When the Heart Lies (18 page)

“I don’t think divulging everything now would help.”

Xavier looked completely beaten and exhausted, which was a rare. “Damn it, I want to talk to her. Why can’t Nick be stronger for her? She needs someone strong. And she needs to know she’s loved. I don’t fault Nick totally; he loves her, but his idea of love will never be enough for her. He thinks he can live any way he likes and still be with her. I can’t help blaming myself for his arrogance. We spoiled him.”

“You said Jackson is sending his niece to the café? You’ll find out more after he calls you.”

“I suppose,” Xavier said. “I think I’ll lie down. I’ll call Olivia later.” He never napped during the day.

~ ~ ~

When Wayde left for the grove, Kinsley blasted her face with ice-cold water, looked into the mirror, and smiled. It was her rehearsal for going out into the living room and giving her son the impression he had a happy mother. She walked into the hall and stood watching Max from the doorway. He was playing with Legos, one of the few things he had to keep himself occupied. He was building a castle.

Wouldn’t life be nice if we sneaked into the castle and live happily ever after?

She sat, mimicking his, Indian style position, and started to help him build, following his directions.

“I’m the prince.” He was always the prince.

“I’ll be the princess.” She was always the princess.

“No.”

“Why not? I’m always the princess.”

“The princess is sleeping.” He showed her the little figure of the princess in the bed. He covered her with a tiny blanket and bent the little prince down to give her a kiss.

“We should wake her up, so I can play with you. Has she been sleeping long?”

Max looked at her and nodded. She reached for the princess to wake her.

He reached out his hand to stop her. “No. Don’t wake her up.”

“Well, who am I going to be then?”

“You’re the Bitch Queen.”

At first, she didn’t think she heard him right and rewound the words in her head. No mistake, he spoke very matter-of-factly.

“Max! Why would you say that word? That’s a naughty word.” She wanted to pretend he never heard anything and would never remember anything.

“That’s your name now. Savannah and Wayde said so.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. If Max weren’t sitting next to her, she’d go into Savannah’s room, pull her from the bed by her hair, and beat her face bloody. If jail wasn’t a possible outcome, she’d do worse.

“Max, sometimes adults are naughty, and Savannah and Wayde are naughty. A lot. I don’t want you listening to them. You need to listen to me. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Okay. But, who will you be if you’re not the Bitch Queen?”

She hung her head and took another deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain this to him so he’d understand. “Max, queen is not a naughty word. The word
bitch
is naughty. A mean word, and only unkind people say mean words to other people. So, why don’t we put the queen to sleep now, and wake up the princess so I can play?”

“I don’t know.” His lower lip puffed out covering the top. “I don’t want to play anymore.”

She watched as he began to take the castle apart. “Wait. Why don’t you want to play anymore, honey?”

“I’ll wait ‘til daddy comes, then you can be the princess again.” She tried closing her throat tight, to choke back the tears, but when she did, her eyes squeezed shut, and they came anyway. Not little ones that stuck out from the sides, but big heavy drops that wet her face and dropped down wetting her shirt, the kind she could keep silent, but couldn’t keep from flowing.

She took him into her arms and held him. “I’m going to make sure you’re with daddy soon. Okay? It might take a little time because Daddy works hard to take care of the princess and the prince, and sometimes he has to go away for work. You remember, don’t you?”

“What about Poppy? I miss him, too.” Her heart broke. She hadn’t considered nearly enough the effect of his being away from both Xavier and Nick. She’d been so selfish.

“You’ll be with Poppy, too.” They picked up the castle. She set him up at the table to color, went into the bathroom, and cried until there were no more tears while she stared at the stranger in the mirror. Seeing the effect her decisions had on Max made facing herself difficult.

When she cried all the tears she had in her, they took their daily nap. She didn’t fall asleep for a long time, letting her thoughts wander. She’d had to endure Nick’s affairs and
drinking, but he’d never treated her like Wayde had. Nick, in most ways, treated her well. He even tried to keep his infidelities hush-hush. Maybe Angela was right; she should’ve looked the other way. Surely, being back with Nick would be better than this.

