What Might Have Been (15 page)

He could feel it coating his skin, mixing with the moisture from their exertion and leaving him rather sticky. She felt the same way to him as he let his hands run across her body.

He leaned up to take a sip of her skin. The heady scent of sex only enhanced the flavor of the wine. He couldn't get enough of her. Greedy, his lips strained to touch everywhere he could reach. And when that wasn't enough, he rolled her onto her stomach so he could get more.

Looming over her, he enjoyed her gasp of surprise, the way the moonlight shone across her skin and the wanton angle of her sprawled legs. He licked his way down her spine, enjoying the roll of his tongue over each vertebra. The wine was excellent—he'd made sure of that—but the taste of her was better than anything he'd ever experienced. Sweet, tart, tangy…tempting.

Ainsley rose up on her elbows, throwing a saucy smile at him over her shoulder. His cock throbbed, wanting to be inside her. Grasping her thighs, he spread her wide. Her sex glistened, wet with wanting him.

And he couldn't stop himself from taking what he knew was already his.

He quickly sheathed himself before sliding home.

Rearing back into him, she took every last inch that he had to give. They could be greedy together. Her sex pulsed around him, stealing his breath and his sanity. She was perfect, tight and warm and wet.

She moved beneath him, a sigh of pleasure leaking from her lips when she pulled him deeper. The base of his skull throbbed with the urging to just let go. Not yet. He wasn't ready for this to be over.

Their sticky skin collided again and again as he slowly thrust in and out, building, prolonging, torturing them both. Ainsley let out little pants as she met him stroke for stroke, each time pushing harder and faster against him. He didn't have to see her face to know that she was in ecstasy. He was right there with her.

He could feel her body begin to quake, the small tremors making him want to explode.
Wait, wait, just a little longer,
he told himself, knowing that the prolonged agony would be worth every second when the feel of her erupting around him finally sucked him home.

And he wasn't wrong. The wave of her release washed through him, pulsing around him and clenching him. An echoing burst of sensation started at the base of his spine, traveling down through the tip of his cock.

Heat rushed through him, radiating out of every extremity…and straight into her. Letting go, he threw back his head and surrendered to the bliss.

It was several minutes before he was coherent again. Before he registered Ainsley's body spread beneath him. Her arms and legs were thrown wide at awkward angles,
but he and she were still tucked close, chest to back. The comforting pant of her breath tickled the skin of his arm.

He moved to take his weight from her but her grunt of protest stopped him. He settled for slipping down onto the blanket beside her, keeping their bodies flush against each other.

Several moments later she rolled onto her side, gathering her limbs and curling into him. Her head rested on his outstretched biceps and a smile of satisfaction gently curved her lips.

Her eyes were closed even though he knew she was awake. She looked like an angel, her hair rumpled and floating softly around her face. She was radiant and beautiful. And he wanted her with him always.

Ask her now. Do it.

Without his brain fully functioning, he reached out, running his fingers down the slope of her cheek. Her skin was so soft. Comforting.

“Come to Atlanta with me.”

The reaction he got wasn't nearly what he'd expected.

Or wanted.

S
HE JERKED OUT FROM UNDER
him, scrambling to pick up the pieces of her clothing. She didn't actually put them on, just hugged them to her body as she turned to face him.

Her mind was racing.

The tattoo of her heart skipped several beats even as it urged her on to just say yes.

But she didn't.

Instead, uncontrollable fear crashed over her. Fear that if she turned her life upside down for this man, he'd turn around and leave her. Again.

He hadn't given her any assurances. He hadn't promised her forever, next week or even next month. He'd simply asked her to come with him, to leave behind everything she was and everything she had. For him.

If he'd asked her eight years ago she would have gone without hesitation. Now, she was cautious.

It was a risk she wasn't sure she was ready to take. Not based on a few weeks together.

Looking down at him she said, “I don't know, Luke.”

He stood up beside her, moving to touch her even as she sidestepped out of his reach.

“Why? Surely you can do whatever you want in Atlanta.”

“Probably, but I'm not sure it's the best choice for me. What is this, Luke? Are we just a fling or is this something more? It makes a difference if I'm going to uproot my entire life.”

Anger flitted across his face before he controlled it. What right did he have to be angry in all this?

“I don't know what this is…. Do you? You're uprooting your life already, Ainsley. I'm just asking that you transplant somewhere close to me.”

“Close to you or with you? Are you asking me to move in? Are you offering me a home or do you just want to keep me handy so you can screw me whenever you get a little stressed?”

“That's hardly fair.”

“Fair? I have plans, Luke. Did you know that I got accepted to the Auburn agricultural program? I want to spend my life working on a farm, in the dirt, in the open air. I can't do that in Atlanta.”

