What I've Done (24 page)

“Thank you,” I say to her with a bright, genuine smile.

“I think your influences may be working,” Kalia whispers when she hugs me close.

When the hugs and tears of happiness are done I look beyond my new family to discover Eli is no longer standing in the back of the courtroom.

* * *

It has been an entire week since the Judge ordered us to stay with Svetlana and Markus. Rose and I have settled well into our new home. Svetlana has offered to take us shopping for things to decorate our new rooms but both Rose and I want them to stay just as they are. We did, however, allow her to take us shopping for more clothes. After a day-long trip to the mall she took us to get our hair colored and trimmed in a very upscale salon.

Every day after school I continue to work for Kalia and she has given me more hours on the weekends at my request. Things between the two of us don’t feel any different than they did before, other than the fact that she now calls me by my real name and will sometimes come to visit our foster home. She has taken a liking to Svetlana—the two of them are becoming good friends.

On this Monday afternoon there are quite a few more customers than last. Kalia tells me it will only get busier as the summer months near. I have made friends with a couple of girls from school and they tell me in the summer months there are lots of beach parties that involve bonfires and late nights of dancing. I can hardly wait to experience my first one. My life seems normal to the point I nearly forget about the existence of angels and the threat of Johnny still lurking somewhere.

I am finishing a sale of swimsuits to a refreshingly different crowd of customers that are all female when I see Eli for the first time since the day of the court hearing. He holds his head low as he enters the shop, like he is waiting for my wrath to fall on him.

My heart rate speeds up at the mere sight of him. I want to chuckle at how he kind of looks angelic in a white button down, cotton shirt and light khaki shorts. I wonder if I choose to be with him forever if he will still have the same kind of exciting effect on me every time I see him. But I try to push those feelings aside since I am no longer sure which of them are actually mine and which are there only because of some kind of influence over me.

When he stops beside me and lifts his head to make full eye contact with me, a small smile shows up on his lips and I catch a sparkle in his eyes. “You look amazing.”

I lift my hands to my newly layered, more naturally colored sandy blond hair with random low lights that I know Svetlana paid a fortune for me to have. I am wearing a brand new red and white striped, boat necked top and white capris paired with strappy red sandals. My toenails are painted a bright red from my first pedicure that is only hours old.

“Thanks,” I answer, allowing myself to return his smile.

He shoves his hands deep into his pockets, a subtle trademark of his that always leaves me swooning. It makes him appear more relaxed and less pressured, which I appreciate even more at this point in our relationship.

“Do you suppose Kalia would let you go for a walk with me?” He looks over to where she is waiting on a group of teenage boys that I have come to know well from their frequent visits. Without even looking up, Kalia motions for me to scurry away.

Laughing uncomfortably, I say, “I guess so.”

I follow him out of the shop and onto the beach without another word. We both automatically walk to the spot where we had met together so many times before. I purposely keep my body far from his, but still feel a tiny thrill pass through me when our arms brush up against each other as we sit with our legs crossed in the sand.

Eli looks out toward the sun that has begun to drop in the late afternoon. A group of preschool children splashes around in the water close by, most of them screaming when the waves almost knock them off their feet.

“I keep thinking back to when we first met, and the days that followed,” he says. “I wish I would have handled things differently now. I kept too many secrets from you and just asked that you trust me. That wasn’t fair to you, Lily. Maybe if I had told you everything, right away….”

When his voice trails off I pick up where he left off, “Then…I probably would have written you off as some crazed weirdo and have run away?”

He turns to give me a lop-sided grin. “Really?”

I break into a smile and giggle. “No, probably not. I have always trusted you without question since the very first time I saw you in that alley. But maybe that was only because of the whole guardian angel thing.”

His eyes warm and his hand darts out for mine. “Then just go with that feeling, and trust me now, Lily. I want you to know that I really do love you, and I would choose to be with you forever if you only ask. I don’t care whether or not we have children together. I just want to be with you, always.”

I pull my hand away from his before they connect. “I don’t know what it is that I really want anymore.”

“I was telling you the truth when I said I didn’t use my influences on you in any way. Not after the day you met me, anyway.” His voice reflects the pride that I have quite obviously bruised by not believing him.

My eyes close with frustration. There is still an undeniable pull I feel for him that is impossible to push aside. If I actually knew how this persuasion thing worked, maybe I would be better equipped to fight it. That way I would know whether or not to trust what I’m feeling is real.

“There is something I don’t understand, Eli, and you need to explain this to me if we are going to be together.”

My eyes to see his face is looming mere inches from mine. I am instantly lost in his serene eyes as he speaks.

“Whatever it is, I promise to tell you the truth.”

It takes every ounce of courage I can muster not to cave into the blazing hot desire washing through me at the moment. I fight it by letting my forehead rest against his, enjoying the moment when our skin makes contact and sends pleasurable surges through me.

“If you decide to fall for me, then you’re out of the running to be my angel baby’s father, right? I mean if you were to become human, I would no longer have this rare angel-human baby that was prophesized of. So were you just telling me the part about being in danger from Gabe if you fell because you weren’t really willing to do it?” My eyes search his anxiously, wishing all the answers I need would just reveal themselves already.

Eli inhales deeply before wrapping his hands around the structure of my face. “I have been an angel for a very long time, Lily. If your father hadn’t asked me to be your guardian angel, I may never have met you. But there was this empty void in me that I didn’t know existed until I met you. If you asked me to be yours and give up everything I know I would do it, even if it meant missing out on the chance to have this prophesized child with you. I would give it all up for the chance to feel what it’s like to be yours. Together we could make sure you don’t ever become an angel of darkness.”

I realize he has given me another non-answer, but his words feel honest and heavy, causing my eyes to moisten with appreciation. I take my forehead away from his and look to the ocean, blinking a number of times to keep the tears behind my eyelids.

