When Smiles Fade (16 page)

Once on the street, Brianna and Sydney sat in front of a restaurant directly across the street from the hospital. It was a sandwich joint frequented mainly by hospital workers. Syd stood as two women in scrubs walked toward the entrance. “Excuse me, we’re really hungry,” she started innocently. “Do you think you could give us a couple of dollars to buy something to eat?” she asked, shuffling her feet from side to side.

The two women looked on, their hearts opening wide for the dirty young girls begging for a meal. “Sure, sweetheart. You stay here and we’ll see you when we come out.”

Ten minutes later the two women stopped to talk to Brianna and Sydney on their way back into the hospital.
“Here, we brought you two hoagies. And wait.” The other woman reached into a bag and came out with two bags of chips, two brownies, and two cold orange sodas.

The girls gathered up their food, thanked the women, and rushed back to the car. When they finished eating, Syd sat back against the front seat. “Listen, I’m gonna head out later today. I’ll hop a train back to Kensington. My peeps are going to wonder where I’m at. Do you guys have money to get out of the garage?” she asked, willing to go beg for money before she left if they needed her to.

“Yeah, we have a little money left. We’ll be fine,” Emma told her. She liked the young girl. Sydney was the most resourceful person she’d ever met.

“When will we see you again?” Gracie asked, disappointed that Syd was leaving.

“Don’t know. If you’re ever back in Kensington just ask around and you’ll find me,” she told Gracie. Syd didn’t get attached to people. She knew from her early years that people come and go from your life all the time. However, she liked the three girls more than she did most of the transient players in her life.

That night, after Syd left, the girls parked the car up on the roof of the garage, where it was open and they could see the sky. While they were sitting there it began to rain hard. The water slammed the car with such force it felt as if they were sitting inside a drum. Somehow, though, the rain made them feel protected. As if it was keeping predators away.

Emma was consumed with worry as she obsessed about how to get them off the streets. With the groceries they’d bought and the gas they had paid for, they were down to $148. They couldn’t afford to stay in the garage longer than a couple of days.

She knew that the rest of their money would go in no time at all, and with winter looming, she was aware of the need to find a more permanent solution very soon. She was desperate enough to consider prostitution, but wanted to give herself a little more time to think of another option. She tucked the thought of selling sex into the far recesses of her mind, knowing it was there if they really needed the money.

Emma’s thoughts were interrupted by the announcer on the radio. “Join us at Double Visions Go-Go Bar in Horsham for amateur night, every third Thursday, for a chance to win two hundred and fifty dollars,” the announcer challenged. “You must be at least eighteen years old and have proof of ID to enter.”

Emma sat up with a jerk. “Did you hear that?” she asked the others. “A chance to win money! Bri, I think we should go and try to win this thing.”

Brianna laughed, assuming her friend was joking. “Seriously, Em,” she chuckled, “how are we going to do that? I mean, we’ve never danced at a go-go before.”

“That’s why they call it amateur night, Bri. We have nothing to lose.”

Gracie didn’t really understand what it all meant. “What do you have to do?” she asked, confused. She was trying to mentally recover from the rape and the thought of Emma doing anything “sexual” scared the shit out of her.

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know exactly, but it sounds like all you have to do is dance.” Then she had an afterthought. “Do you think we’d have to get naked?” she asked Brianna.

“Don’t know. Maybe,” Brianna replied, unnerved at the idea of being naked in public. “I have an idea. The third Thursday is in two weeks. Why don’t we go there this week and check it out to see what it’s all about?”

Emma sat back again and smiled. “That would be perfect, Bri! We’ll go there on Friday night and see for ourselves.”

“If you have to do sex with anyone, you’re not gonna go, right?” Gracie asked, wanting to be sure they wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“Right,” Brianna assured.

Emma preferred the idea of dancing to prostitution and was thankful for the fake IDs she and Brianna had bought. She relaxed into the car seat wondering what it would be like to go to a strip club. The thought of it made her both excited and anxious. What if the men thought she was ugly? Could she dance without clothes on in front of a bunch of men? These thoughts churned through her mind as she drifted off to sleep to the sound of the rain drumming a steady lullaby.

They arrived at Double Visions around nine o’clock on Friday night. Emma was a little nervous about leaving Gracie in the car, which now sat in a well-lit area of the parking lot to discourage intruders from breaking in. They had, however, taken the precaution of making her lie down on the backseat and covering her with a sheet so that she wouldn’t be visible to the club’s patrons. Emma had also purchased a large knife, which Gracie now had in a strangle hold. There was quite a crowd at the bar and Emma had instructed her little sister that if anyone approached the car to run as fast as she could to the entrance, where no one would dare follow.

“I hate staying in the car alone,” Gracie said flatly.

“We know, but we have to make some money. We won’t be gone long, Gracie,” she reassured her, leaning in for a long hug.

At the entrance of Doubles, the girls’ IDs got them past the bouncer and they quickly settled into seats at the huge bar that occupied space in the center of the large room. Inside the bar were two stages, each with a pole in the middle. There were several bartenders, male and female.

A good-looking young bartender walked over to them. “What can I get you ladies to drink?” he inquired with a handsome smile, making them feel special.

“We’ll take two of the cheapest beers you have,” Emma told him.

The bartender gave them a small nod and came back with two drafts. The DJ played music while a girl performed on each stage. Emma and Brianna watched for a while. The girls were all topless, but not completely naked. Emma found that reassuring. Observing their moves carefully, she concluded there wasn’t much to it. The strippers wiggled around and made sexy moves. They made eye contact with the men sitting around the bar, the I-want-to-fuck-you kind of eye contact. When the performers finished their set, they walked all around the bar, stopping in front of each person for a tip. They squeezed their boobs together so that the customer could tuck a dollar bill into their cleavage.

