When Sorry Is Not Enough (26 page)

The fine spray from the shower was gradually awakening the remainder of Sally’s senses that had been reluctant to leave their dreamlike sleep. As she became fully aware, Sally conceded that today would be a day of mixed emotions.

She knew that no matter how hard they worked, there wouldn’t be enough time in the morning to deal with all the final preparations for Nancy’s wedding. Busy, busy in a good way they were all going to be. Turning her face up to allow the jets of warm water to massage her nose, cheeks and chin, her thoughts turned from Nancy to her immediate family.

Her niece Angela and her little boy Roy had spent the last few days at Ryehill with Josie. That was only right. After all, Josie was Angela’s mother and she had spent a lot of time trying to make up to Angela for the mistakes she had made in the past. Sally smiled when she acknowledged that in the last five years Angela had wormed her way into her heart. Indeed, Sally wished that she would stay longer but there were London relatives of her grandmother’s that she wished to visit before going home to America.

By the time Sally was dressed and brushing her hair, her thoughts had flown to Luke. She knew that one day he would complete his thirty years in the police and on retirement he would settle, she hoped, in Scotland or nearby England. Tears began to well in her eyes when she thought about how she was going to miss him.

Sitting on the edge of her bed she allowed herself the luxury of reminiscing. Her thoughts flew back to five years ago when Luke and herself at best tolerated each other but really most of the time hated each other.

Sally could still feel the warm glow that had engulfed her when old Jock had confessed he had fathered them both. That warmth had riveted them so tightly together that the last eighteen weeks had been one of the best times in her life. She sniffed and visibly relaxed as she marvelled at how they had bonded into the completely dependent, strong and loving unit they now were.

Nonetheless, some tension did return to her body when she accepted that, as the foregoing was more than true, tonight would be so difficult for her. Tonight, accompanied by Spring, Angela and wee Roy, Luke would board the overnight sleeper train to London, leaving her with just her enduring memories of him.

Normally when she was down she would have Nancy’s shoulder to cry on, but Nancy and Benny would also be journeying off tonight. In their case they would be honeymooning in her flat in Menorca. This was possible because Helen, Sally’s youngest, had now taken up a permanent teaching post in Barcelona and Sally’s flat in Santa Tomas was back to being what it was intended for: a holiday, or honeymoon, home to escape to.

* * *

Anyone who did not know the relationship between Nancy and Sally could think, because of the fuss Sally was making, that she was a doting sister who was deputising for the deceased mother of the bride.

Sally had ensured that Nancy was looking her best. Her outfit, an azure blue dress with matching jacket, had been selected from the designer range in Jenners and Nancy had spent the morning there having her hair dressed and face made up.

‘Will I do?’ Nancy asked Sally as she did a pirouette when she entered the lounge.

It was difficult for Sally to respond. Emotion was bubbling over. Why, she wondered, had no one ever seen the beautiful, flawless pearl that Nancy was? Never did Sally regret giving Nancy a chance. She knew in the years ahead, Nancy and she would become even stronger friends than they were today.

‘Right, madam,’ she manage to croak, ‘Let’s you I and pick up our bouquets from the table in the hall and get ourselves over to the Rockville.’

Nancy was hesitant. ‘But should we not wait to make sure that Benny has turned up?’

Throwing back her head Sally laughed uproariously. ‘Look Nancy, while you were taking your time to look fabulous I was down here making sure that you were not going to end up a Mary-Ellen.’

Nancy had no nerves about the ceremony but Benny shifted from foot to foot and instead of being emphatic about taking Nancy for better or for worse he said, ‘She kens I dae!’

The minister laughed, so did the guests, and the service was over. Nancy and Benny who both had endured such awful starts in life didn’t kiss in front of their guests. Benny just sought for her right hand and squeezed it; nonetheless, everybody knew they were beginning a good chapter in their lives. It was true they were approaching their twilight years but at least these precious years promised to be the best they had ever lived.

Before going through to the dining area the guests lined up to congratulate the newly-weds. Most of the people were unknown to Benny but the last lady in the queue was an acquaintance of neither of them. Benny smiled at the lady and then looked at Nancy to tell him who she was. Nancy shrugged. But Sally jumped forward and laid a steadying hand on Benny’s arm before gently uttering in an emotionally charged voice, ‘Benny, this lady is Yvonne Marshall.’ Benny smiled and shook Yvonne’s hand. ‘But when you last saw her,’ Sally continued, ‘you knew her as Yvonne Turnbull.’

Benny was still holding on to Yvonne’s hand but now he was gripping it tightly while his breath started to come in short pants. Eyes brimming over with hot salty tears, he could only mumble, ‘Are you really my sister – my very own wee sister?’

To Sally’s amazement, Yvonne raised up her hand to stroke his cheek before whispering, ‘I never forgot you, Benjamin.’ She could say no more as the enormity of the occasion became too much for her and when their out of control emotions swamped both of them all she could do was pull him into a strong comforting embrace.

They were not the only ones to be affected by the occasion. Nancy and Sally were both finding it difficult not to weep.

