When She's Bad (20 page)
She held her breath. “Very sure.”
“If you need anything, you should let me know,” he said.
“I just need your love, to be your wife.”
He stroked her cheek. “My mother and father suggested a June wedding date. What do you think?”
“That’s a long time,” she said, thinking about the ticking time bomb of Guy Crandall.
“I agree, but my mom says it will take at least six months to plan everything. It sounds almost as involved as running for election.”
“I guess. Do you mind walking me to the door?” she asked, still spooked by the appearance of Guy’s note on her front porch.
Robert escorted her up the steps. “I’d love to go inside with you. You remember I’ll be picking you up for Thanksgiving dinner with my folks?”
“I couldn’t forget it.” She pressed her lips against his. “Good night, darling.”
She stepped inside her door and bit her lip. How long could she keep hiding her father’s secret from Robert? How long did she want to? She was ready to bite her acrylic nails to the quick.
She loved Robert and wanted to be with him. She wanted so badly to be a part of his family that it possessed her, but she was tired of pretending she was perfect when Lord knew she wasn’t. Sighing, she triple-bolted the door and climbed the stairs to her bedroom.
She still wasn’t sure he really loved her. The doubt taunted her. What if she was fighting for something that was never going to happen? What if he was never going to love her?
Stepping into her familiar bedroom decorated in the Queen Anne cherry her mother had given her when she’d moved to New York, Lilly kicked off her shoes. What if she wasn’t able to keep the secret until she and Robert were married? June, she remembered him saying and her stomach turned. She would have to lie until June.
What if he hated her for keeping the secret from him? What if the press found out at an awkward time? Then both Robert and his father would hate her.
Lilly groaned as she unbuttoned her blouse. She wanted to be the woman he needed and loved. She wanted to be the woman he turned to. She wanted to be part of his family. Even though his family was a little dysfunctional and her future father-in-law was the most controlling man in the universe.
Discouraged down to her bones, she hung up her clothes and put on her pajamas. She went through the motions of removing her makeup and brushing her teeth and slid under the covers. Needing some extra warmth tonight, she turned on her electric blanket. Reaching out to turn off her bed lamp, she caught sight of her engagement ring.
She knew the diamond was real. A Huntington would do no less. She just wished she knew if their marriage would be real.
On Wednesday during lunchtime, the front entrance receptionist paged Delilah at her desk. “I’m sorry to bother you, Miss Montague, but there’s a young woman here who says she has an appointment for services, but she’s nowhere on the books and you know how slammed we are. She insists on seeing you.”
Delilah rolled her eyes. Probably some prima donna college girl on break. “What’s her name?”
“Lori Jean—”
Delilah smiled. “I’ll be right there.”
She told Sara to hold all her calls until further notice and continued to the front desk. Her youngest sister, Lori Jean, dressed in designer jeans stood at the desk, her eyes dancing. Her long blonde hair silky straight, she cocked her head in subtle warning toward a big, beefy man standing in the background.
“What services had you arranged?” Delilah asked.
“Oh, the works. I’m on break from college and I need a beauty SOS,” Lori Jean said.
“I’ll take care of this,” Delilah said to the receptionist. “Please come this way.”
“See ya later, Chucky,” Lori Jean said to the beefy guy at the door. “Bodyguard,” she whispered to Delilah. “Pain in the ever-lovin’ ass. My father is damned and determined to make sure I don’t lose my virginity until I get married. I swear he’d put a chastity belt on me if he could.”
“How did you manage this?” Delilah asked, well aware that Lori Jean’s father, Harlan Granger, had done his best to sever all of Lori Jean’s ties with her half-sisters. Katie’s husband, Michael, had brought them back together two years ago and they’d vowed to keep in touch ever since. It was toughest for Lori Jean because her father freaked out at the mention of Katie and Delilah’s names, plus he had a heart condition. “Your father wouldn’t allow you within five feet of me.”
