When You Come to Me (38 page)

“I completely agree,” he replied. “Besides it’s more cost-efficient...”

“Since when do you care about spending a lot of money?” Natalie teased, nudging him

“I’ve changed, Nat,” he replied with a sigh. “I can’t put it any simpler than that...” “I know,” she quietly replied, smiling into him. “I can tell...” He attempted to kiss her, but she quickly broke free of his grasp, removed her sandals, hiked up her dress and ran toward the shore.

“Natalie, what the hell are you doing?” he asked her, removing his shoes and socks. She squealed, jumping through the water, diving in completely. Brandon was close behind her, removing his shirt and belt, jumping in after her. And by the time he reached her, she had already breached the surface again, startling him. He smiled as she pulled him in close, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him once.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked her, peeling back a clump of hair that had gotten stuck to her cheek.

She studied his eyes, grinning warmly, and whispered, “I’ve changed too...”

He kissed her again, longer and deeper this time. Then she pulled apart from him and gingerly ran her fingers along her cheek.

“Francis was right, Brandy,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t be afraid to show how I truly feel...I shouldn’t be afraid to tell you what I’m thinking...time is passing us by...and damn it, I love you, don’t I?”

“I love you too, Natalie,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose against hers.

“This is right, Brandon,” she replied, witlessly. “This is so right that it scares me...and you used to scare me...but I’m not afraid anymore...I refuse to be...”

“What are you trying to say...?”

“There are some things that I’ve been trying to tell you but I could never get them out,” she whispered, her voice splintering.

He grinned. “I have some things to tell you too...”

“You go first,” she offered.

He shook his head. “Not right here, not right now...”

She then grew anxious. “Just tell me, Brandy...why are you acting all weird...?” “I’m not trying to,” he replied. “We should talk when we’re alone tonight...”

“Am I going to like this conversation?”

He sighed and hesitated momentarily. “I’m thinking that you are...”

“Tonight, then?” He nodded. “Fine,” she sighed, rubbing his shoulders with her hands. “We should go meet up with Scotty and Asha...we’ve been isolating ourselves all weekend...”

“And that’s a bad thing?” he replied, leaning in to kiss her.

“Yes,” she replied, laughing. “We’ve got to do better...”

#

He remembered how he felt about Natalie three years ago, when they couldn’t have been any closer. He was firmly secure in the idea that their relationship could stand the test of time, as trite as that sounded, and he knew that every part of him wanted her by his side for the rest of his life. So, maybe that would explain why he’d pushed the notion that she was only twenty-years-old and hadn’t finished school yet out his mind. Being young and naïve was easier to admit than the idea that maybe she really didn’t want to marry him. And in that three year span, he knew that he needed to change in order to win her back: he wouldn’t pressure her into doing anything she wasn’t ready for; she had never been as susceptible to change as he was and it took him awhile to understand that. The fact that she was willing to give it another go, even after all the obstacles their relationship had gone through was indication enough that she may have been ready for a new leap – and perhaps it was his time to discern which one would be better.

He waited on the screen porch with Scotty, sipping slowly from a bottle of Corona.

“If you two losers looked any happier, I might be forced to throw up,” Scotty teased. Brandon stared outward into the quiet sound behind the house. The light in the day was dwindling slowly and steadily, but night was approaching swiftly, and with the darkness he would be forced to uphold his end of telling his Natalie exactly how he felt.

“Look at you,” Scotty continued. “All smug and quiet and shit...it’s as if she finally gave it up or something...”

“I wouldn’t tell you either way,” Brandon replied, placing the bottle to his lips again.

“Just like the old days,” Scotty chuckled, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t tell me a thing about that girl...like I was just going to ravage her or something...”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “Be honest, Scott...”

“Fine,” he replied, huffing. “Maybe I would have...but she’s like a sister to me now... I’d beat the shit out of any guy who thought of her that way...”

“Then you can imagine the way I felt about her then,” Brandon replied.

“She’s the only thing you did right in college,” Scotty admitted. “Don’t fuck it up this time...”

“Oh, I don’t plan on it...”

