Which Lie Did I Tell? (44 page)

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Authors: William Goldman

Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Film & Video, #Nonfiction, #Performing Arts, #Retail

BOOK: Which Lie Did I Tell?
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CUT TO
CHRISTMAS MORNING. A giant tree. It’s a few months later. SHIRLEY is four now, and already gorgeous. PHOEBE is one, and already not. Their parents hold them in their arms--
-- and this much you know: they could not look happier.
And on their radiant faces--
CREDITS COME TO AN END.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN ON
THE MANSION. Perfect autumn morning. Warm, no humidity, slight breeze.
Here comes the CLIMBER, driving up the driveway. He stops by the front door and does something we don’t expect--
--he stays in the car, honks a few times. As he does this--
CUT TO
ECHO. We’re behind her as she walks down the enormous second-floor corridor, calling out.
ECHO
Children, your father’s here.
We hear their reaction--not a joyous one.
CUT TO
ECHO, we’re still behind her as she turns into the nearest bedroom.
ECHO
None of that now.
CUT TO
THE BEDROOM and SHIRLEY standing there--ten years old now. He is a perfectly beautiful young man, slender and brilliant. He is finishing a charcoal sketch of the view from his window--the kid is talented.
SHIRLEY
Why do we have to go, Mother? It’s so boring. You should hear him try and make conversation. Once he gets off the Knicks, death. He has nothing whatsoever of interest to say.
ECHO
That’s not exactly new news, buster, I was married to him.
(starting out)
Now I’ve got wonderful Philharmonic tickets for you.
SHIRLEY
That will certainly help.
CUT TO
THE GREAT PHOEBE. She is lying on her bed in terrible agony. She wears ballet clothes. Her face bears a kind of weird resemblance to Edward G. Robinson.
PHOEBE
I can’t go. I’m burning up.
ECHO
Oh, same song, second verse. It’s only overnight.
(she paddles PHOEBE lightly)
CUT TO
DOWNSTAIRS by the front door.
ECHO is examining her troops. They are perfectly groomed, beautifully dressed. Their manners are beyond reproach.
ECHO, it should be noted, no longer looks like the Audrey Hepburn of
Roman Holiday
. Now she’s a ringer for the Hepburn of
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
. ECHO is thirty-two years old, and still pretty much perfect.
ECHO
Now listen, you two--I am sick of your behavior. You father adores you, he cannot help his limitations. He is as brave as anyone on earth, and I want you to enjoy your weekends. As of now, your whining days are done. Capiche?
(they nod)
CUT TO
ECHO as she opens the front door. There is a small mirror nearby and for an instant only, she checks her appearance. All is well. As the door opens--
CUT TO
THE CLIMBER. There’s a world-weariness now. Bogart in
Casablanca
. Mid-forties, the accompanying flecks of gray.
He nods to his children. It’s kind of sad--he’s awkward, kind of fumbling, at a loss for what to say.
CLIMBER
(a dumb little wave)
Hi, kids--
(they say nothing at all, just stare at him as if he were from another planet. This makes his nervousness worse)
Oh boy, are we going to have fun.
(THE KIDS hug ECHO, get into CLIMBER’S backseat)
You guys want to sit up front with Pop?
PHOEBE
Not really.
SHIRLEY
We’re fine, Dad.
(he hides his hurt, talks to his ex)
CUT TO
ECHO AND THE CLIMBER.
ECHO
(handing him an envelope)
Philharmonic--all-Bartok program--they couldn’t be more thrilled.
(hands him a large basket)
Cook made this for their dinner--all from the health-food store. And their breakfast cereals
have been ground for them. Just put this all in the fridge.
(beat)
You do have one?
CLIMBER
(ignoring this)
Maybe next week they might like a Yankee game.
ECHO
At least you didn’t suggest a tractor pull in New Jersey.
CLIMBER
(soft)
You are so tough.
ECHO
Had a tough husband.
(going to the car)
Three tomorrow, darlings.
CLIMBER
(whipped, he gets in the front. Nods to her)
Echo.
ECHO
Climber.