Shortly after falling asleep, she startled awake when Wayde came through the bedroom door like a rocket and just as loud.

“Git your ass out of bed if you want to go down to the café. I got things I gotta do in town.”

Max stirred, but continued to sleep with the depth only a child is capable of. She pulled herself from the bed, and let him snooze until she was ready to go. She was too tired to argue with Wayde anymore about the way he treated her. Besides, arguing wouldn’t do any good, so why bother? There was no more paid writing to do, but she wouldn’t tell him. She’d just work on her new book.

“Veda’s been bugging to talk to you. Use your skills and write a God damn note telling her you’re busy, you’ll get with her soon. I’ll give her the note when I take Max.”

“Why don’t I tell her myself?”

“Because you’re busy, and I got things to do.”

“Yeah, I’m so busy. I’ve never been so bored.”

He took her by surprise and pushed her hard against the kitchen sink. Her back bent in an unnatural way. Fat nicotine stained fingers grabbed her jaw roughly, and he pulled her face to his. Rank breath permeated her nostrils from the force of his words. “I’ll take care of that boredom tonight.” He pushed his lips cruelly against hers.

She turned her head sharply, and her chin slipped from his grasp. Tears threatened, but she wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. She blinked and held in the breath that would otherwise expel words she was sure to regret.

“I always thought you liked things a little rough, darlin’.” The pressure he held her with lessened, and he smiled.

She slipped from beneath him and went to get Max ready to go. No one ever treated her that way before. Nick was a dream comparatively. The booze and the women? As much as those things hurt her, she felt sorry for him. Nick was like a baby in a man’s body. He needed love and care almost the same way a child did.

Once she left the room, Wayde grabbed a cigarette and walked outside. He kicked the truck tire, opened his cell, and dialed. “Yeah, it’s me. Of course I’m alone. We need to decide what we’re doing here. I can’t keep her away from phones, internet, and people forever. I got her scared enough not to push things, but I had to threaten her good. What the hell did she do to get under your skin? Shit, when she’s treated right, she don’t act half bad. I want more money. I didn’t agree to all this for a measly fifty thousand. What do you mean we’ll talk about money later? I said I want more money. If I can’t have you, you’re gonna pay. This is more than you let on. Damn you!”

The phone went dead. He leaned against the dirty truck and pulled a picture from his wallet. As he studied the photo, tears rolled down his face. He snorted several times, wiped his snotty nose onto the shoulder of his T-shirt, then tucked the picture back into the billfold and headed into the house.

~ ~ ~

Jonathan entered Xavier’s room, but there was no need to wake him. He was wide-eyed, lying face down, his arms crisscross beneath his chin on the plush oversized mahogany bed.

“Are you rested?” Jonathan asked.

“Physically. Emotionally, I’m consumed. After the last few years, I wonder if I’ve made any right choices.” He flipped over onto his back using his still crisscrossed arms for a pillow. “I’ve let this go on too long.”

“If you didn’t think they were the best choices at the time, you wouldn’t have made them. The past is irrelevant. Now, more than ever, is when you need to be sure every decision is the right one.”

He stretched out in the bed, groaning until he’d extended as far as he was able and gave up with a grunt. “The next choices I make could destroy the lives of people I love.”

Jonathan sighed, adding an understanding nod of his head.

“Can you grab my cell phone from my pants pocket? I need to give Olivia a call.”

Jonathan reached for the pants, retrieved the phone, and passed it to him. “Mrs. Wentworth said lunch would be ready in twenty minutes. Can I get you anything else?”

“No, I don’t need anything. On second thought, if you get time, you can pack me a bag for the gym. I need to get out of here for a while after lunch. Maybe I’ll play some racquetball. Haven’t done that in a while.”

