Where I Wanna Be (33 page)

Read Where I Wanna Be Online

Authors: Vera Roberts

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #African American, #Romance, #Multicultural & Interracial

BOOK: Where I Wanna Be
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Eli had never cheated on her. During their ups and downs, the many break-ups and subsequent make-ups, Eli had never strayed. Sure he had girlfriends during their ‘off’ times, but they were countless and forgettable women. He always came back to Faith.

 

He always came back home.

 

She walked around their Harlem townhome, thinking about all of the memories they’d built over the past several years. She walked past a photo of her graduation, decked out in cap and gown and Eli was holding her close, smiling at her like they both just won the lottery. The next picture was her, seven months pregnant with Nathan and Eli kissing her bare stomach.

 

The final photo was of their wedding day. She wore a strapless A-line lace gown with her hair in many ringlets. Eli and his brothers were decked out in tuxes, with an open collar. Her bridesmaids were various shades of pink, her favorite color. It was the happiest day of her life.

 

It
was
the happiest day of her life.

 

She walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine and calmly sipped on it. She wondered how to approach him, if she should. No, she was going to. She needed to know the truth. Did he have a secret girlfriend? Did he want to leave? How long had all of this been going on?

 

She should’ve gone through his cell phone. She should’ve put a tracking device on it so she always knew where he was. Faith shook her head at the thought. If Eli was openly kissing another woman in public, it didn’t make a difference. He was brazen with his cheating. Really fucking brazen.

 

She heard his truck pull up and the engine turn off. She took another sip of wine and tried to calm her nerves. She was going to be as respectful as possible, as polite as she could be. No, who was Faith kidding? She couldn’t predict her reaction. Her heart was pounding, and her mind was all over the place. She felt her fists curl up into tight balls.

 

She was angry. She was hurt. She was damn near ready to commit murder.

 


Faye?” Eli called out as he began his routine search for Faith throughout their home. “Faye, baby? I’m home.” He soon found her in the living room. It was dark in the living room, with just the soft light from the kitchen coming through. Eli immediately sat next to his wife and tried to read her face. Something was troubling her; eating away at her. Was she still mad at him from the other night? “Faye? What’s going on?”

 

Faith took a deep breath. It was now or never. She needed to know the truth and hoped Eli didn’t try to play her for a fool. “You know, Eli, we’ve been through a lot of things. A lot of ups and downs. And we went through it. We put on our coats, laced up our boots and went
through
it. We surprised everyone—your family, my family, our friends. We’ve been through it all.”

 

Eli was confused at his wife’s soliloquy. “Faye, what’s going—”

 

Faith cut him off. “And despite what we’ve been through. Despite what we’re currently going through, you have never lied to me. You never led me to believe something was amiss or things weren’t where they should be. You were always honest with me… until now.”

 


Faye, I don’t…”

 

Faith continued. “I should’ve known you weren’t
that
busy at the shop. I should’ve known things weren’t
that
hectic. I should’ve known. You were staying late, missing appointments, and here I was,” she shook her head, “thinking it was just my husband working late and getting that paper.”

 


Faye, what’s going on here…”

 

Faith got up from the couch and retrieved her cell phone. She stood in front of Eli and showed him the picture of him and Simone kissing. “If you want to be with her, you leave right now. If you want to stay home with your family, this never happened.”

 

Eli stared at the picture of him and Simone, wondering who could’ve taken it. He looked back up at his wife and saw every emotion on her face: anger, confusion, sadness, devastation. He knew it was taking every inch of her body not to knock him out or yell obscenities at him. He felt how cold and distant to him she had become, wondering how long the feelings had been festering inside her body. “Faye, I can explain…”

 


Again, and I’m not repeating it,” Faith’s voice cracked and she blinked back tears, “if you want to be with her, you leave right now. If you want to stay here, you can never see her again.”

 

Eli thought about the past several months. It was clear he wasn’t happy in his marriage but he didn’t know exactly what the problem was. All he knew was he wasn’t sure how much longer he wanted to stay in it. He was tired and bored of the routine. He was tired of always initiating sex. He was tired of always being the first to apologize when it wasn’t his fault. He was tired of taking the brunt of Faith’s attitude when all he did was say ‘Good Morning’ to her.

 

Eli was tired. He was tired of being the good brother. He was tired of being Mr. Dependable. He was tired of everything. And if Faith was giving him an out… “Fine, then,” Eli picked up his jacket and keys, “I’ll be back for my things later this week.” He then left the home.

 

The moment the door slammed shut, Faith collapsed on the floor. Tears streamed down her face and she looked back up at the door, hoping it was a cruel practical joke her husband just played on her. She waited for a few seconds, anxiously waiting to see him rush through the door again.

 

When she heard his SUV start up, Faith completely lost it. Her husband wasn’t coming back and he left her and their son for another woman.

 

****

 

Eli started up the SUV and just sat in it. He never wanted to hurt Faith and couldn’t imagine hurting her in that manner. But he did. In Hollywood, they always made it seem the people who had affairs were cowards and heartless, not paying any attention to their spouses. And maybe some were really like that. He knew he wasn’t.

