When You Were Mine (13 page)

“Yes,” Charlie says. “Obviously my life is a joke.”

Olivia nods in agreement, and Charlie shoves her. “I’m just trying to be supportive,” Olivia mumbles. “Anyway, I thought we were going to Malibu?”

“We cannot go to Malibu. We have a school dance. A dance we are
planning
.” Charlie looks at me, and I’m surprised to see her eyes are welling up. “I’m just so sick of doing everything all by myself.”

“You can’t let him get to you like this,” I say. I can’t believe she’s this upset about Jake. I mean, it’s Jake. He still thinks fart jokes are funny and refers to his parents by their first names.

But then I realize I have it all wrong, and I could practically kick myself for being so stupid. She’s not thinking about Jake. She’s thinking about her mom. She presses her fingertips against her temples, and it’s all I can do not to go over and lean my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her. She wouldn’t let me, though. Lunchtime in the courtyard is not the place she wants to be talking about her mom dying. Not that she likes to talk about her at all, actually. I think we’ve had exactly two conversations about it since her mom passed away in the seventh grade. The first was when we started high school. My mom took us shopping for back-to-school clothes, and Charlie started crying in the dressing room, saying how she wasn’t sure if she should buy this black sweater because her mom always said she looked so much prettier in color.

The second time was when she decided to sleep with Matt. She knew her mother wouldn’t approve, and she started asking me all these crazy questions about whether I believed in God and what if religion had it right and we were going to hell. Because really, she said, how would we know?

Charlie’s comment has silenced the three of us, and I’m not sure Olivia understands why, but she’s not saying anything either way.

When Charlie’s mom first got sick, Charlie slept over at my house for a week. She refused to go home. She wouldn’t even talk to her mom on the phone. I remember being terrified. I think I was more scared of her reaction than I was when her mom actually died. There is something about Charlie that is so hard sometimes. So set and determined. It was like she couldn’t figure out a theory on death, and until she did, she wasn’t going home.

“If you had to rank who is cutest in our class, who would you list as the top five?” Olivia asks, looking thoughtful.

“Do they have to be in order?” Charlie asks. She looks grateful for the subject change.

“Yes. But it has to be objective. Like, you can’t put Jake first.”

“Well, what if I think Jake is the cutest?”

Olivia considers this. “That’s fine, I guess. So we’d have Jake, Ben, obviously, Rob. Definitely Matt—” Charlie looks revolted at the mention of her ex, but Olivia continues. “Char, come on. It’s true.”

“Who would you put down?” Charlie asks me.

“Rob, I guess.”

Olivia nods, writing. She looks up, kind of sheepish. “You know who else I’d put?”

“Hmmm?” Charlie hums, pulling apart her sandwich.

“Len.” Olivia bites her lip and looks at Charlie.

“Len?” Charlie balks.

“You’re kidding,” I echo.

Olivia squints at the entrance to the cafeteria. Len is standing there talking to Dorothy Spellor. I wonder if they’re dating, but I doubt it. Somehow he doesn’t exactly seem like the boyfriend type.

“That’s nauseating,” Charlie says.

“I just don’t see it,” I say. “His hair is greasy.”

“Exactly,” Olivia says, eyebrows raised. “It’s sexy.”

“Are you attracted to the drive-through guy at McDonald’s too?” I ask.

“Funny.” Olivia looks back down at her list. “There’s just something interesting about him, you know? Like there’s more to him than meets the eye. Stuff we don’t know about him.”

“He’s an idiot,” Charlie says. “That’s really all I need to know.”

I glance back at Len. He’s juggling two apples, then tossing one to Dorothy. She smiles.

“Hey.”

I turn around, and Juliet is standing there. She has changed
outfits since I last saw her, or maybe it’s just that she now has a bright pink cardigan over her white dress. She’s balancing a tray with a sandwich and an apple. I’m happy she decided to join us. Maybe it’s a first step.

“Here, sit.” I gesture next to me, and Olivia reluctantly moves over.

