Authors: Mindy McCalester
What Love Has Lost
Four years ago, I fell in love. I fell in love with the one who I thought would be there for me, for eternity. He was thoughtful and sweet. He was loyal and hilariously funny. I was always on his mind, and so was he on mine. He had my heart, and I took his.
He wasn't just a boyfriend, the one who would be there for you. He was my best friend; he was my companion. I remembered every little detail about Nathan Leo Hampton - the skater boy.
I was sixteen years old, when I first met Nathan. He wore those stupid, dorky glasses. He had that long, shaggy dark brown hair, which covered his emerald eyes. He always wore cheap clothes, such as a white, large t-shirt and baggy jeans with vans.
He wasn't just a typical skater boy, but he was also a prankster. He loved pranking his teachers, but he would always get away from it. He stayed out of trouble. I remember that he was somewhat obnoxious; yet, caring and insightful deep, deep inside.
On the night where I first met Nathan, we were at a football stadium. I was heartbroken that day because my ex-best friend, Kayla Witherspoon, backstabbed me by stealing my current boyfriend. Lord knows that I would never forgive her. I was glad that I called her a whore, the following school day.
Grady Christopher was one of my good friends. He was loyal, goofy, and vulnerable - the total opposite of Kayla. He was always there for me. He was like my brother.
Rhiannon Evers was also a good friend of mine. She wasn't taken very lightly when we were in high school. Besides, I would make fun of her because she had more boyfriends, compared to anyone. She was also like my twin. We were always being goofy and random together. We were inseparable.
During the night of the football game, East Side Panthers were playing against West Coast Warriors. West Coast was from a different town, but in the same state. I wasn't the type of girl who was into sports.
I wasn't the girly-girl type, either. I loathed shopping, the color pink, cats, and frilly or sparkly things.
I was always hitting the books, studying for tests or quizzes. I've strived for perfect grades, because I wanted to go to a good university and graduate with a doctorates degree in medicine. I wasn't so sure what type of career I've wanted to pursue. I wasn't boring, no. I had a hidden passion, too. I loved music. I've always dreamt of being onstage with a microphone in my hand, rocking out with a crowd of people. I'd love to sing. I was born to sing. I also played the guitar, since I was fourteen. I started writing songs at the age of fifteen.
I've alwayswanted a band with all boys and, me, being the only girl in the band. I also dreamt of living in Hollywood and signing contracts for record deals. The only type of music I would actually listen is the rock genre, except Screamo. However, by the time I've gone through depression, Screamo was my only friend. Yet, I conquered my disease, and just enjoyed life.
My father was into rock-in-roll. He inspired me so much. He and I shared a great daughter-father bond. He was also very protective of my sister and me.
Ivy May, my older, sophisticated sister, was the total girly-girl. She had it all. She had the boyfriend, she had the taste in fashion, she had the perfect grades, and she had the perfect reputation in high school. She and I were almost two years apart. She was a senior and I was a sophomore.
Everyone looked at me as her shadow. Some people didn't know that she and I were sisters. Ivy was the athletic type. She was into gymnastics and dance. She got that talent from our mother. Our mother was a majorette, back in the old days. Ah, she was beautiful. However, my mother was so girly, her and I barely get along. It's incomprehensible, but she and I don't get each other. Of course,she's a hard working mother, but her personality just irks me, sometimes.
March 21, 2008
"Inna," my best friend, Grady, called for me, while I saw him waving his arm as he was sitting down on the bleachers with his group of friends. I walked towards him. "What's going on, Inn?"
Inn was a nickname that Grady created. I thought it was cute, so I let him.
I rolled my eyes, "Oh, you know, the usual." I pursed my lips togetherfrom asking this one question, which I have been dying to ask.
"Have you heard from Kayla?" Grady asked with worried eyes.
I shrugged. "Uh, I've heard rumors that Kayla stole my boyfriend."
"Do you think it's true?" Grady leaned closer to me, while he threw an arm around my shoulder. I didn't notice that I was shivering. I was wearing a light jacket. Guess that wasn't enough to keep me warm, I thought.
We lived in a county in the States, so it usually gets cold during the early spring. The weather could be very weird at times. I hated living here. I wished to leave this town, after I graduated high school.
"I texted him so many times, but he didn't reply. I called him, too. There wasn't an answer. So, I gave up and called Kayla. Luckily, she picked up while she was panting so hard. She didn't really have to spill all the details about Tanner cheating on me, because I've heard his voice in the background. I hung up the phone, before hearing anymore further."
Grady gave me the widen eyes as he held onto me, tighter. I almost burst into tears.
There was always a good thing about Grady; he would always be there to comfort me. He would even let me cry on his shoulder. He was very understandable. He was my best friend. It's too bad that he wasn't my boyfriend, because he would be perfect for me, but he always looked at me as his sister.
I formed a small smile across my face, when I saw his crystal blue eyes light up. "Thank you, Grady. I needed that tonight." I chuckled.
"Ah, you're welcome, Inn." Grady rubbed his hand on my upper arm. Suddenly, his Droid started ringing. I looked at his phone, waiting for him to answer. Not knowing who that person was, I stole his phone away from him.
I made a run for it and answered his call. I knew he was going to chase me, so I tried to find a hiding spot. I started panting, because I was running very fast. Okay, I lied that I wasn't the sporty type. I loved running. I was the fastest runner in the varsity track team.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Uh, this doesn't sound like Grady." The male voice reassured. I chuckled through the receiver. "Your laugh sounds utterly sexy." He whispered. Was that a compliment? I didn't even know this strange man from the other side of the phone call.
"Why, thank you. You know, I'm sexier in person." I chewed onto my lower lip.
I could feel him wiggle his eyebrows. "Oh, I'm dying to see you, now."
