When the Heavens Fall (38 page)

After her visit to Quentin Winslow, Eden found herself
spending much time alone. She often spent the entire day reading the Bible that he had given her. At times she felt she understood nothing, but at other times the words would almost leap off the page, causing her to see truth about her life and her spirit. Her behavior obviously puzzled her parents. Both had approached her at different times asking what was troubling her, but she put them off with a feeble excuse.

Finally a thought came to her that shocked her at first, but it came repeatedly.
I must see Brandon! I must settle things between us or I shall go mad.
She was aware that some of the affection she'd felt for him was still in her heart, but she could not be certain how he felt about her.

She knew that Brandon was in Dover. She had a close friend named Helen Montrose who lived there. The two young women had visited each other several times, for Helen lived with her parents in a townhouse in the town. Eden made the arrangements with her parents and sent Helen a letter, which was answered at once:

For three days Eden spent most of her time with Helen Montrose. They went out every day and saw most of the sights of Dover. She didn't have the courage to face Brandon, and she reasoned that she didn't know where he was anyway.

Then on Thursday night at a small gathering at the home of one of Helen's friends, she heard a man say, “You know, I lost a lot of money to that Winslow fellow. I think he cheats, but I can't catch him at it.”

“I'd like to try him,” another man spoke up. “Where does he play?”

“Oh, at the Anchor and Albatross, but you'd better stay away from him. He can read the backs of those cards. I would have called him out, but I couldn't catch him at it.”

Eden turned away and filed the name of the inn in her mind.

The next day she spoke to a servant named Giles, a small, thin man with light-green eyes. “Giles, I want you to do something for me. I'll pay you well for it, but you must keep quiet.”

“I'm a living tomb, Lady Fairfax. What do you need?”

“There's a man called Brandon Winslow. He gambles at the Anchor and Albatross. I want you to find out where he lives.”

“Right! I'll let you know as soon as I find something.”

Eden was prepared to wait, but late that afternoon, Giles came back. “I found him, lady. He lives in a green house right across from the smithy. You know where that is?”

“Yes, I've seen it.” Eden reached into her pouch and fished out a coin. “Remember, you must keep quiet about this.”

“Quiet as the tomb, lady! Quiet as the tomb!”

Eden told Helen that she needed to look for a few items. For a long while she wandered the streets of Dover, and her courage almost failed her. But she prayed silently,
Lord, help me to do this thing. I need to make this right with Brandon.

She finally came to stand in the front of the smithy and
looked at the green house across from it. It was just as Giles had said, but now that the time had come to meet Brandon, she felt weak and terrified.
What will I say to him?
The thought seemed to claw at her nerves, and she almost turned and went back to Helen's house. But she had come for a reason. She straightened up, and her mouth drew into a tight line. She walked up to the door and knocked. There was a long silence, and she knocked again. The door opened and Brandon stood before her. He was unshaved and looked rough, but his voice was eager as he said, “Eden, I can't believe you're here!”

Eden had never felt so weak. She managed to whisper, “I—I need to talk to you, Brandon.”

Brandon gave her a long look then said, “Come, Eden, Let's get some air and go for a stroll.” But once they began their walk, he seemed so taken by surprise that he could not think of a word to say. Neither of them could find a way to break the silence. They reached the brink of the white cliffs of Dover. It was a beautiful, spectacular sight, the cliffs falling away sheer to the sea. The waves below curled, and the whitecaps battered the shore for miles, it seemed. Eden could not think of a single way to explain what she was doing there that did not sound half mad.

“What's the trouble, Eden?”

She saw that he was looking at her with compassion. She was embarrassed. “I went to hear your uncle preach.”

“Did you, now? What did you think?”

“I had never heard preaching before. I sometimes heard a sermon in Latin, which I don't understand, but I've never heard anything like your uncle's sermon in my life.”

“What was the sermon about?”

Eden went over the sermon slowly and thoughtfully. She saw that Brandon was watching her carefully. From far off came the boom of the surf, and overhead sea birds were calling in raucous cries, but he paid more attention to her than any of these. He stared at her intently as she concluded.

“Did you decide anything?” he asked.

“Your uncle told me that you can't be a real Christian unless you forgive your enemies.”

“That's true enough. It's set forth in the Bible very clearly.”

“He told me I would have to forgive you.”

Brandon blinked in surprise. “He said that?”

“Yes, he did.”

“And are you able to do that?”

“Oh, Brandon, I don't know! I've hated you for two years now. You deceived me. You made me think you loved me, and I believed you. I was such a silly fool!” Tears gathered in Eden's eyes. Brandon's face was blurred, but she felt him take her hand in both of his and hold it tightly. His touch was soothing and made what she had come to say easier.