 

He was bored in his marriage, and he and Faith had been together since high school. Several long years, he had been with the same woman and never strayed nor wanted to. But everything became so complacent and Simone gave him a fresh breath of air. He didn’t know what his future would be with Simone but he wanted to see where it could lead.

 

As Eli drove around New York, he thought about Faith’s reaction. She was calm, yet dignified, making it easier for him to leave. The reaction Eli was going to face from his mother and brothers, however, wasn’t going to be that easy.

 
Fifteen
 

Simone was making herself a pot of tea when she heard the sound of a truck pull up on the street. She bundled herself up and peeped through the blinds. It was Eli. She wondered what the hell he was doing at her house so late. She watched him get out of the truck and saw a flurry of emotion etch across his face. He was in pain, he was angry, he was confused, and he was slightly overjoyed.

 

Simone didn’t know what was going on with her would-be boyfriend. There was an obvious sexual tension between the two of them and they had come close to making love several times with fate interrupting them in different ways.

 

It was a role she never thought she would play. Homewrecker. Mistress. The Other Woman. She knew the stigma attached to such labels and never hesitated on looking down on those who openly participated in that. Now she was one. Her brain told her to stop it, to keep things professional, never personal. But her heart told her Eli was the one for her. They had connected on so many levels and on so many things. She wondered about her future, their future. She was imagining what their potential kids would look like.

 

She wondered if she would be accepted into the family fold once again, like she was the last time.

 

Still, she was hesitant. Eli was clearly playing games with both her and Faith, bouncing between being a loving husband and father to one and a potential passionate lover to the other. If Eli wanted to continue playing those games, Simone was going have to opt out. She didn’t have the time nor the want to be anyone’s plaything—especially a man she loved so much.

 

Simone reluctantly opened the door and placed a hand on her hip. “Well?”

 

Eli shoved his hands in his pockets. “Can I come in?”

 


To talk, yes.” Simone folded her arms. “To play games, no.”

 


I don’t want to play games anymore,
mio amore
,” Eli walked closer to Simone and snaked his arms around her waist. He nuzzled his mouth against her neck and felt her collapse in his arms. “I want you.”

 

Simone closed her eyes as she felt Eli’s hot breath on her neck. He softly kissed her neck and a yearning began in her sex, traveling all the way to her heart. “You have a wife and a son,” she spoke softly.

 

Eli touched heads with Simone. “We’re separated.”

 

A flurry of emotions flooded Simone’s head and heart. Her head telling her to leave him alone but her heart was tugging away, wanting to give Eli a chance. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Eli,” she whispered.

 

Eli slightly pulled back. “Simone, look at me.” She opened her eyes to him. She read sincerity and trust in them. He had never lied to her before and he wasn’t going to start. “I only want you.” He forced himself inside her home, not letting her go.

 

The door was barely closed behind them when Eli backed Simone against it. His mouth assaulted her neck as his hands undid her robe, revealing she was nude underneath it. Eli’s hands wandered all over her body, feeling the swell of her breasts, her taut stomach, the thickness of her thighs, and the heat of her sex. “Damn, baby…” Eli moaned.

 


I… I… I want you,” Simone whispered.

 


Pull it out,” Eli ordered, “pull out it for me.”

 

Simone unbuckled Eli’s jeans and fumbled a little with the button and zipper. Once his jeans were undone, she gasped as she reached in and pulled out his hard and thick shaft. She almost forgot how big it was and how Eli was so careful with her when they made love for the first time. That was many light-years ago and Simone was now a grown woman with grown woman desires. It slightly bounced in her hand and she carefully stroked it.

 


You want that, don’t you?” Eli trailed his lips from Simone’s neck to her earlobe. “You want that inside you, don’t you, Moni?”

 


Eli, I need you…” Simone begged.

 

Eli reached in his pants pocket to retrieve a condom and slide it on. He then grabbed Simone and hoisted her against the door. He slid inside her and they both gasped at the friction. Eli held onto Simone as he moved inside her, fast and quick, with no time wasted. Simone wrapped her arms around Eli’s neck as his strokes deepened, his breath coming out in jagged spurts and against her neck as she rode him. She moaned and cried out as his thrusts continued, a conundrum of emotions escaping her lips.

 

Soon, her breaths quieted down and her body began to shudder. She was close to her climax and Eli felt it too when she clenched tighter on him. “I want to feel you all over my dick, Moni…” Eli moaned in her ear. “You going to cum for me?”

 


Oh fuck!” Simone cried out as the orgasm washed over her body, making her shudder against her boyfriend.

 


That’s it, baby…” Eli kept moving inside her. “That’s it.” He held onto Simone as he walked over to the couch and laid her down on it. He began to move inside her again, holding her legs wide part so he could watch the action.

 

He felt Simone getting ready to have yet another orgasm and he moved quicker. When she did climax, her walls clamped down on his shaft, milking him. Hearing Simone orgasm sent Eli over the edge and he soon followed her. He collapsed on top of her, struggling for breath and holding onto each other.

 


I love you, Eli.”

 

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