When Stars Collide (Light in the Dark #2) (29 page)

“Oh, okay.” The waiter pours her glass then reaches for another empty one.

“Oh, no, that won’t be necessary,” my mom says, grabbing the bottle from him. “This is just for me.”

This time Thea’s laugher escapes and she does nothing to stop it. Instead, she sits there cackling, entirely amused by this situation. 

“I’ll give you another minute to decide what you want and I’ll be back soon.”

“Thanks,” I mumble. I’m pretty sure my cheeks are red with embarrassment right now and Thea’s
still
laughing. 

I slide my menu to the edge of the table. I’ve already picked out my meal, but it hardly matters because I doubt I’ll be able to eat it. 

“So,” Thea says cheerily, “marvelous weather we’re having.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. The
weather,
that’s what she goes with? 

“This wine is fantastic.” My mom points to her glass. “I’d offer you all some, but it’s mine.” She cradles the bottle like a baby.

I cover my face with my hands. 

Please, tell me this is a nightmare?

I open my eyes and she’s drinking straight from the bottle. 

I think I might die.

“All right, that’s enough. You’ve embarrassed him sufficiently.” My dad grabs her arm and forces the bottle from her mouth. 

She sets the bottle on the table and gives us all a big grin. “I think so too. That was good, right?” she asks my dad.

“What?” I say, exchanging a look with Thea.

“After this little stunt, you deserve to be embarrassed a lot worse than this, so hold your tongue, Xander.” I press my lips together. “And start talking. I thought you guys were dating, when did you get married?”

I glance at Thea with a
what the fuck
expression. I feel like I’ve slipped into a parallel universe or something. But it looks like my mom has just been fucking with me, because she can. 

“Vegas,” I answer. “We got married in Vegas.”

Fuck, it sounds stupid when I say it, and I guess it is. It took getting drunk in Vegas for me to finally get the girl. Where was my game at? 

My mom glares at my dad. “At that stupid convention you sent them to?”

Dad raises his hands innocently. “Don’t look at me. Getting married wasn’t on the to-do list there. These two went off and did that all on their own.”

“But you told me you guys were
dating
when you came to dinner. Can you see how I feel a little hurt?” She frowns, picking up a piece of bread and slathering it with butter. “God, bread makes everything better,” she says after taking a bite.

“I know, right.” Thea laughs in agreement.

I clear my throat. “We figured that was easier than coming out and saying we were married—and I guess, we worried it might fizzle out and wanted to spare everyone the heartache of knowing.” I look at Thea and the love I feel for her, there’s no way that’s ever going away. I take her hand beneath the table. “But I think we’re in it for the long haul. I have faith in us and I hope you do too.” I look at my parents, waiting and hoping for their approval.

My mom sniffles, tearing up a bit. “Of course we do, but you got married without us,” she cries. “You’re my oldest baby, don’t you think I wanted to be there?”

“It was kind of a spur of the moment decision,” I mutter. My voice growing in volume, I add, “I don’t take it back, either, because if we hadn’t done it we wouldn’t be together today and I wouldn’t give this up for anything.”

Thea lets out an audible exhale of, “Aww,” beside me.

“You guys will have a real wedding, though? Right?” my mom asks, her eyes pleading. “Renew your vows or something, so we can all be there?”

I shrug. “Maybe, in time, if Thea wants.”

My mom zeroes in on Thea like a vulture. “
Thea?
”

Thea nearly chokes on her water. “Um, I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but right now my primary focus is what happens once I start college again and Xander’s gone all the time.”

My mom presses her lips into a thin line and exhales heavily. “Think about it, please. It’s something that would mean a lot to us, and I think, down the road, it would mean a lot to you both to have a real wedding.”

I glance at Thea. “We’ll think about it.”

I wish she’d shut up about this before she sends Thea into a panic. Thankfully, Thea doesn’t seem to care, or if she does then she’s not showing it. 

The waiter comes back and takes our order, giving us funny looks, probably because of the bottle of wine my mom still has beside her. He’s probably worried we’re all a bunch of crazies and are going to bail on the crazily expensive meal. 

Luckily, the rest of the dinner goes smooth, and I’m glad to have worked things out with my mom. I can tell she’s still slightly hurt by the situation, but she’s not pissed anymore, so I’ll take that as a win. I’ll make sure to stop by the house with lunch one day this week so we can chat just the two of us.

We leave the restaurant and part ways, with hugs and goodbyes.

Thea takes my hand and we start down the street. Jars filled with lights hang from the trees.  

 She tilts her head back, smiling up at them, and the light dances across her face making her look almost angelic. 

She grabs onto my arm, leaning her head against my shoulder as we stroll down the street. 

Her happiness radiates off of her like a physical energy and I feel bowed by it. Her vibrancy and zest is contagious. 

Things aren’t perfect, not by a long shot, but right now, in this moment, it almost feels like it is. So I take that small victory and make it mine, smiling like I own the whole world as I walk beside the girl I love. 

