Where Angels Tread (25 page)

“Please call me if you see him,” Heidi said to the mother of Zachary’s teammate, then hung up the phone and rubbed her aching temples. She glanced at the clock; it was well past eight o’clock, and the darkness outside was pressing in on her, suffocating her. Zachary was out there somewhere, roaming the streets alone, while Heidi paced the house and gnawed her fingernails down to the stubs.

History, she thought, peering out through the curtains, seemed to be repeating itself. From the moment she first broke the news to Zachary that she and Shane were no longer together, her son had walled her out, retreating into himself the way he did for so long after John’s death. Now, this afternoon, she had received a new letter from his principal, informing her that Zachary was once more cutting class. What was worse, she knew, was the phone call from his basketball coach, wondering whether Zachary was sick.

“He hasn’t been to practice in three weeks,” the coach had said while Heidi clutched at the wall for support. “I thought he was under the weather, but if he’s just skipping out I’m going to have to replace him with someone else. There are a lot of boys on the benches, waiting for a shot at starting the games. Tell Zachary if he wants to play again this year he better get his act together.”

His eleventh birthday, a mere three days after Shane’s abrupt departure from their lives, had been a dismal affair. For weeks in advance, Heidi and Shane had planned a special surprise for the big day; Shane had pulled strings at work to score tickets to the Lakers basketball game in Los Angeles. Even though Heidi still took the day off from work to drive Zachary down to the game, Shane’s absence was so conspicuous that Heidi could practically taste it. Zachary, sensing that Shane was missing from their celebration, though Heidi neglected to mention that he was originally supposed to join them, slumped down into his chair for the duration of the game, barely even watching the players running up and down the court.

Afterwards, the two of them had stopped off at the beach to feed the seagulls, one of Zachary’s favorite activities as a child. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Heidi had snapped photo after photo of the birds flocking to Zachary’s outstretched hand as he half-heartedly tossed chunks of bread to them. A few days later, when Heidi picked the photos up from the print shop, she could see nothing but disappointment and misery present in every inch of his slouched body.

The following day, Zachary began disappearing after school once more, leaving Heidi to drive the shadowy streets aimlessly, calling his name from the open car window. She had a hunch, though Zachary would never admit it, that he was hoping for the police to pick him up again in the off chance that he’d be able to see Shane.

Heidi had made a judgment call not to reveal to Zachary the reason why she had decided to erase Shane from their lives. The pain she experienced, knowing that Shane was responsible for John’s death, was all-consuming, and she didn’t want her son to feel the loss of his father all over again. Not now, when she thought that Zachary had finally begun to heal. It would be better, Heidi had decided, to say that while Shane loved them, the two of them had decided to just stay friends.

“Do you think he’ll still come by sometimes to play basketball with me?” Zachary had asked through tearful eyes. Heidi didn’t have the heart to say no. But when Shane failed to show up that week or the next, Zachary stopped peering out of the window anxiously, waiting for his car to drive down the street. The basketball now lay discarded in the hall closet, hidden from sight under a pile of coats and shoes.

Heidi was so consumed with worry over her son’s behavior that she had not yet dealt with her own feelings over losing Shane, the man she had fallen so deeply in love with. His absence from her life was raw and painful; she could feel it in every breath that she took. On more than one occasion, she had scrolled through her phone and stared at his number, only to quietly slide it back into her purse. She wasn’t angry at Shane, and she didn’t blame him for John’s death; she knew that it was an accident that he deeply regretted. But there was no way that she would be able to look into Shane’s eyes and see anyone other than John. A future with Shane was out of the question.

The phone rang, and Heidi jumped up to answer it, her heart pounding in her chest. What if it was the police calling to tell her that Zachary had been hurt? She bit back a wave of nausea that rose in her throat. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Heidi Griffin?” A male voice that Heidi didn’t recognize filled the line. She swayed slightly where she was standing, clutching the edge of the wall for support.

She closed her eyes tightly to ward off the terrible news she knew was coming. “Yes,” she whispered.

“My name’s Buddy Sanders, and I work for the Santa Ynez Police Department.”

“Oh God,” Heidi cried. “Where is he? What happened to him?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Aren’t you calling to tell me about my son?”

The man on the other line cleared his throat awkwardly. “No, ma’am, I was calling about Shane Kensington.” A second wave of nausea passed through Heidi’s stomach, and she fumbled for the television remote to turn on the evening news. She had been so preoccupied with Zachary that she hadn’t heard any reports that day, and the images of Zachary lying dead in a ditch somewhere were quickly replaced with Shane. She scanned the channels rapidly. “Are you still there?” the voice asked.

“Yes.” Heidi braced herself for the man’s next words.

“My apologies for scaring you, but I’m not calling on any kind of official business.” Heidi let out a sigh of relief; she slid down the wall and sat cross-legged on the floor, holding the phone in one shaking hand. “I know this may not be my place, but Shane is my partner and best friend, and I was wondering if I could stop by sometime to talk to you about him?”

Heidi frowned. “I’m not sure if Shane mentioned to you then that we broke up a few weeks ago. Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ll be able to help you.”

“See, the thing is,” the man said hesitantly, “is that you’re kind of my last resort. Shane’s been putting himself in unnecessary danger lately, and I need someone who would be able to get through to him. I’ve tried, and so has his family, but he won’t listen to any of us. I know how much he cares about you, and…well, we hope you can maybe break through to him.”

