Where All Souls Meet (9 page)
Read Where All Souls Meet Online
Authors: S. E. Campbell
Darkness surrounded Eden again as she searched for something to help her get a grasp on reality. No matter how many times she was thrown into this world, confusion was as pressing as the darkness around her. Far down below her, there remained the same white disk of light. She catapulted toward it fast and found herself standing by a bed. For the first time, Eden was all the things she had wanted to be when she was alive. She was tall but curvy with perfect hair. Eden felt her mind meld with her mom's; her mom's thoughts danced in her consciousness as if they were her own.
Rebecca headed toward the mirror and gazed into it. This Rebecca was young, eighteen, with perfect pale skin and arched eyebrows. Her hair was long, wavy, and tousled. She wore a short skirt which grazed her upper thighs and would have revealed everything had she bent over.
I need to lose weight before the show.
Rebecca gripped her non-existent stomach and groaned.
The fashion show means more to me than anything.
After somebody knocked on the door, Rebecca whirled around.
"Ms. Badman, your friend, Ms. Smithfield has arrived," a male voice said.
"Send her in," Rebecca said. "Do what you always do."
"Just one moment," the man said.
Rebecca continued to examine her reflection. A moment later the door opened and a blonde-haired girl with big blue eyes and high cheek bones stepped in the room. The blonde was two inches taller than Rebecca who was already 6'3. Unlike Rebecca, though, this woman was painfully thin and had no curves. There were bags under her eyes.
"Oh, Lizzy," Rebecca said. "What happened? You lookâ¦"
Skeletal. Gross.
"Thin."
Lizzy grinned weakly and sat on the bed. "I still have five pounds to lose. Last week, the photographer wouldn't take me. He said I had to go home and get some rest. I knew what he truly meant. Come back when you lose those pounds."
Rebecca sat on the bed next to Lizzy. "He didn't mean it. I think he meant you were too thin and you look⦠you lookâ¦"
The last time I told her the truth, she got so angry with me she wouldn't look me in the eye for a week.
"Just spit it out," Lizzy said, picking at her fingernails. "What is it? What's wrong with me?"
"You look sick," Rebecca said truthfully.
"Sick," Lizzy said, leaping into the standing position. "You are just horrible. Just because you get to do a fashion showâ"
"Come on," Rebecca said. "Don't be such a drama queen. It's ridiculous."
As her friend glanced at the door in defiance, Rebecca stood and positioned herself so Lizzy couldn't leave. The model tried to push past her but was so weak she couldn't even jostle her. In frustration, Rebecca grabbed her arm.
"This is silly," Rebecca said. "You know I love you."
"Hmph."
"How long has it been since you last ate, Lizzy?" Rebecca asked.
In silence, Lizzy regarded her with gritted teeth. Lizzy stormed past her and rushed out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
Oh, man. Here we go again. Everybody at the salon is going to hear about what a selfish idiot I am.
Rebecca swore, and then walked toward the door. When she opened it, the male housekeeper, who had been cleaning a vase on an expensive looking dresser, gazed at her with concern. She wondered whether he had been listening to them fight.
"Going somewhere, Ms. Badman?" he asked.
"The pier," Rebecca said.
"You've been going there a lot lately, Ms. Badman," he said.
"Yeah, yeah." Rebecca frowned. "Do you know if my parents will actually be home today, or will they be out flitting who knows where again?"
"Mrs. Badman sent me a schedule informing me she and Mr. Badman will be in Sydney for the next week and a half." His grey-blue eyes softened. "Did Mrs. Badman not inform you she was leaving?"
No, of course she didn't.
But Rebecca loathed the pity in the servant's eyes. She knew he had seen her suffer for the past eighteen years. He had started working at their house the year she was born.
"I'm going," Rebecca said, frowning at the wood floor. "Don't wait up."
"Be careful with the boy you're meeting, Ms. Badman."
Eden was jerked from Rebecca's memory and hovered someplace in-between. Eden had known her grandparents were wealthy, but not wealthy enough to have a mansion. They had had a servant, even. Had her mom truly given all of it up? She frowned at the revelation as the darkness swarmed her and she shot downward toward the disk of light yet again.
When Eden entered the disk, she blinked and tried to get her bearings straight. She was Rebecca wearing a black and green checkered suit with shimmering beads on the hem. Rebecca's hair had been teased up into a tight knot at the back of her head and her lipstick was a vivid slash of red. Judging by the stage, she was at some sort of fashion walk. A female makeup artist walked up behind Rebecca and tugged at the edge of the suit.
"Hi, Kiki."
Not her again. Bother.
"Oh, you look so beautiful," Kiki said. "I love it when they give you a green suit to go with your red hair."
"Thank you," Rebecca said.
Is it time for me to go on yet?
"I bet you are just thrilled you get to go to Fashion Week," Kiki said. "Aren't you?"
"Yes," Rebecca answered. "Anybody would, right?"
