Where I Wanna Be (36 page)

“
Fucking great,” Eli huffed. “This day just keeps getting better.”

She should’ve felt happy. She should’ve felt like she was on top of the world. She finally got her man. There was no need to deny anything anymore. They didn’t need to stay away from each other. They could be free and open with each other in public and private.

Instead, Simone felt the opposite. She felt confusion, hesitation, and worry. She also felt an emotion that was unfamiliar to her: guilt.

Not that she felt too guilty, though. She and Eli didn’t sleep with each other until after he and Faith were already separated. Months of buildup finally culminated the night before and Simone knew with every thrust Eli gave her, he felt the same way. He took out all of his aggression on her throughout the night, holding her thighs apart as he pumped in and out of her or when he bent her over and gave her a spanking for being such a naughty girl.

Simone chewed her bottom lip on the memory. She was craving Eli again.

Any sexual cravings would have to wait, though. She had a busy day meeting with a new bride and a new client she acquired online. She was going to see Eli later that night and show him exactly how much she missed him.

“
Good morning, Moni!” Pepper greeted her with a latte and messages. “You have a few messages from vendors waiting for you. I’ve been answering the inquiries of some new brides so I’ll handle them before I pass them off to you.”

“
Thank you so much, Pepper. I’ll handle the messages in my office, thank you.” She smiled brightly.

Pepper read her boss’s newfound happiness. She seemed to have been bouncing in her Jimmy Choos. “You’re awfully happy, I see,” she commented.

“
I’m always happy,” Simone sat behind her desk.

“
Yeah, but I recognize that bounce. That’s the ‘I just got laid’ bounce and I’m jealous as all hell.” Pepper closed the door to Simone’s office and sat in front of her. “What’s his name?”

Simone began to say Eli’s name but hesitated. She trusted Pepper with a lot of things but she wondered her best friend’s reaction to her new relationship. She decided to risk it and take the brunt of Pepper’s reaction. “Eli.”

As expected, Pepper’s mouth hung low and Simone was pretty sure if she blew on her, Pepper would’ve fallen over. “Moni!” She chastised.

“
Now let me explain…” Simone folded her hands and leaned forward. “He’s currently separated from his wife. Nothing happened between us until then.”

“
Don’t tell me he left his wife for you?” Pepper almost pleaded.

Simone saw the worry in her eyes. Pepper was like a sister to her, going back to their college days when they pledged. She was a happily married woman who had been with her sweetheart since their college days. Simone was more than a little concerned about what Pepper’s reaction was going to be. “I don’t know why he left his wife.”

“
But you don’t think you played a part in it?” Pepper asked.

Oh yes, I do.
“I can’t honestly answer that, Pepper,” Simone shrugged. “I don’t know what was going on between them for a long while.”

Pepper shook her head and an undeniable smirk formed on her lips. Simone didn’t have to read too hard what Pepper was non-verbally saying to her—
Girlfriend, you done fucked up
. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Moni.”

“
We’re being real careful about it. We’re not flaunting our relationship. It’s not like I’m broadcasting online or everywhere else.” Simone justified. “I know the consequences.”

“
Do you really?” Pepper challenged her.

There wasn’t a hint of a smile or joke in Pepper’s reply and Simone could tell it was heavy with both sarcasm and contempt. “Why does the other woman always get the blame? What about the guy? It’s not like I pursued him.”

“
It’s also not like you tried to stop it, either, Moni.” Pepper replied. “You knew he was married with a wife and a kid and it didn’t matter.”

“
No, it
does
matter,” Simone remembered Eli’s sudden departure from her apartment that morning. She’d texted him to see if he was okay and had yet to get a response. While she didn’t think everything would’ve been hunky-dorey between him and Faith, she also didn’t expect a fight was going to break out. “I will have to deal with Faith and Nathan.”

“
Did loverboy give you a timetable on when he’s going to actually divorce his wife?” Pepper wondered.

I just left her last night, Simone. It’s going to take some time.
“We didn’t get into specifics.”

“
You mean
he
didn’t get into specifics?” Pepper’s smirk returned.

Simone had had just about enough with her best friend’s shade. “Look, Pepper, I don’t expect you to agree with this and you have every right to think what you want about me or about the situation. But you can’t judge until you’ve been in my situation.”

“
I have been in your situation, Moni,” Pepper replied. “Before we were friends, I would mess around with different guys—married, single, in-between—it didn’t matter to me. If we wanted each other, I went for it.”

“
So, if you did the same thing, why am I getting the judgment?” Simone asked.

“
Because I was young and stupid back then. I was still a child both chronologically and mentally.” Pepper added. “I can admit what I did was wrong and I paid the price for it for a long time. I don’t want you to think what you’re doing won’t have any sort of consequences on you.”

“
Karma?” Simone snickered.

