What the Heart Needs (17 page)

He stayed inside her, his face in her hair. Her body was shaking from head to toe. He turned to kiss her cheek and found wetness there. When he opened his eyes, he saw her eyes closed and tears running slowly down her face. He pulled himself gently out of her, rolling onto his side and pulling her with him. His hand went around her waist and held her tighly. Her body was still trembling, though less roughly.

Hannah felt completely out of control of her body. Her climax had broken through to something unknown inside her. Her entire body was shaking and she felt intensely emotional at the entire experience. She winced a little when she felt Elliott leave her body, feeling a bit tender now that the passion had eased.

He held her gently against his chest, his jaw resting on top of her head. He stroked her hair gently as she cried silently. His hands ran carefully down her back, easing her trembling and relaxing her nerves.

When her body was still again, Elliott shifted onto his back, pulling Hannah so that she was resting on his chest. His hand was still around her waist and his fingers in her hair. She felt completely drained. All the weeks of restless sleep caught up with her at once and she felt her eyes closing heavily.

Just before she fell asleep, she felt Elliott’s lips press a kiss against the top of her head. She fell into a quiet, deep sleep with Elliott’s heartbeat against her ear like a lullaby.

She woke up several hours later, Elliott’s arm heavy across her hips. Sometime after she had fallen asleep, Elliott had somehow pulled a blanket up and over them. She could hear his deep, steady breathing and knew he was sound asleep. His chest rose and fell underneath her cheek, his skin somewhat cool to the touch.

Hannah laid there for a moment, feeling content and at ease for the first time in months.

But then reality started to set in. What had she done? Hannah lifted her head slowly, inching herself off of him bit by bit so she didn’t disturb him. Looking down at him, he seemed so much softer with his eyes closed, younger and less imposing. His arm fell heavily onto the mattress as she carefully sat up and moved away from his sleeping form.

She slid out of the blanket and stood on the floor, naked, scrambling to find her clothes as quickly as possible before he, god forbid, woke up. Her hands grabbed for her bra, shirt, and pants. She saw her ballet flats by the door and realized she didn’t even remember slipping them off. Her panties were nowhere in sight and she didn’t want to waste time looking for them.

She tiptoed out of the open bedroom door, closing it softly behind her and slipping into her clothes as she made her way down the hallway.

Hannah closed the front door behind her, cringing at the loud, echoing sound. She got into her car and backed out of the driveway with her lights off. Once out of his neighborhood, she pulled her car to the side of the road and put it into park.

Oh, god.

How the hell did that happen? One minute they were just talking, the next thing they were rolling around naked. Where had her head been? She had planned against this kind of thing. After that night in her office, and the subsequent consequences, she had promised herself that she wasn’t going to let it happen again. And she certainly wasn’t going to go to bed with him.

Hannah rested her forehead against her steering wheel, taking a few deep breaths. How was she going to be able to face him at the office? Was he going to say anything about it to her? Could she possibly hope that maybe he wouldn’t even bring it up?

He hadn’t pressed her after the night in her office. Sure, he had played a few games with her so that she couldn’t completely ignore him. But he had never actually brought it up.

But that had just been some heavy kissing. And a little dry grinding against each other. It was tame by most standards. She hadn’t even felt his fingers on her skin.

Even as she sat there, she could feel the memory of his hands touching every inch of her body.

As much as she wished all she could do was call it a mistake and feel nothing but regret, she couldn’t. Try as she might to think otherwise, she had never experienced anything even close to that before in her life. It was painfully obvious how experienced Elliott was with women. He knew every spot on her body to touch, to kiss, to lick. He sensed when she was on the edge of climax and pulled away, making the excruciating pleasure build and ebb then build back up again.

Hannah shivered at the memory. She had never known sex could be that way- both intimate and passionate and hot and steamy at the same time. He had spent so much time worshipping every curve and crevice of her body, places she hadn’t even known were erotic.