"I have never even stepped foot in Europe," Kiki said. "I would just die if Iâ"
The stage director, a short, plump man in a white suit, waved Rebecca over to where a line of girls stood.
"What are you doing, Rebecca?" the stage director asked. "Get over here.
Now
."
"Sorry, sir," Rebecca said.
Safe.
Rebecca grinned and nodded at Kiki before walking toward the line. As she moved, she heard the sound of the phone ringing to her right. One of the stage crew grabbed it and answered and to her shock, he whirled around and gazed at her. Most of the crew knew the names of the models because they were regulars.
"For you," he said.
"I can't come. Not now." Rebecca frowned. "I'mabout to start."
Who would call me now?
She shook her head at the man and then headed to the line of other models, fluffing her hair. To her shock, the man persisted and followed her.
She whipped around and glared at the man.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Your friend," he said. "She was sent to the hospital. I thought you would want to at least know."
"What?" Rebecca said. "Who?..."
But then she realized there was only one person it could be. Lizzy.
"Lizzy, oh no," she said.
The model in front of her moved to head out onto the stage, her head held high. For a minute, Rebecca paused.
My whole life, being a model is all I've ever wanted.
Yet she stilled, took a step back, and then turned around and headed for the door.
Eden was once again ripped from Rebecca's body and surrounded by darkness. She blinked in shock and glanced upward, toward the sky.
My mom would give up her show for her friend?
It was so hard to believe, after all she had been though with her mom. Before she could think through it, though, she was spiraling toward the white disk of light once more.
****
When Eden entered Rebecca's body, she stood in a cold, white hospital room whose single window faced an oak tree. Lizzy sat in the hospital bed staring outside. She looked tired. Dead. A skeleton with a thin layer of cool, pale skin stretched over the surface. Her friend's hand gripped the railing of the hospital bed.
"Lizzy," Rebecca said. "Oh, heavens."
The girl glanced at her with glazed eyes.
"What?" Lizzy asked.
"I knew you were thin, but sitting here like this⦠You look emaciated," Rebecca said. "How could I have ever let it get this bad, as a friend?"
"I'm fine," her friend said, crossing her hands in front of her. "Like I've been telling all the doctors and everybody else. I just have a cold. Honestly."
Rebecca stared down at Lizzy's hand. Her skin was the color of snow and the prominent bones underneath it, like a bird's delicate foot. With a shudder, Rebecca sat and took Lizzy's hand within her own.
"I love you, Lizzy," Rebecca said, tears blurring her eyes. "The doctor said you threw up blood and they're going to have to send you to a special hospital for a while."
"Yeah," Lizzy said. "I keep telling them I don't need it. I hate these doctors. I hate them."
"They're just trying to help you."
Lizzy frowned. "They saw my handbag and said, 'This girl looks rich. Let's stick it to her parents.'"
"You're sick," Rebecca said.
Both of them were silent for a moment. Lizzy glared at her and then her features softened. Her face paled as she bit her lip, and the dark moons beneath her eyes appeared even more prominent in her sadness.
"Let's not fight," Lizzy said. "I've been fighting with the doctors all afternoon. They want to put a feeding tube in me, and I refuse to let it be done. Let's talk about something else."
"Wait," Rebecca said. "You're refusing to eat? Can you do that?"
"Oh, Rebbeca, you're being so silly." Lizzy patted her shriveled stomach. "Just until I lose five pounds⦠But the doctors are being ridiculous and won't let me near a scale. I'll tell you a secret, though. I got out yesterday and weighed myself. I am down to one hundred pounds. Isn't it great? Just five more⦠Five more and everything will be okay."
"One hundred pounds," Rebecca said faintly. "Lizzy, the thinnest model on our team is one hundred and five. You are tall. We are both tall. You can't weigh this little and still survive."
"Rebecca." Lizzy scowled at her.
"No, Lizzy," said Rebecca. "I
love
you. You're my best friend. But you're also not mentally capable right now. They have to be able to feed you."
With a huff, Rebecca stood up and stormed to the door
. This isn't happening. It isn't.
She was in such a hurry she almost trampled a doctor who was on his way in. Frustrated, she had to hold herself back from grabbing onto his shirt and shaking him until his teeth clacked together.
"You," Rebecca said. "Give Lizzy a feeding tube. Do whatever you have to do. Just do it
now
, before she dies and I lose the only friend I've ever had."
The doctor paused. "You're her friend?"
"Yes," Rebecca said. "An angry friend who wants her well."
"We're doing everything we can for her," he said. "We're trying to get her to eat on her own without having to resort to the tube. Involuntary treatment can be counterproductive in cases likeâ"
"I don't care, as long as she lives," Rebecca said. "Please. Just help her."
"We are doing our best," the doctor said. "Miss⦠are you all right?"
Rebecca suddenly felt sick and placed her hand over her stomach. Shuddering, she whirled around and sprinted for the bathroom down the hall. After she opened the door and stumbled inside, she ran into a stall. She threw up and stared at the bright orange mish-mash inside, shivering.
