What I Didn't Say (23 page)

I felt like an idiot as soon as we got inside.

The power being out meant Sam’s space heaters wouldn’t work.

It was already ice cold inside.

Crap.

Sam hesitated in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around herself, her teeth already starting to chatter.  Her eyes met mine and I could see she didn’t know what to do.

So I did the only thing there was to do.

Telling her to pack clothes to last a few days, I then went outside and shut off the hose that lead from the cabin to the motorhome.  It took me a bit to figure out how to drain the water from the hose and the trailer, but I was fairly confident her pipes weren’t going to freeze and break during the cold weather. 

Ten minutes later, we were back in the car, the heat blasting.

“Jake,” Sam said.  “There’s no way your mom’s going to let me stay.  Not now that we’re together.  New Year’s was one thing.  She’ll probably suspect something fishy is going on.”

She doesn’t have to know you’re spending the night,
I quickly wrote when we got to a stop sign.

“I hate lying to your mom,” Sam said.  “It’s a lot harder to lie to people you like.”

I glanced over at Sam.  She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders again.  She twisted one of her rings round and round.  I considered that maybe I should tell Mom and Dad about what had happened to Sam.  Maybe they’d understand and not tell social services.  Maybe they’d let her move in with us until she turned eighteen.

But something within me suspected that wasn’t what would really happen.  This was one of those big situations that even when you felt you knew what the right thing to do was, the state would disagree.  And I didn’t want to put them into that difficult situation.

The two of us walked into the house together, leaving Sam’s bag of stuff in the car.  It felt like walking into a furnace.

When Dad built the house he had put in an enormous wood burning stove in the living room.  The pipe ran up into the vaulted ceiling which opened up into the loft and the hallway upstairs. 

We wouldn’t be getting cold with that thing.

“Sam!” Joshua said excitedly as soon as we walked inside.  He ran over and put his arms around her.  “Mom’s making hot chocolate on the fireplace!  You want some?  She put real chocolate chips in it too!”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Joshua’s hair.  “I’d love some.”

“Mom!” Joshua yelled as he started for the kitchen.  “Sam wants some hot chocolate too!”

Sam chuckled as she looked back at me.  She had one of those gleams in her eyes, like she knew where she belonged.

Mom invited Sam to stay for dinner, as I knew she would, and the entire family, Sam, and Kali spent the rest of the day doing homework by candle light and playing board games at the kitchen table.

I slipped a note to Sam under the table during the family’s third round of Uno at Joshua’s request.

My window’s the second on the end.  No screen in it.  I’ll head to bed as soon as you leave and let you back in.

Sam stealthily read it under the table.  She glanced at me, her eyes nervous and unsure.  I just reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

As if she’d been planning it the whole night, at exactly ten, Mom said it was time for everyone to go to bed.  Sam took that as her cue to leave, lying and saying a friend was coming to pick her up.

See you soon,
I mouthed to Sam as I pretended to say good-bye to her at the front door.  She gave me a sly smile and pretended to walk down the driveway.

As soon as I closed the door, I said good-night to everyone, took two seconds to brush my teeth, and headed straight for my room.  Lighting a candle and setting it on my dresser, I then crawled onto the bed and as quietly as I could, slid the window open.

Sam stood hidden in the shadows, already shivering, holding her bag of things.  I waved her over and helped her climb through.

“What if we get caught?” she whispered, looking at the door like it might burst open at any second.

I took Sam’s bag from her and set it at the foot of the bed.  A smile spreading on my face, I pulled her into my arms.  Our bodies melted together, like they were made for each other.  All the worry and fear disappeared from Sam’s face as she looked up at me.  I loved it when she smiled the Jake smile.

I love you,
I said in my head for the millionth time.

There was something perfect and sweet about the way Sam’s body folded into mine.  We both slid into the sheets after we’d gotten ready for bed.  She’d laid her head on my chest, every inch of her body tucking into me.  I rested my chin on the top of her head, wrapping my arms around her.

“How’d I get so lucky to have you?” she whispered against my chest.  “You always take care of me.”

I pressed my lips into her hair, squeezing her tighter.

I’m the lucky one.

17 hours since the power went out

11 weeks ‘til Sam’s birthday

“Oh my gosh!” someone suddenly yelled.  I jerked awake to see Mom shielding her eyes and stepping back out the door.  Sam suddenly sprang awake as well, her eyes wide and terrified.

“Jake!” Mom was trying really hard to keep her voice under control.  “What is Samantha doing in your bed?”

“Oh shi…” Sam said, climbing out of the bed.  I blinked my eyes hard, trying to clear the sleep from my head.  “Mrs. Hayes, I’m so sorry,” Sam started hurriedly explaining.  “My Mom’s out of town again, and the power’s out, and we don’t have a wood stove at our house.  It was really cold and I was scared to be home by myself last night.  I’m so, so sorry.”