Alright, Emma thought, not so bad. When the first girl came up to them for a dollar, Emma shrugged. “Sorry, we don’t have any money to spare. But you were really good,” she offered.

The dancer gave them a knowing look and said, “Well, if you’re looking for a place to make money without having to fuck anyone, you should come back for amateur night.” Then she extended her hand.

“My name is Rana,” she said. “I’ve been working here for about two months. That guy over there,” she pointed to the far end of the bar, “that’s Jay, the bar manager. He’s a really cool guy and he treats us girls good.”

“The thing is,” Emma said hesitantly, “we’ve never done this before. I mean, we’ve danced at parties and nightclubs, but we’ve never danced for money.”

“So what?” Rana said. “That doesn’t matter. Take a look around. These guys could care less.” Before moving on to collect her dollars from around the bar, she said, “Next Thursday night, you should try it.”

The bartender approached them again. “You ladies know Rana? The guys here love her.”

“No,” Emma told him, “we just met her. We’re thinking about coming back for amateur night next week.”

The bartender smiled. “Good, can I get you another beer?”

“We wish,” Brianna answered, “but it’s not in our budget.”

Minutes later, the bartender came back with two beers. “These are on me. Enjoy the show.”

Emma and Brianna sat back and took in the atmosphere. They discussed coming back to the bar on Thursday night. Though a bit nervous about the idea, they both agreed they should try it. The second time Rana came out on stage, they watched her closely. This girl didn’t just wiggle around. She could really dance. Emma and Brianna found themselves mesmerized by her performance.

When Rana came around the bar again, she asked, “Well? What’d ya decide?”

“I think we’re going to give it a try. You can really dance,” Emma added admiringly. “You’re fun to watch.”

Rana smiled. “Listen, let me find out if you can come downstairs to our dressing room. We can talk about it a little and I can fill you in on what to expect.”

The girls eagerly agreed. After Rana finished doing her round of the bar, they saw her talking to Jay. She turned to them from across the room and waved them over. “This is Jay,” she told the girls when they approached. “He manages the place. He said you could come downstairs with me.”

Jay put out his hand to Emma, then to Brianna. “I understand you two might do amateur night,” he said pleasantly. “That’s great. Rana will show you the dressing room and fill you in on things. Hope to see you next Thursday.”

His reassuring smile made Emma and Brianna feel safe somehow. They followed Rana cautiously and observed all the dancers bustling around the room practically naked and getting ready for their set.

Emma felt comfortable and could see herself easily fitting into this life. Looking around the dressing room, Emma sensed that the other dancers were similar to her. They went about doing what needed to be done, but something deep inside each of them had been stolen.

For the first time in her life, Emma felt as if she was where she belonged.

In the dressing room, Emma and Brianna took in every detail of their surroundings. There were about a dozen girls in the room; some were naked, others half-dressed. Rana pulled over two chairs and they all sat.

“First of all,” she said, “Rana is my stage name. My real name is Alessa. That lady over there is Shiver. She helps Jay with all of us. She keeps things in order and helps the girls with whatever they need. She dances here too. They named her Shiver because the men say when she dances it makes them shiver from head to toe. Wait until you see her on stage, she’s incredible!”

Emma liked Alessa instantly. She was about the same age as Emma and Brianna. Alessa had an innocence about her that was addictively appealing. Yet her eyes were old, as if she had been through a lot in life. Emma recognized that look; it was the same one she suspected other people saw in her.

“So, Alessa, how did you start dancing?” she asked. “I mean, what made you do it?”

“The same reason you’re here, I guess,” Alessa stated matter-of-factly. “I needed the money. I have a manager. His name is Harlin. He’s my girlfriend’s brother. I had some really bad shit happen to me a few months back. Now I pay for his protection.”

“Is he your pimp?” Emma asked.

Alessa smiled. “No. He’s not my pimp. I mean, technically, he probably is, but I’m not a hooker. I dance here and give him half of everything I earn. He drives me to and from work. I live in North Philly.”

Emma knew from Alessa’s tone of voice that there was more to the story than she was willing to share. She respected that and moved on to amateur night. “So what would we need to wear?” she asked. “Do we have to go topless?”

Alessa explained they needed a costume, but since it was amateur night, they could make their own. “You know, really short shorts and a bra,” she elaborated. “You’ll need some heels, though. The last amateur night, a couple of the girls didn’t want to go topless and kept their bras on. Jay is fine with that, but don’t expect to win then. The girls who do amateur night are seriously out to win. It’s a quick two hundred and fifty bucks, ya know?”

A little embarrassed, Emma asked, “Do you think you could give us some pointers? I mean, you know, so that we might have a chance of winning?”

Happy to offer advice, Alessa quickly gave them the three most important tips. “One, make bedroom eye contact with the men around the bar,” she began. “Two, the guys like it when you bend over and show them your ass; you know, touch your toes and sway your hips for a while. And three, you may not be comfortable with what you’re doing, but pretend like crazy that you are or they’ll know it. They need to think you’re into them. Always remember: it’s a stage and you’re a performer.”

Shiver joined them a minute later. “Alessa,” she announced, “your next set is about to come up. You better get upstairs.” Then she scrutinized the two girls and asked, “Who are your new friends?”

Alessa excitedly introduced them. “Emma and Brianna—they’re thinking about coming back for amateur night and wanted some tips.”

Shiver beamed. “Well, I’m sure our clients would love you two!” she exclaimed enthusiastically. She knew instinctively that the men would go wild over Emma’s stunning beauty and sex appeal. She wasn’t as convinced about Brianna, although the girl was cute and her tiny frame was just adorable. Brianna was the smallest, both in height and weight, of the girls that danced at Doubles. She would be something different Shiver decided.