Where You Least Expect It (13 page)

Matt thought he knew what Christian was trying to ask and decided to make it a little easier. “Or am I always an asshole?”

“I didn’t say you were an asshole!” Christian asserted.

“No, you didn’t. I did. Alison made it clear that I’m inconsiderate and clueless, and she’s right. I get caught up in my own head sometimes and ignore how that affects people.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole. I don’t think Alison does, either. I think that you’ve considered yourself straight until a couple of weeks ago and that you might not know what to think now.”

That pretty much hit the proverbial nail on the head. “Yeah, well, it’s not something I ever thought about before I met you and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, really.”

Christian sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest. “What do you want to do?” Christian laughed when Matt cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, I’ll rephrase. What do you want to do about how you feel?” He tilted his head. “How do you feel?”

Matt sighed, got up, and started pacing. “I don’t know.” He leaned against the window, staring out at the lights and traffic flowing past. “What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to tell people? Jesus, I’m not even sure what I think. Am I gay? Bi? What?”

“I know how difficult this is, Matt, really.” Christian sounded sympathetic.

Matt turned and looked at Christian. “How old were you when you figured it out?”

“Probably thirteen. Trent and I were, well, curious, I guess.” Christian picked at the fabric on the couch. “I came out to my parents when I was fifteen after — after some shit happened at school.”

Matt frowned. “What happened at school?”

Christian tried to brush it off. “Just stupid shit, kids mouthing off at me. I came home with a black eye and Mom asked me why. I think they were more upset that I was getting hassled. I got the whole ‘we love you no matter what’ speech.” Christian shrugged again. “I was lucky, but Trent’s parents freaked and kicked him out when he turned eighteen.”

“That sucks. My parents died years ago, so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I think Alison might have guessed, but I have no idea what Sam will say.”

Christian looked thoughtful. “But you’re still worried about what other people will think, aren’t you?”

Matt sighed heavily. “Yes, I am. People at work, people who keep trying to set me up with women because they feel bad that Katie left me — am I supposed to tell them I’m dating a man? I don’t have a fucking clue what to expect.”

Christian looked surprised. “Are you?”

“Am I what?” Matt hadn’t quite realized what he’d said.

“Dating a man?”

Matt didn’t know what to make of the neutral expression on Christian’s face. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Christian smiled slightly. “Probably the same way you date women.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “I suck at dating women.”

“Well, then maybe we should back up a little.” Christian shifted on the couch, sitting up straighter. “Look, can I be completely honest with you?”

Matt braced himself for the pending rejection and immediately realized he didn’t want that. “Sure.”

“I like you. A lot. Maybe more than a lot. And I get that you’re scared and not ready to come out. But I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, either. I can handle being friends with you, but I don’t think I can handle being just an easy blow job.”

Matt turned and stared out the window again, knowing he had a decision to make. He had two options: he could apologize to Christian, part amicably, and act friendly if they saw each other around town. That was the easy way out.

The other option — the one that was still making his head spin — was to take a huge fucking leap and admit he wanted more than clandestine blow jobs.

Matt watched the traffic on the street below. Fuck it. I’ve done scarier shit than this.

When he finally turned around, Christian still sat up straight, no longer trying to sink into the cushions, but his expression was pensive. Matt took a deep breath. “I don’t want that either,” he admitted.

“What do you want?” Christian asked. “Just so we’re on the same page.”

Matt crossed the room and sat next to Christian. “I —” the words got stuck and he had to swallow and start again. “I want to see where this goes. I guess I want to try having a relationship with you.” Matt felt his face get hot, but the world didn’t end. He had never, ever done something like this; even in his relationship with Katie, he’d felt like a passive observer sometimes.

Christian grinned at him. “Are you asking me to go steady?”

Matt blinked and laughed. “Maybe. Do adults even do that?”

Christian giggled. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to see.”

Matt smiled back. “Now what?”

“Well, we could keep talking about how you feel about coming out. Or you could kiss me.”

“I like the second option better.” Christian was still smiling as Matt leaned in and kissed him, lightly at first, just a brush of lips.