The way he had looked at her, like she was precious and beautiful and sexy had quickly pushed away her natural insecurities at being seen fully bare to a man. And whenever she felt herself pull away, allowing fear and uncertainty to cloud her sensations, she swore he sensed it. Somehow he felt the tension suddenly there and he reacted. He pulled her closer. His lips found hers and kissed her until she felt dizzy.

He was everything she had read or heard about when someone mentioned an amazing lover.

And she hadn’t experienced the pain she dreaded the most. When the moment had come and she felt his impossibly thick hardness press against her small opening, she had felt pressure, a slight discomfort as her body stretched to meet the demand of his body. But he had slid in carefully and she had felt a rush of relief and pleasure like she wasn’t aware of possessing.

Hannah threw her car back into drive and drove, trying to focus on the road instead of the desire building up within her again. She couldn’t possibly want him again so soon, but somehow she did. She checked the stereo, shocked to find it was well after three in the morning.

She felt rested, wondering exactly how long she had spent sleeping. It had barely been seven o’clock when she arrived in his house. And they were up in his bedroom not long after. But how long had they spent rolling around together? The foreplay had seemed to go on forever. An hour? More? She wasn’t sure. But she had certainly gotten at least five full hours of rest afterward.

It seemed strange to her that she had slept more deeply with him than she had in weeks at home in her own comfortable bed. Maybe it was just because the overwhelming sensations and the mind-blowing orgasm had drained her already exhausted body. A little voice in her mind whispered that it was something more than that, but she quickly pushed that idea away, looking for ideas that were easier to face.

Hannah pulled up to her apartment building, all the windows dark. She let herself in, feeling uneasy about walking around its halls alone in the middle of the night. Letting herself into her apartment, she switched on the light and locked the door behind her.

When she took a deep, steadying breath, she looked down toward her feet and just like she expected… there was another letter.

You just proved everyone right about you. Whore. I cant wait to watch him toss you aside like the disposable trash you are. How does it feel to know you are just another in a long line of places he wants to stick his cock? He wont remember your name in a month when you are long gone. He doesn’t keep his sex toys around the office.

Hannah threw the letter onto the mail table and walked into her bathroom. She stripped out of the clothes that suddenly felt itchy and heavy against her skin. Looking in the mirror, she noticed her vivid purple circles under her eyes had faded a bit. She looked less pale and weak. Then her eyes dipped a bit lower and she saw something odd on her neck. She moved closer to her reflection and a laugh escaped, mingled with a groan swiftly after. A hickey. He had given her a hickey. Like a couple of silly teenagers. Agaisnt her ghostly white skin, the three uneven round spots stood out red and purple splotches that could obviously be nothing other than love bites.

Hannah shook her head, wondering if she had an turtlenecks in her wardrobe. They weren’t exactly in fashion anymore.

--

Elliott woke up cold around four in the morning. He rubbed his eyes absently, wondering why he had fallen asleep with the bed side lamp on. Then the memory came rushing back.

Hannah.

Where was Hannah? She had passed out so deeply on his chest. He had laid awake for almost an hour, absently running his fingers down her body or through her hair as her warm breath steadily spread across his chest.

He sat up, rolling his neck and looked toward the bathroom, expecting to see the door closed and the light on. But it was dark. And he ran his hand over the empty space next to him and found the sheets cold. She had been gone for a while.

The realization hit him, settling hard and hollow in his stomach. Normally he would be ecstatic if he woke up and found the woman he had had sex with gone. It made the whole situation less awkward when both of them knew there would be nothing further between them. But this was different. He felt… offended? Upset?

Elliott walked into the bathroom, leaning over the sink and splashing cool water on his face.

He had wanted her to stay. He wanted her to wake up and while she was still sleepy, he wanted to pull her fully on top of him and thrust himself deep inside of her. She would have been ready. She had been sopping wet before he had even touched her in the source of her heat before. Her desire was overpowering.

