When Our Worlds Collide (7 page)

Graham doesn’t say anything. He just sits next to me waiting
for me to break the silence. The problem is that I don’t know what to say to
him. I have barely spoken to him since I moved to town freshman year and now he
sits listening into my own personal hell. He must feel how uncomfortable I am.
He quickly breaks the silence for the both of us.

Chapter Twelve

-Graham-

Hearing Kennedy’s parents argue in the next room reminds me
of home. It’s comforting knowing that my family isn’t the only ones that spend
their nights arguing. How fucked up am I? I have a feeling that this isn’t a
normal occurrence like it is at mine house. I can relate and I know she’s
feeling uncomfortable with me being here. She looks over at me as her neck and
cheeks begin to beam with the softest shade of pink. 

“You plan on going to college in New York?” I ask in attempt
to make her not freak out in embarrassment.

“If I’m lucky enough I will. At this point it’s a waiting
game with my leg,” she explains shrugging her shoulders as if it isn’t that big
of a deal. The way she peers over my way makes it seem like she feels bad for
saying it. She is trying to protect my feelings, when it should be the other
way around.

I swallow hard before continuing with the conversation. “You
don’t think you’ll be able to dance?”

“No it’s not that. I’m sure I will--at some point. I’m just
not sure if it will be like I used to. It’s going to take a while to heal is
all I meant. I’m sorry.”

Why is she apologizing?

“How long have you been dancing?” I’m actually curious which
surprises me.

“I started when I was four and haven’t stopped since,” she
grins at me like it is Christmas morning and she realized Santa had made a
visit. She obviously loves dancing by the way her eyes light up when she talks
about it. “What about you?”

“How long have I been dancing?” I joke nudging her with my
elbow right in her side. I feel comfortable around her. I don’t feel the need
to be someone I’m not. It’s a nice and unexpected change. This is a good thing
I try to remind myself. I let my arm fall directly next to where Kennedy’s lays
naturally. Our skin is touching, but she doesn’t shy away from me.
Damn, her
skin is soft.

“Baseball…how long have you been playing baseball?” Kennedy
smirks amused with my playfulness. 

“Right about the same time that you started dancing, I
suppose. I can’t remember ever not playing. It’s just something that I’ve
always done.” I explain hoping that she will leave it at that. The real reason
why I play is too deep of a conversation to have with a girl who is practically
a stranger.

Kennedy sits beside me moving the remote from one hand to
the other. It is a nervous tick. I can’t hold back my grin. If she only knew
that I am just as nervous as she is sitting next to her. How do you go from
barely speaking to each other to whatever this is?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks in a low
sweet tone. I can’t force my eyes away from her bottom lip that she can’t stop
biting down on. Must be another nervous tick of hers.

“You seem anxious.” I observe sitting up from the pillow
that’s resting behind my back.

Kennedy contemplates my observation. “This isn’t going to be
easy, is it? What I mean is what happens at school tomorrow? You say were
friends, but are we really? We’ll just go back to being strangers who only
notice each other in passing, right?”

“So you’ve noticed me, huh?” I laugh trying to lighten the
mood. Secretly, I am hoping she has noticed me as twisted as that is.

Now would be the time to be honest…

“I’m not going to promise you anything. I’m not sure that I
can keep any promise to you. I’m going to slip up, be an ass to you because I
don’t know how to be friends to someone like you,” I explain honestly. After
hearing the way it sounds coming out of my mouth and the way Kennedy is
questionably staring at me, I realize my slip up.

“Someone like me...?” Kennedy questions my words obviously
irritated how I shoved her into a category that she is unaware of. She’s
disappointed.

You’re an ass hat.

“You’re better than me,” I blurt out. “I’ve never done
anything to deserve you being nice to me, but still here you sit acting as if
we have been friends forever. I’m an asshole, Kennedy. I don’t treat girls the
way that they deserve to be treated. What does that say about me? All of the
girls that hang around me I have probably slept with,” I answer with full
honesty.