(as he turns on the motor)
CUT TO
ECHO, waving after them.
CUT TO
THE KIDS in the backseat, kneeling, looking at her, waving back.
CUT TO
Inside the car. Dead silence. THE KIDS stare out the back as ECHO gets smaller and smaller.
CLIMBER drives through the enormous estate.
A TURN now. ECHO disappears.
THE KIDS sit in the back.
Still the silence.
CLIMBER
(an odd thing to say)
Not yet.
(THE KIDS look at him)
Gardeners.
(THE KIDS nod)
CUT TO
THE CAR, driving toward the giant entrance gates, passing several gardeners, who wave to the children, who wave back.
CUT TO
THE GIANT GATES as the car passes through, hits the main road, and the instant that happens--
CUT TO
INSIDE THE CAR.
CLIMBER (CONT’D)
Safe.
(and on that, the KIDS peel into the front seat, grab for him)
Hey, Loves.
THE KIDS (TOGETHER)
(as they embrace their father)
Hey, Climber.
(and on that)
CUT TO
THE CAR, roaring through the gorgeous morning toward the most magical city of all. HOLD on the three, all crammed together in the front seat.
CUT TO
LINCOLN CENTER, early afternoon. Crowds waiting for the ballet and the Philharmonic and the opera and the theater and all the other stuff.
CUT TO
THE CLIMBER, driving slowly along the inner road where cabs drop people off. He stops the car, gets out.
THE KIDS stay in the car, watching him.
CUT TO
THE CLIMBER hurrying to a guy. ANOTHER FATHER. He has his two kids with him, boy and a girl, same age as SHIRLEY AND PHOEBE. Look a lot alike. CLIMBER hands over the Bartok tickets. THE OTHER FATHER is just thrilled. So are the kids. The little girl curtseys, the boy gives CLIMBER a firm handshake. That’s it.
CUT TO
SHIRLEY AND PHOEBE as CLIMBER gets back in the car, starting to drive.
SHIRLEY
He’s divorced too, isn’t he?
CLIMBER
(a sweeping gesture, taking in the crowds)
Shirley, my beloved--every human being within view is happily divorced. If you saw this morning’s
Times
you must have noted the headline that said it is now illegal in Manhattan to rent an apartment to anyone who still claims to be married.
PHOEBE
Why do you always give them our tickets, I wonder?
(CLIMBER says nothing)
It should be noted here that when PHOEBE phrases a question in this way, she is not necessarily looking for the answer.
PHOEBE (CONT’D)
Is it because they look like us, I wonder?
(beat--she looks at CLIMBER now)
Mommy would never have us followed.
CLIMBER
I know--it’s her asshole fiancé I’m worried about.
PHOEBE
Language!
(beat--softly)
He is an asshole, isn’t he?
CLIMBER
(arm around her tight)
That’s my girl.
(Now from that--)
CUT TO
OUTSIDE A PACKED VILLAGE COFFEEHOUSE. In a far corner on the sidewalk, CLIMBER AND SHIRLEY. CLIMBER silently sips his coffee, pays no attention to his son. SHIRLEY doodles away at a large sketch pad, pays no attention to his father.
Now here comes JIMMY around the corner. We haven’t seen him since the wedding-day photo. The intervening years have been hard. He looks old, needs a cane.
He kisses his grandchild on the top of the head, sits next to CLIMBER.
JIMMY
The reason I was called away from Derek Jeter is …?
CLIMBER
I think they’re ready.
JIMMY
(he doesn’t)
You weren’t till you were fifteen.
(to the boy)
Let’s have the pad, Shirl.
(SHIRLEY hands it over)
CUT TO
JIMMY looking at the top page. It’s a very clean drawing of a middle-aged man we’ve never seem before. JIMMY looks at SHIRLEY questioningly: he nod across the street and we
CUT TO
ANOTHER COFFEEHOUSE. Really packed. Half a dozen tables outside.
CUT TO
A MAN sitting by himself at the other coffeehouse. Kind of a vague resemblance to SHIRLEY’S drawing.