His jaw went lax as he stared at her for several seconds. His voice was quiet when he answered, “No. I didn't even realize you'd applied anywhere.”

“No, you didn't. You haven't asked me what I wanted to do with my life…at least not without the focus of your question being whether my answer would mess up
your
plans. You expect me to rearrange everything for you and yet you won't make any sacrifices. You won't offer me promises.” She could feel the tears clogging the back of her throat, a mixture of pain, sadness and downright anger that was a lethal combination for her composure. “You won't share any part of your life with me. What's going on with your company, what's going on in your head… You keep it all to yourself. And yet you expect me to split myself wide-open and risk it all.”

She stared into his eyes, hoping for something, searching for something that just wasn't there. The center of her chest began to ache, a burning sensation that felt as if she were being ripped in two.

“I can't do it, Luke. I'm older and wiser and I've been hurt one too many times to risk it.”

She turned her back on him, taking a few blind steps away, hoping that she could get beyond his sight before completely breaking down.

But he stopped her. His hands wrapped around the curve of her biceps, pulling her tight against his chest. She could feel the rise and fall of his haggard breaths. Part of her appreciated the single sign that this was as difficult for him on some level as it was for her.

His skin, still covered with wine and crushed fruit, stuck to her own. Her body wanted her to relent; even now amidst the emotional turmoil she could feel the faint buzz of sexual awareness coursing through her veins.

He dipped his head to her, his lips brushing against the curve of her neck as he whispered, “I can't offer you promises, Ainsley. You better than anyone should
understand that there just aren't any. All I can tell you right now is that I want you with me.”

The tears finally slipped free. She'd have given any thing to hear those exact words before. Now she wanted more. She needed more. She deserved more. She wasn't a young, naive girl any longer. She was a strong, independent, intelligent woman who finally understood her own worth.

“This time, that isn't good enough.”

 

L
UKE TOSSED AND TURNED
all night, rehashing his conversation with Ainsley, trying to find some way it could have turned out differently. He was a master negotiator. He'd spent years arguing his way into contracts with companies that hadn't known they needed him until he'd pointed it out.

When he'd needed those skills most, they had deserted him.

His head pounded, he couldn't sleep and his mind was restless. He wasn't happy. But he also knew that she was asking too much. He couldn't offer her promises. He couldn't guarantee her forever. It would be false advertising, something he'd tried hard over the years to avoid.

Today, for a change, he would be the first one up. He dragged his tired body out of bed, threw on jeans and a T-shirt, and made his way to the kitchen. He definitely needed caffeine in order to function today. The house was quiet, peaceful, in the minutes just after sunrise. The hustle and bustle would begin any minute, but right now…
the air was cool, the world was calm. Unfortunately, his head was still spinning.

He made a pot of coffee and settled in, but seconds after his first sip, an email pinged into the in-box on his BlackBerry. He saw immediately that it was from the orchard's client. Luke had sent them a request for the paperwork, explaining that their delay was holding up the sale.

They'd responded. With a message that said it had been completed and mailed over a week and a half ago.

At first Luke just stared down at the small screen in his palm. How could that be?

But then his brain began to spin. All the problems. All the delays. He'd been chalking them up to coincidence, timing issues and the normal delays in trying to move a sale of this magnitude through the system quickly. There were bound to be some miscues and dropped calls.

Somewhere deep inside, though, he'd wondered. Could all the mistakes really have been unintentional?

Ainsley was the one who handled the orchard's correspondence. How many times had he watched her head down the long drive to retrieve the mail? His grandmother certainly couldn't make that long walk. At least he didn't think so.

He went to Ainsley's office, deciding there was one simple way to find out the truth. Sifting through the piles of papers on her desk, it didn't take him long to find the envelope he was looking for buried beneath days and days of credit card offers and supply catalogs. Opened.

How could she have done this?

He knew she was unhappy with his decision to sell the farm, but she'd seemed resigned. Hell, she even had a plan for her life after it all went through.

So why? That's what he wanted to know. Why had Ainsley been sabotaging everything he'd been working toward?

Plunking down into the single seat in the office, Luke stared out the window. If he was honest with himself, he'd admit that over the past few days he'd begun to wonder if the delays were really coincidences. But he hadn't wanted to think Ainsley had been capable of that kind of deceit.

Not the woman who'd shared his bed, not the girl he'd once loved, not the strong and capable person she'd become. The Ainsley he knew couldn't have done something like this.

But the proof was sitting, crumpled in his hand.

Galvanized by anger, fueled by resentment and disbelief, Luke carefully slipped the letter back into the stack. He'd wait until she came down and confront her with evidence she couldn't dispute.

 

F
OR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS
they'd slept in separate rooms. Ainsley had jumped into the pond to wash off the sticky residue on her skin and to hide the tears that she couldn't seem to stop.