Natalie and Asha appeared a few minutes later. Brandon couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Her haircut, which now landed a few inches above the base of her neck, had grown on him to the point where he couldn’t imagine her looking any prettier. It now gave her a level of sophistication the he either didn’t notice before or simply wasn’t present. His eyes scanned her body, and it took him several seconds to notice that she was actually scowling at him.

“What’s
that
face for?” he asked her.

She pursed her lips and vehemently tossed his phone in his lap.

“Here,” she said. “You forgot your phone upstairs and I thought you might need it. You should really check your messages...I’m assuming they are important...with that said, Asha and I are going into Savannah to have dinner...by ourselves...”

Natalie began to walk away, Asha turned around and mouthed
I’m sorry
to him, and before she disappeared out of view, she yelled, “And you better not follow me!”

“What the hell was that about?” Scotty asked.

Brandon shrugged his shoulders and slowly glanced at his phone, realizing that he had three unread text messages:

I got your message from last night. It was good to hear from you. I’ve missed you.

We really should talk when you get back from the beach.

Is she with you? I can’t stop thinking about you...please don’t say it’s over between us.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he said, banging the phone into his forehead.

“What the hell is on that phone?”

“The last thing I ever wanted Natalie to see...”

“Didn’t you just say that you didn’t want to fuck it up with Natalie?”

“If he wants to break up with me then he should just do it,” Natalie said. “Why wait till tonight? I can have my bags packed and I’ll be gone in an hour...”

“You’re not going anywhere tonight as drunk as you are...”

“That’s why I have you, Ash,” Natalie replied, patting her friend on the back. “We can go back to Athens together...”

“No, hell no,” Asha said, shaking her head. “You’re dealing with this while you’re here...you and Brandon have come to fucking far for y’all to go out like this...”

“I disagree, Asha,” she replied. “I refuse to come between him and another girl...I refuse to...and if you say that him and Reina could’ve been some great one day, who am I to stop it from happening...”

“Natalie, just stop it! I was saying that to motivate you...not scare you away. Yes, Brandon is...retarded...you and I have known that for years...but that doesn’t mean he’s sleazy and deceitful...that doesn’t mean he’s trying to get back with her...for all you know she’s just crazy...”

“There you go, taking his side again,” Natalie slurred, rolling her eyes. “You’re always taking his side. Why is it that this one guy has the power to make me so miserable and happy at the same time? I don’t understand it...”

“It’s called being in love, Natalie...” “And you know what it makes me feel like, Ash? Pure shit...smelly, raw, bubbling

“How very poetic of you...”

“You-you know what...? I’ll tell you what...I’m glad...I’m so-so glad that I didn’t fuck him last night...you know why, Ash? You know why? Because I probably would’ve forgiven him...that’s what girls who sleep with their lovers do...they forgive them like fools...”

“You’re highly misinformed, Nat,” Asha chuckled. “And you’re going to forgive him... you’re a grownup now, remember?”

“Never!” Natalie yelled, banging her glass down on the table. “Because he’s never going to find me...and you better not tell him where we are, Ash...I swear to God if you do, our friendship is over...over, I tell you! You know what I’m going to do, Ash? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do...I’m going to find me a new boyfriend...and he’s not going to be white, he’s not going to have black hair, he’s not going to have big blue eyes that melt your soul, he’s not going to have broad He-man shoulders, or an infectious laugh, or great hugging capabilities or a huge penis or a melt-in-your-mouth kiss, or intelligence, and most importantly, he hasn’t fucked someone named Sophia or Reina in the past three years...I’m going to look for him right now...”

She sighed, pushed her unfinished drink out of the way, and slid off of the barstool. When she turned around, Brandon was standing right behind her, eyeing her sympathetically.

“No, no,” Natalie said, waving her hand from side to side. “Don’t give me those sad, puppy-dog eyes, Brandon...they’re not going to work, I tell you...I’m done with you...have fun with Reina...”

She began to walk away, but she quickly turned around, pointing her finger in Asha’s face. “And you...you sorry excuse for a best friend! You suck...you told him where we were, didn’t you? You
bitch
...”