Christian uncurled himself and wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck. Matt responded by putting his arms around Christian’s waist and pulling Christian into his lap so he could deepen the kiss, holding Christian against him and running his palms over Christian’s back.

Eventually, they had to part for air.

Christian leaned their foreheads together. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Matt nipped at Christian’s chin.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. That doesn’t mean I might not fuck up at some point, because I probably will, but hopefully it won’t be too bad.”

Christian kissed him again. “I’ll try to keep you in line.”

“Does that mean I can have your phone number?”

Christian laughed. “I don’t see why not.”

“Oh, good. Then I won’t have to stalk you at the coffee shop anymore, I can just text you.” Matt wrapped a hand around the back of Christian’s head and proceeded to kiss him thoroughly.

“Fuck, I missed you.”

“Yeah? I missed you, too. Made it hard to study.”

“Sorry.” Matt pulled back suddenly. “Did I say I was sorry for being an ass? I am, you know.”

“I know. Did I mention that I forgive you? Because I do.”

“Good. Now more kissing, less talking.”

Matt felt slightly silly that Christian’s laughter made him get all warm inside, so he focused on kissing instead of thinking. Christian’s laughter subsided into soft moans of pleasure, which Matt liked even more.

Matt wanted to spend more time kissing Christian, feeling him push into the kisses. Matt slowly devoured his mouth, looking for more moans and sighs, loving how Christian didn’t hold back.

The kiss went from a slow burn to hot faster than Matt expected. He put his hands under Christian’s ass and stood up, making Christian moan, legs wrapped tightly around Matt’s waist.

“Fuck, you’re strong.”

“Uh-huh.” Matt was already on his way to the bedroom, holding Christian firmly and trying to stay focused as Christian sucked on his neck. God damn, that was hot.

Matt put one knee on the bed, dropping Christian lightly before lying down next to him and kissing him.

Christian groaned and started stripping Matt, yanking his shirt over his head and starting on his pants. Matt tried to push his cock into Christian’s hand as it fought with his zipper.

“You’re not helping,” Christian admonished.

Matt stilled his movements. “Sorry.”

Christian got Matt’s pants halfway down his legs and stopped. “Shit. Shoes.”

Matt groaned in frustration. It had only been a week since he’d seen Christian but he was ready to bust, he was so turned on. Christian fumbled with his shoes, eventually getting them off, followed closely by the rest of Matt’s clothes.

Christian turned and just stared for a minute. “God, look at you.” He ran a hand slowly up Matt’s thigh. “So hot, so fucking hard.” The last was accompanied by a quick swipe of Christian’s tongue across Matt’s cock on his way up to straddle Matt’s hips.

“You’re still dressed.” Before Christian could respond, Matt flipped them over and started pulling at Christian’s clothes, finally getting him naked. Matt crawled back up the bed and shoved the covers out of the way, making Christian squirm to accommodate the sudden movement of the bedspread they were on top of.

“Picky,” he teased.

“Practical,” Matt corrected. “I don’t want to have to drag the bedspread down to the laundry room. Now what did I say about less talking?”

Christian ran a hand up Matt’s chest. “Don’t you like it when I tell you how fucking amazing you look, how I love all your muscles?” Christian pinched a nipple and Matt groaned. “How I love hearing you moan?”

Matt responded with a kiss, hard enough that their teeth clashed. Christian’s leg wrapped around his, one hand twisting in his hair and the other grabbing his ass as they moved together.

Matt broke the kiss and gasped out, “Oh, God, I’m close.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, honey. Do you want to come, Matt? Fuck, honey, do it.” Suddenly Christian was in charge, grinding them together and panting in Matt’s ear about how hot Matt was, how he thought about Matt when he touched himself.

Matt lost it, shouting something that might have been Christian’s name and might have just been nonsense. Christian followed a second later, hot come mixing on their stomachs.

They both collapsed, panting, still touching.

“I — is this okay?” Matt stayed close, not quite snuggling, but not too far away, either. He could just make out Christian’s features in the dim light coming in through the windows.

