When Joss Met Matt (7 page)

When I was confident we were out of earshot, I whispered, “That was awesome! I'm so proud of you!”

“Thanks.”

“Are you really this cool, or was that just a case of right place, right time?”

“Obviously, I'm really this cool.” He glanced at me to see if I was buying that. I wasn't. “Okay, fine. I'm sweating fuckin' bullets.”

“Well, I think you should send your deodorant company a letter of appreciation, because you, my friend, look calm, cool, and collected.”

He laughed. “I'll have my assistant draft something.”

That night I was sucked into a riveting game of Candy Crush when my phone rang, and totally ruined my score. I scowled at the picture displayed on the caller ID before answering.

“I was about to beat level 235, Matt!”

“You've got to quit that game.”

I huffed out a sigh. “What's up?”

“Um … I … I need to see you. Could you come down to my room?”

Electricity sparkled down my back, and my frustration was instantly gone. I was pretty sure I knew what he wanted. “Can you give me a few minutes?” I asked.

“Okay.” He took a few experimental breaths. “Chris is gone tonight.”

“Oh.” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. “Okay.”

“I'll see you in a bit.”

“Bye.”

I tossed my phone on the bed and grabbed my shower caddy. If Matt intended to collect on my Sorbet offer, I intended to deliver something worthwhile.

My preparations took about twenty minutes, and then I had to make a wardrobe decision.

Rachel had retired to her loft for one of her marathon phone calls to the long-distance boyfriend and paid no attention while I sorted through my underwear. I'd always had a love of pretty underwear. It's the girliest thing about me by far. My collection wasn't huge or well funded at nineteen, but I took some time picking out some choice pieces. What I wore over my lingerie didn't matter so much to me, as long as I had something silky or lacy underneath, like a superhero costume waiting for the big reveal.

“Good night, Rach,” I said as I opened the door.

“What?” She glanced at me. “Oh … bye.”

“You'll probably be asleep when I get back.”

“Okay.” She waved distractedly and I closed the door.

Taking a deep breath, I passed through the varied clouds of noise and air pollution that marked the hall of my dorm as I headed for the stairs.

On the first floor, I retraced my steps until I was at Matt's door. It wasn't latched, so I gave it a gentle push.

“Matt?” I asked.

“Hey, Joss. Come in.” He was sitting at his desk.

“Should I close the door?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Okay.” I leaned against the door until it clicked and reached back to throw the lock. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah.” He stood and came into the center of the room.

“What's up?” I took a few steps closer.

“I got a ‘fuck you' email from Courtney.”

“Are you serious? Who the hell does she think she is?” I demanded.

He smiled slowly. “I was hoping you'd say that.”

“Well seriously, Matt, what did you think I'd say?”

“What is it you call her?”

“Her Highness?” I asked.

“That's it …” He nodded. “What a bitch.”

“Did you want to show me the email?” I took another few steps.

He sighed. “No, I think you got the take-home message from my description.”

I couldn't restrain making a sympathetic face.

“So. Does … the offer still stand?” he asked, closing the last few feet between us.

With a smile, I assured him, “Absolutely.” I stood on tiptoe to kiss him, resting my fingertips lightly on his shoulders for balance. He grasped my hips and pulled me closer, making me stumble a bit in surprise. His greater size prevented me from doing anything but falling into him, which seemed just fine by his way of thinking, judging by the way he hiked me halfway up his body. I hooked one leg around his waist and did my best to hold on.

My body responded quickly—there was undeniable thrill in knowing I wouldn't have to decide how far to let things get. I wound my arms around Matt's neck and kissed him hard. He made an awkward move toward the futon, and I broke away.

“Isn't that Chris's?”

“The sheets are clean,” was all he said.

“Okay, good.” I went back to his mouth, loving the feel of his lips and tongue against mine. He was still a really good kisser, even with my larger sample size to compare it to now, and I intended to take advantage of that.

He sat on the futon, taking me down with him and knocking our teeth together.

“Ow!” I gasped and checked my lip for blood.