Stress. It's from stress.
But she couldn't get Osier's face out of her mind.
Eden was ripped from Rebecca and hovered in the darkness yet again. The darkness was all consuming, surrounding her. She felt as though she drowned in it. She began to plummet quickly toward the disk of white light, entered it and found her thoughts mingling with Rebecca's again.
Rebecca stood at the outside of Lizzy's door. A doctor and a team of nurses surrounded her. Lizzy appeared even thinner and blood splattered the sheets.
"She tried to pull out the feeding tube," one of the nurses said.
"Not cooperating at all," said the other. "She's going to hurt herself."
Rebecca shuddered and stared down at her feet. It felt like she was in a waterfall of emotion that she could not pull herself from. The waters of confusion and anxiety churned around her, and she knew that when she reached the bottom of the slide, the impact was going to be as hard as cement. And that frightened her even more.
Digging into her pocket, she pulled out her cell phone and glanced at the calendar. The next day was highlighted. It was the next day, the day after the highlighted square box, and it said, "Shoot in Paris!" With a quivering hand, Rebecca entered the calendar screen and hit the Delete button over the event. Hanging her head, she put her phone back into her pocket and thought,
Maybe next year. Just maybe. Perhaps Lizzy's illness will all be a bad memory.
Once again, Eden was ripped from the memory. Darkness overcame her. Then she was sliding back to the light again. Eden became Rebecca sitting in a hospital, but this hospital room was different.
The room was darker. Rebecca sat at Lizzy's side, holding onto her hand. Her skin sunk in to the point it revealed every bone in her face, and every last bone could be seen through the thin tapestry of her skin. Rebecca shuddered as she stared at it. Her face appeared horrible. Rebecca was sure that death would come any moment, feeling its specter hovering just above the bed.
I can't believe she's not gaining weight. The doctors⦠How could they let this happen to her?
But she knew the truth. She knew Lizzy had done this to herself, despite everything.
"Lizzy, why?" Rebecca leaned over the bed and sobbed. "Why is this all happening now? You're my best friend, practically my sister. My parents were never around, but you always were. I know your family is all gone now, but you have me. Did you have to do this to yourself? I love you. Wasn't it enough?"
There was no response. Lizzy remained unmoving. A corpse.
"I'm pregnant, you know," Rebecca said. "Pregnant."
Once again there was silence except for the sound of the monitors.
"I want to get rid of it, but the baby's father keeps trying to stop me." Rebecca shook. "The day I was going to go to the clinic, he⦠He found out about it from one of my friends and he actually followed me to the clinic and dragged me out of it. I almost called the police. He keeps yelling about how he'll take the baby, even if I don't want it. How would he raise a baby? He's a poor college kid. He can't even care for himself. And think about me. How will I care for a baby? I can't even take care of myself. I'd never â oh. Sorry. You probably didn't want to hear about it, huh? Well, you were always the tiny one. You'll alwaysâ¦
always
⦠be great."
Her breathing came in short, painful, desperate wheezes.
"Who am I kidding? I can't get rid of the baby. I can't. You know what babies are like. They have those cute fingers and little toes. Can you imagine the clothes?" Rebecca shuddered as she forced a smile on her face. "I'm going to need your help. You know I am no good with dealing with situations like this. I'll be the most horrible mother ever."
Lizzy did not respond.
"Oh, please, please, wake up," Rebecca said. "Please."
Silence was as present as oxygen, but not as easy to inhale. Rebecca stared at her friend, squeezing her thin fingers so hard her own hand ached. Her bottom lip quivered.
"I gave up my fashion show for you, Lizzy," Rebecca said. "The one thing I've always wanted more than anything else in the whole world. You understand why you have to wake up now, don't you?
Don't you
?"
Eden was ripped away from the memory, but while her thoughts reached out to Lizzy, she also thought on something else too. Rebecca and Osier.
"I want to get rid of it, but the baby's father won't let me."
But Rebecca had decided not to abort. No matter how much her dad had pleaded with her to keep Eden, it had been Rebecca's choice in the end. The law gave him no real say in the matter, either.
"I gave up my fashion show for you, Lizzy."
The words echoed in her ears.
"I gave up my fashion show for you."
Those words were true for Lizzy and Eden. Her mom had given up the one thing she wanted more than anything else in the world to raise her. Her mom may have been selfish, she may have resented her in the end, but even with her selfishness, there was love. And her love showed through even though Eden had never heard the words.
It was now, as Eden floated in darkness, that she felt the broken seams of her heart begin to mend. She had seen how much her mom would sacrifice for her, for others, in the name of love. She had never thought in somebody else's grief, she could heal herselfâbut she had. Her mom had shown she would be willing to keep her, even if she had to give up the one thing she loved above all others.
Eden saw white light and knew she headed back to Purgatory. And her mom.
