Where the Secret Lies (22 page)

The haveli changed around her –
the plants disappeared and the red floor transformed into grey concrete, the
pillars changed into walls. Wind and rain danced, the sky darkened with black
clouds.

‘Where am I?’

There was shouting above,
Arianna climbed to the roof. Through the rain, she saw Tehzeeb with Anjali.
They shouted something to each other. Anjali flung her arm away from Tehzeeb;
she seemed upset.

‘Oh no...Anjali, don’t do it!’
Arianna yelled.

Anjali raised her arms and
Tehzeeb fell...

‘Tehzeeb! Anjali, no!’ Arianna’s
hand reached out. ‘No, no!’

The wind lashed around her and Arianna
was falling...she found herself back at the haveli.

‘Tehzeeb...she was murdered,
‘Arianna said to the maid, who seemed have been waiting for her.

‘Do you still not understand?’ the
maid began to cry. ‘I am sorry.’

Arianna stepped back, startled.

‘I’m sorry? Why are
you
sorry?’ she asked.

The maid showed the letters to
Arianna.

‘What is all this about?’
Arianna said. ‘Why am I seeing things? The dream or whatever it was...why has
the spirit chosen me? The door has not opened in years and yet as soon as I
come, everything is laid out in front of me.

‘Tell me, is the woman in the red
sari – is she Anjali? Is she the spirit?’ questions poured out of Arianna she
had been asking herself since she arrived.

The maid nodded. ‘The spirit is
Anjali. She is also I. I am Anjali.’

The maid transformed into the
woman in the red sari. Arianna thought her heart would stop.

‘Oh my...’

‘Arianna,’ said the maid or
Anjali. ‘You are...Tehzeeb.’

Arianna thought this was a joke;
someone having fun at her expense. She laughed.

‘You are in doubt. You must
believe me Arianna. I...I am sorry I ended your life. It was an accident, I did
not want to do this...I am sorry didi.’

The maid began to cry.

 
‘Am I to understand I am Tehzeeb and you
killed me?

‘Yes, I waited for so long for
you to come. I have sinned.
 
My
punishment is what I deserve.’

‘What is your punishment?’

‘I am unable to leave this
haveli until you can forgive me.’

This was absurd, how could she
be Tehzeeb? She did not even believe in reincarnation!

‘I want to be free, Tehzeeb. I
tried to kill myself, thinking my guilt would vanish but I was denied that
also.’

 
‘You committed suicide?’ Arianna asked, surprised.

Anjali lifted her head and Arianna
saw a red prominent mark around her neck.

‘Oh my God, Anjali...you hanged
yourself...’ Arianna didn’t know what to think or feel – shock, anger, or pity?

Then an understanding dawned.

‘Is this the connection, that I
am Tehzeeb?’

She realised now why the woman
in the picture – Tehzeeb – looked so familiar.
 
Anjali moved towards the open door. Arianna followed.

The room had changed, no longer full of shelves upon shelves
of boxes but a bedroom dressed in purples and reds. The four-poster bed beautifully
made with adorning flowers, a fragrance of heavy scented perfume hung in the
air.

This was Anjali’s room...letters
freshly written lay on the dressing table. Anjali brought a tall mirror to face
Arianna. Her image began to change and in a matter of seconds, Arianna wore a
long cotton skirt with a long sleeved tunic; her head loosely covered in a
veil. Arianna touched the mirror...she was Tehzeeb...

The scene changed and
she/Tehzeeb stood at the army base. Mohan came towards her. He was crying, and
embraced her and their children.

He took her to meet his new wife
Anjali and their two girls. Hurt and jealousy coursed down her veins but she
calmed, accepting her fate.
 
Anjali’s
daughters called her Bari Ma; a beautiful welcome.

She and Anjali stood in the rain
and wind. Anjali was not listening, anguish and pain clouded her understanding.
Her arms rose...

‘No!’ Arianna shouted. She was
back in the storeroom.

 
‘Do you believe?’ said Anjali.

‘Did you show me that?’

Anjali shook her head. ‘No, you
remembered.’

Arianna sat on the floor. ‘I am
sorry for everything. I never wanted you hurt. If I had known how my being with
Mohan affected you...’

Anjali sat beside her. ‘I was
selfish and wrong. Can you forgive me, Tehzeeb? Will you help me? Will you let
me leave this non-existence?’