“He doesn’t know you’re the big cheese here. I told him that since he has stuck me in the middle of nowhere at the women’s college he insists I attend, the least he can do is allow me a little relief at the best spa in Texas. He grumbled, but allowed it. I can’t stay long, though. His jet’s taking me back to Dallas in three hours.”
“And you’re supposed to get the works?” Delilah asked, leading her into her office.
As soon as she closed the door, Lori Jean threw herself into Delilah’s arms. “I’m so glad to see you!”
Delilah’s heart melted at her sister’s effusive affection. “Me too. It’s a good thing you’re so inventive or I’d never get to see you.”
Lori Jean pulled back and frowned. “Yeah. I just wish Katie could be here.”
“She and Michael will be here on Monday,” Delilah said, and immediately regretted it.
“Monday? Damn,” Lori said. “I’m going back to school on Sunday. Why are they coming?”
“Something with Michael’s job,” Delilah manufactured.
Lori sighed. “What a bummer. At least you get to see them. Maybe we can work something out for Christmas.”
“Maybe. So do you want a facial?”
“A trim for my hair would be nice,” Lori said then smiled. “It’s been a while since you cut it.”
Delilah laughed, remembering how she’d butchered Lori Jean’s hair when they were little girls. Her mother had been furious. “Are you sure you trust me?”
“Totally,” Lori said. “But just the ends.”
“Five inches, right?” Delilah joked then trimmed her youngest sister’s hair and gave her a manicure and pedicure. She fed her M&Ms from her secret stash and they talked about Lori Jean’s college life.
“Your fingernails are a mess,” Delilah told her after she finished a topcoat.
“I break them at the barn,” she said and shrugged.
“Buying you a horse is one good thing Harlan has done for you.”
“Katie was partly responsible for that. She pretty much pushed him into it the day he picked me up. But Harlan’s been good to me. He tells me I’m the sunshine in his day and he treats me like gold except for the overprotective part.” She glanced at Delilah. “How often do you see your father?”
“Never,” Delilah said as she applied polish to Lori Jean’s toenails. She knew she hadn’t done well in the father lottery. “It’s better that way. Howard was a great friend.”
“I’m so sorry he’s gone.” Lori Jean made a sympathetic sound and reached out to touch Delilah.
“Don’t you mess up your nails,” Delilah fussed.
Lori Jean smiled. “Oops. Almost forgot. Well, how are you really doing? Your emails don’t reveal much.”
“Things at the spa are going pretty well. It got a little sticky for a while, but it’s better now. If everything goes well, we’ll be adding a second location in Dallas.”
Lori Jean’s eyes widened. “That would be great! I’d get to see you more often.”
“Maybe,” Delilah said with a smile as she finished painting Lori Jean’s pinkie toenail. It surprised her how much she was enjoying this. Crazy.
“But what about a man?” Lori Jean asked. “Or two? Or three?”
“Don’t have time right now,” Delilah said.
Lori lifted her eyebrows in disbelief. “You told me there’s always time for a good time with a man.”
Delilah smiled. “That was when I was young and ignorant. Now I’m old and swamped.”
“So there’s no one? No one at all?”
For some insane reason she couldn’t quite explain, Delilah wanted to confide in her sister. She sighed. “Okay, there’s this man who lives near me.”
“And?” Lori asked, wiggling her toes in impatience.
“Be still,” Delilah said sternly as she finished the second coat. “And he’s—” She searched for the right words. “He’s nice.”
Lori made a face. “He’s nice? But is he hot?”
Delilah nodded.
Very
, she thought.
“Have you uh gone—”
“He’s a friend,” she said, feeling an unusual slice of self-consciousness. She usually joked about sex, but with Benjamin it felt different.
“A friend,” Lori said, underwhelmed. “Like Howard Bradford.”
Delilah shook her head. “No. He’s a different kind of friend.”
She felt Lori studying her for a long moment and could practically feel her sister’s curiosity popping in the air.
