As she left us,
Grace turned to me with an expectant look on her face.

“No, nothing...” I
said slowly.

“Ok, don’t force it. 
We’ll unpack and go for a walk, just as we planned.  Then just wait and see.”
she said, smiling.

She started putting
our things into the bedside drawers and the bathroom, but in her eyes I saw a
flicker of insecurity and realised there was nothing I could do to alleviate
it.

We quickly
discovered that I knew my way around the town and that I knew a lot about the
history of the place.  That in itself wasn’t such a surprise, given my love of
the subject generally, but it added to the sense of déjà-vu that I got
practically every time we turned a corner, or stopped outside a shop.  Some of
the gift shops, or restaurants, I would remember as a house, or as a butcher’s
or something, but it was hard for me to fix a time in my mind.  I didn’t know
if I’d been there as a child or as an adult.

“Maybe you came
here often and that’s why it all seems so jumbled.  You could have seen things
change over the years.  You may even have lived here, or near here for while.”
she said, taking my hand and squeezing it lightly.

“Don’t try so
hard,” she continued, “Just let the memories come of their own accord.  Once
you have them back we can sort them out, but leave that for later.  For now,
just relax.”

“You’re right, as
usual.” I said, feigning disapproval at her suggestion.

But she was right
and it was exactly what the good Dr Green would have said.  I started to look
forward to my next appointment with her; I was sure that she’d find it all very
interesting.

We wandered in and
out of shops for a while, buying nothing, but not letting that spoil our day.  In
one antique shop Grace became captivated by an old fashioned music box that
played a tinny tune we didn’t recognise.  It was beautifully made and a bit
expensive, but not ridiculously so.  She had very few treasures in her life and
I made up my mind to go back later and buy it for her birthday.

We had lunch in a
pub and then walked along the beach until the sun began to set.  She was always
so easy to be with.  We joked, we sang, we laughed and she asked me questions
about the fossils that the place was famous for, listening carefully to
whatever I said.  As we stood on the beach watching the clouds drift lazily
overhead, I caught her about the waist and pulled her close.

“Let’s retire here
when we are old, grey haired and doddery.” I whispered.  “Let’s come back here
to live.”

I wanted her to
know that I couldn’t see anyone but her beside me, in the long years ahead of
us.

“It’s a deal!” she
whispered into my ear.  “But we’d better start saving now.”

We both laughed and
carried on discussing the idea as we went back to our room.  We took a shower,
then slowly and passionately made love on the huge bed, before going out to
find some supper.

Early in the
morning, while Grace was sound asleep, I stole out of the room in the hope that
I would find the antique shop open.  As luck would have it, the owner was
already there, waiting for a special delivery and was happy to serve me.  With
the music box carefully wrapped up and tucked under my arm, I made my way back,
creeping into our room as quietly as I could.  But she was already awake and
anxious.  I hadn’t thought to leave a note, which had been selfish of me, given
that some part of my mind appeared to be waking up and neither of us knew what
it could lead to.

She was thrilled
with her present, so I was instantly forgiven and we danced around the room to
the music it played.  Then after breakfast, we set off to walk along the coast
path for a few miles, up to the Cap and back.  The weather was fresh and the
sun shone for most of the day, so all in all, perfect for a good hike.  We
decided against taking a picnic, because it would need to be carried, so
instead we took just water, promising ourselves that we’d enjoy a blow out
birthday feast on our return.

We walked, we sat
and admired the views and of course we talked.

“Best birthday ever
Jack!” she said, as we looked out to sea.

I put my arms
around her and she snuggled into me.  “We’ll have to see how it can be topped
next year then.” I replied.

“No need, this one
will last me for years.” she murmured happily.

Once we got back to
the town we were ravenous, so after a quick shower back at our room, we headed
back to the place we’d eaten in the night before.  We managed to get one of the
tables outside and as we ate, we listened to the sound of the sea breaking
against the harbour wall in the distance.

“I can’t believe
that I’m twenty-one.” she said, pushing her plate away, then reaching for my
hand.  “I’m all grown up now and I can’t think of a better way to mark the
occasion than by being here with you.  Thank you Jack, I’ll always remember
this.”

But there was a
note of sadness in her voice.  I squeezed her fingers, knowing what she was
worried about; it always hung over us.  Whilst regaining my memory would be
good, it would undoubtedly change things.  I tried to convince her and not for
the first time, that in all the important things it wouldn’t make an iota of
difference.

“No matter what I
discover about myself and my life, I shall never regret losing my memory.”

She looked at me
quizzically.

“Grace, I love you. 
You must know that and I want you in my life always.”

I stroked her arm
as I spoke.  Surely she knew this, surely I didn’t have to tell her just how
much she meant to me?

“You do now and
that is enough.” she said, smiling.

I always loved her
smile.  “Come on, let’s go and walk along the Cob,” I said, feeling a sudden
urge to be moving.  “You get to make a special wish under the stars tonight.”

We walked some way
along the harbour wall, but in the darkness, she was a little afraid.

“I never learnt how
to swim.” she confessed.

I thought about it
for a moment.  “I don’t know if I can or not.  Perhaps we should find out?”

“Fine by me, but
not here and not now if you please!” she said, winding her arms about me
tightly.