Sally was the first to recover and she began ushering the guests through to the dining area. Looking back to the trio she felt somehow they all deserved to have their transgressors say sorry to them. Sally grunted as she conceded that when sorry is not enough, as it was in each of their cases, and it would never be, all you can do is treat that impostor with the contempt that it deserves.

The reception and party were all that Sally had hoped they would be. Everyone joined in the celebrations and Nancy and Benny for the first time in their lives were the centre of attention. All too soon it was time for the bride and groom to leave on their honeymoon.

Everybody was out on the pavement and grassy area at the side to wave them goodbye. Even the incoming tide noisily rushed in to kiss the shore as a salute to them.

Sally was still waving her silk scarf when Nancy and Benny’s taxi disappeared along Seaview Terrace.

‘You did well,’ her brother’s familiar voice stated. ‘And I meant to say how beautiful and well dressed the bridesmaid was.’ Sally turned and quickly brushed her hand over Luke’s arm. ‘You looked quite stunning today.’ Sally huffed. ‘Honestly, Sally,’ he continued, locking his arm though hers, ‘I’m always amazed at how well you scrub up.’

She was about to respond when she saw another taxi had drawn up at her guest house.

A look of horror crossed Luke’s face and quickly he glanced at his watch. ‘Oh good lord,’ he exclaimed, ‘that’s probably the cab that’s going to take Angela, wee Roy, Spring and myself to the station.’ He stopped to grip her by the shoulders. ‘I want you to know I’m just going to hate not seeing you for a year.’

‘Oh,’ she protested, ‘but that’s not a long time. Have we not just survived being apart for three plus years?’

‘Yes. But I didn’t love you as much as I do now.’ He stopped to tweak her nose before saying, ‘Because really I never truly knew you until I came home five months ago.’

She nodded and patted his shoulder. ‘You’re right,’ she blurted, ‘and know something else, I’m glad you’re not the pain in the backside to me that you used to be.’

Before releasing her he rocked her backwards and forwards. ‘Look, Sally,’ he began, ‘you go and round them all up and I’ll go over and get the luggage on board. Then I’ll get the cabbie to circle about and pick them up here.’

She should have gone back then into the Rockville hotel to tell them their taxi had arrived but she felt a need to watch him sprint lightly towards her home. The image of him being young, strong and vibrant was the one that she wished to carry for the rest of her life.

Luke had got them all safely on board and he turned to say one last farewell to Sally. Not wishing to have her weep, he joked, ‘Know, Sally, the best of this holiday has been you and I being sleuths together. Look at what we achieved.’ He clucked before adding, ‘Straight up, in my opinion, you really did miss your vocation.’

Sally didn’t know why but as the taxi disappeared from view she felt a cold shroud of loneliness engulf her. She thought this feeling would stay with her until Nancy returned but she turned when she heard a chorus of ‘For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow’ ring out and she was encircled by the remaining guests, led of course by Bobby and Lois.

‘Well done, Mum,’ he said. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

Sally laughed and replied, ‘And me of you and Lois.’ Patting Lois’ swollen abdomen she added, ‘And may I also say that you’re looking swell, Lois.’

‘Mum,’ a voice that was not Bobby’s said, ‘how about you and I going for a drive tomorrow and me treating you to a coffee down in the Mallard at Gullane?’

Turning to face pregnant Margo who now had a need to build bridges between them, Sally smiled. ‘Yes, Margo, I think you and I having coffee together is long overdue. And,’ she continued more to herself, ‘if we are both prepared to make compromises then before you know it we could be considering sitting down to lunch or even dinner together.’

Unconsciously her gaze then wandered beyond Margo to focus on the long, sea-kissed promenade that was her favourite link route back to Leith. Chuckling to herself she reflected that it had been a long, long, up-and-down journey from there to here and what changes there had been along the way. But hadn’t her life always been like the tide? One day it was rushing into the shore ready to embrace and carry all the challenges that were thrown at it. Then slowly it would start to ebb as all of its vigour and energies were ruthlessly sucked from it. A moment passed before Sally’s shoulders began to hunch with delight. Her face then relaxed into a broad grin as she recalled that always on the morrow the tide, her faithful tide, would trickle back and before she was aware of it she would be riding on the crest of a wave again.

This story tells of one family's life in Leith in the early twentieth century. Although it echoes some of the writer's experiences and personal feelings, the characters portrayed in the book are wholly fictitious and bear no relation to any persons, living or dead. Many of the street names, localities and other details from that period in Leith's history have been preserved, however.

Also available by Millie Gray

CRYSTAL’S SONG

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IN A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN

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THE TANGLING OF THE WEB

First published 2014

by Black & White Publishing Ltd

29 Ocean Drive, Edinburgh EH6 6JL

www.blackandwhitepublishing.com

This electronic edition published in 2014

ISBN: 978 1 84502 884 8 in EPub format

ISBN: 978 1 84502 778 0 in paperback format

Copyright © Millie Gray 2014

The right of Millie Grayto be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission in writing from the publisher.

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