When Its Least Expected (20 page)

“Mase, look, what you said on Monday night, it wasn’t cool. It was just mea, but part
of

it was true too. I did lead you on, partially that is, and for that, I’m sorry.” He
held up a hand to most likely stop her, but she shook her head, staring down at her
lap again. She was determined to get the words off her tongue, otherwise she’d chicken
out. “I’ve got issues, Mason. Issues that you can’t even
begin
to imagine or maybe even understand. They are mainly due to something that happened
two years ago. Some of it … I just can’t help either…”

Harley finally braved another look at him, cringing as he stared down at her with
a

dumbfounded stare. She swallowed her fears and her insecurities; this had to be done.

“What is it? I know about your brother and all, but what could have happened that’s

worse than that?”

Harley sighed as dread pooled in her stomach. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about this

since the day she sat grieving next to his coffin. “When I was fifteen years old,
I was always considered the quiet and skinny sophomore dork. I only spoke to two people
in the whole school, my brother and Abigail. Then Aiden moved to town from Alma, a
city not too far south from

here. He was seventeen, and I, uh, fell for him … right away. He fell for me too even
though he could have any girl he wanted.” Harley shook her head, still in disbelief
at the memory even after all this time had passed. “He and David became good friends
because they both played football and stuff. That was actually how I met him. We kind
of hit it off and started a pretty serious relationship.” She stopped, glancing up
under her lashes at Mason, curious to see what emotions were playing across his face.
His jaw was flexing back and forth, but other than that, his face was blasé. “But
five months after we started dating, I began to notice subtle changes in his behavior
and personality. Anger, isolation, and hatred towards people he claimed to love, especially
me. It was the strangest thing because he’d always been so happy. It was like his
body had become

possessed by something evil, something foreign.”

She shivered at the memories that still plagued her. The wicked things he used to
say to

her and the times she was scared for her life at his outbursts. Those were not the
memories she wanted to hold onto, but they wouldn’t detach themselves from her heart,
no matter how much she tried to push them away.

“Then he missed three weeks of school, and nobody heard from him until the day he

came back, not even me, his own girlfriend. He was this completely different person,
an even sweeter version of the guy I fell for.” Harley closed her eyes. Visions of
Aiden, all decked out in his handsome button down polo, his eyes reflecting the same
grey as the locker he’d kissed her good morning against. She shivered.

He had picked her up, hugged her, and swung her around in an obscenely huge circle.
He

seemed so normal again, even happier than before. Harley thought things were going
to be okay after that, until about a month later...

“I remember the night it all changed again. We were out together at a friend’s house

watching movies. He was tense, and he became angry again out of nowhere. He refused
to talk to me about it, and he finally made me, the fifteen year old without a learner’s
permit, drive him home.”

Harley took a deep, cleansing breath. This was the part she hated to remember. “I
didn’t

hesitate to do what he asked. I was a fifteen year old girl in love! I would have
walked on fire for him if he had asked.”

“Hey, little beast, you don’t have to do this…” Mason brushed away a lone tear that
had

snuck down her face before pulling her closer. This time she let him, marveling in
his strength, his security, his comfort.

“Yeah … I do.” He nodded, tucking her head under his chin. It was like he knew what

she needed. She exhaled one last shaky breath. “I don’t remember much after that;
it all just sort of blurs together. I know I got us home, I know I asked him if he
needed David to drive him home, and I know he got angry at me for me asking. Then
he switched gears again, and he

grabbed my hand, told me he’d love me forever, and kissed me. I got out of the car.
I didn’t second guess him. I did what he asked, and then I left.”

“Oh, little beast, tell me he didn’t…” Mason tightened his hold on her.

“He did. That night he took a gun from his dad’s hunting cabinet and shot himself

in the head.”

She was lifeless as a silence hung between them. She was vaguely aware that Mason’s

lips were covering her head with soft, gentle kisses. She barely noticed his hand
brushing down her cheek, a move that should have made her feel cherished instead of
empty.

“I found out an hour later when his mom called me, sobbing from the hospital. I barely

understood anything she was saying because she was so hysterical, but I heard enough.
I

remember screaming out this low, moaning noise that that my dad had described as a
dying

animal’s last words.”

The crazy, worried voices of her parents still rang out in her ear from that night.
She

hadn’t been able to answer them because she didn’t know how to stop crying. Finally
her dad had picked her up and put her in bed. She could still envision the horror
in David’s eyes as he came running into the room a couple of minutes later. Someone
must have called to tell him, seeing as how close he and Josh had been because he
was crying too.

“Harley. God, baby, I don’t know what to say. If I would have known about him … and

this … then … ugh, I’m such an ass! I’m so,
so
sorry, little beast.” She leaned back and laid her head on his shoulder, looking
up at Mason from her newest perch. Genuine sympathy poured

through him, and for once, she accepted it.

“You wouldn’t have known, Mason. Hell, nobody but my family and Abigail understood

what really happened that night.” Harley shrugged in defeat, snuggling deeper into
his shoulder and chest. “Most people believe it was an accident. At least that’s what
his mom tried to play it off as. He was always messing around with guns and targets
like his dad, so it worked, I guess. I know people found out, and I knew they said
bad things about him too…”

“Did you ever find out why he did it, Harley? There is always a reason when people
…

you know…” She nodded.

Yeah, she knew…

“Apparently he’d been suffering from a severe bi-polar disorder for years and then
went

off his meds because he couldn’t handle the side effects. Nobody even knew about his
illness until I overheard his mom mentioning something about it at the funeral to
his grandma. It was like a punch in the face, Mason! I felt like I never even knew
who he was.” She shook her head as defeat and anger still pummeled her in the chest.