“I bet he’s more than a friend,” Lori said in a sing-song voice. “I bet he’s knocked you on your butt.”
“I bet you better shut up or I’ll cut off five inches of your hair,” Delilah warned. Her sister was just a little too close to the truth.
A mental trip to the Caribbean can save your sanity. And it’s free.
—D
ELILAH’S
D
ICTUM
D
elilah turned down three offers for Thanksgiving dinner. The first, from Benjamin asking her to join him and his family, made her roll her eyes every time she thought about it. Lilly would have needed tranquilizers. A client had invited her to a large gathering which Delilah had politely declined. Sara and Paul had invited her to join the two of them. As much as Delilah loved both of them and was delighted with their romance, she didn’t think she could bear witnessing their lovey-dovey expressions and eat at the same time. Sara and Paul made her think about things she shouldn’t want. Like babies. With a man like Benjamin. Dangerous thoughts. Very dangerous.
She should have gone somewhere in the Caribbean, she thought. If only she wasn’t being blackmailed. She called Nicky and checked on Willy. His gurgle on the telephone both reassured her and made her miss him more. He was happy and safe and with his mother. That was what was important, Delilah told herself.
After eating a turkey sandwich in honor of Turkey Day, she decided to treat herself to a visit at the water wall. With most people immersed in family gatherings, the wall wasn’t likely to be crowded.
She parked illegally like she always did and rushed over to her little mecca in the city. She went directly inside and felt the same thrill she felt every time. The water had such power that it washed away everything that bothered her. Guy Crandall, missing Willy, never pleasing her father, missing Cash, worrying about Lilly, wanting Benjamin.
Her heart jumped. Oh, well, it didn’t quite eliminate that last one, but everything else faded away. Heedless of the cold concrete, she sat down, folded her arms over her knees, and just stared into the rushing water. Thirty minutes passed and she felt as if her mind had been totally cleansed.
“I thought I might find you here,” Benjamin said from behind her.
She felt her pulse race at the sound of his voice. “What are you doing here?” she asked without turning. “You’re supposed to be indulging in gluttony with your family and watching football until your eyes fall out.”
He sat down beside her. “I ate and ran.”
“How rude.” She took in the sight of his dress slacks and camel hair sports coat. “You’ll mess up your nice clothes,” she warned.
He shrugged and looked at the falls. “This is nice. Glad to see me?”
She hesitated a half-beat, but she couldn’t deny her pleasure. “Yes,” she reluctantly admitted.
His lips twitched and he met her gaze. “So hard to admit you like me.”
“I keep telling myself that we have a very bad habit of spending so much time together and we are absolutely going to have to break that habit.”
He slid his arm around her shoulder and the simple gesture felt so good. His presence just felt good.
“Next week,” she added. “Or the next.”
He nodded. “Or the next. Let’s go back to your place and watch football.”
“Why didn’t you watch football with your father and brother?”
“You know why. I missed you.”
His honesty continued to knock out her defenses. God, it was silly, but his showing up here today made her feel thankful on Thanksgiving. Her chest felt tight and achy. “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but you made my day.”
“It’s a secret?”
He smiled gently and brushed his fingers over her cheek. “You can tell me secrets anytime you like, Delilah. I won’t tell.”
And she thought he might just be telling the truth. They returned to her condo and sat on her couch and watched football all afternoon. She got hungry and thought about fixing spaghetti, but she felt lazy.
“What did you have for lunch?” he asked.
“Turkey sandwich.”
He looked at her, appalled. “On Thanksgiving? You didn’t have dinner?”
“It was an excellent sandwich,” she said defensively. “I ate a fudge-covered Oreo for dessert.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to let me take you out tonight,” he said firmly.
She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”
Her stomach growled.
He pointed to her belly. “You can’t say you’re not hungry.”
“Trust me. I won’t croak from skipping a meal. Besides, we’ve discussed this before. I’m not going out in public with you.”