‘What is there to forgive? You
loved.’

‘But I killed you...’

‘It was an accident,’ said
Arianna. ‘You punished yourself by committing suicide, who am I to punish you
further. Anjali, I will give you Mukti (leave). I will arrange a priest for the
ceremony, but Anjali, you will need to show yourself to the family.’

THIRTY-ONE

The Marajh (Indian priest) lit the sacred fire and began the
prayers. He beckoned Arianna to come forward.

‘Arianna beta, Anjali requires
Mukti (freedom) from you. You will need to perform the ritual.’

She
was
expecting this – Arianna adjusted the veil and bowed to Lord Ganesh, the
Goddess Parvati, and the God Shiva. The Marajh began the ritual, throwing rice seeds
into the fire. He spoke in Sanskrit, asking for freedom of Anjali’s soul.

Arianna’s mind went back to the
time she told her auntie about Anjali and Tehzeeb...

Auntie was in the kitchen cooking when Arianna walked in.
She inhaled the mouth-watering aroma.
 
Focus Ari!

‘What do you need beta?’ her
auntie asked.

Arianna couldn’t believe she was
about to tell her auntie
about Anjali. After
leaving Anjali and the room, she was back in her normal jeans and t-shirt. She
was no longer in Tehzeeb’s dress, but the memories stayed within her. She
was
Tehzeeb in a previous life and she
accepted it, no matter how bizarre it was.

‘I think you need to sit down, what
I am going to say is a little strange.’

‘Sounds interesting,’ auntie
turned off the gas and sat down on the kitchen stool, stretching her legs.
Arianna sat opposite her.

‘Do you remember when we talked
about the door, the one that doesn’t open?’

‘I do.’

‘Auntie, it is no longer sealed,
I have opened it! Will you come with me? I would like to show you,’ Arianna
took her bewildered Aunt’s hand. ‘Trust me.’

When auntie and Arianna reached
the door, auntie put her hands to her mouth.

‘It...it is open! But how can
that be possible?’ auntie’s frame shook. She looked scared. ‘Are you a powerful
magician or a witch?’

Arianna would have laughed if
the situation were not so serious.

‘Auntie...I am Arianna
and...Tehzeeb.’

‘Who is Tehzeeb?’

‘Come into the room and I will
explain. There are things you need to see to understand, to believe.’

Arianna showed her the diary,
the clothes, and the photographs. She explained everything to her.

‘A murder?’ her auntie shook her
head. ‘Nothing you are telling me makes sense Arianna. It sounds like...you
made this up...’

 
‘Auntie, I am not lying,’ Arianna said this
with a serious face and looked at her auntie in the eye. ‘Please, you have to
believe me. Anjali wants me to free her.’

Auntie’s face paled. ‘There is a
spirit here, in this haveli? She has been the cause of the door being locked
and you are Tehzeeb, the other wife?’

‘Yes, I was once Tehzeeb.’

‘Take me to my room beta. I am
not feeling too well.’

Arianna promptly took her to her
bed.

 
‘Can I get you anything?’ she asked.

‘Arianna, is the spirit here, in
this room?’ auntie asked wearily.

‘No, she will not leave her
room. She is waiting for me.’

 
‘Will she leave the haveli once we give her
Mukti?’

‘That is all she wants.’

‘Call everyone here beta. They
need to be told.’

Relieved her auntie believed her, Arianna set about getting
everyone together. The questions came in quick succession.

‘What happened? Is she alright?’

‘What does she want to talk
about?’

‘What is the secrecy?’

‘Did she have a heart attack?’

The last question was from
Tianna.

‘Will everyone be quiet please?
Ti, auntie did not have a heart attack. She is feeling a little tired and that
is all. Now no more questions until we get there.’

Jai, Khushboo, Tianna, and uncle
followed Arianna to auntie’s bedroom. Auntie was sitting up; she seemed in a
much better state. Uncle went to check on her.

‘What is it? Are you alright?’
he said anxiously.

‘I am fine, don’t be worried.
Arianna, first I want you to tell everyone what you told me, from the
beginning. Then they will believe.’

With all eyes on her, Arianna
once again began the story. She told them how she met the maid, her
conversations with her and finally entering the mysterious room where she found
photographs, old clothes and how she acquired Anjali’s diary.