CUT TO
JIMMY. He takes some little opera glasses out of his pocket, looks at nothing much for a moment, then casually trains them on the man across the street.
CUT TO
THE MAN ACROSS THE STREET. Coming into focus.
He looks
exactly
like SHIRLEY’S notebook sketch.
CUT TO
THE CLIMBER’S TABLE. SHIRLEY is holding his breath. So is CLIMBER.
JIMMY
(pleased, but you can’t tell)
How long have you been here?
CLIMBER
Twenty minutes.
JIMMY
(nope-- to SHIRLEY)
It’s promising work, Shirl.
SHIRLEY
What’s wrong with it?
JIMMY
(carefully--he loves the kid but the kid’s sensitive)
Nothing, not a thing, but if we need a sketch guy--if we’re somewhere, say, where it’s not safe to trot out a camera, well, it’s gotta
be quick, bam, gone. Work on your speed, kid.
(starts to hand the pad back)
SHIRLEY
Grandpa, Grandpa--please--
(very soft)
--turn the page.
(JIMMY shrugs, flips the page and we)
CUT TO
SHIRLEY’s SKETCHBOOK. It’s
another
exact drawing, this one of the couple in the next table across the street.
JIMMY give the kid a glance, turns again--
CUT TO
THE SKETCH PAD. Yet
another
perfectly accurate drawing of the third table.
JIMMY gives the kid another glance, a beat longer, then as the page is turned a final time--
CUT TO
THE LAST DRAWING. A VERY THIN WOMAN IN HUGE DARK GLASSES. Fighting back tears. A VERY RICH MAN sits alongside. Clearly embarrassed.
One other thing about this sketch--not only are they accurately depicted, the clock high on the wall is included--2:25.
JIMMY
(holding it in-- to CLIMBER)
Jesus--he put the clock in.
CLIMBER
I told you he was ready.
JIMMY
(making sure)
All since you sat down?
SHIRLEY
Grandpa?
(and he hands over another piece of paper. This from a small notepad he holds in his hands.)
CUT TO
THE DRAWING. It’s of JIMMY in the clothes
he’s wearing
. Obviously whipped off since the old man sat down.
SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
I’ve been working on my speed.
CUT TO
JIMMY. Just thrilled, but he would rather die than show it.
JIMMY
Like I said, promising.
(looking around)
Where’s Phoebes?
(no answer)
Oh, I get it, come out, come out…
(he looks round the coffeehouse. Nothing. Now he looks across at the other one.)
CUT TO
Same old shot we’ve seen. The people SHIRLEY sketched, including the CRYING SKINNY WOMAN AND THE RICH EMBARRASSED MAN and the ragamuffin playing in the gutter near their table and
--hmmm--
CUT TO
JIMMY, looking at the sketch pad of the couple and sure enough, at the very bottom of the drawing, there’s the ragamuffin. She’s small, smudged face, tattered clothes.
Now JIMMY gets out his opera glasses again, focuses them and
CUT TO
PHOEBE, sitting quietly, playing in the gutter.
CUT TO
CLIMBER AND HIS DAD AND HIS SON, watching.
JIMMY
She’s seven!
CLIMBER
She’s got genius inside her, Pop.
JIMMY
Besides the memory, what else?
CLIMBER
She can go anyplace, follow anybody--
JIMMY
Get a grip--
we
can follow anybody--
SHIRLEY
--she’s not afraid, Grandpa--
JIMMY
(final)
--seven is seven, kid, end of report.
(and on that)
CUT TO
JIMMY. CLOSE UP. And suddenly the old man is
stunned
.
CUT TO
THE OTHER COFFEE SHOP. THE THIN WOMAN AND THE EMBARRASSED MAN pay, rise, start walking away--
--PHOEBE is walking away, too--ahead of them--
CUT TO
JIMMY, dazed.
JIMMY
She’s pulling … a front tail.
CLIMBER
(a little shocked himself)
I … never showed her--
JIMMY
--I know you didn’t, you can’t
do
it--
CUT TO
THE COUPLE, walking along, talking intently about whatever, while just in front of him, totally ignored, this kid moves quietly.

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