“I’m sorry,” Heidi said, pushing back the image of Shane’s face swimming through her mind, “but I just don’t think that’s a good idea. Shane and I—we aren’t going to see each other anymore, and I don’t think having me talk to him is going to help either one of us. Right now, I need to focus on my son. I hope you can understand.”

She pulled the phone away from her ear, and after hesitating for a fraction of a second, ended the call. Although she loved Shane and normally would do anything in her power to help him through whatever was happening, she knew that the only way for either of them to heal would be to never see each other again. Reopening wounds that were still so fresh could only lead to more heartbreak, and Heidi was certain that neither of them would be able to recover from it.

Hidden by the dense coverage of the trees blanketing the sky above him, Shane sat in his car, his eyes focused on a homeless camp set deep into the hills above the valley. Surrounded by nothing but twisting dirt roads too narrow for a car to traverse, it was the perfect setting for someone who needed a place to go undercover. Shane was familiar with the camp, having visited it on more than one occasion for a drug bust.

It had now been two weeks since he had returned to the police force with guns blazing, so to speak. He had a new, focused determination that was evident to everyone around him. Shane wouldn’t rest until he personally hunted down Sam Shephard.

He had become a man obsessed. After his shift each day, which he spent roaming the streets with Buddy, stopping anyone who looked suspicious, he would take his own car out into the darkest parts of the town, places that could easily obscure a person who had everything to hide. Despite the pleas of his family and Buddy, Shane had no intention of stopping until the man responsible for ruining so many lives was behind bars. His determination was only strengthened that morning when Palen broke the news that Nick, one of the first men Shephard shot, would need to rely on a wheelchair for the rest of his life. His career as a police officer was effectively over.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are, you bastard,” Shane whispered, his right hand clenched on the butt of his gun. He had reported his suspicions about Shephard’s whereabouts to Palen, but the chief had seemed less than convinced.

“We’re offering a ten thousand dollar reward, Kensington,” he had said, glancing up from the report he was reading. “His face is plastered all over town. Do you really think that a group of homeless people wouldn’t recognize him and turn him in? If anyone could use the money, it’s them.”

“I really think we should stake it out,” Shane had replied, clutching the edge of Palen’s desk so hard that his knuckles turned white. “Just in case. I have a strong suspicion that he’s out there, but I haven’t been able to confirm it yet.”

Palen set down the highlighter he was holding and peered at Shane over the tips of his fingers. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, Shane, but I’m starting to get suspicious. You’re volunteering for double shifts, coming into the station early and leaving late, trying to convince me to let you take the most dangerous patrol areas. Normally I would be pleased to have an officer so determined to help, but I have a feeling there’s something else going on here. And I don’t like it.”

“I just want to bring this guy to justice,” Shane had said.

“We’re doing everything we can, and believe me, we’ll catch him eventually. He’s mentally unstable, and it’s only a matter of time before he gives himself up. In the meantime, I do not want you going out to that homeless camp. You and Buddy are responsible for patrolling downtown, and right now I want it to stay that way. Do you understand?”

Shane was undeterred. “I can do it on my own. Put someone else with Buddy for now. Or maybe I can check it out after my shift is over.”

Palen stood up and leaned forward so that he and Shane were practically nose to nose. “I must not be making myself clear here, Kensington. I forbid you to go out there. You may not have been in attendance at Kelly’s funeral, but I sure as hell was. And I am not going to have another one of my officers gunned down by some lunatic. Now take whatever personal problems you have right now and shove them aside, because I need everyone to be at the top of their game.”

With that, Palen had resumed reading his report. Shane knew himself to be dismissed; he turned, and without another word, stormed angrily from the office.

But despite Palen’s warnings, Shane had spent the last two nights camped out in front of the shadowed hill, peering up at the orange light reflecting down from the campfires flickering in the inky black sky. Shephard was out there, Shane knew, and he was prepared to wait for as long as it took.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Heidi called as she padded toward the front door. It was her day off from the emergency room, and she planned to spend the time before Zachary came home from school relaxing in her bed with a good mystery book and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Therapy, Josie had called it when Heidi confided her plans.

She was just turning the page to find out the name of the murderer when the doorbell rang, sending her book flying through the air in alarm. Brushing the crumbs from her lips, she ran a comb through her hair and straightened her t-shirt.

She peered through the front window. Standing on her front porch were a burly man with a blond buzz cut and a pretty woman about Heidi’s age, with brown hair and light blue eyes that looked strangely familiar. Heidi opened the door a few inches and stuck her head outside. “Can I help you?”

The woman smiled anxiously at Heidi and offered her hand to shake. “I’m Jaime Kensington, Shane’s sister. And this is Buddy Sanders. I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but can we please come in?”

Heidi regarded the two of them warily. “Buddy Sanders,” she said, addressing the man. “Aren’t you the one who called me last week?”

Buddy inclined his head slightly in agreement. “That’d be me.”

“But I thought I told you that I wasn’t able to help.” Heidi moved her hand to the doorframe, preparing to close it, but Jaime held out a hand to stop her.

“Wait, please.” Heidi was startled to see tears forming behind the woman’s eyes, which were the exact same color and shape as Shane’s. She had to look away to stifle the ball of emotion rising in her chest; how often she had stared into his eyes and seen the promise of future happiness reflected in them. If only circumstances had been different.

After hesitating for another moment, she opened the door and ushered them inside. “Okay, but I’m really not sure how much help I could possibly be. I haven’t seen or talked to Shane in a month. We didn’t exactly end on good terms.”

“I know,” Jaime said, pushing her hair behind her ears and perching on the edge of the couch. “Shane told us what happened, about the accident.”