He wasn’t used to being with a woman who was so open, with so little self-restraint. She had whimpered and moaned and cried out his name loudly. Her skin was so sensitive, the slightest touch had her shivering and arching for more. And, god, she had been so tight. His cock twitched to life at the memory of her slick opening grabbing him and pulling him inward. He had been right when he thought she was inexperienced. Though not a virgin, he doubted she had more than a few sexual encounters in her life.

It was a surprising realization. To him, she was a beautiful woman. And judging by the way most of the men she walked past looked at her, they thought so as well. With her lovely face, the striking contrast of her dark hair and pale skin, and the curvaceous womanly body… she was most mens ideal.

Though he had noticed her recent weightloss, mostly in the bones sticking out in her collar, ribs, and hips… she still had large, full breasts and wide-set hips. Even her ass was plump and round.

He wanted to see her healthy again. He wanted to see her after she had fifteen pounds back on, when her stomach was softer and her thighs fuller. He wanted to be able to sink his fingers into her skin without having to feel her bones.

He turned on the shower, the water falling cool as he stepped under the spray. He would have her that way. He didn’t care what it would take, but he was going to take her into his bed as often as possible. He was going to get to know every inch of her, use her desire until her body was spent.

His hand slid down his body, reaching for his cock that was standing out hard again. He grasped it tightly in his palm, his other hand resting against the cool tile shower. He stroked his hot, hard cock in a punishing slow pace thinking of Hannah’s fingers rubbing over his sensitive tip and down his shaft. The cool water washed down him as he pulled himself faster, harder, until he was straining for breath. He thought of her tight pussy spasming around his cock, pulling him impossibly tighter as she reached her orgasm. Elliott cursed loudly, slamming his hand against the wall as his cock twitched and the cum came rushing out of him, wave after wave. His legs felt weighted as he stood under the water, recovering his breath.

Hell, if the memory of sex with her could cause such an intense orgasm, he knew he needed her again.

He needed her on all fours so he could tug her hair as she came. He needed her on her knees, his cock buried deep inside her mouth. He needed her riding him with her unabashed desire. He needed her pushed up against a wall, her legs around his waist as he pounded inside her with every bit of force he possessed.

Elliott sighed, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around his waist.

Clear-headed, he knew why she left. She hadn’t wanted that to happen. She had no intetion of ever even kissing him again. But she hadn’t objected. She hadn’t so much as tried to pull away. He wouldn’t have had it in him to coax her into it. It felt wrong to use a position of power. No employee would feel safe turning him down. Which was tantamount to rape in his book.

But he knew she didn’t want them to fall into bed. She wanted to retain a professional relationship with him. So when she had woken up, her desire sated, and realized the repercussions of their actions… she had panicked and left.

He couldn’t imagine what she had thought of what happened. He wished he had woken up when she had. He wished he could have pulled her back into bed and taken her again, quickly, slowly before the regret could set in. It bothered him knowing she was feeling regret. It had been an amazing experience for them both and she was wishing it had never happened.

It didn’t matter to her how strong her orgasm was… how it had her trembling for a full ten minutes afterward. How her body had been so overwhelmed that she hadn’t been able to control her tumultuous emotions and she had cried quietly.

Being inexperienced worked against her with understanding that this was no ordinary affair. There was something there. He had had more than his share of women and affairs in his life and nothing had ever felt even close to the intensity he felt with Hannah. They owed it to themselves to explore it to its fullest.

It didn’t have to have repercussions into their work life. She didn’t have to worry about awkwardness or her job security.

But she didn’t know that. She had left before he could reassure her. She had woken up feeling worried about things he couldn’t ease her mind about. He closed his eyes against the realization of how she must have felt about herself, collecting her clothes and sneaking out of his house.

She wasn’t the kind of woman who wouldn’t berrate herself about a lapse in her personal judgement. She kept herself so tightly controlled that this must have been killing her.