“Oh, sorry, you okay?”

I silenced further questions with my mouth and he seemed to take that as a good enough answer. We fell back on the mattress and I used my feet to pry off my shoes. They hit the floor with a slap, and I drew my knees up to sit back for a moment. I peeled off my sweater and went back for the shirt beneath.

“You want me to turn off the lights?” Matt asked.

“No, fuck it,” I mumbled as I yanked my shirt off. I full-on wanted him, and I didn't care about the ambience.

He laughed, but spread his hands over my bared stomach and ran his thumbs along the lace of my bra. “Nice.”

“Thanks.” I was glad I'd taken the time to choose carefully.

It was a team effort to take off the rest of our Wisconsin winter layers, but we got it done, and then we were under a sheet together. Matt's hands roamed over my body with enthusiasm while I kept my efforts focused on his mouth. I have always loved kissing, and it was what I missed most about having a steady relationship. I'd collected a lot of kisses since my breakup with Ben, but no one kissed like Matt. I was going to get my fill if I had anything to say about it.

“You're never still, are you?” Matt murmured when I rubbed one foot down his shin.

“Why would I be still?” I asked with a smile. Quite frankly, I was enjoying the hell out of myself.

“No reason.” He shifted me until we were facing each other and slipped a hand down between us. My breath caught when he touched just the right spot and I shifted closer.

“You don't have to …” I said, even as my movements were insisting that he most certainly did. “This is for you.”

“Uh-uh, both of us get something out of this. It's in the rules.”

“Mmm …” It was getting hard to focus, but I made the effort. “Have your assistant get me an updated copy.”

“I'll send out a memo.”

I couldn't speak anymore at that point, although my mouth continued to move as I gasped for breath. With my last ounce of control, I grasped his wrist and opened my eyes. To my complete embarrassment, he was grinning at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and said, “Please. Now.”

“But—” He started to protest, but I dug my fingers into his shoulder. “Okay. Hang on.”

“Hurry.”

I dragged him close with every limb I could spare. He pressed into me and we both moaned at the contact, which then made both of us laugh.

“Sorry, it's been a while,” I said.

“For me, too.” He pressed an openmouthed kiss to my jaw.

“What about Her Highness?”

“A while since anything good,” he amended and I felt an unexpected thrill of victory. I celebrated by shifting to the top and pulling my knees up to bracket his ribs.

It wasn't long after that. He was sweating by the time I was done with him, and I only hesitated for a moment before stretching out on top of him. “Is that okay?” I asked. “Am I too heavy?”

“Don't be such a girl,” he admonished.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You're not too heavy for anyone over the age of twelve.”

“Are we going back to the harassment part of the deal already?”

“Yes.” Matt pulled me in by the back of my neck and kissed me.

“I thought this part stopped when the harassment started,” I said, running one fingertip across his lips.

“This doesn't stop until you have your clothes back on.”

“But the harassment starts immediately?”

“Now you've got it.” He grunted as we separated.

“This is quite a complicated contract I signed.”

He slipped out of bed and stepped into his boxers. “Yeah. I probably would have read it more thoroughly if I were you.”

I sat up, covering myself with the sheet. “I'll have my lawyer review any future contracts you offer me.”

“Smart move.” He pulled on a T-shirt. “I'll be back in a minute. Don't go anywhere.”

I smiled. “I'm contractually obligated not to.”

“Oh, that's right …” He sounded downright delighted.

We spent the night together, talking about everything and nothing. It was barely ten o'clock, unlike on Halloween, and we weren't exhausted. It was nice to just hang out together. I put one of Matt's T-shirts on, but kept my pants off to keep my window for kisses open. I knew it was a silly formality, but I kind of loved that. Our arrangement depended on observing the rules, and without them, we wouldn't be able to function as friends after tonight. Too messy.

In the morning, I had to go back to my room to get my coat and backpack for my first class.

“Hang on a second,” Matt said, bending over his desk.

“What?”

He held up a finger and continued scribbling. At last, he handed me the very wrinkled loose-leaf paper that contained the
Rules for Sorbet Sex
. He'd made a few additions:

“What's with the last rule?” I raised one eyebrow.