Charlie gives me a sideways glance with her eyebrow arched—
Who is this girl?
The only people who ever eat with us are Jake and Ben and Rob, and maybe Lauren, but generally only if SAC’s afternoon meeting has been canceled or we have business to discuss. Charlie would say inviting a stranger to sit with us without checking with the others first is not appropriate courtyard behavior. But Juliet’s not a stranger. She’s my cousin.

“Hey,” Olivia says. She lifts her hand off the table and gives a small wave. “How’s your first day going?” Her words are a little slurred. She has her lunchtime apple stuck in her mouth.

Charlie clears her throat, and I interrupt. “Sorry. This is my cousin, Juliet. Juliet, this is Charlie.” I flip a casual hand in Olivia’s direction. “You guys met this morning.”

Charlie smiles coolly. “You’re from LA, right?”

“Yeah,” Juliet says. She doesn’t question where Charlie got her information, but why would she? Her move was announced on the front page of the paper. I’m sure she’s used to strangers knowing her life story.

She plays with the edges of her napkin, and everyone goes back, more or less, to eating.

“So what’s the deal with the guys at this school?” Juliet asks.

“Do you have a boyfriend at home?” Olivia says.

“Not really. My parents think I do. Some intern from my dad’s office.” She waves her free hand around like even the idea is ridiculous. “His name is Paris. Can you imagine?”

Olivia smiles. “I once dated a guy named Belgium.”

“That wasn’t his real name,” Charlie interrupts. “Anyway, the boys here are okay. We
tolerate
them. Well, besides Rose.”

Charlie winks at me, and I can feel my face get hot.
Please don’t say his name. Please don’t say his name.

“What’s up with you?” Juliet asks me.

“Nothing,” I say. I glare at Charlie and search for her leg under the table.

“She’s dating the best guy in school,” Charlie says, unfazed. “It’s totally unfair. He’s, like, the only good one.”

“Hey!” Olivia interjects.

“Oh, please.” Charlie rolls her eyes. “Ben is my brother. It’s well within my rights to call him an ass.”

“So far I’ve only seen one who I think is pretty hot,” Juliet says.

“Yeah?” Charlie says, leaning over me. “Len?” She looks at Olivia and winks.

Juliet shrugs. “Dunno his name. We didn’t meet. Cute,
though. Blue T-shirt, khaki shorts. Great body. Totally my type.”

I swallow. Hard.

Rob has on a blue T-shirt today. Rob is also wearing khaki shorts. Is it possible she wouldn’t recognize him after all these years?

Charlie clearly hasn’t caught on, because she mumbles something about pointing him out. “You’re pretty,” she says, looking Juliet over, “and boys at this school are idiots. You’ll do just fine.”

Charlie has a rule about new friends. It’s really simple: She doesn’t make them. Not good ones, anyway. She says loyalty is hard to come by, and once you find it, you hold on to it. She doesn’t trust new people. It took her almost a year to get to the point where she really let Olivia in. I know Charlie isn’t being incredibly welcoming to Juliet, but I’m impressed she’s being this nice.

“Are you coming to the dance tomorrow?” Olivia asks.

Juliet looks up from her sandwich. “I didn’t know there was one.”

Olivia nods enthusiastically. “Fall Back. We plan it. We’re on the social committee.”

“We
are
the social committee,” Charlie corrects. I can tell she’s wishing Olivia would stop talking. We can both see where this is going.

“We’ve decided not to bring dates, though,” Olivia says.

“Why?” Juliet looks put off, but it’s hard to tell if that’s just
her permanent face. Everything seems like it mildly offends her.

“We’re spending some girl time?” Olivia looks at Charlie to clarify. Charlie just rolls her eyes. “Anyway,” Olivia says, “you’re welcome to come with us.”

“Thanks.” Juliet glances at Taylor Simsburg as he passes. Olivia notices and opens her mouth to object, or something, but Charlie pipes up first.

“Here come the Three Musketeers now,” she says.