"Where are you? Are you in the football game?" I asked, out of curiosity.
He chuckled before answering. My lips quivered. "Hmm, I could be in the football game. However, are you in the football game with Grady?"
"Actually, I'm hiding from Grady. I took his phone, duh!" I twirled a piece of my dyed red hair.
Whatever this man was doing to me, he was actually doing a good job.
I quickly peaked out of the shadows, checking if Grady was near. Then, I turn around quickly as I saw Grady's spooked face. I screamed as he started laughing at me. The mysterious man on the phone heard me as well. Ugh, men were so vicious! Both Grady and the strange man were laughing at me!
"Ugh, that wasn't funny, Grady!" I complained, playfully hitting his arm.
"That was payback for stealing my cell phone." Grady tried explaining through his choppy laughs. I rolled my eyes and gave him back his cell phone. Grady smiled and placed the phone upon his ear.
"Nate, what is up, man?" Grady greeted. I rolled my eyes and pouted as I was waiting for Grady to finish his phone call with his new friend. "Hey, I'm going to put you through speaker phone."
He pressed the speaker button on his screen. I could hear his voice, again.
"Where are you?" Nate asked through the speaker.
"We're beside the concession stands. Where are you?"
"Oh, I see you." Nate finally said and hung up the phone.
Suddenly, a tall, handsome, brunette was strolling towards us. He wore a white t-shirt that had a weird logo in the front. He wore baggy jeans and had those stupid, goofy looking glasses. There were butterflies forming into my stomach.
"Nate!" Grady exclaimed as he ran towards him, giving him a bear hug. Sometimes, men could act so gay. "Oh, this is my best friend, Inna." Grady introduced. A blush appeared across my face, as our eyes met.
"It's a pleasure in meeting you, Inna. Such a pretty name, too." He complimented.
May 27, 2008
Nathan and I talked on the phone throughout the spring semester. At first, I was too afraid to tell Nathan about my feelings towards him. In the end, he found out, and the feeling became mutual.
He promised me that we would start dating during the summer, since we went to different schools. He said that he was visiting my hometown. We discussed it over the phone. Yet, he kept his promise. He visited on May 27, 2008, in Tuesday afternoon.
Of course, he didn't just want to hang out with me. Grady tagged along. Grady was our chauffer, because he was mainly driving. "What do you think we should do today?" Grady asked, breaking the silence.
Nate wrapped an arm around me, since we both sat in the back of his truck. "Let's make the female choose." Oh gosh, what was he doing? I knew that I suck at deciding on things.
"Uh, I have no idea. This town is so boring, so there's nothing great to do." I admitted.
"We can go to the park!" Grady exclaimed. I cocked an eyebrow, and Nate looked at me, curiously. However, there came to an idea.
"I don't think Inna wants to go to the park..." Nathan trailed, but I looked at him with a smile. He titled his head to the side, "What?"
"You can teach me how to skateboard at the park."
"Are you sure? It's not easy as it seems." Nate confessed.
"As you long you hold onto me, there's nothing to worry about. If I fall, you will be able to catch me." I smiled and leaned towards him, and then I heard Grady gagging up in the front. I rolled my eyes, "Oh, whatever, you're just jealous that you don't have a special someone."
"Yeah, that's it..." Grady grumbled, as Nathan and I laughed.
Once we got to the park, Nate grabbed my hand and pulled me out of his car. Grady yelled out something, but we were too busy, so we ignored. We laughed as we were further away from Grady. "Do you really want to learn?" Nate asked once more, before we proceed.
I nodded, vigorously. He gave me his skateboard, and I got onto it. Being my clumsy self, I fell off the board. "Whoa," I cautioned.
"Maybe we should take this slowly." Nathan advised. I chuckled and then nodded, agreeing with him. I stared into his emerald eyes, knowing that he would keep his promise. I counted on Nathan. I trusted him with all my heart. Of all the days we've spent together, I was falling in love with him.
Our first date wasn't the best, but it was very memorable. We were ate dinner; talked about everything, mainly whatever was on our minds. I was very comfortable to carry a casual conversation with him. After dinner, he decided that we should just find a spot to lie down. I thought it would be cool to go back to the park and lie down to see the stars.
It was also the night where we shared our first kiss.
The more we've spent time together, the more serious we became. We talked about our future. We talked about family and friends. We talked about colleges and careers. We mainly discussed about everything. Then, he started going into further details. It was one thing that I didn't expect from him.
"Do you think we should do 'it'?" Nathan asked.
"Do what?" I asked, being oblivious.
"Have sex." He admitted. Honestly, I wasn't ready. I've always promised myself to have sex after marriage, but Nathan wanted me to push my limitations. I was very uncomfortable with my body. I was afraid of his judgment.
"Uh, I- I don't... k-know..." I stuttered.
Why would I want to have sex - and at the age of sixteen?
Nathan comforted me, "Shush, it's okay. We don't have to, since you're not ready."
I opened my mouth, but I closed it and nodded. Nathan smiled and kissed me.
I didn't know what was going on, but I wasn't sure about his intentions. Was he taking me seriously, or did he just want me as his fuck buddy? I wasn't so positive, but I stayed with him. I told him that I wasn't ready, so he understood. He would wait, right?
Still, I was sixteen! I was still young and inexperienced! Yes, I was still a virgin.
On June 28, Nathan took us somewhere secluded. It was our month anniversary.
"Happy Anniversary, baby," He whispered in my ear, showing me a spectacular view with the glorious mountains, trees, and valleys. We stayed in a log cabin, but this seemed over the top. "Go get dressed, because I plan for us to swim."
"This is the best anniversary." I breathed, kissing Nathan upon his soft lips. It was short, yet, sweet, compared to our normal kisses. I inhaled, deeply, as I cherished this moment with him.