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Authors: Joan G. Robinson

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BOOK: When Marnie Was There
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“Well – I do hope so…” Mrs Preston was more doubtful than ever but she smiled gratefully. “Hadn’t we better go now, dear? She did say half past three, didn’t she?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter. I mean they’re not a bit
fussy about time. There isn’t any hurry. It doesn’t really matter
what
time we get there.” Anna moved towards the door with a desperate attempt to appear casual. “Still, I suppose we may as well—”

They set off.

Mrs Lindsay opened the door herself. She had changed her usual thick jersey and slacks for a jumper and skirt, and greeted them with a warm, welcoming smile.

“How do you do?” she said, holding out her hand to Mrs Preston. “I’m so very glad you were able to come. Do come in. Hello, Anna. What, you again!”

Anna grinned sheepishly, and Mrs Preston, with a startled apologetic glance at Anna, shook hands with Mrs Lindsay.

“I thought we’d have tea in here, it’s more comfortable,” said Mrs Lindsay, leading the way towards the drawing-room. “Anna can go in the bear garden with the others if she’d rather, but it’ll be a treat for me to be more civilised for a change.”

There was a sudden clatter on the stairs, and two steel tubes of a vacuum cleaner came hurtling down, followed by Matthew, then Andrew, Jane and Priscilla. They drew up short with expressions of horror at seeing Mrs Preston.

“Here, what’s going on?” Mrs Lindsay brushed aside Matthew’s laboured explanation that it was the quickest way of bringing them down and that
she
had forgotten them, and said, “Come and say how do you do to Mrs
Preston, all of you. Oh, Roly-poly, what
have
you been up to?” – as Roly emerged from the drawing-room on all fours, his face streaked with jam. “Jane, be a darling and take him to the kitchen for a clean-up – no, perhaps I’d better.” She picked him up under one arm and turned to Mrs Preston. “I’m so sorry, I shan’t be a tick. No, don’t worry, it’s only jam.”

She disappeared into the kitchen. Anna collected the vacuum-cleaner tubes, and the Lindsay children shook hands with Mrs Preston.

“We’ve been rushing about tidying up all day,” said Matthew, looking up at Mrs Preston with interest. “Not only for you,” he added thoughtfully, “but for someone else we’ve got coming as well.”

“No, it
was
for you,” Jane put in hastily with a reproving glance at Matthew.

“Yes, well partly, anyway,” said Matthew, “but I mean you’re not sleeping here, are you?” Mrs Preston looked bewildered. “Anyway I hope you think it looks better. By gum, we did have a rush round!”

“Don’t be silly,” said Andrew. “She didn’t see it before, so how could she see the difference now?”

“I think it looks very nice,” said Mrs Preston, her eyes flicking nervously round the hall. “A charming house, isn’t it, Anna?” Anna nodded in dumb misery.

“Anyway, you should have seen it this morning!” said Matthew. “And a few weeks ago it was worse. When my
bed was over there—” he pointed to the corner of the hall – “Andrew forgot one night and fell over it in the dark with a bucket full of dabs. Phew! We couldn’t get rid of the pong for ages—”

“Did you have a pleasant journey?” Jane asked quickly.

Mrs Preston looked relieved. “Yes – oh, yes, thank you. It was very nice, very pleasant. I think it’s so kind of your mother to invite me.”

“Oh no, not at all!” said Jane.

“We
wanted
to see you,” said Scilla.

“Yes, we couldn’t imagine what you’d be like,” said Matthew. Andrew kicked him, and he looked round in surprise.

“And now you know,” said Mrs Preston, laughing nervously. She touched the back of her hat and gave Anna a rather desperate glance.

“Yes,” said Matthew. But Anna saw, to her relief, that he was still wearing his friendly grin.

Mrs Lindsay came hurrying back. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Jane, you take Roly, will you? Now off you go, all of you. We’re going to have a quiet tea on our own. No need to look so disappointed, Matt. You’ve got the same as we have.”

“Meringues?” he whispered, grinning.

Mrs Lindsay nodded. “Yes, go along with you!”

