Where Secrets Lie (4 page)

“
Oh God, don’t even go there. I am not asking him.”

“
Ok, ok, it was just a suggestion.”

They need not have worried. Brian asked Sara out the next weekend and every weekend thereafter. Initially, most of their conversations centered around books, which was a subject neither of them ever tired of. However, it did not take long before they branched out to include even the minutest details of their days, and Sara could scarcely remember what her life had been like before Brian was in it.

~

By late fall it was too cold to hang out by the creek, so Sara frequented the coffee shop and sat by the windows whenever possible. Basketball season was under way, and Sara attended all of Brian’s home games, but when he had practice or away games, she went to the library by herself.

Every once in a while, instead of reading, she wandered through the library to peruse the books. At least once a week, the children’s section hosted readings for the younger children, and Sara liked to stop by and listen.

The books they read were usually ones she remembered from her own childhood, and Sara enjoyed watching the children’s enchanted expressions as the story unfolded.

The scheduled reading today was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” At the far end of the children’s section was a small stage elevated a single step above the floor. The children gathered on the floor in front of the stage, and their mothers, nannies, and a few dads sat behind them on folding chairs. Sara took a seat in the back, off to one side.

On the stage was a single empty chair. A young man came out, walked past the chair, and sat on the step right in front of the children. His long dark hair was loose around his shoulders, and the distinctive red cap was missing, but when he began to speak, Sara realized it was Seth.

“
If you give a mouse a cookie…”

Seth began to read, holding the book open facing the children so they could see the illustrations.

“
He’s going to ask—”

“
Milk!” a little boy screamed out.

The adults laughed.

Seth smiled at the boy. “That’s right. He’s going to ask for a glass of milk.”

The little boy clapped his hands congratulating himself.

Seth turned the page. “When you give him the milk, he’ll probably ask you for a straw.”

For the first time, Sara neglected to watch the children’s reactions to the story. She could not take her eyes off Seth.

He was so at ease with the children. He read each page with enthusiasm and paused to interact with the kids whenever they interrupted him, which was often. If he noticed a child craning to see, he tipped the book in their direction before he continued with the story. Once he finished reading, the children swarmed around him. Seth allowed them to rifle through the book.

Sara slipped out and returned to the coffee shop where she sat by the windows and read a book of her own. Before she even got through a chapter, Seth was standing next to her table.

“
I thought I might find you here,” he said.

Sara looked up from her book.

“
It’s Sara, right?”

Sara smiled. “Yeah.”

“
I’m Seth, is anyone else sitting here?”

“
No,” she said and closed her book.

Seth sat down across from her.

“
I was bummed you disappeared after story time,” he said.

“
I didn’t know you saw me.”

“
Sure I did, even though you were lurking around the back.”

“
I was not lurking.”

Seth smiled. “Oh, ok… what would you call it?”

Sara thought for a moment. “Staying out of the way.”

“
Yes, that does sound much better,” he said.

Seth leaned back and tipped the front legs of his chair off the floor.

“
Tell me, Sara, are you a big fan of ‘If You Give a Mouse a Cookie’?”

“
Not exactly.”

“
So what then, you just couldn’t resist my magical rendition?”

Sara laughed. “You were pretty good.”

“
You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“
I’m not that surprised.”

“
Sure you are, but it’s ok. Most people don’t see me as the kind of guy who’s good with kids.”

“
Then what kind of guy do they see you as?”

“
Oh no… I plead the fifth on that one.”

“
Chicken?” she asked.

“
Damn right.”

Seth dropped his chair back to the floor. He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table.

“
So do you go to the readings often?” he asked.

“
Whenever I get the chance, I like kids too.”

“
Yeah?”

“
Uh huh, I want to be an elementary school teacher.”

“
Is that so? Well, I’m impressed. Teaching’s a noble profession.”

“
Now you’re making fun of me.”

“
No, I’m not, I really mean it.”

Sara reddened. “What about you? What are you studying?”

“
I’m going to be a child psychologist.”

“
Seriously?”

“
There you go again, sounding surprised.” Seth shook his head in mock dismay.

“
Maybe just a little, is that bad?”

“
No, not to me, people don’t always fit the usual molds, and I really like that. I think that’s one of the best things about Boulder.”

“
What? The unusual people?”

“
More the acceptance of the unusual. For example, when was the last time you saw someone here who really shocked you?”

Sara thought for a moment. “I can’t remember.”

“
And is that because everybody here’s the same?”

“
God, no, anything but.”

“
Exactly, that’s what I’m talking about. Being unusual is normal here. When people see something out of the ordinary they don’t miss a beat. They just shrug and say, ‘That’s Boulder’, I love that.”

“
So is that why you chose C.U.?”

“
It’s why I stayed.”

“
You’re a native?”

Seth laughed. “You couldn’t tell?”

Sara looked him over. “Now that I think about it, you do fit the mold on that one.”

“
Ouch…” Seth put one hand over his heart and bent over.

Sara rolled her eyes.

“
So why don’t you try giving the readings?” Seth asked. “Bet you’d like it.”

“
I never thought about it before, maybe I will. Do you volunteer a lot?”