Ben, Jake, and Rob are headed our way. Jake is wearing a baseball cap, so I know immediately he will be fighting with Charlie. They’re illegal on school grounds, and Charlie is constantly saying things like “Why don’t you get in trouble for something worthwhile?”

Rob, as I thought, is wearing a blue T-shirt and khaki shorts, and the second he comes into view, Juliet squeals, “That’s him!” It’s the most animated I’ve seen her get about anything all day. Italy included.

“Who?” Charlie says. She’s already accusing. There is no good option out of the three.

“Blue T-shirt,” Juliet says, clearly not catching on to Charlie’s tone. She pulls a tube of lip gloss out of her Tod’s purse. I put my sandwich down. All of a sudden I feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.

Charlie opens her mouth wide and looks at me, but by the
time she is ready to say something, the boys are already at the table. Juliet is delicately blotting the edges of her mouth with a napkin. I wonder what her power move is. Whatever it is, I have a feeling I’m about to see it.

Thankfully, Rob comes over and stands directly behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I lean my head back on his stomach and close my eyes, briefly. It’s the most forward I’ve been with him in public, but I want to do something to show Juliet that he’s taken. That he’s mine.

“This is Juliet,” Olivia says to Ben, who has scooted himself in next to her and is picking off her plate.

“You have no manners,” Charlie announces.

“Tell Dad,” Ben says, winking.

Rob takes one of his hands off my shoulders and extends it to Juliet.

“It’s been forever,” he says. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Oh my God. Rob?”

Rob laughs. “Yep, that’s me.” His voice is soft, and he lets his hand brush the back of my arm.

She nods and bites her lower lip. I study her, closely. That might be it. The power move, I mean. It’s hard to tell. A lot about her seems, well,
structured.
Like she’s got a plan. One thing she doesn’t seem is surprised. Not shocked that Rob is clearly with me. Not even remorseful of calling him hot.

“How’s your first day back?” he asks.

“Okay, I guess,” she says, not taking her eyes off him. “Better now.” She glances quickly at me and Charlie to show she doesn’t just mean Rob. “Hey, are you going to the dance tomorrow?”

For a second I’m not sure who she’s addressing, but then Rob lifts his hand off my hair, and I see Juliet is staring at him.

“Think so,” he says.

“Be my date.”

I can’t possibly have heard her right. She did not just invite Rob, my Rob, to be her date to the school dance. His hand is on my shoulder. We’re
touching
.

“Oh, come on, Rose,” Juliet says. “You girls are going together. Lend him out. I don’t know anyone else. And it would be good to catch up.” Her tone of voice has changed. She’s talking to me like we actually
are
cousins. Like we’ve known each other for forever and she’s asking to borrow my gray sweater. Not Rob.

I look at Charlie. I’m desperate to have her say something, anything, but she has ripped the baseball hat off of Jake’s head and is waving it around. She might as well be in the math cubicles, she’s so far away now. Olivia is whispering something to Ben and giggling. I’m alone here.

Rob will turn her down. Any second now he will say “Sorry, I don’t think so” or “You should go with the girls.” But he doesn’t say any of those things. I arch around, and he’s staring at her. His
expression has changed. He looks confused. Like he doesn’t know the answer.
How could he possibly not know the answer?

“Come on,” Juliet says slowly. “It’s just a dance.” She bites her lip again.

“You should really come with us,” I interject. “It’ll be fun, and we’re getting ready at Olivia’s. Her house is, like, the size of Texas.” I’m pulling out all the stops, but Juliet’s house is probably better stocked than Olivia’s. I doubt this is even tempting her.

“I want to go with Rob,” Juliet says.

Here’s the thing about me: I’ve never liked confrontation. Ever since I was little, I’ve been terrified of upsetting people. I’d much rather just keep the peace. Which is fine, usually, but it also means I have absolutely no idea what to do now. Charlie is the one who can tell people off, the one who has no trouble standing up for herself. And me? Well, I’m used to standing behind her.

I’m still wrestling with how to handle this when I hear Rob speak behind me. One word: Sure.