Matthew ran, and the others followed. From the drawing-room Anna heard Mrs Preston say, “Five! How
lucky you are!” and Mrs Lindsay reply, “You’re pretty lucky too. She’s a darling, we’re all—” then the drawing-room door closed.

She followed the others into the bear garden feeling quite dazed with surprise and relief.

Chapter Thirty-Two
A C
ONFESSION

“Y
OU HARDLY SAW
the children did you?” said Anna, as she and Mrs Preston walked to the bus stop later.

“No, I didn’t, did I?” Mrs Preston seemed vague and a little upset.

Anna glanced at her sideways, waiting for her to make some remark about the Lindsays without having to be prompted, but after a moment’s silence she could bear the suspense no longer. “It was a pity you had to be in the drawing-room most of the time,” she said. “You
might have liked it better with us. But she’s awfully nice.”

Mrs Preston looked round in surprise. “Who, Mrs Lindsay? Oh yes, dear, I thought she was a
very
nice woman. And she spoke so nicely about you. The children seemed nice too. Which was the one you said you particularly liked?”

“I
told
you—” Anna sighed. “Auntie, what is it? Did you hate it?”

“No, no, no! It’s not that.” Mrs Preston cleared her throat as if she were about to make a prepared speech, then she said, “I told you I wanted to talk to you, dear. I’m afraid I haven’t confided in you as much as I should. Miss Hannay says I should have told you before – in fact she even seemed to think you might know already – the fact is, the council send us a cheque every fortnight to help with your expenses. It
is
only a contribution, you understand, and it’s quite a normal procedure. But I want you to know it isn’t that Uncle and I wouldn’t pay for you ourselves – though I must admit it’s been a help – but I realise now I should have told you before.” She paused for breath, then added regretfully, “I always hoped you might never need know.”

“Why?” asked Anna.

“I suppose I was afraid you might think we didn’t love you enough. But even if we hadn’t had the cheque it wouldn’t have made any difference. You
do
believe that, don’t you?”

Anna felt a great load lift off her mind. “I wish you’d told me before,” she said.

“I know, I should have. And now Mrs Lindsay says I should have told you more about your background. Not that I know very much, but even what little I knew I tried to forget—” she shook her head in a helpless sort of way and nearly stumbled, then pulled herself together again. “But I
did
try. I tried to tell you about your people – your mother, and your grandmother, but you never would listen. You always turned away as if you weren’t interested.”

I know, thought Anna. I hated them – and wondered why. After all, it was not their fault if they had died. She realised suddenly that the old hate had disappeared. It was as if, at some time – some time when she had not even been thinking about it – she had forgiven them all.

“But perhaps I didn’t try as much as I should have,” Mrs Preston went on. “You see, I wanted so much to feel you were my own daughter. I always hoped we might come to be friends—”

“Oh, Auntie, let’s!” Anna slipped an arm through hers, finding for the first time that she was tall enough. “I know I’ve been ghastly and I expect I shall be again, but I do love you.”

Mrs Preston patted the hand that was now so near hers and said, a little shakily, “I love you too, dear. I always have ever since you were a little thing.” She drew herself up and wiped her eyes. “How tall you’ve grown! I’m beginning to feel quite a shrimp beside you!”

“Tell me what you were talking to Mrs Lindsay about all that time,” said Anna, altering her pace to keep in step.

Mrs Preston smiled. “Quite a number of things. In fact my head’s in a whirl. One thing I think may please you very much. She asked me whether I would let you stay on down here with them, as their guest, until they go back to London. Would you like that?”

“Oh, I should
love
it! Oh, Auntie—!” Anna almost hugged her. She was feeling extraordinarily happy.

They had arrived at the bus stop. Mrs Preston looked at her watch. “There was something else—” she said, glancing anxiously down the road to see if the bus was coming.

“Is it about my background?” said Anna suddenly.

“Yes. Yes, it is, dear. Though I’m afraid there isn’t much I can tell you—” She broke off as the bus appeared round the corner. “There isn’t time now,” she said hurriedly. “Ask Mrs Lindsay. She’ll tell you later. We had a long talk.” She kissed Anna and looked at her with sudden pride. “She said such nice things about you.”

“Did she – what?”