“
Not as much as I’d like, not enough time. My advisor recommended me for a summer internship at this ranch in Wyoming though. I’m waiting to hear back.”

Sara raised her eyebrows but held her tongue.

Seth laughed. “Yeah, ok, I’m definitely not the cowboy type.”

“
You said it, not me.”

“
But this place isn’t just about the ranch. Or at least, that’s not the part that interests me. It’s a place for young kids, preteens, who’ve gone through a traumatic experience and need help working through it. The ranch teaches them about nature and provides group and individual counseling.”

“
That makes more sense.”

“
There’s only one problem.”

“
Yeah, what’s that?” Sara asked.

“
I’m kinda scared of cattle… and horses.”

“
You’re kidding, right?”

“
Nope, dead serious. Any animal that outweighs me totally freaks me out.”

“
I can so relate to that.” Except in Sara’s case, the animal did not have to outweigh her.

“
So you don’t think I’m a wuss?”

“
God no, but it is a ranch. How will that work?”

“
I don’t know, guess I’ll have to face my fears. Could be good practical experience for a future psychologist, don’t you think?”

“
I guess that’s one way of looking at it.”

“
On the other hand, I could try my mother’s hypnotist.”

“
Your mother has a hypnotist?”

“
Yep, he helped her stop smoking, but then, she also used an acupuncturist.”

“
So how does she know which one worked?”

“
She doesn’t, but I hate needles way more than I hate large animals, so I’m leaning toward hypnosis.”

“
Good plan, definitely less scary than a stampede.”

“
See, now you’re not being helpful at all.”

They both laughed.

The guy behind the counter called, “Hey Seth. You’re on the clock in ten minutes, man.”

“
Ok, be right there.” Seth stood up. “Well, Sara, it’s been fun talking to you. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“
Sure,” Sara said.

~

Over the next several months, Sara and Seth fell into a pattern of having regular conversations at the library. Problem was, even when Seth was off duty, it was difficult for him to have an extended conversation in the coffee shop without his fellow employees interrupting them, so Seth introduced Sara to a deserted section in the library’s recesses where they began to meet for their discussions.

“
I call it the Bermuda Triangle,” Seth said the first time he brought Sara there.

“
Why’s that?”

“
Because the books that are shelved here have disappeared into obscurity never to be read again.”

Although he meant it as a joke, it appeared to be an accurate assessment. In all the times they met there, they never saw another library patron or employee.

Spending time with Seth was like reading a book about a place she’d never been. With his unique way of looking at things, Seth exposed Sara to causes, attitudes, and theories that encouraged her mind to soar beyond its usual confines and consider worlds beyond her normal limits. His interests were vast, and there was no telling what topic or event he would be immersed in on a particular day and want to discuss with her.

Seth was an environmentalist into organics, recycling, and wildlife preservation. He rode a bicycle or walked wherever he went. He considered himself a reluctant vegan since once a week he indulged in a cheeseburger and admitted to craving it all week long. He also had a weakness for donuts.

Human rights issues worldwide drew his attention, and he was passionate about children’s rights and welfare. He preferred nonfiction books to fiction, classic movies to contemporary, dramas to comedies. He loved documentaries and hated science fiction. Chess was his favorite sport. There was not a genre of music he would not listen to, nor a video game he would play.

Sara had never met anyone like him, and their conversations captivated her. Although Seth typically chose the subjects of their discussions, he was inquisitive about Sara’s take on all of them and absorbed every word she had to say. In his presence, she felt like an adult whose viewpoint was both valued and respected.

Sara knew her parents would consider Seth a radical hippie, and they would disapprove of her spending time with a college-aged boy. Anne would have difficulty believing Sara could have a platonic friendship with a guy who was so hot, and she’d probably never let up about it. Brian made it clear he disliked Seth even before Sara became friends with him.

“
Who is that guy?” Brian asked one afternoon in September when they stopped into the coffee shop together.

“
What guy?”

“
That guy, behind the counter.”

“
You mean Seth?”

“
You know him?”

“
I just know his name, he wears a nametag.”

“
I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

Sara knew Seth looked at every girl the exact same way and also flirted with each and every one of them.

“
He’s harmless,” she said.

Nonetheless, Sara remembered Brian’s reaction and never mentioned it to him, or anyone else, when she began talking to Seth. The way she looked at it, she wasn’t doing anything wrong, and she wasn’t about to let other people’s negative perceptions rob her of their friendship.

After all, it was Brian whom she was crazy in love with, and Brian was the only one she wanted to be with. However, she couldn’t see why that meant she wasn’t allowed to have a friend, regardless of their gender. Besides, Seth made it clear, he wasn’t the relationship type.

“
Monogamy is unnatural,” Seth said.

Sara arched her eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“
Please don’t use the example of certain animals that mate for life. Animals function on instinct. Humans function on brainpower.”

“
That’s not the part of a guy’s anatomy I would say prevents monogamy.”

Seth laughed. “Yes, women often make that point, but I think it has more to do with the human brain, which is too complex for us to be satisfied with the same stimuli for long periods of time.”

“
So you don’t believe in relationships?”

“
I believe in having interactions that aren’t burdened by the false perception they’re going to last, or that they only have value if they do.”