“I could have helped him get better, I know I could have, but nobody bothered to tell
me.

Aiden
didn’t care enough to tell me.” Her hands shook as she pressed them against her lips.
Her heart clenched so tightly inside her chest that she swore up and down it was going
to shatter. She was freaking out again, another panic attack, and she was more than
positive that Mason would leave her. Good.

His warm hands surprised her by pulling her closer. She sighed. She let him. Harley
felt

instantly lighter, like a weight of pain had been lifted from her shoulders. It couldn’t
be possible that the unlikely boy sitting next to her could somehow still be able
to weave his way into her heart, could it? Worse yet, she wanted him there too. She
shouldn’t, not after his recent behavior, not after his cruel words. They were too
reminiscent of the past, but that tiny part of her that didn’t know any better, the
part that ate up any and all goodness from people, was dangerously close to falling
over the edge for him. She needed to get a grip on her emotions because falling in
love with Mason Daniel could not be in her foreseeable future.

* * *

trust especially after my super dick-headed behavior.” Harley frowned up at him, cupping
his cheek with her cold hand. He sucked in air through his gritted teeth unsure of
her affection, but at the same time needing it too. Her touch was like fire to his
ice cold skin, and he was okay with the idea of burning to death, as long as she was
the flame.

“Don’t say those things, Mason. You’re a good guy, even if you do have a tendency
to

piss me off sometimes,” she giggled through her final tears, mock punching his stomach.

As she pulled away, a need took over his body. It was a need to touch her, to feel
her

hand in his again. As he interlocked her hand with his own, her chocolate gaze stared
up at him in wonderment.

Damn, she was so beautiful.

“Fine,” he whispered, pulling her back against his chest. “I’ll stop, but you need
to

understand something here. Whenever I’m around you, I feel unworthy.” She started
to protest and sit up, but Mason shook his head and silenced her by holding her in
place. She needed to hear this. “Let me finish before you yell at me again, alright,
little beast? You have quite an issue with interrupting.” Her eyes softened as he
stared down at her. Her head had somehow become perched upon his shoulder. He shuddered
as her breath blew across his neck and as her eyes

stared up at him, but for once, she did as he asked, keeping any and all of her retorts
to herself.

“You’re an absolutely amazing girl with your strength, your humor, your ability to
love

everyone around you no matter what they do or say. Then there’s me, the selfish bastard
whose greatest quality in life is to enlighten people with my sarcasm.” He sighed,
letting her slip from his arms as he leaned forward against his knees. He wanted to
be close to her, but she wouldn’t want to when she heard what he had to say.

“I’m hurtful to the people I’m supposed to care about, and they suffer from my idiocy.

The truth is, I’ve never actually cared that I act this way, at least until I met
you.”

“Mason, stop … please,” she quietly begged, curling her knees up under her chin on
the

swing. He reached over and squeezed her hand in reassurance. She relaxed but still
looked

uneasy. It was only the beginning. She hadn’t heard anything yet.

He’d been resisting telling her his secrets, but she needed to know why he was such
an

ass all the time. That way she could finally get the courage to walk away, something
he could no longer do himself.

“I’m not a perfect guy, little beast. I’ve done things and said things that I’m ashamed
of,”

he looked away and sighed, rubbing his hand down the front of his face as he stood.
Harley had so much pain as it was. Did she really need to witness his pain too?

He leaned up against the railings of the porch, looking out onto the quiet, country
road in front of her house. Seconds later she was behind him, her hands braced against
his shoulder blades, and he felt the warmth of her cheek press against his back even
through the material of his shirt.

“I’m here, Mason. You can trust me with your secrets.” He turned back to face her,
rage

taking hold as he grabbed her wrists and held them down at her sides. He was ready
to yell at her, to scream and tell her that she didn’t want to know his secrets, but
her serene face and parted lips distracted him from his anger.

Yeah, okay, maybe he could do this after all…

“It was almost seven months ago when it all went down,” he swallowed and turned his

face away, but this time, she interlocked his hand with her own. He selfishly sucked
in her strength through her touch. “My dad had decided that we were going to get up
early on a

Saturday and hit our favorite spot for waves in Santa Cruz. It’s called Paradise Point
and we’d been going there since my dad first placed a long board in my hands when
I was five. He

checked the swell report that day and everything was looking good for perfect morning
waves.”

Mason rolled his shoulders back and forth, an attempt to ease the growing knot in
his

neck. He was relinquishing all of his vulnerability by telling Harley this, like she
had done for him.

It was the hardest damn thing he’d ever done.

“When we got out of the car, I looked over at my dad, and I saw how pale his skin
had

become. He kept telling me that he had heartburn or something and that he didn’t think
he was up for the waves after all, but I was a spoiled jack ass. I kept pushing and
pushing him. I called him a pansy and an old man, but he wasn’t, you know? He was
only forty, and he was super

athletic, with more muscles than I have. He ate like a damn bird – fruits, veggies,
chicken. The guy never ate red meat for shits sake.” Mason laughed dryly, running
a hand through his thick hair. The memory was still too fresh. It’d be a miracle if
he could get through this without crying like a wussy.

“But we always had this easy ability to joke with one another like that. He said crap
to

me, I gave it back. Hell, he was a bigger smart as then I am.”

“I know how that is, Mase. David and I share the same thing with each other.” Harley’s

smile was all he needed to calm his inner demons. She had a gift that he was never
going to want to share with anyone. He shook his head at the insane thought and grabbed
her other hand,

holding them both tightly against his chest. She was inches from him, and her strawberry
smell was intoxicating. He wanted to nuzzle his nose against her neck. He wanted to
lock that smell into his senses forever, but he held back. He wasn’t done with his
story yet. She might want to run away still after he told her.