“I can't blame you for hating me, Eden. It was the only way I could think of to get you out of that place. But let me say this.” He suddenly lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “At first I wanted to get you free in order to save my uncle, but by the time we were on the ship, and as we made our voyage, I realized that my feelings for you had changed.”

“Changed how?” Eden whispered. She was very aware of the warmth of his hand and the strength of it.

“I realized that I had been a fool for years and had never known what real affection was. When I found out what I felt for you—affection that I'd never felt for a woman—it was too late.”

“You truly had feelings for me?”

Brandon seemed to think deeply for a moment, then he spoke, and his voice was soft. “Every man has some sort of ideal of a woman in his head, some sort of picture. The kind of woman he wants. But usually it's a picture built up of more than one woman, not just one.”

“That's not very fair, is it, Brandon? How could a man ever get that in one woman?”

Brandon put his free hand on her shoulder and pulled her
closer. She saw in his eyes a softness, a gentleness, and yet a hunger that she recognized echoed her own.

“When a man finally gets his woman, he finds all those things in her that he wants to see.”

As he spoke, Eden found herself asking,
How much do I care about this man?
And the answer came. Love to a woman meant a heart that was full, as she had felt it in those early days for Brandon. It was a wild, strange, and ever-changing feeling, and nothing else was like it. She had always thought of love as something that came upon a woman like the striking of a bell, with a clarity that she had never heard. She thought of it as an understanding that passed from man to woman. She knew that this was happening to her again, and it both frightened her and gave her hope.

She caught his glance and held it. She knew she was beautiful. He was a man like all other men, she knew, with all the primal impulses. He put his arms around her, and she was glad that she had the power to stir him to the deepest of hungers. She longed to ease the sense of loneliness that resounded from him. He brought her to him with a quick sweep of his arm, and as he kissed her, she felt a thrill race through her. When she pulled her head back, she brushed his lips with her fingertips and swayed until she was against him again.

She was shaken and said, “Can we walk?”

“Yes, of course.” They walked along the edge of the cliff, both lost in thought.

Finally she stopped and turned to him. “It makes a big difference, Brandon, knowing that you truly had some feeling for me. That it wasn't all a lie. I can forgive you.”

He held her with his glance and said almost bitterly, “I have been a lost soul since the time you cast me off, Eden. I'm not a good man, I wish I were, but I'm not. But I'm glad you talked to my uncle. I hope you find God. It seems you already have.”

“I know the path there, anyway. And I hope the same thing for you, Brandon. You're breaking your parents' hearts.”

“I know. That's the worst of it.”

They looked out on the sea. The path was empty. It was this that gave Eden courage to speak. Finally she said with a strange intensity, “Brandon, I know so little about God. You've heard about Jesus all your life.” She spoke in a broken voice and tears were in her eyes, blurring her sight of him. “Can't we find God together? Your uncle told me that anyone who wants salvation has to do three things. I've been going over and over those things ever since I spoke with him. I suppose you know what those things are.”

Brandon stilled. “I think he probably told you that when anyone sins they must come to God and repent of their sins and they have to believe that Jesus is the Savior.”

“That's what he said. And he said that if I want to find peace with God, I have to call on God to save me by the blood of Jesus.”

“That's the Gospel, Eden. As you said, I've heard it all my life.” A bitter expression twisted his face. “I know how to find God, but I've never been able to do it.”

Eden's heart beat very fast, and as she looked intently into Brandon's face, she saw that he was deeply troubled. A thought came clearly to her:
If you don't call on God now, you may never have another chance.
She had a fullness in her throat and could only whisper, “Brandon, isn't it a decision? There is no mystery to solve. To accept him as Savior is just that, acceptance. Couldn't we call on God right now?”

Brandon didn't answer. His eyes brimmed with tears. She knew he wasn't a man who wept a great deal, but the sight of his face gave her courage to say, “Do you believe in Jesus?”

“Yes! I always have. But I've sinned so greatly. I don't see how God could forgive me.”

“But Jesus forgave the adulteress. Your uncle told me that Jesus would forgive every sin. I need only ask.”

A silence seemed to surround them and Eden felt so weak that she could barely stand. She cried out, “Brandon, we need God, both of us!”

It was then Brandon Winslow knew that he could not run from God any longer. He felt trapped, but along with that he felt a breath-stealing presence that could only be God. He said in a broken tone, “I need Christ in my life. I've needed him for so long. Let's kneel down right here and ask God to forgive us and to save us.”