“No one will be at these restaurants tonight,” he said, dismissing her concern. “Think about it. If people are going to eat out on Thanksgiving, they eat out at lunch.”
“It’s still a bad idea.”
“It’s a great idea. What do you want? Steak, seafood, ribs?”
Delilah’s mouth watered. Her stomach growled again.
He shot her a
gotcha
glance. “Get dressed and I’ll call a restaurant.”
Feeling herself weakening, she frowned at him. It was weird as all get out, but the idea of going out with him tonight gave her a forbidden thrill. “You’re being very pushy.”
“You’re being argumentative for no good reason. If you go tonight, you can get me off your back for a good week.”
She weakened further. “Promise?”
Minutes later she pulled on a little black dress, black stockings and her favorite killer heels and she and Benjamin left for a cozy restaurant downtown.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the light crowd. If she was lucky she wouldn’t run into anyone important to Benjamin. He plied her with wine, food and conversation. She liked the way he looked at her, as if nothing could divert his attention from her. She liked the gentle way he teased her, but didn’t let her get away with anything. She liked far too much about Benjamin and for all her good feelings, she had the uncomfortable niggling sense that it could all come crashing down around her if she weren’t careful. But tonight, she wasn’t going to think about that.
“Uncle,” she said and pushed the chocolate dessert they’d shared away from her. “I’m glad you talked me into this, but you may have to wheel me home. Excuse me while I go to the powder room.”
She felt his gaze on her rear end as she left the table and couldn’t help smiling. She was still smiling when she exited the powder room.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Howard’s sweet young thing,” a male voice said. “God rest his soul.”
Delilah whipped her head around to see one of Howard’s business acquaintances leering at her. She’d never liked this man. She could have stood his pot belly and thinning comb-over, but his manner gave her the creeps. More so now that she’d spent so much time with Benjamin. She would have to think about that later. “Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Winters,” she said politely, but didn’t extend her hand.
“I haven’t seen you out and about in a long time, Delilah. Howard wouldn’t want you to waste away. I’d be happy to take you out to dinner sometime if you need some comfort,” he said and tried to hand her his business card.
“Oh, I couldn’t do that,” she said. “Absolutely couldn’t.”
Winters raised his eyebrow. “Found a new sponsor already?”
She fought a burning need to grind her heel into his groin. “No, I’m sponsoring myself. I like it better that way.”
“Well, if you change your mind …” He dangled the business card.
“I won’t,” she said flatly and headed back to the table.
She tried to appear calm, but Benjamin must have sensed something was wrong. “The powder room not to your liking?”
She smiled despite her tension. “No. The powder room was lovely. I just ran into someone I don’t have on my count-your-blessings list. Could we please go?”
“Fine with me. I’ve already paid the check.”
He ushered her to the car and she felt a whisper of relief when she got inside, but she was still bothered. What if Winters had seen her with Benjamin and started talking? What if he talked to Benjamin’s potential clients? She castigated herself the entire way back to the condo.
Benjamin pulled into the garage and cut the engine. “You haven’t said a word out loud since we left the restaurant, but I’d swear you talked a blue streak to yourself. You want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I shouldn’t have gone there with you tonight. All it takes is running into one wrong person, one gossip, and then you’ll be stuck with a hot potato.”
He looked at her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about ruining your reputation. That’s what I could do. Potential clients, potential friends, they could all be negatively influenced if they knew you were involved with me.”
“I don’t care what people think.”
“That’s what people say who have never had to deal with being snubbed or having business taken away or being the subject of nasty whispers due to rumors being told about them.”
Benjamin turned quiet. “How long have you had to fight off the rumors?”
She laughed, but felt no humor. “Since I was born. My mother was eccentric. When she ran low on money, she won wet T-shirt contests to buy groceries. I never fit in at my father’s house. Then when I moved to Houston, I was nobody until Howard took me under his wing. Now I’m Howard’s former arm candy.”
