What to expect when you're expecting (74 page)

Speak up. Not only are you only human, but you’re human and pregnant. Which means you can’t do it all and do it all well—especially if you feel crappy, as you will sometimes feel. If you can barely lift your head off your pillow (or leave the bathroom for more than five minutes) and you’ve got a pile of stuff on your desk or a major deadline looming, don’t panic. Tell your boss you need extra time or extra help. And don’t beat yourself up—or let anyone else beat you up. You’re not lazy or incompetent, you’re pregnant.

Put together a plan.
Efficiency is always appreciated on the job, and being prepared invariably impresses people. So before you go in to make your announcement, prepare a detailed plan that includes how long you plan to stay on the job (barring any unforeseen medical problems), how long your maternity leave will be, how you plan to finish up business before you leave, and how you propose that any unfinished business be handled by others. If you would like to return part-time at first, propose that now. Writing up your plan will ensure you won’t forget the details, plus it’ll score you extra efficiency points.

Set aside the time.
Don’t try to tell your boss the news when you’re in a taxi on the way to a meeting or when he or she’s got one foot out the door Friday night. Make an appointment to meet, so no one will be rushed or distracted. Try to make it on a day and at a time that is usually less stressful at your office. Postpone the meeting if things suddenly take a turn for the tense.

Accentuate the positive.
Don’t start your announcement with apologies or misgivings. Instead, let your boss know that you are not only happy about your pregnancy but confident in your ability and committed in your plan to mix work and family.

Be flexible (but not spineless).
Have your plan in place, and open it up to discussion. Then be ready to compromise (make sure there is room for negotiation built into your plan) but not to back down completely. Come up with a realistic bottom line and stick with it.

Set it in writing.
Once you’ve worked out the details of your pregnancy protocol and your maternity leave, confirm it in writing so there won’t be any confusion or misunderstanding later (as in “I never said that …”).

Never underestimate the power of parents.
If your company is not as family friendly as you’d like, consider joining forces to petition for better parental perks. Realize, however, that you and other parents may be met with hostility by childless employees; as family policies become more generous, resentment tends to build among those who can’t take advantage of them. Making sure that similar allowances are made for employees who must take time off to care for sick spouses or parents may help unite, rather than divide, the company.

Between nausea and fatigue, backaches and headaches, puffy ankles and a leaky bladder, it’s hard for any expectant mom to have a completely comfortable day. Put her at a desk or on her swollen feet or at a job that requires bending or lifting and you’ve got a recipe for even more pregnancy discomfort. To stay as comfortable as possible on the job when you’re expecting, try these tips:

Dress for success and comfort. Avoid tight, restrictive clothing, socks or knee-highs that cut off circulation, as well as heels that are too high or too flat (wide 2-inch heels are best). Wearing support hose designed for pregnancy will help ward off or minimize a variety of symptoms, from
swelling to varicose veins, and may be especially important if you’re spending a lot of the day on your feet.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

If you spend your day (and maybe your nights, too) tap-tap-tapping on a keyboard, you may already be familiar with the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). A well-known worker’s malady, CTS causes pain, tingling, and numbness in the hands and most often strikes those who spend a lot of time doing repetitive tasks (typing, punching numbers, working a PDA). What you might not know, however, is that CTS affects the majority of pregnant women. Even moms-to-be who never touch a computer keyboard are prone to it, thanks to swollen tissue in the body that presses on nerves. The good news is that carpal tunnel syndrome is not dangerous—just uncomfortable, especially on the job. Even better, you can try a number of remedies until you see the light at the end of the carpal tunnel:

Raise your office chair so your wrists are straight and your hands are lower than your elbows as you type.

Switch to a wrist-friendly ergonomic keyboard (one that has a wrist rest) as well as a mouse that offers wrist support.

Wear a wrist brace while typing.

Take frequent breaks from the computer.

Use a speakerphone or headset if you’re on the phone a lot.

In the evenings, soak your hands in cool water to reduce any swelling.

Ask your practitioner about other possible remedies, including vitamin B
6
supplements, acupuncture, or pain relievers.

Watch the weather—inside you. No matter the climate in your city (or your office), when you’re pregnant, the forecast is for wildly swinging body temperatures. Sweating one minute and chilly the next, you’ll want to favor the layered look—and have a layer ready for every possible condition. Thinking of bundling up in a wool turtleneck to brave a 12°F day? Don’t do it unless you’ve got a lightweight layer underneath that you can strip down to when a hormone-driven heat wave starts burning inside. And even if you’re usually toasty in just a tee, stash a sweater in your drawer or locker. Your body temp goes both ways fast these days.