I don’t know what it is about this girl, but Kennedy makes
me want to be honest. Don’t tell anyone I am admitting this. Not like anyone
would believe you. Things are coming out of my mouth and I am thinking things
that I don’t understand but I know they are the truth. No one holds me
accountable for the way I treat people, but as Kennedy’s big blue eyes look up
at me I feel the need to rectify my past. She is far too good of a person to be
around. I’m being pulled to her whether I deserve to or not.

“Surely you’ve had friends that are girls?” she smiles
innocently at me. This time it makes it up to her eyes. I’d like to believe she
is humoring me knowing what my reputation is like. I have a feeling she is
being serious by the way her eyes dance across my face trying to figure out
what I can’t say out loud to her.

“In elementary school I guess I did when all I cared about
was video games and hanging out with my friends. As soon as I hit a certain
age, it was all purely based on sex,” I pause to see her reaction. She’s
holding her breath. “Once I made it on varsity as a freshman, girls started
throwing themselves at me. Being in a relationship was and is the furthest thing
from my mind. I know that it is all based on physical attraction. I’ve never
had any reason to keep friendships with girls.” Kennedy accepted this answer
and changes the subject quicker than you can imagine.

We continue to talk for the next few hours. She avoids the
topic of my “friendships”. I know it makes her uncomfortable, which is why I
shamefully slid it into the conversation a few times. I like seeing her blush
creep up her cheeks. Kennedy is too innocent compared to my debauchery. She
explains to me that the talent show was the first time anyone at the school had
seen her dance. She has gone to the same dance studio since she had moved here
as a freshman. Before that, she was part of a very small studio where she used
to live back in Michigan. I enjoyed watching her eyes light up when she talked
about dancing. I look the same way when I talk about baseball.

“Why aren’t you on the dance team at school?” I ask
curiously. She is clearly good enough, much better than any of the other
dancers at our school.

“Dance has always been my hiding spot. It would turn into
something else if I did it every Friday at the pep rallies…” she trails off
leaving the thought in the air.

“But you chose to dance in the talent show? Not exactly the
most discreet, Ken,” I raise an eyebrow at her. She smiles at me knowing that I
am right. Everyone goes to those talent shows. Most of us are bribed with extra
credit. None the less, we are all known to be there.

“Violet pushed me to do it actually. She’s the only one
who’s seen me dance.”

“You’re too good not to dance in front of people.” I lean
forward to get a better look in her eyes. She had leaned away from me trying to
avoid eye contact earlier, but looks up at me when I reach up to place a finger
under her chin to try to coax her into acknowledging what I just said. She
humors me and looks through her eyelashes directly into my eyes.

Something comes over me. I don’t know why I do it, but I
lean in to her leaving only a mere inch between our lips. Kennedy’s breaths are
deepening along with mine. I can feel every exhale of hers on my lips. I
instantly regret what I have done.
What are you thinking? She isn’t one of
your conquests. Leave this poor girl alone.

Her eyes are wide with obvious surprise. We both quickly
turn away before either of us closes the gap any further.

“It’s getting kind of late,” she whispers scooting herself
down to the end of the bed swinging her leg over the side. We both look at the
clock and it reads 2:45am.

“Holy shit, my mom’s probably freaking out,” I bend down to
slide my shoes on before walking towards Kennedy’s bedroom door. I look back at
her as she sits at the foot of her bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school,
okay?” She nods and smiles at me as I turn my back on her.

Chapter Thirteen

-Kennedy-

The sun streams through the sheer curtains in my bedroom
waking me before my alarm clock has a chance to actually do its job. I’m not
nearly ready to get out of bed. Facing reality is the last thing I want to do.
Like most things in life I don’t have much choice.

I had trouble falling asleep last night. I stayed up most of
the night once Graham bolted out of my house replaying every word we spoke over
and over in my head. My head is still clouded from being near him.

Last night just cemented the fact that Graham and I are
different. I keep reminding myself that Graham’s not the type of person to turn
his head towards someone as simple as me. He spends his whole existence being
worshiped by everyone when I’m average at best. Graham is popular, athletic,
and freaking gorgeous to the point that it hurts to look at him for too long.
I’m none of these things. There isn’t a world where Graham and I would have any
reason to mingle in with each other. That’s just how it is
. I think I’m okay
with that. I have to be okay with it.