He shrugged. “I thought it was funny.”

“Fair enough.”

He slid one arm around my waist and gave me a friendly kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Thanks, Joss.”

“Anytime.”

Chapter Ten

Now

I ran a last-minute check through the house, knowing I wouldn't be back until morning. Dewey was happy to get an extra-large serving of food, but after a moment's introspection, gave me a baleful look. He knew what the super-size dinner meant—he'd be on his own tonight.

“Sorry, puss,” I said, stooping down to scratch him behind the ears. “Matt predates you. It's a seniority thing—you understand.”

He did not.

I went down on all fours and shook my head to make my curls bounce for him. He swatted at one half-heartedly and then turned his back, tail up to show off his butt.

“Gross.”

“Mrow.”

“Have a good night, buddy.”

I threw on my coat and grabbed the huge shoulder bag I was disguising as a purse for the night. It was full of things that were just the other side of forbidden by the silly walk of shame requirement: clean underwear, some toiletries, and my phone charger. My phone would be dead as a doornail if I didn't plug it in at night.

“You're in charge, Dewey. No wild parties,” I called to the empty living room. The cat was conspicuously absent. “Fine. Pout. I'll see you tomorrow.”

I tossed my bag in the car and dug my phone out for a last-minute text to Matt:
On my way. Sure you don't need anything?

I was out of the garage and navigating toward the complex's exit when the reply came.
All set. See you in a few
.

Tuning my phone to a playlist from college, I aimed my car for the freeway. The first song that came on, however, nearly made me run off the road. Well, not the song, but the fact that I had to rush to skip it. It reminded me way too much of an ex-boyfriend who was much better forgotten …

Seven Years Earlier … Second Semester Freshman Year

For a few weeks after the Courtney Sorbet incident, I thought entirely too much about the feel of Matt's lips on mine, and his hands on my body. I knew I needed to find a distraction, because Matt was so clearly not boyfriend material. He was too nice, too even-tempered—he made a great friend, but I liked guys with a little more passion. It was weird that I could be simultaneously proud of Matt for the way he handled Courtney, and know in my heart that I would have wanted him to make some kind of grand gesture to win me back if I were her. That was the real issue—he was completely unromantic. I wanted romance in my life. Hell, Courtney probably wanted it in hers, too, and Matt wasn't that guy. A great guy, yes, but not her guy. Or mine. We weren't meant for each other, and I needed to find someone more my type.

And then I met Alex.

He saw me in my pajamas and my glasses—which I hardly ever wore except when I wanted to see the scrolling headlines on TV at the cafeteria—on a Sunday morning. I should have been repellant. But as we stood waiting for the toaster to free up, he laughed.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I looked up from my bowl of Trix. “Um … taking out all the blue ones?”

“Why?”

Something told me not to be completely honest. “I just don't like them.”

He laughed again. “That's pretty weird. I'm Alex.”

“Jocelyn.”

The guy monopolizing the toaster finished up, and Alex stepped snappily to one side. “Ladies first.”

Right away I wanted to throw my glasses in the nearest trash can and yank my ponytail down. Chivalry makes me want to be the kind of lady who deserves it. “Thank you,” I said, and laid my wheat bread on the metal conveyor.

“Would you like to have breakfast with me?”

That time, I couldn't restrain one hand from flying up to my glasses. So embarrassing. “I, uh, I—”

“Please?” he asked with an adorable puppy-dog face.

“Okay.” I had to give myself an internal pep talk the entire time we were toasting our bread and looking for a seat. I wanted to tell him I'd be right back, run to my room, get dressed and bury my glasses in the quad, but I couldn't figure out how to do that with any subtlety.

It didn't seem to matter to him, though.

Breakfast was just the beginning for Alex and me. We started with study dates at the library. A total pretense, since we weren't in any classes together and he was actually two years ahead of me. Soon it was movies and concerts at the student union, and walks through the arboretum. He had a single room in one of the upperclassmen dorms and the privacy felt like heaven.