She explained the love-hate
relationship between Tehzeeb and Anjali, the murder and the suicide.

‘The maid is actually Anjali and
I am Tehzeeb, the first wife of Mohan.’

Arianna remained silent until they
all could digest the information.

‘It doesn’t seem real, I know. All
I want to do is free Anjali,’ she said after a long time, when everyone failed
to speak – even Tianna.

Tianna opened her mouth to say
something but closed it again. Jai looked at Arianna. She knew he believed her
from the day he set foot in the haveli; he smiled. Arianna smiled back a thank
you.

‘Wow Ari,’ was all Khushboo
could say.

‘Perhaps you need to see
Anjali...to believe. Auntie, will this be alright by you?’ Arianna asked.

‘Yes beta, I would like to see
her,’ auntie replied.

‘Anjali, I know you are
here...please show yourself.’

Tianna jumped and cowered next
to uncle.

Anjali came in as the maid and transformed,
wearing the red sari. An audible gasp left everyone and Tianna fainted.

Arianna splattered her with water.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I will be,’ Tianna stood up. ‘I
am so embarrassed!’

‘Please forgive me,’ said Anjali.
‘I didn’t want to frighten anybody. All I ask for is my freedom.’

She looked around her.

‘This was once my daughter’s
room,’ she said.

‘Anjali, what happened to Mohan
and the children?’ asked Arianna.

‘I am guilty for Mohan ji’s
condition after I...left him. He showed signs of madness and they locked him
away. A neighbour took care of the children. She waited until Mohan ji was
released from hospital...he did come home but he was unstable. He covered his
mistakes by drinking.

 
‘I couldn’t watch. I tried to leave the haveli
but I was denied the pleasure; God was punishing me and I had no choice but
live with it.’ Anjali let out an ironic laugh. ‘The guilt weighed me down and kept
me prisoner. It was only right. I did wrong.

‘The children grew up, married,
and had children of their own. I watched silently, unseen. I locked the door of
the room where Mohan ji stored my clothes, the photographs, and my diary.

He accidentally found my diary
under my clothes, and cried many times reading it; he apologised for the hurt
he caused me. I could not see him like this but I had to bear it. Mohan ji died
on his fiftieth birthday – they say the drink took his life but I knew it was
grief of my wrongdoing. I killed Mohan ji...

‘On his deathbed, he called my name,
but his eyes rested on Tehzeeb’s portrait. He closed his eyes for the final
time and the portrait fell, shattering the glass.’

Everyone sniffed.

 
‘It won’t be long now didi’ Arianna said in a
low voice. ‘You shall be freed.’

‘Add the ghee (clarified butter) beta,’ the Marajh spoke.

Arianna came back to the
present.

‘Sorry,’ she said and carried on
with the ritual.

Anjali sat beside Arianna but kept
herself hidden. Uncle, auntie, Jai, Khushboo and Tianna sat behind Arianna.

The ritual ended and Anjali
looked above; she smiled.

‘I am free,’ she whispered. ‘God
is calling me...thank you, Tehzeeb didi.’

Anjali faded into the light that
only Arianna could see. A tear dropped on her
cheek.

‘She has moved on,’ she
said.
 
‘She has left the haveli.’

‘I’m going to miss you so much!’ Khushboo embraced Arianna
tightly. ‘I wish you weren’t going.’

‘I will miss you too Khush, but you are coming to London at
Christmas; it is only a few months away. Let’s hope for some snow eh?’ Arianna
hugged her cousin back.

Khushboo wiped her tears and
turned to Tianna and Jai, hugging them both.

They were at the airport; it was
time to go home. Waving their last goodbyes to the family, Arianna, Tianna and
Jai walked through to the boarding lounge.

‘Well, this is one holiday I won’t forget,’ Jai said as he
drank his complimentary cola.

It was night and all was quiet
on the plane. The shutters down and the lights dimmed, the passengers slept –
Tianna one of them.

‘It feels surreal,’ Arianna
said. ‘I still think about Anjali and her life. I cannot forget my previous
life either... I never believed in reincarnation until now.’

‘Were you scared when you first
met the spirit, I mean when you realised she was a ghost?’ Jai asked.

‘I was spooked of course, who
wouldn’t be? Look what happened to auntie and Tianna!’ Arianna gave a small
smile. ‘Thank you Jai, for being here when I needed you most and believing me.’