Continuing to lie in bed staring at the ceiling is beginning
to seem more appealing as I think how today will go. Being face to face with
Graham isn’t something you can prepare yourself for. I have always believed I
am immune to his type of power, to his appeal. Last night proved that to be
utterly wrong. I am anything, but immune to him. He looks at you in this way
that makes you want to become everything he wants. I am under no false pretense
that his innocent glances and playful banter is reserved solely for me. I fell
into the trap anyways and let myself believe for a few minutes that he could
actually be looking at me and not just threw me like he does everyone else.

As I eat my cereal waiting for Violet to show up, I fall
into a bit of a daydream. Almost, for a split second, I thought Graham was
going to try to kiss me. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t think about it,
how his lips would feel against mine. I’ve wondered how it would feel to be
kissed.

“I’m leaving for school,” I shout to my mom as I put my bowl
of half eaten cereal into the kitchen sink. No response until I nearly shut the
front door. I thought I heard her say to have a nice day. Unlikely.

Violet is a good friend, but she isn’t by any stretch of the
word compassionate. I would never expect her to walk up to my front door and
help me with my things even knowing that it would be a lot quicker if she did.
That’s why she’s smiling in the driver’s seat watching the embarrassment of me
trying to keep my back pack on my shoulder as I stumble around on my crutches.

“Hey Slut, get in the car,” Violet screams through her open
window as soon as I hit the driveway to greet her.

“One…I’m not a slut and you know that. Two…I’m sort of
crippled here, so give me a minute or two to get out there,” I shout back to
her. I pull open her passenger side door and throw everything in the backseat.

“What did you do last night? I tried texting you, but I
never heard back from you.” Violet peers over at me turning up the radio.

I debate back and forth between telling her about Graham and
keeping it a secret. “I worked on homework and passed out pretty early,” I lie
deciding to keep it to myself. The rest of the drive to school is spent in
silence except for Carly Rae Jepsen’s song “Call Me Maybe” playing in the
background. Violet sings along without missing a beat. She sings off key and
still continues to belt it out like she can’t hear how horrible she sounds.

The parking lot is full of students loitering around their
cars. They are likely discussing the latest drama that has managed to be passed
through the rumor mill. Hopefully my accident has moved down that list. I throw
my backpack on the hood of the car as I struggle to get my crutches from the
back seat. The muscles in my shoulders ache from using the torture devices. If
anything, I’m going to have the buffest shoulders that will put an Olympic
swimmer’s to shame.

I shift my eyes around the parking lot. I know what I am
doing and I silently chastise myself for being this naïve. My eyes land on him
in an instant. He is easy to spot. Graham is standing by what I assumed is his
car. It’s sleek and stylish. The body is jet black and looks to be nearly brand
new. His family is wealthy and not in the ‘don’t worry about how much grocery
cost’ kind of way, but more in the ‘own the whole town’ kind of way. He would
be driving around a brand new vehicle unlike the rest of us who get the family
vans and clunkers that our older siblings left behind when they shipped off to
college.

I try to keep myself from looking back over his way. I
divert my eyes as impossible as that is. Taking a chance I look behind me where
he is still standing. He’s leaning against the bumper of his car with Amanda
standing between his legs. He has on a pair of faded jeans that sit sinfully
low on his hips. They are worn in at the knees. His baseball t-shirt is tight
across his chest.
Damn, he really is gorgeous.

Amanda runs her hands down his stomach and throws back her
head laughing. It practically echoes through the parking lot. Graham runs his
hand through his hair and I can’t dig up the will to look away from him.
Watching him and Amanda together gives me a small kick to the stomach reminding
me where I belong.

Amanda Drims is the type of girl who always gets what she
wants. Her claws are currently sunk into Graham and I don’t see her relenting
any time soon. Of course, he would be into someone like her. They make sense
together. She’s too beautiful for her own good with this long platinum blonde
hair and catastrophically blue eyes that can be spotted from where I am
standing. I don’t stand a chance. Not that I want a chance. Everyone knows that
Graham and Amanda will end up together at some point. People like them always
do.