“This has all been so overwhelming. I just need time to think about everything on my own.” When I reach out to push myself up my hand is met by Eli’s instead. He pulls me onto my feet in one swift movement, taking advantage of the moment to hold me against his chest.

“I won’t leave unless you ask me to, Lily. I promise to keep you safe as long as you need me.” The heat of his breath and intoxicating scent are too much for me to take. I balance on my toes long enough to brush my lips against his for only a second, ignoring the heat that burns through me just before I stop.

* * *

Gabe stops by to see me the very next day. He makes no attempt to touch me or influence me in any way—at least not that I know of. He doesn’t even make eye contact as we speak. Aside from the uncomfortable vibe between us, it feels like another day hanging out with him and I can even remember how much I enjoyed his company when we first met.

But I am not really sure how to approach him anymore. Eli had told me that Gabe was some kind of angel of darkness, yet Kalia swore that didn’t mean he was evil. The kiss we had shared was largely due to his influence on me, but it felt nice and I do have some deeper feelings beginning to develop for him.

We are standing close enough to touch and the unspoken awkwardness between us grows. Gabe turns to me, his expression regretful. “Lily, I really care about you but I will settle for being your friend. No matter what happens or what you choose, I need you to know that I really do care about you and your little sister. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to either one of you.”

I meet his gaze to see he appears sincere, anyway. But I don’t know how truthful he is being. After finding out the truth I think there is more than him wanting to see us safe. He has his own agenda at heart.

“Then tell me more about what you saw, Gabe. Do you know when or even where Johnny will try to kill Rose?” I keep my voice low, knowing this is a taboo conversation, but I want to be prepared all the same.

His eyes dart over to where Kalia stands, but she is preoccupied with a few of her female friends who I have met over the past few days. They are busy comparing surfing stories and laughing.

Gabe leans into me. “It will just be a matter of days before he returns again. I don’t know exactly how many, but you don’t have long. He knows you are working here, so this is where he will find you.”

The reality that someone wants to kill my sister weighs heavy on my chest, but I refuse to be a helpless victim again-especially with the same monster that had once brutally attacked our mother right in front of us.

“What can I do about it?” I whisper with urgency.

A terrifying darkness spreads across Gabe’s face. “I will show you.”

* * *

A slow, impatient sigh leaves Gabe’s lips. “You have to concentrate, Lily. You’re not trying to use your physical strength. It all starts in your head. Try to focus on nothing other than my voice.”

We are standing in a quiet alley near Kalia’s shop. In addition to being able to move quickly, Gabe is trying to teach me how to use mind over matter. He insists if I am to conquer this power, I will be able to move vehicles with nothing more than my mind. When I am not even able to lift my sandals off the ground, however, I’m convinced the human side of me is too prominent.

“This being able to move things with my mind business is beginning to feel a little too much like science fiction. I don’t think I have it in me, Gabe.”

In a split second Gabe is standing directly in front of me. I gasp in surprise. His hands are on the bricks behind me, virtually pinning me to the alley’s wall. I swallow the burning fear that rises into my throat.

“Maybe you can’t do everything a full angel can do, but you will never know unless you give it your all. Do you want to be able to fight off this drug dealer that wants to kill your little sister or not?”

Anger boils deep inside my gut. “Of course I do.”

He smirks, pleased with my sudden burst of emotion. “Good. Use that anger to move something, anything. Just make it happen.”

I shut my eyes as something dark moves through me. When I open them again, Gabe is thrown away from me as quick and quiet as a breeze passing by. He only moves a couple of feet but is knocked to the ground, onto his back. My jaw drops and I stand shaking, unbelieving that I had done that to him.

The shock of it throws him off for a second, but once he catches his breath he begins laughing. “You are even more powerful than I thought you would be.”

I am far from amused. The anger continues to seep through my veins and I feel like destroying something. Without thinking about what I am actually about to do, rage takes over me and I picture my fingers curled around Gabe’s throat. His eyes grow wide and his hands fly up to his neck, but he begins to sneer in delight.

The reality of what I am doing hits me and I stop short, beginning to panic. I suck in small bursts of air and I lean over, thinking I will throw up. Gabe is quickly on his feet and comes over to rub my back in slow circles.

“You’ll get used to it,” he whispers. The sick pleasure in his voice makes me shiver.

* * *

When I leave work early and return to Svetlana and Markus’s home, there is a note from Svetlana saying they took Rose out for dinner and a movie. The house feels unusually menacing for the first time when I walk through it alone in the darkness. I flip on as many lights as I can, before discovering Eli waiting for me on the patio. He is almost downright jumpy from pent up anxiety.

“Do you understand what happened to you today?” he asks, his voice heavy with disapproval. There is a darkness stirring in his eyes that I thought until now he was incapable of.

Unable to answer him, I merely hang my head in shame. Of course he saw what happened with Gabe. He seems just as disappointed as I am with my actions.

“This is exactly what Gabe has been hoping for. You are starting to give into the darkness, Lily. You have to fight it.”

“I don’t want to give in to the darkness,” I say with tears.

He steps forward to run his thumb along my jaw line, the darkness in his eyes having been replaced by affection and love. “Then you have to fight it harder, Lily.”

I bring my hand up to cover his and our eyes find each other in the glow from the moonlight. In this intimate moment with the man I love, I know that no matter what happens it will be okay—as long as Rose is safe and I am with Eli.

I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

* * *

Shortly after my new family returns from their night out and Rose gives me a play by play of the movie, I crawl into bed. But I am not able to stay asleep for very long. Nightmares filled with Johnny and my parents keep me awake and restless. It is very early in the morning when I discover Eli sitting beside me on the bed. His hand is resting on my head and he is looking down at me with concern.