“
Moni, have you thought about Faith’s reaction? Do you even know what Faith is capable of?” Pepper asked. “I’m being dead serious here. Does his wife have a temper you should be concerned with?”

The way Eli described Faith to Simone, she sounded meek and mild. It never occurred to her Faith could be hiding something deeper and dangerous. She would love to say she wasn’t worried about Faith, but Simone knew that was a lie. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“
If I were you, I would be on the lookout.” Pepper deadpanned. “Her friends? Her family? His family? How does his mother feel about this?”

Simone just thought about Nicola. If she didn’t know about Eli and his indiscretions, she would definitely know by the end of the day. After what she remembered about Eli and his father, she could already predict the matriarch’s reaction. “I guess we’ll find out, soon.” Simone wondered.

“
And his son? Are you prepared to stay at home or not be around his son when he has him?” Pepper questioned.

Simone was getting irritated with Pepper’s third-degree line of questioning. “I do plan to see Nathan, yes.”

Pepper almost wanted to laugh at Simone’s naiveté. She didn’t know Faith but if she had to guess her personality, Faith would rather walk a hundred miles on hot coals than to have her son be
anywhere
near Simone. But Pepper knew the role Simone was playing—the not-so innocent Other Woman who will insist to whomever was within ear shot that she was not at fault, and that she had no role in the break-up of a marriage. It was a role Pepper herself had played and familiarized, with the lines memorized and instant crying on cue. It was also one of her biggest regrets.

Instead, Pepper silently shrugged, stood up, and straightened out her suit. “I’m done preaching here. I won’t mention another word of my opinion because you’re going to do what you want to do. I will leave you with this final thought: what goes around, comes around. If Eli cheated with you, eventually he’ll cheat
on
you.” She then left Simone’s office and closed the door behind her.

Simone bounced in her chair and stared down at her desk. Her best friend was right. She was blatantly honest and didn’t cut corners with her. But the heart wants what the heart wants, Simone reasoned. She and Eli didn’t sneak around. They didn’t keep secrets. Faith knew about her, and Eli willingly left his wife, without Simone’s help. She wasn’t the bad guy in this, not at all, and not by a long shot.

Whoever didn’t like her and Eli together could just keep their opinions to themselves. That included Pepper, his family, her family, and Faith. She and Eli were together and that was that. People would just need to deal.

****

Eli looked around the room and saw the various levels of distress on his brothers’ faces. Joey and Nick stared into space, both wondering why they were called into an emergency family meeting and not paying attention to their respective careers. Kieran looked exhausted, a combination of jet lag and being up all night with a newborn. Tony, though, shook his head at his brother. Eli felt Tony’s disappointment in him and wanted to go away somewhere. The two of them had always been so close growing up, with Tony being the best man at his wedding. Now it felt like Tony couldn’t stomach seeing his brother, at the moment.

“
Look, whatever it is you got to say, save it, all right?” Eli broke the silence. “This is between me and Faye.”

“
No, asshole, it’s not,” Nick cut him off, “the moment we can’t get a hold of you for several hours, it’s no longer a Faye-Eli problem.”

“
What’s going on, Eli?” Kieran asked. “What’s going on between you and Faye?”

Eli chewed his bottom lip and stared down at the floor. Even though he just made the decision the prior night, he couldn’t say for certain it was the right one. “I left her.”

The brothers remained silent for a moment, taking in the information. Faith and Eli always had one of the longest and strongest relationships in the family, surviving everything from being poor and living close to the poverty line, to fertility issues, to juggling their careers as well as being co-parents to their son.

Now, all of the brothers were wondering if the happy couple they had seen at Sunday night dinners and other family outings was simply a façade for what was really going on behind closed doors. “A man just doesn’t leave his wife and child in the middle of the night unless there was a reason,” Nick glanced over to Eli, “what’s her name?”

“
Simone.” Eli swallowed. “Simone Harris.”

“
Your old girlfriend?” Tony asked and Eli silently nodded. “Wow.”

“
How long have there been problems?” Joey asked. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“
Say what, exactly?” Eli countered. “Some people aren’t meant to stay together forever. Some people grow apart. Some people fall out of love.”

“
You were never in love to begin with,” Kieran folded his arms, “you don’t fall out of love with someone. You stay and make it work.”

“
I don’t understand why you all are getting on my ass about this? What about Faye, huh? What about the times she’s denied me sex, okay?” Eli defended himself. “What about the times she didn’t give it up to me because she was
punishing
me for some stupid shit? What about the times she would get mad and not speak to me for days for some shit I still don’t know what I did wrong? What about that? You all like to blame me for leaving and act like Faye had no role in this her damn self.”

“
Faye didn’t leave her family in the middle of the night to go fuck her new boyfriend,” Tony replied. “Faye also didn’t have her whole family wondering where the hell she was and why no one can get a hold of her.”