What to expect when you're expecting (139 page)

Foods to Bring It On?

Hungry for labor? Ready to do—or eat—anything that might trigger that first real contraction? Though there’s no science backing them up, plenty of old wives (or old friends) will tell you about a last supper that ended with a trip down labor lane. Among the often heard: If your stomach can take the heat, dip into something spicy. Or order something that gets your bowels—and hopefully your uterus—in an uproar (a crate of bran muffins, chased down by a bucket of prune juice, perhaps?). Not in the mood for something so stimulating? Some women swear by eggplant, tomatoes, and balsamic vinegar (not necessarily together); others say pineapple buys a ticket on the Labor Express. Whatever you dig into, remember that unless your baby and your body are ready to take the labor plunge, it’s unlikely that dinner’s going to pull the trigger.

Sounds Like a Plan

How far along in labor should you be before calling your practitioner? Should you call if your water breaks? How can you make contact if the contractions start outside of regular office hours? Should you call first and then head for the hospital or birthing center? Or the other way around?

Don’t wait until labor starts to get the answers to these important questions. Discuss all of these and other labor logistics with your practitioner at your next appointment, and write down all the pertinent info; otherwise, you’ll be sure to forget the instructions once those contractions kick in.

Also, be sure you know the best route to your place of delivery, roughly how long it will take to get there at various times of the day, and what kind of transportation is available if you don’t have someone to drive you (don’t plan on driving yourself). And if there are other children at home, or an elderly relative, or a pet, be sure you’ve made plans for their care in advance.

Keep a copy of all the above information in the bag you’re likely to be using and in the suitcase you’ve packed, as well as on your refrigerator door or bedside table.

Clearly, there are lots of good reasons why you might want an encouraging entourage in the birthing room with you. Still, there are a few caveats to consider before you issue the invites: You’ll have to get the medical- powers-that-be to sign off on your guest list (not all practitioners are mob friendly, and some hospitals cap the number of guests you’re allowed). You’ll also have to be sure your spouse is on board with the guest list (remember, even though you’ll be doing most of the work, both of you are co-hosting the party, and he won’t want to be relegated to B-list). Think about, too, whether you’ll really be comfortable with so many eyes on you during a very private moment (there will be moaning, grunting, peeing, probably a little pooping—and you will be half-naked). Something else to ponder: Will those you’ve invited (your brother, your father-in-law, for example) be comfortable with what you’re inviting them to view—and might their discomfort put you on edge when you most need to be relaxed? Will you want everyone standing around chatting when you’re craving peace and quiet (and rest)? Will you feel obligated to entertain your guests when you need to be focused on birthing your baby?

If you decide you’d like the company, just remember to put flexibility on the list, too. Remember (and remind your guests) that there’s always the possibility your intended uneventful vaginal birth may turn into an unexpected C-section, in which case only the expectant dad will be allowed to follow the party into the OR. Or that you’ll decide—say somewhere around
the second hour of pushing—that you’re not up to guests anymore and they might be shown to the door for delivery. (And if you do end up regretting your decision to invite a crowd, don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings by sending the guests packing; as a woman in labor, your feelings are the only ones that matter.)

Not feeling like inviting a crowd? Don’t let trends—or pushy relatives—guilt you into a full birthing room. What feels right for you and your spouse is the right decision.

“I had a 30-hour labor my first time around and finally delivered after three hours of pushing. Though we both came out of it fine, I dread going through that again.”

Anyone brave enough to go back into the ring after such a challenging first round deserves a break. And chances are good that you’ll get one. Of course, though the odds of an easier childbirth are significantly improved the second time around, there are no sure bets in labor and delivery rooms. Your baby’s position or other factors may alter these odds. Short of a crystal ball, there’s no way to predict precisely what will happen this time around.

But second and subsequent labors and deliveries are usually easier and shorter than first ones—often dramatically so. Less resistance will be met from your now-roomier birth canal and your laxer muscles, and though the process won’t be effortless—it rarely is—it probably will seem like less of an ordeal. The most marked difference may be in the amount of pushing you have to do; second babies often pop out in a matter of minutes rather than hours.

“Now that the baby’s almost here, I’m beginning to worry about how I’m going to take care of her. I’ve never even held a newborn before.”

Most women aren’t born mothers—any more than men are born fathers—instinctively knowing how to soothe a crying baby, change a diaper, or give a bath. Motherhood—parenthood, for that matter—is a learned art, one that requires plenty of practice to make perfect (or actually, near-perfect—since there’s no such thing as a perfect parent).

Time was, women routinely practiced on other people’s babies, caring for younger siblings or other infants in the family or the neighborhood, before they had their own. These days, though, many women—just like you—have never held a newborn until they hold their own. Their training for motherhood comes on the job, with a little help from parenting books, magazines, and websites, and, if they’re lucky enough to find one locally, from a baby-care class. Which means that for the first week or two—and often much longer—a new mom can feel out of her element as the baby does more crying than sleeping, the diapers leak, and many tears are shed over the “no-tears” shampoo (on both sides of the bottle).

Slowly but surely—one dirty diaper, one marathon feeding session, one sleepless night at a time—every new mom (even the greenest) begins to feel like an old pro. Trepidation turns to assurance. The baby she was afraid to hold (won’t it break?) is now cradled casually in her left arm while her right pays bills online or pushes the vacuum cleaner. She can dispense vitamin drops, give baths, and slip squirming arms and legs into onesies in her sleep—literally, sometimes. As she hits her maternal stride and settles into
a somewhat predictable rhythm, parenting an infant becomes second nature. She starts to feel like the mom she is, and—difficult though it may be to imagine right now—you will, too.

Though nothing can make those first learning process before your newborn is placed in your arms (and in your round-the-clock care) can make them seem a little less overwhelming. Any of the following can help moms- (and dads-) to-be ease into their new roles: visiting a recent arrivals; holding, diapering, and soothing a friend’s or family member’s infant; reading up on a baby’s first year; visiting first-year websites and message boards (no one can teach you more about being a mom than another mom; check out whattoexpect.com) and watching a newborn nursery and viewing the mostdays with a first baby a cinch, starting the DVD or taking a class in baby care (and baby CPR). For even more reassurance, talk to friends who have recently become parents. You’ll be relieved to know that just about everybody comes into the job with the same new-mom (or new-dad) jitters.

What to Take to the Hospital or Birthing Center

Though you could show up with just your belly and your insurance card, traveling that empty-handed to the hospital or birthing center probably isn’t the best idea. Traveling light, however, is (no need to lug a huge suitcase along with that big belly), so pack only what you think you’ll really use or need. Be sure to pack that bag early (so you won’t be turning the house upside down for your iPod when the contractions are coming five minutes apart) with as many—or as few—of the following as you’d like:

For the Labor or Birthing Room

This book and
The What to Expect Pregnancy Journal and Organizer,
which has ample room for labor-and-delivery and meet-the-baby note keeping. A pen and pad may also be useful for jotting down questions and answers on procedures and on your condition and your baby’s; instructions for when you go home; and the names of staff members who have taken care of you.

Several copies of your birth plan, if you’re using one (see
page 294
).

A watch with a second hand for timing contractions. Better yet, make sure your coach is wearing one at all times during the last few weeks of your pregnancy.

An MP3 player, iPod, or CD player, along with some of your favorite tunes, if music soothes and relaxes you.

A camera and/or video equipment, if you don’t trust your memory to capture the moment (and if the hospital or birthing center rules allow media coverage of births—most do). Don’t forget extra batteries and/or chargers.