What the Heart Knows (15 page)

“Jared, the problem—”

He pressed two fingers into her lips to still her words. “No, listen to what I have to say, then you can talk.”

She nodded, her mouth tingling where he had touched her, reminding her yet again of how much this man affected her.

“You were right. I was blaming myself for Alice's death and I was blaming myself for Mark's relapse. I used Mark's illness as my penance for not being able to help Alice. Remember when I told you why I became a doctor?”

She nodded, recalling the story of his younger brother and his death when he was a teenager. He had drowned in the lake and Jared had tried to revive him after pulling him out.

“I loved my little brother a lot. We were best friends as well as brothers. When I couldn't save him, I vowed I would become a doctor and protect all the people I cared about. I had forgotten that God has the ultimate control over life and death, not me. Last night I did a lot of thinking about my situation, about my life, about my feelings for you.”

Before her legs gave out, Kathleen settled on the
cushion, her heart beating double time. Jared sat next to her, leaving, she saw thankfully, some space between them.

“It isn't easy for me to admit that my faith in the Lord wasn't as strong as I had thought. My faith is what helped me through my brother's drowning and Alice's alcoholism and her death, but I didn't really turn myself over to the Lord totally. I put conditions on that faith, conditions that in the long run were impossible. When you believe in God, there should be no conditions. I learned that from you. These past few months that's how you've dealt with Mark's illness. You've put it in God's hands. You didn't beat yourself up over his relapse. You handled it the way it should have been dealt with.” Jared paused, blowing out a breath of air as if he had held it through his explanation.

Emotions kept in check flooded Kathleen. She so wanted to believe Jared could move on and forget the past. But doubt nibbled at her blossoming hope. “I don't know what the future holds for Mark. He will need a lot of support. I'm learning more and more about schizophrenia and realize each case is different. There is no road map my son will predictably follow. I can't ask you to deal with that on a day-to-day basis.”

He slid closer, leaving little room between them. Taking her hands in his, he smiled, a calm composure settling over him. “But that's what love is all about. Sharing our lives completely. Alice didn't want to share her life and her problems with me. She pushed me away. We weren't a team. As long as I'm
a total part of your life, I can handle anything. I can't change the past, but I can change the way I deal with it.” He captured her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “I love you.”

With the last spoken so ardently her doubts began to dim. Maybe it could work. She wanted to believe that more than anything. “What about Hannah and Terry? This could be a lot to ask of them.”

“Hannah assured me last night that she and Terry want us all to be a family. They know Mark is ill and want to help him. They love you as I do.”

The grin that accompanied his declaration sent her heart racing even more. But still she had to ask, “Are you sure about this, Jared?”

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life. These past months with you have shown me what a real relationship can be like. Will you marry me, Kathleen? For better, for worse.”

She leaned forward and grazed her lips across his. “How can I refuse? You have quite a persuasive argument.”

He wound his arms around her and drew her close, covering her mouth with his. His light kiss evolved into a soul-bonding one that rocked her very foundation.

When he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, he asked, “Then I can take that as a yes?”

“Yes.” Then more loudly she said, “Yes. Yes. I love you, Jared Matthews, with all my heart.”

He pressed her against his length. “Want to go sailing with me? There isn't a better view of the sun setting.”

“I'd go anywhere with you.” Kathleen thought of one of her favorite stories in the Bible, Ruth. Family was everything and now she would have a new, larger family to love, but best of all she would have Jared to love. She would share with him the joys and pains of life.

“C
ome on, you two, let's hurry. I don't want to be late. We need to get a good seat.” Hannah tugged on Kathleen's hand, trying to move her faster.

Which was nearly impossible, Kathleen thought, lumbering toward the front of the rec hall. Being over eight months pregnant made it hard to do anything quickly.

“Honey, why don't you go ahead and save us two seats?” Jared asked, his arm about his wife.

“Sure.” Hannah hurried away.

“Thanks.” Kathleen paused, arching her back to try and ease the dull ache throbbing in its lower reaches. “At least I won't be pregnant during the worst part of summer.”

“Hannah can hardly wait.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Actually three.”

She leaned into Jared, marveling at how her life
had changed over the year and half she'd been married to him. He was her support, her other half. Having this baby was a testament to the deep love they shared.

“I think I see Hannah waving from the front. We'd better get moving or she'll come and get us.” Kathleen started forward with Jared by her side.

When they reached the front row of chairs, Jared helped Kathleen to sit. A few minutes later the lights dimmed.

“Mark and Terry are the first act,” Hannah whispered.

Kathleen settled back and got as comfortable as possible when carrying around an extra twenty-five pounds. The dull ache in her back persisted, but she was determined to ignore it so she could enjoy her son and Terry playing a duet on the guitars.

When the two appeared on stage, Jared reached over and covered her hand with his, lacing their fingers together. Mark would be a senior in the next school year and would graduate. He hadn't had a relapse in over a year and was staying on his medication. She was sure early detection of his illness had helped her son and was so thankful to Jared for that.

As the first notes of the song, “Yellow Submarine,” by the Beatles sounded in the quiet hall, Kathleen peered at Jared and caught his gaze. The love that shone in his eyes still made her heart pound against her chest and her throat contract with emotions. She mouthed the words, “I love you,” then returned her attention to the stage and her two sons.

When Mark and Terry strummed the last note, the
audience erupted with loud clapping. Kathleen joined in as the two took their bows, Mark and Terry beaming.

“Terry is becoming quite good,” she whispered to Jared.

“Thanks to Mark.”

A warm gush saturated her seat. Kathleen sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, my.”

“What's wrong?”

“My water just broke.”

Dear Reader,

What the Heart Knows
is a story of hope and friendship. Kathleen comes to Crystal Springs, her life turned upside down with the death of her beloved husband. Her son is acting odd, and she knows something is wrong. Jared befriends her and promises to help her discover what is wrong with her son. Through this journey they find love for each other. Her renewed faith in the Lord gives her the hope she needs to deal with her son's illness and to help Jared find the peace he needs to move on in his life.

One of my favorite books of the Bible is the story of Ruth. It is a story of friendship and commitment, but it is also a story of hope. Ruth and Naomi don't give up hope, and in the end Ruth is given a precious gift—a husband and son. When faced with a difficult illness, having hope is so important. Even though Kathleen's son has schizophrenia, I wanted to show there is hope in dealing with the illness. New medications are helping. Early detection is important. Support for the person with schizophrenia and the family is also paramount. There are organizations that can help. In the United States there is the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), National Mental Health Association (NMHA), National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD) and National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI).

I love hearing from readers. You can contact me at P.O. Box 2074, Tulsa, OK 74101 or [email protected].

May God bless you,