“I think so,” Christian said. “Remember, I said we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Matt had a sudden flash of insight, one that had seemed to elude him in all of his previous relationships. “I think I like it. Besides, if we’re going to make this work, we’ll have to figure all of this out anyway, right? I mean, we need to figure out what each of us likes and how it works together.”

Christian smiled. “Right. I like snuggling and napping after sex.”

Matt couldn’t resist kissing Christian’s smile. “I like snuggling and napping with you after sex.”

“Good deal.” Christian curled into Matt, wrapping an arm around Matt’s waist and burying his face in Matt’s neck.

***

When Matt woke up a few hours later, he was alone. After a quick trip to the bathroom, he found Christian in the kitchen, looking through his cabinets. He slipped his arms around Christian’s waist.

“Oh, hey.” Christian leaned back against his chest. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I was hungry.”

“Not trying to sneak out?” Matt teased.

“Nope. Not a chance. I was just hoping to steal some of your food before you woke up.”

“What were you going to do when I noticed?” Matt didn’t mention the fact that he probably wouldn’t have noticed.

Christian looked up at him. “Deny all knowledge and blame it on gremlins, maybe.”

Matt laughed. “I might have some spaghetti we can make, or I can order us something.”

“Spaghetti’s fine. I’m kind of low on cash anyway.” Christian nuzzled against him.

“Okay.” Matt dropped a kiss on Christian’s shoulder. “I’ll buy you real food tomorrow.”

Christian smiled and turned around. “You mean like a real date?”

Matt’s eyebrow went up as he looked at Christian with mild incredulity before laughing. “Yeah, like a real date. Assuming you want to go out on a real date with me.”

“Well, I don’t know if I have anything to wear and I was planning on washing my hair, but I suppose I can rearrange my schedule.”

Matt poked Christian in the ribs causing Christian to squeak and stick his tongue out at Matt while jumping out of Matt’s reach. “No tickling.”

Matt pretended to think about it for a minute before conceding. “Okay, no tickling. Cooking.” He looked down at himself. “Pants first, though, I think.” Matt winked at Christian and went to find clothes. Christian followed a few moments later and practically bumped into Matt as they passed in the living room.

“Lights, too.” Matt paused to kiss Christian before turning on a lamp on his way to the kitchen.

Matt started water boiling and hunted through the cabinet for a jar of sauce. When Christian returned, he held up the jar for approval. “You don’t have any food allergies or weird aversions do you?

“Nope, none. What are we having?”

“Mushrooms and garlic sauce. That work for you?

“Perfect. Can I do anything to help?”

“I think I have it under control. I’m a bachelor — spaghetti and take out are my specialties.” He dumped the sauce into a pan and turned it on low to simmer.

He could feel Christian’s eyes on him as he moved around the kitchen, getting plates and silverware, occasionally stirring the noodles and sauce. He’d chosen the tight T-shirt he wore on purpose, knowing how well it showed off his muscles, but he hadn’t expected Christian’s gaze to be so distracting.

Finally running out of things to do while they waited for the food to cook, Matt leaned against the counter and looked over at Christian. “Have you registered for classes next semester yet?”

Christian shook his head. “Not for a couple of weeks, but I already know what I’m taking.”

Christian filled in some more details about what classes he was taking and what his recent exams had been in.

“I tend to babble about stuff I’m interested in so just stop me if I get boring,” Christian said as they dished out their spaghetti.

Matt shook his head, wanting to convince Christian he really was interested. “No, I really do find it interesting. I’m not just pretending. I only got into computers because I tested well and it was available when I went in the service.”

“So, if you could do it again, would you do it differently?” Christian asked between bites of pasta.

Matt shrugged. “I don’t know. I really didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do after high school and wasn’t really into spending more time in school, you know?”

“I take it you didn’t like high school very much?”

Matt twirled his spaghetti around his fork. “It was just something I had to do. I played sports, but I didn’t really run with that crowd. Mostly kept to myself, studied, got good grades. Hung out with Sam and Alison.”