“Oh, that you were so honest and straightforward, and always so helpful. I felt quite proud.” The bus drew up alongside. “Goodbye, dear. I wish it had been longer. I’ll write.”

She climbed up on to the step. Then, as the driver was still talking to a man inside, she beckoned to Anna to come nearer. “Uncle’s been busy in your room,” she murmured,
“making a little surprise! I oughtn’t to tell you really, but he’s been papering and painting, and we’ve got a few things for it. It looks ever so pretty!” She nodded and smiled, with her finger to her lips, and the bus moved off.

Anna waved until it was out of sight, then turned thoughtfully away. Scilla was waiting at the corner of the road. She saw Anna coming and rushed to meet her.

“Did she tell you that you’re coming to stay with us? Isn’t it super? Mummy says you can come as soon as Gillie goes. Are you glad?”

“Yes, terribly glad!”

“Wasn’t it a wonderful idea of Mummy’s! Are you coming back now?”

Anna hesitated. “Is your mother very busy?”

Scilla laughed. “You should see her! You should see all of us. Mummy’s cooking and rushing around, Jane’s putting flowers and things in Gillie’s room, Matthew’s washing up, and Andy’s trying to bath Roly-poly! I shall have to go back and help in a minute, but I
had
to come and find out if she’d told you. Mummy says she’s awfully glad your auntie came, and she thinks she’s a very nice woman – just in case you were wondering. Are you coming back? Mummy said if not, I was to ask you to come later, about half past seven.”

Anna nodded. “I’ll come later. I’ve got something I must do first.”

They parted at the corner of the road and she walked slowly back to the cottage, thinking about the thing she had
to do. She must write to Mrs Preston, straight away before she changed her mind.

It was only a short letter.
Dear Auntie, I couldn’t tell you just now because the bus was coming but you said Mrs L said I was honest. Well, I’m not. I took some money out of your purse last term. It was mostly pennies but once there was a shilling. I put the shilling back but not all the pennies. I will pay you back when I come home, and I’m sorry. With tons of love.

She underlined the “tons”, signed her name, and stuck down the envelope with a sigh of relief. Then she went out to post it.

It was three hours later, but Anna had still not gone back to The Marsh House.

She was away out on the dyke, watching the wild geese flying across the sunset over the marsh, and hearing the strange honk-honking noise they made as they passed overhead. She turned and saw the first blue of twilight coming down over the distant village, and started back towards it.

As she came nearer The Marsh House she quickened her pace. She was late. Scilla was waiting for her, the Lindsays were all expecting her, and Gillie – Miss Penelope Gill, whom she had never seen – was probably expecting her too. But she could not have hurried before. She came to the corner, drew a deep breath, and ran along the footpath towards the house.

Mrs Lindsay was just coming out to look for her.

“Anna! What is it, dear? Where have you been? We’ve been waiting—”

“Where is Mr Lindsay? Can I see him first? I want to tell him something.”

Mrs Lindsay looked surprised. “But he’s gone. Didn’t you know? He had to go back to town, to work. He won’t be back until tomorrow night. What is it? Can I help?”

“I want to tell him something,” Anna gabbled quickly, “something about the boat – Marnie’s boat. It’s something I took.”

Mrs Lindsay put an arm round her shoulders and drew her into the hall. “Was it the anchor?” she asked casually.

Anna spun round. “How did you know?”

“He told me. Don’t look so angry. There’s nothing to be frightened of.”

“You mean he knew it was there?”

Mrs Lindsay nodded. “Yes, of course. And he realised you must have taken it, because it wasn’t there when you all went to look. It didn’t matter a bit. He thought you’d probably tell him, because he knew you weren’t the sort of person who just took things without asking. But when you didn’t, he said you must have wanted it an awful lot, not to risk asking for it.
Did
you want it all that much?”

Anna nodded silently.

Mrs Lindsay said “O-oh,” very gently, just as if Anna had hurt herself and was trying not to cry. “And you wanted to see him to tell him you’d taken it? You
are
a sweetie. I call
that jolly brave. Don’t worry about it,
of course
you can have it. Tell me – where is it now?”

BOOK: When Marnie Was There
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