“You talk to her.”

“No,
you
,” I argue with my brother.

He clenches his jaw and glares, looking from me to the closed door that once led to Xander’s room, but now has been taken over by my mom. 

“You’re the girl,” he reasons.

I snort. “
So
? You’re the favorite.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Rae shakes her head as she walks by. “You guys sound like you’re five.”

“Stay out of this!” we yell simultaneously.

“Whoa.” Her eyes widen. “All right then.”

“You talk to her,” I hiss to Cade. “You’re older. More worldly.”

He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “We’ll
both
talk to her.”

I lift my chin. “That is a reasonable compromise, but
you
go in first.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “We’ll shake on it.”

“Deal.” I spit in my hand and hold it out. “Put it there, partner.”

Cade spits in his hand and we shake on it the way we used to as kids. When I look behind him Rae is watching us with a horrified expression. She raises her hands, shaking her head.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t watch that.” She disappears into their room.

“You first.” I nod my head at the door that separates us from our mom.

Cade sighs heavily and wraps his hand around the knob, turning it. The room is dark, like a dungeon, and I see that Xander’s black curtains are pulled over the window allowing no afternoon sunlight to slip through. One lone light on the dresser is all that’s on, providing a measly amount of light for the room. 

“What’s that smell?” I pinch my nose. 

Cade tilts his head this way and that trying to make heads and tails of the form buried under a mountain of blankets. “Mom?” he says hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a distant groan that I think is meant to be
yes
. 

Cade and I exchange a look. It’s worse than we thought. 

Since I’m more brazen than Cade, I stride forward and yank the covers off my mom. She cowers away like the minimal light in the room sears her skin.

“Get up. Shower. And put some clean clothes on.” I glance back at Cade and mouth
tough love.

She doesn’t move and she looks up at us with bleary, tear-filled eyes. “I couldn’t protect Gabe and I couldn’t protect you two. I’m a horrible mom and I don’t deserve you.”

I wince like I’ve been shot. 

Gabe
.

My little brother. I never think about him. It’s too difficult to think about that big gaping hole in our life. A hole that’s my fault. All because I wanted to go horseback riding on that
stupid
vacation. If I’d never begged and pleaded to go, he wouldn’t have died. He’d still be here and we’d still be a family. A whole family and not a fractured one built up with hate, hurt, and lies. 

My heart stutters inside my chest as I think about the little boy we lost before we even got to know him. He was only eight.

“Mom,” my voice cracks. “There was nothing you could do. It was my fault.”

“Thea,” Cade says softly, resting his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off. “It was a freak accident.”

“If I hadn’t begged for us to go horseback riding it wouldn’t have happened!” I shout. “He wouldn’t have fallen off his horse,” I say softer, losing steam, “and he’d still be here with us.”

Tears prick my eyes. 

If I think back on it, that’s the day when things changed for good. 

My dad was already an asshole, but after that he had an even bigger reason to be a jerk, and my mom? That day
broke
her, and she hasn’t been the same since. She became over-bearing, and uber critical and turned a blind eye to everything Dad did. 

“My fault,” my mom says from the bed, her body shaking. “No, it was my fault. It was all my fault.” Her eyes grow clearer and she grabs my hand with surprising strength. It’s then that I notice how thin she’s become. This isn’t sudden thinness, either, it’s obvious this has been happening for a while, and I wonder what her life has been like left alone with Dad the last year. “I should’ve left him a long time ago. If I’d left him when I should have Gabe would still be here.”

Cade steps forward, his presence crowding behind me. 

“It’s
neither
of your faults and you have to let it go. Gabe wouldn’t want you blaming yourselves.”

Tears burst from my eyes when I think of Gabe’s sweet cherubic face and his wide round eyes. I know Cade’s right. That kid … He was a goofball and the sweetest thing ever and he wouldn’t want us blaming ourselves. That’s why I never try to think about him, because when I do, guilt floods me and nearly drowns me in its depths. 

“And Mom,” Cade says, “you’ve left him now, that’s what matters. Just please,
please
don’t go back to him.”

She doesn’t respond, but I hope that his words have gotten to her. 

I wipe my tears off my cheeks, sniffling. I hadn’t been expecting a cry fest when I came in here. 

“I think we should get her in the bath,” I tell Cade. “She smells like a rotting carcass.”

Cade gives me a horrified look. “You’re on your own with that.”

I glare at him. “At least help me get her into the bathroom, and I’ll do the rest.”

He sighs. “I can do that.” He picks her up easily and she looks so small in his arms and I realize now that she’s even smaller than she looked in the bed and it’s
scary
. She’s no more than skin and bones.

Cade gets her into the bathroom and promptly leaves.

I sigh. It isn’t going to be fun, but I have to do what I have to do.

An hour later, she’s clean and dressed in real clothes with her hair brushed. She looks human and not like a sewer rat, so I take that as a win.