By the time summer break arrived, I didn't want to go home.

On the last day the cafeteria was open, one of the R.A.s came through the hall looking for anyone who wanted to go to the cafeteria. She had a ton of money left on her food card and wanted to use it up. I was in Matt's room at the time, ripping one of his CDs onto my computer. We decided to take her offer.

“So, are you coming up to the cottage or what?” he asked as we trailed the dozen or so people headed for the cafeteria. Matt's parents had a timeshare in a resort town on Lake Michigan. Matt was organizing a trip up there for July Fourth and I hadn't given him a solid answer yet.

“Um …”

“Oh, come on, I'm sure Darcy will let you take a Friday off. She's your sister.”

“That won't be a problem. It's just—” I pinched my lips shut.

“Alex,” he finished the sentence for me, jaw set forward.

We did not see eye to eye on my boyfriend. “He just worries.”

“About what?” Matt spread his hands to indicate himself, me, the general area—I wasn't sure what he meant to include in his assessment.

“Well, he can't be there. Can you blame him for wondering what might happen?”

“Yes.”

“Matt—”

He put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, whatever you need to do … The invitation stands, okay? It's gonna be fun. Everybody's coming.”

“Jocelyn!” Alex's voice caught my attention from across the quad.

“Speak of the devil …” Matt muttered.

“Stop,” I said, giving him a sour look.

Alex jogged the short distance between us and slipped his arm around my waist. “Hey, pumpkin.” Then, he spared a nod for Matt. “Hey, man.”

Matt nodded back. “I was just telling Joss she really should try to come up to my parents' place for the Fourth of July. It's gonna be a lot of fun.”

Alex's hand tightened on my waist. We'd officially dropped away from the group of people going for food. “Yeah, she told me about that. I wish we could make it.” He tugged me close and kissed my temple. “I was trying to call you, Jocelyn.”

“Sorry.”

“Good thing I know where to find you.” He laughed a little.

“Hmm. I guess I'll see you later, Joss.” Matt waved and took a few steps before he turned and looked at me again. “Please try, it'll be fun.”

“I'll try,” I said.

He turned again and Alex rubbed my lower back as we watched him walk away. “You're not really thinking of going, are you?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don't know. It would be really nice. A lot of my friends are going.”

“But you know I have to stay in Madison for classes this summer, pumpkin.” He made the puppy-dog face I always found adorable. “It's already going to be awful to be away from you so much. You wouldn't want to go without me, right?”

“Well, no …” I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Couldn't you come home just for the holiday? We could go up together.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “I'm sure we could come up with better things to do for the holiday.”

“It'll be a lot of fun. Matt says his parents' place is great.”

Alex looked in the direction of the cafeteria. “That guy wants to get in your pants so bad he can taste it.” He frowned. “I just don't like the way he looks at you.”

Guilt clutched in my gut. I had never, and obviously could never, tell Alex about Matt being my Sorbet Guy. “It's not like that. Matt's my friend.”

Alex's frown deepened, then he let out a breath and wrapped me in his arms. “Can you blame me for wanting to keep you all to myself? You're so beautiful. Who wouldn't want you?”

I let the pleasure shiver through me, even as a small part of me answered him in silence,
Anyone but you?
He adored me, and seemed to have no idea that I was just … me. “You're so sweet,” I said.

He kissed my forehead again. “So, what were you doing? I called your phone three times before I finally came to look for you.”

I'd left it in my room, actually, but I knew I had to lie. “I was helping Jessie with her loft. I didn't hear it ring.”

He smiled. “I wish you weren't going home this summer. I hate not knowing where you are, what you're doing …”

“I'll be locked up like Rapunzel in my parents' house, no worries. Just washing dogs and hanging out with my high school friends, I'm sure.”

“And coming up here to see me. Every weekend. Because you can't bear to be away from me.”

I laughed. “Right. And that. Aren't you going to come visit me at all?”

“You really want me to take the bus? You can just drive up here.”

“No, you're right. I should.”