“You could try to be uglier,” Benjamin suggested.
Delilah reluctantly smiled. “I’m trying to be serious here. Serious about saving your future, saving your reputation.”
His eyes glinted with recklessness. “Maybe I don’t want my reputation saved. Maybe I’m more concerned about what I think about you than what other people think about you.” He paused a half-beat. “Maybe I’m in love with you.”
Oh, wow
. Delilah couldn’t breathe for a full minute. She shook her head. “No, you’re not. You’re just confused because we had really good sex and because I’m different. I’m a novelty. You’re used to Waterford crystal and I’m Tupperware.”
“We did have really good sex and you are different, but I’m not confused. I want you. Not just at night under the covers. I want you outside in the sunshine, in front of crowds. I want you and I don’t want to keep it a secret.”
Delilah swore under her breath and covered her eyes with her hand. No, no, no. “Benjamin, you really don’t love me.”
“What if I do?”
She felt as if she was going to hyperventilate. He couldn’t. It was a terrible idea. She’d loved every minute they’d spent together, but she’d always known nothing would come of it. “You don’t,” she insisted.
“What if I do?”
“I don’t love you,” she said and felt a horrible tearing sensation inside her at the way the light went out in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t,” she said and scrambled out of the car to the elevator.
She broke a nail slamming her hand against the button and rushed inside when the elevator door whooshed open. Even after she sank against the side of the elevator, she felt as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her. She felt as if she’d committed some horrible, horrible sin, more horrible than any she could have imagined when she’d lived at her father’s house.
Benjamin just didn’t understand. Yes, he was an intelligent man, but his only reference point was that of being a Huntington. How would he feel if people talked about him behind his back? How would he feel if he found out clients decided to take their business elsewhere because of his association with Delilah? How would he feel if his family turned on him?
She couldn’t bear the thought of any of that happening to him. He was one of the few good men she’d met on this earth and she was damned if she was going to mess up his future.
The elevator doors opened and she ran to her condo, praying he wouldn’t use his key to get to her tonight. She ripped off her dress and put on her flannel pajamas, propped a chair under the doorknob and turned out all the lights.
A knock sounded at the door and she covered her ears. She put on headphones and listened to Alicia Keyes. When she couldn’t bear the soulful strains of the singer’s voice any longer, she removed the headphones.
Silence.
She felt an odd mixture of relief and nauseating disappointment. Then the phone started to ring. She glanced at the caller ID. Benjamin Huntington. She pulled the cord out of the wall.
Lilly strode up the steps of the Huntingtons’ estate and rang the doorbell. The housekeeper greeted her and invited her inside. She bit her lip and rotated her engagement ring around her finger as she waited for Robert to appear.
She’d been mulling over her situation since Thursday, but she knew the moment she’d made the decision. It had been during Thanksgiving dinner, just as the pecan and pumpkin pies were served and Benjamin excused himself.
Robert had covered her hand with his beneath the table then lifted her hand to his lips. The gesture had surprised her. His words had knocked her off her feet.
“You’ve made this Thanksgiving special for me. I want to be the one to make all of yours special in the future.”
So he really did care for her, deeply. Perhaps he even loved her. Lilly twisted the ring again. It wouldn’t make sense to a lot of people, but Lilly had known at that moment that she should break the engagement.
Joining Robert and his family for the holiday meal, feeling included, feeling cherished by Robert, had been her dream come true, but she’d felt like a fake the entire time.
Robert’s feelings for her were genuine. How shallow was she to cause him to risk his dream of getting elected or tainting his clean reputation? If she really loved him, if she really wasn’t a spoiled conniving bitch, then she would protect him.
Learning all Delilah had done to try to keep her promise to Howard had provided Lilly with food for thought. Delilah might joke about the things women should do to keep a man in line, but when it got down to the nitty-gritty, she’d been strong enough to make sacrifices for someone she loved.