I wanted to butt in and blurt out an explanation too, but well, I couldn’t…  So I just grabbed the nearest notebook and pen.

SORRY!
I wrote in big letters, underlining them.  I flipped the page
.  I didn’t want her to freeze to death!

Mom just shook her head, clenching her jaw tightly.  I could see the wheels turning in her head, debating whether to be the good Samaritan or kick Sam out right then and there.

“Breakfast is ready,” she finally said.  Without anything else, she turned and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

Sam looked back at me, almost in slow motion.  Her eyes were comically wide, her face flushed completely red.  I instantly burst out into a silent laugh.

“Jake Hayes!” she nearly yelled at me.  “This
so
isn’t funny!”

Which only made me laugh all the harder.

“Stop it!” she shouted, a laugh bubbling out of her lips as she launched herself at me.  She started beating me with pillows and trying to suffocate me with a blanket.

Samantha was beyond embarrassed to walk out into the dining room and sit down to eat hash-browns, eggs, and bacon, all cooked on the wood stove.  But hardly any of the family seemed to notice this was out of the usual, besides Jordan, who just gave Sam that little sly smile that girls frequently give each other.

With no indicators that the power was going to come back on any time soon, and the Canadian winds still raging, we all hung out at home, drinking hot chocolate again, stocking the fire, playing games, reading, relaxing.

I kissed Sam at the bottom of the stairs that night, just before she went up with Jordan for bed.

I smiled to myself as I lay on my bed by myself that night, feeling like maybe there was someone watching over me.

My screwed up little life felt pretty perfect.

11 weeks ‘til Sam’s birthday

School resumed one day later, when the power finally got back up and running.  I had been dreading it like nothing else.  It was nice to have Sam living under the same roof for a while. 

Mysteriously, after Sam went back home, I found another page had been torn out of our notebook.

What had Sam written that she didn’t want me to see?

I sat down in Calculus for first period a few days after school started up again and pulled my book and a notebook out.  I hadn’t noticed anyone had sat next to me until a hand suddenly touched my arm.

“How’s it going, Jake?” a voice practically dripping with sexual innuendo’s said.  I looked over to see Norah sitting in the desk next to me.  I couldn’t help my eyes jumping to her mile long legs that stuck out from beneath a skirt what wasn’t more than a short piece of fabric.  The top she wore under her jacket dipped low enough on her chest that I could see the middle of her pink lacy bra.

I gave a hard swallow, my eyes quickly jumping away from her.  I hoped my face didn’t flush red.

So it seemed the rumors that she and Blake had broken up were true.

Fine,
I managed to scrawl. 
You?

“Oh,” she said with a dramatic sigh, tossing her hair over one shoulder.  “Fine.  Lonely.”

I gave a small nod, trying my best not to look at her without being rude.

“So how’s… Sam… doing?” she said.  The way she said Sam’s name you’d think she was a rotting banana peel at the bottom of the garbage can.  I instantly felt my inside’s harden.

Great,
I wrote. 
She’s been staying at my house while the power’s been out.

There.  That ought to put a damper on Norah’s smoldering.

“Too bad,” she said, her voice turning bored as she pulled out a notebook.  “Can’t imagine she’s a lot of fun.  All she ever does is study.”

My jaw clenched and so did my fists.

I was grateful Ms. Sue showed up then and started class.

I couldn’t concentrate as the lesson got underway.  Norah kept giving me all these seductive side glances.  Then she’d turn towards me, crossing her bare legs so she was practically touching my leg with the toe of her high-heeled shoes.

Had she done this last year, I might have gotten a little excited.  Even though I’d been in love with Sam for forever, any guy got excited when he caught the eye of Norah.  Even if she had been dubbed Norah the Whora.

I practically ran for the door when the bell rang, and didn’t look back.

I’d seen Norah’s eyes stalking me off and on the last few weeks.  It was surprising that my whole accident and the scars didn’t turn her off.  Was that admirable?  But I knew this was a game to her.  She was trying her hardest to make Blake jealous, and what better way to make him jealous than by flirting with the town cripple?

I breathed a sigh of relief when I got to physics and saw Sam sitting in her usual desk.  I walked straight over to her and planted a kiss on her lips, right in front of the class.

“Well, hello,” Sam said with a smile as I sank into the seat next to her.  “You’re in a friendly mood today.”

I rolled my eyes as I pulled our notebook out and clicked a pen open.

Norah,
I simply wrote, flashing it in her direction.

“Oh,” Sam said, her eyes falling slightly.  “Norah.”

You okay?
I wrote, touching her arm to catch her attention again.  She gave me a slightly sad look, just as Mr. Roy started class.  Reaching for our notebook, Sam set to writing.