“That's my girl.” He smiled. “Now, I have an idea. What do you say I take my gorgeous girlfriend down to the Union and get something better to eat than this cafeteria crap?”

“I say okay.” I smiled and he squeezed me with a deep sigh of contentment. I didn't want to go home either. I wanted to stay with Alex. He made me feel like a rare diamond, and I loved that he thought I was a grand prize he'd won. He was so convinced that every guy I knew wanted to steal me away from him. I knew he was dead wrong, but that was part of what made it so endearing. He reminded me of Ben with his protectiveness, except, you know, not a cheating asshole.

Jessie and I drove up to Door County together for the holiday. She'd come through Milwaukee on her way up from Illinois, and we were both delighted not to make the trek alone. Three hours, ending in a feverish search for small, unmarked roads, was not something to take on solo.

“I just cannot believe this is the same lake that I've seen down in Chicago,” Jessie said, face pressed to the passenger window.

“Well, it is,” I said. “And it's the same lake over in Michigan and all the way up to the Upper Peninsula.”

Jessie stuck her tongue out at me, but grinned. She hadn't stopped marveling at the lake since it had come into view.

“I'm so glad you're here!” she squealed. “It would have sucked to drive up here alone!”

“I just wish Alex was coming.”

“You see him all the time, this will be good for you.”

“Weekends are not all the time.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. He's the one being a dork about this.”

I kept my mouth shut. I was pretty mad at Alex myself, but I didn't want to talk about it. Saying it out loud would mean admitting that, and for reasons I couldn't fully explain, I didn't want to admit anything was wrong with my relationship with Alex. There were sides to be taken, and being surrounded by friends who would gladly take mine made it harder to remember that Alex was sweet, adoring, and wonderful. He was really stressed out by his summer classes was all. And being apart was harder than we'd expected. I was sure he hadn't meant to upset me. He probably didn't even realize I was upset.

Not that he'd know—he was going camping for the holiday with “some buddies.” He wanted me to promise not to go up to Matt's place even though he was gone, but I'd sidestepped the issue. He thought I wasn't going, and I knew I was. We'd deal with it when he was back in range of a cell tower.

“So, um, does Matt have a girl coming up for the weekend?” Jessie asked.

I laughed. “Besides you, me, Geena, and Annemarie, you mean?”

“Yeah.” She leaned forward and turned the volume on the radio down to almost nothing. “Like, is he seeing anyone?”

“Oh. Not that I know of. He wasn't seeing anyone last time I talked to him.”

“Hm.”

Her efforts to sound disinterested were pathetic. “Are you into Matt?” I asked.

“No, I—” she gasped. “He just—he's just really nice is all, and I thought—”

My foot eased up on the gas and the car slowed.

“What? What did I say?”

“Jess.…” What the hell was I going to tell her? The truth? Something completely made up that would put her off the trail?

“You think it's a bad idea, don't you?” she asked.

“It's not that—”

“Does he not like me? Did he say something?”

“No! Of course not.” I forced myself to bring the car back up to the speed limit. “I, um … it's just that I kind of …”

“
You
don't like him, do you?” she asked. “You're with Alex!”

“I know that! God! And Alex is madly in love with me, and we are perfectly happy together, by the way—”

She snorted.

“I slept with him.”

“No shit.”

“Not Alex. Matt.”

“What?”
she shrieked.

I ended up telling her everything, leaving out the irrelevant details, like the fact that he was still the best kisser I'd ever encountered. When I was done, all she wanted to know was, “Does Alex know?”

“Do you think I'm insane?” I demanded.

“God.” She slipped one sandal off and propped her foot on the dashboard. “Well, never mind
that
plan.”

“Sorry.”

She shrugged. “Hey, it's not your fault you got there first.”

“I didn't know you were interested in him.”

She shrugged again. “Not enough to pick up your sloppy seconds.”

I let go of the wheel long enough to give her a shove.

She laughed. “So, wait—what the hell are you doing with Alex if you could have Matt?”

“It's not like that with us. He's a good friend, but he's so not my type.”