Graham turns in my direction as if he can feel me watching
him. Our eyes lock. There’s a look in his that reiterates everything that had
happened last night. Graham didn’t smile, but he didn’t need to. Amanda is what
broke our contact. She’s trying to talk to him and he isn’t paying her the
attention she thinks she’s earned. She shifts her eyes to see what has stolen
his attention and swats him across the chest to draw him back in. He rolls his
eyes at her reaction. Luckily she hadn’t noticed that it was me that was
drawing his attention away from her. Even if she had seen, she wouldn’t have
believed it.

“Why do you look like you’re in a deep thought?” Violet
snaps me back to reality as we continue our walk into school making our way
through the halls to my locker. “You were just staring into space.”

I put my things on the ground to free my hands to put my
combination for my locker in and managed to get it the first time. “Just got a
lot on my mind, that’s all,” I explain to Violet.

“Mmm hmm…” Violet scoffs and makes her way down the hallway
to her own locker. I reach down to grab my backpack, but someone beats me to
it.

“Need some help?” The familiar voice whispers in my ear. He
leans in front of me, grabs my bag and places it in my locker before I can even
answer. His eyes never drop from mine. Now that he is standing close I can
smell his cologne. It smells natural, not too chemically like some guys. It’s a
masculine scent, a mix of sandalwood and citrus. Burying my nose in his shirt
seems way too appealing.

“People are watching,” I say in a hushed tone. I turn to
face him thinking that he doesn’t realize that the entire hall is filled with
his nosy peers.

“And you care what people think?” Graham smirks causing my
heart to skip a few beats. That smile can bring an entire town to their knees.
I am beginning to not like the way he gets a rise out of me so easily.

“I don’t, but we both know you do. How are you going to
explain slumming in the hallway with me to your buddies?” I get naturally
defensive. I’m not being fair to him. I know that, but I can’t stop my
insecurities from pooling out of the corners of my mouth.

Graham laughs under his breath. “You’re clueless. You know
that right?”

What’s that supposed to mean?

Just as I am about to say something one of the senior
football players, I think his name is Deacon, stops dead in his tracks to look
at us. “What’s going on here?” he points between the two of us letting his eyes
carry over my entire body making me feel uncomfortable as if I am on display.
His voice carries through the hallway bouncing off of the concrete walls
gaining the attention of everyone nearby. Great as if we already hadn’t grabbed
their attention, now they are all staring at us in fascination.

Graham looks around at all of the watchful eyes that are
waiting for an explanation. “No way man, I’m just getting some notes from
government class. It’s nothing like that,” Graham practically laughs in my face
without batting an eyelash while humiliating me. I physically flinch at his
obvious disgust with me.

My skin burns red as I look to see a group of girls
snickering at me. The football player moves down the hallway accepting Graham’s
excuse. Everyone continues back on their original conversations that we had
interrupted.

I reach for my crutches as Graham attempts to help me with
them. I jerk them out of his reach. “Seriously, what the fuck do you think you
are doing?” I utter under my breath with an anger I didn’t know was capable of
coming from someone like me.

Graham’s eyes grow large. Obviously he isn’t expecting me to
drop such foul language. Not a big surprise, since I usually choose to use more
eloquent words when speaking. “I’m just trying to help, Jesus,” he throws his
hands up in surrender.

“I don’t need your help and I sure as hell don’t need a
friend like you, Graham.” Tears fight to break through, but I refuse to let
them finish their decent. I make my way down the hallway in the direction of my
first class leaving Graham standing in the hallway alone. I can’t handle
another run in with him. It only causes more tears to form where the others
have dried. If this is how our “friendship” is going to continue I’m going to
be exhausted trying to keep up.

I should know better. Graham’s exactly the type of guy that
he warned me about. I hoped that he was different. I’m not even sure why, after
everything that has happened. That was his one chance to prove himself and he
acted as if talking to me was such a drastic stretch for his popularity.

There is nothing good that could come out of a friendship
with someone like Graham. He not only proved that to me just now, but he threw
it right in my face. By the way he looks at me I think he expects me to take it
from him. He wants me to accept that this is who he is without challenging him.