She rested her head
on my shoulder and we stood there for a while, breathing in the tangy, salty
air.  Grace made her wish and no matter how much I pleaded, she wouldn’t tell
me what it was that she wanted so much.

“What time is it?”
she asked sleepily.

I moved my wrist
slightly to look at my watch, but it was dark.  She was still wound tightly
around me and I just fiddled with some of the buttons, trying to get the
backlight to come on.  I never did find out the time, because at that very
moment the strangest thing happened.

Suddenly we were
surrounded by light, as though some bright beam had been turned on.  At first
that’s exactly what I thought it was, perhaps a ship had changed direction and had
caught us in the glare of a searchlight, but then I realised it couldn’t be.

“What the...”

I think we both
spoke at the same time, or maybe it only was me.  I know Grace whimpered and
held onto me even tighter.

Just as we were
enveloped by light, we were also deafened by a wall of noise.  It was extremely
frightening and difficult to say how long it went on for; there was no way of
telling.  We just hung onto each other.  Then it was all gone, as quickly as it
had arrived.  I blinked and saw that things were not as they had been before.  We
were no longer on the harbour wall.  Now we were inside; in fact, we were in a
bedroom.

We were stunned; breathless
and completely winded.  For a while we stood still, just clinging to each other. 
In those first few seconds I had a lot of strange thoughts, but underneath it
all I got a distinct sense of ‘knowing’.  I knew with absolute certainty that
this wasn’t the first time I’d experienced whatever it was that had just
happened.  I didn’t tell Grace any of this.  She was already incoherent with
fear, without me telling her something so ridiculous.  I led her to the bed and
sat her down, but she wouldn’t let go of me.

“Jack, Jack... oh,
Jack” Was all she was capable of saying, clearly in shock.  I just let her take
her time to calm down and get her breath back.

“It’s ok Grace my
love, it’s ok.  I’m here and we’re ok, just breathe slowly.”

As I held her I
looked around us.  It was most definitely night.  The lights were on, but they
gave a softer, yellower glow than I was used to and it slowly dawned on me that
they were not electric.  There was a coal fire burning brightly in the
fireplace and heavy orange velvet curtains covered the window.  Apart from
Grace’s ragged breathing and my own thudding heartbeat, I could hear nothing.  If
there was anyone in the house they were sleeping, but it felt as if we were
alone.

Slowly Grace
recovered the power of speech and a hundred questions came tumbling out.  But
to most of them I could only answer, “I don’t know.”

 She stood up and
walked around, picking things up and putting them back down.  “This room is
wrong... of course it’s wrong; we were by the sea and now we’re not,” she said,
her voice trembling with emotion.  “I don’t mean just that, I mean it’s all... wrong!”

“I know.” Was all I
could say in reply.

“What should we
do?” she whispered and I could see by the fear in her eyes that I was about to
lose her again.

“We explore.  Let’s
find out everything we can and then try to build a picture of what’s happened.”
I said.

Even to my own
ears, I sounded strangely confident, exhilarated even.

“Ok, let’s start in
here... we know there’s no one else in here.” she said and I knew she was
trying to find her own inner courage.

I left her side and
walked over to the door.  I wanted to see if I could hear any signs of life
beyond, but I was also curious as to what lay on the other side.  Grace went to
the window.

I pulled the door open
and was pleasantly surprised to find a large landing outside, with other doors
and two staircases; one going up and one going down.  There were gas lamps,
which cast a strange glow over the chairs and tables dotted about and over the
pictures on the walls too, but I couldn’t hear any signs of life.

“Oh my god...
Jack!” Grace hissed at me from inside the room.

I closed the door
quietly and turned to her.

“There’s a bloody
horse and carriage going down the street!” she said in amazement.

I quickly crossed
the room and stood beside her in the big bay window.

“Am I
hallucinating?” she whispered.

“No.  I can see it
too.” I assured her.

We let the curtain
fall back again.  Next to the window was a large wooden wardrobe and I opened
the door.  It was full of clothes, but they were wrong too.  I took the first
thing out, a woman’s dress and laid it on the bed.

“Late nineteenth
century, I’m sure of it.” I said, turning to her.

She took a deep
breath, went to the dressing table, opened a drawer and then gasped.

“What? What have
you found?” I asked, moving towards her.

“A pile of money
and there’s a lot of it.” she whispered.

I knew straight
away from the colour and design of the large notes and coins that they too were
nineteenth century.  On top of the pile lay a small watch, attached to a simple
gold pin.

She started to
count the money, I suppose because that small familiar act of counting was a
little anchor in a sea of weirdness.

I went back to the
window and stared out at the little park in front of us.  The street lamps were
lit, but they too were wrong.  Something was nagging in the back of my mind,
something I knew I should remember, but couldn’t
.  It was exasperating, but I felt alive, really alive for the first time
since the accident. 

“There’s just over four
thousand pounds here.”

There was a strange
note in her voice as she said it again.

“Four thousand
pounds...”

I turned to face
her, not understanding.

“So?” I asked,
shrugging my shoulders.

“When you saved me,
you had a nice watch and around four thousand pounds on you.”

“Oh, my watch...” I
said slowly, thinking about everything that had happened since we’d been on the
harbour wall.  “Just before the light came, I was fiddling with my watch.”