“I’m sorry, Natalie,” she said. “I did what I thought was best...I love you both...you belong together...”

Brandon began tugging at her hand, pulling her toward the door, and she tried resist but was too weak in light of his strength and her intoxication.

“You don’t want anyone to think that we’re together, do you?”

“Yes,” he replied, quietly. “I want everyone to know. I want to shout it from the rooftops...”

“You’re full of shit,” she replied. “And you’ve always been full of shit...that’s why I’m going to find someone else...”

“I’m sure you are, Natalie...”

She pushed her hand out of his grasp and said, “Because you’re only going to leave me again...I’m going to wake up tomorrow and you’re going to be gone again...that’s what you do, Brandon...you walk away from me...”

When they returned to the house, Brandon briefly went into the kitchen to get her a glass of water then came back to her, forcing her to drink it, so that she could sober up enough to talk to him.

Once she’d finished, he took the glass from her hand and placed it back down on the counter. Scotty and Asha had left them alone minutes earlier, and he could sense her visible uneasiness about being alone with him then.

Nevertheless, he reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. She quickly snatched it away thereafter.

“Go ahead,” she said, waving her hand.

“Go ahead, what, Natalie?” he asked her, his impatience climbing.

“Go ahead and leave me,” she said. “I’ll close my eyes and pretend that I’m passed out..."

“I’m not going to leave you, Natalie...”

He extended his hand again, inviting her to grasp it. She only looked down at it, clicked her teeth, and looked back up at him again.

“Don’t do this right now...”

“If I take your hand, where are you going to take me? I want to watch you leave me this time. So that I know for sure that it’s over between us...”

Brandon pursed his lips to keep from saying something that he would soon regret. He tried to remind himself of Natalie’s tainted mindset. He also tried to remind himself that it would take much longer for her to forgive him of his ultimate fuck-up than he originally anticipated. He could think of only two things that would make it alright...

“I’m taking you somewhere that I should’ve taken you a long time ago,” he told her. “I’m not going to hurt you...”

“Right,” she mumbled, faltering a little. “You’ve already done enough of that already, haven’t you?”

He took another deep breath and turned to face her, steadying her with his two big hands. “Nat...
please
...”

“I ought to make you kiss each of my toes and grovel,” she replied, icily. She snatched her purse off of the counter.

“Just in case I need to call the cops on you...keep your damn hands to yourself...” He rolled his eyes. He helped her into Scotty’s SUV and clicked the seatbelt secure. She shoved at him a little.

“You’re too close, Greene,” she yelled. “Let’s make this a quick trip...I have some packing to do...”

She remained silent the entire ride, even when he purposely played one of her favorite songs from a CD that Scotty had stolen from her years ago. She only stubbornly crossed her arms at her chest, shook her head and turned her eyes toward the window.

This will be harder than I’d planned, he thought.

He pulled into small lot of gravel with a small boardwalk lifted at the end. They exited the car and he extended his hand for her to grasp again. She sighed, glaring at him unbendingly. It was then that he could tell she was finally sobering up.

She took his hand.

He led her onto the boardwalk; the tiny crystals of golden sand crunched beneath their step. The air was tepid, silent, still and the skies were remarkably clear. He liked leading her again, being in control of her movement, of her overall knowledge of the situation. He was surprised at how quiet and compliant she was being. His eased mind was spoiled; he was waiting for the moment that her tranquility would cease, and she’d question their whereabouts or their future together or why she chose to love him so much instead of hate.

They stepped onto the sand together and she removed her flip-flops. He took them from her and hooked his fingers around the straps of them.

They ambled along steadily in silence; she willingly grasped his hand a little tighter. The current of the black ocean seemed just as peaceful as she was, and the moon painted a silver streak along the panes of her hair. She kept her eyes darted blankly before her; he, defiantly, couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

They came along a series of beach houses, draped in shadows that spread along their exteriors like weeds to a sidewalk. And Natalie idled in front of one particular house, and Brandon could hear her pant as she rolled her lips in.