“Will you need more time for your call?”

“If I’m not down in time, tell Angela I’ll be there in a few minutes. Did she say whether or not Nick would be here for lunch?”

“Yes, he should be arriving soon.” As Jonathan left, he turned back to Xavier. “Everything will work out.” He tipped his head and set off downstairs.

Xavier made the call to Olivia. “Hello, Olivia, I gather things aren’t going so great down there.”

Olivia spoke, her voice confirming his statement as much as her words did. “No. Jackson still isn’t happy. Did he talk to you about putting video in? I’m not so sure about that. I doubt Judge Waters would go so far for anyone without very good reason. If you put cameras in anyway, I don’t want to know.”

“I understand.”

“Xavier, Jackson wouldn’t ask, but he needs some relief down here. He’s working day and night, and he’s getting frustrated. He can’t find anything on Wayde. Only basic information on his military records came in. He’ll pursue what he has, but we should get someone to relieve him at night.”

“I think we’re all getting frustrated, Olivia. With Max and Kinsley gone and things the way they are, my life and family are unrecognizable. Do you have someone we can trust completely? I want as few people involved in this as possible.”

“I’ll call in some favors. I convinced Jackson to come over and have dinner with me tonight. We’ll discuss the video and how to proceed. I’ll get someone in by then.”

“Good. Seems like you had a nice time at Nick’s. Anything Jackson forgot to mention?”

“Jackson doesn’t forget things. Yes, we had a good time. One of his friends, Mia, came over. Worked out perfectly. He got Nick alone, and I was able to talk to Mia.”

“The way Nick goes through women lately, I’m surprised to hear he invited Mia over and not one of his lady friends. She’s shy, especially when first getting acquainted with people. She talks more once she gets to know you.”

“Shy? Are you sure were talking about the same woman? She was very open. Plain to see how she feels about Nick.”

“What? They’ve been friends since junior high. I’ve never noticed any interest between the two of them. Well, Mia. I suppose she’s been interested.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Well, whatever’s going on with Mia and Nick is none of my business. Although, I hope you’re wrong.”

Chapter 11

Holed up in the rundown motel room, listening to the air conditioner hum and the couple in the next room knock the headboard against the wall during their lunchtime romp, Jackson still couldn’t drown out the sound of Kinsley’s sobs. He sat staring intently at the audio equipment. Listening was an intrusion. Kinsley wasn’t some stranger, so he couldn’t easily distance himself from what he was hearing. It made him a little sick inside to imagine how she might feel knowing he was listening to her most private moments. Some things, like the interaction Kinsley and Max had earlier, should remain private. And a person should be able to cry knowing they can’t be heard. Unable to look at the equipment any longer, he bent over and clasped his hands together. Shaking his head toward the ceiling, he got up to get a beer and then returned to the backbreaking motel chair and sat, kicking one foot up onto the other. Before long, Scar showed up.

She raised her fist to knock, it hovered midair between them as he opened the door abruptly.

“Hey, C’mon in.” He returned to his seat, leaving her in the opened doorway. “There’s stuff in the fridge if you want something. They’re having dinner now. Not much is being said. From what I’ve seen of her, it’s hard to imagine she’d take all of his shit. I’m sure she only does for Max’s sake.” The whole situation left his body as hyperaware as his mind, an uneasy sensation he’d never had to endure. The case drained him and his ability to maintain balance. He wasn’t sleeping well, and every waking moment was filled with thoughts of Kinsley.

“I know. Odd. What else is going on today? What’d ya need me for?” She threw her purse down and hopped onto the bed. She appeared to be in a good mood.

“I wanted to ask if you would accidentally run into Kinsley at the café for me. Talk to her, and get an idea how she is. Try to get her to talk about what’s going on. Get any information you can. If she starts opening up, I’d specifically like to find out why she doesn’t call home if she’s unhappy. Shit, I know she’s unhappy. Anyone would be. Tell her she can call me if she needs anything.”