When she resurfaced Luke was gone, along with all evidence of the surprise he'd planned for her. Everything except the four-wheeler that waited silently for her return.

The next morning she sluggishly crept down the stairs an hour or so after dawn. Later than normal but she supposed no one would blame her this once. The entire farm must have known what Luke planned. How could they have missed his elaborate preparations waiting there for her? She wanted to avoid the orchard for that very reason. She didn't think she could take the knowing stares and sly winks. Not this morning.

Instead, she slipped into the office, closing her eyes as she soaked up the sunshine before putting her head down and concentrating on paying bills.

It wouldn't be long before this chore was no longer hers.

And that was precisely where he found her several hours later, her eyes bleary from lack of sleep and staring at the marching line of black numbers. She could hear him coming from halfway down the hall. His staccato steps were quick and angry. She hoped he didn't want to rehash last night. She just wasn't up for that this morning.

She was afraid that at the slightest push from him she'd fold. And that eventually they'd both regret it. She'd lain awake for hours last night going over and over her decision. It had been the right one.

So why did it hurt so much?

Whatever she'd expected, it wasn't the storm of angry man that blew into her office.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?”

“What do you mean? I'm balancing the accounts.” She pointed calmly to the open ledger in front of her, knowing
that in the face of such seething rage it was her best hope to come out unscathed. It had been a long time since she'd had to deal with a man this angry—since she'd moved out of her father's house—but old habits died hard and she immediately went into conciliatory mode.

However, Luke wasn't her father and she had no real fear of physical or emotional abuse at his hands. She simply didn't have the energy to deal with the kind of eruption she could see coming.

Not from him. Not today.

“Admit it. You've done everything in your power to stall the sale of the orchard.” He stalked around the side of her desk, invading her space and forcing her to stand to meet him toe-to-toe.

Where was this coming from? “I've done no such thing. I've done everything you asked me to do. Hell, I even stepped in and showed the buyer around the orchard when you forgot about the scheduled meeting. I've bent over backward to help you.”

“But you don't think I should sell.”

“No. I don't. I've been open with you about that. But that doesn't mean I've sabotaged you.”

“That's exactly what you've done. Saying you emailed the financial documents to the broker when you never did. Conveniently forgetting to give me phone messages from the Realtor. Changing appointment times without bothering to let me know. Hiding the approval documents from the client. I think that's the worst.”

What the hell was he talking about? She hadn't done any of those things.

“I put the financial paperwork on the kitchen counter with yours. You never gave me the broker's email address…I couldn't email her.” Ainsley made sure that her words were precise and clear, needing them to sink through the red haze surrounding Luke. “I haven't seen the paperwork from the client.”

He began rummaging in the papers piled on her desk. Flipping through a stack of junk mail that she really needed to take the time to go through. But it was such a pain, a never-ending task she'd been too preoccupied to deal with for the past few weeks. Too preoccupied with him.

“Oh, really,” he said, holding up an envelope from the stack. She didn't appreciate the sarcasm dripping from his words but couldn't do anything about it. She recognized the high-quality stationery that he held in his hand. Definitely from their client. But she hadn't put the letter there. She'd never seen it.

“What would you call this? I got an email from them this morning. They said they'd mailed the documents a week and a half ago. You've had this for at least a week. When were you going to tell me, Ainsley? How long were you going to let me sit here and wait?”

Disbelief and a definite feeling of dread began to churn in the pit of her stomach. “Luke, I don't know where that came from but I haven't seen it before today. Until now.”

She could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't believe her. The fact that he could doubt her word hurt, but she had no intention of letting him know just
how much. Yes, she might disagree with his decision, but she never would have stooped to underhanded tricks to push him into what she wanted. What she thought was right.

“Why? That's what I really want to know, Ainsley. Why would you do this? Wasn't it enough that you took Logan and Alex from me? Was it just too hard for you to let go of the home and family you stole from me? This isn't yours. Collier Orchards will never be yours.”

She honestly thought she'd cried all of her tears last night. She'd felt washed up and bone-dry when she'd woken up this morning. But his words, harsh and lethal, brought more to the surface again.

She refused to let them fall. She held them back just at the edges of her control and her eyelashes. Her voice was weak and husky when she responded.

“I didn't take anything from you, Luke. You threw it away. With both hands. You walked away from me, from Logan, from your grandparents, from this place. And yes, you walked away from your son. You might not have known but you never even considered the possibility. It didn't matter to you. The life we had together, the love we shared didn't matter. At least not more than your freedom.

“I didn't try to take that away from you then and I certainly haven't tried to take it away from you now. Believe what you want, but I didn't do any of the things that you've just accused me of. Why would I? Even if you stayed, I'm leaving. I can't live here anymore. Not with you.”