Whirl (Ondine Quartet Book 1) (28 page)

***

Instead of returning to the Academy, I headed for the cove. I
wanted to be alone and the ocean called to me, its murmurs inviting
me closer.

Once I got to the sandy shore, I took off my
shoes. Curling my toes, I savored the feeling of the warm sand
against my skin. I ambled toward the water, the rough coarseness
under my feet changing to the heavy squishiness of wet sand.

I stopped when the cold ocean water reached
my mid-calf. The gentle movement of the waves soothed my legs and
the sound of it lapping against the shore matched the beat of my
heart.

White specks danced on the surface of the
azure-colored high tide. I gazed out at the horizon, staring at the
tiny spot where the line of the ocean touched the sky. Breathing
deep, I turned my face up to the warm afternoon sun and let my
eyelids flutter close.

When my eyes opened, Tristan stood next to
me.

Did I hear him approach? No.

"Do you enjoy sneaking up on me, Gardinel?" I
asked, irritated.

"I wasn't sneaking up on you." He sounded
like he was trying not to laugh. "You haven't learned how to fully
engage your senses yet."

I was getting pretty tired of people pointing
out all the things I didn't know how to do.

"Yeah, well. It's still annoying," I
muttered. "Do gardinels learn how to do that? Or is it just some
selkie thing?"

Tristan considered. "Gardinel training
teaches us how to be stealthy. But the way our people move
naturally differs from ondines, demillirs, and humans."

I suddenly imagined a town full of
soundlessly moving selkies. Weird. Most of their communities were
in the north, dispersed along various coastlines throughout the
world.

"You grew up in the selkie palace, right?
Where is it?"

"Off the coast of northern Alaska."

"Is it all ice and snow?"

"Depends on the time of year."

"And all of you speak that selkie
language?"

A hint of a smile played over his beautiful
lips. "It must drive you crazy that you can't understand what we're
saying."

Was I that obvious? And did he have to look
so delighted over it?

"Maybe I'll ask one of the other gardinels to
teach me." I sniffed. "It sounds a little like French, anyway."

"Similar. It's an archaic form of it."

"And your family lives there?"

"Yes." There was a wistful tone to his
answer. "My father, the King, and my younger brother, Dax. My
mother passed away a few years ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She lived a long and full life."
He gave me a questioning glance. "Why the sudden interest?"

I shrugged. "We studied your kingdom in
class, but there wasn't much information on it."

Tristan nodded. "With the exception of
dessondines, not many people are allowed to visit us."

"Why not?"

"Because visiting us means you're likely to
witness our shape-shifting."

I frowned, confused. "So?"

"So that's always been highly guarded. What
we look like in our seal form is something we rarely show to those
outside our race."

That didn't make sense. Everyone knew that
selkies had both seal and human forms. "Why? What's so secret about
it?"

"Because it's like seeing us naked."

Whoa. Hearing Tristan utter the word naked
was
hot
.

Don't start picturing him naked.

"Our seal form is one-half of our soul," he
continued. "It's the animal representation of who we are. Seeing us
in both our seal and human forms is like exposing all of ourselves
to people we don't know well. We prefer to deal with most other
races in our human form. It makes it easier for everyone."

"If the seal form is one-half your soul,
what's the other half made up of?"

His expression softened. When he had that
look, I always felt a little light-headed. "A living being. What
you would call human, though we have no human blood. Our blood is a
magic that comes from deep within the Earth. But our soul is the
same as any mortal."

"But the dessondines are welcome to visit the
palace because they deal with you in your seal form."

Tristan nodded. "They're creatures of old
magic, just like the selkies. Because they're bound to the water,
we usually interact with them in our seal forms. There's a strong
understanding between our races."

A comfortable silence stretched between us,
with only the roar of the ocean filling it. The mention of
dessondines reminded me of Jourdain's disturbing appearance at the
Council session.

A question that had nagged me since that day
pushed its way to the front.

"I've been thinking," I said slowly. "How did
the Aquidae know the Warden Pair? How did they know who to
target?"

Tristan didn't answer, waiting patiently as I
tried to work through it in my head.

And suddenly it was there. The thing that had
bothered me since I first found out about Cassandra and Kevin. That
little bit of information, burrowed and hidden in the deep recesses
of my mind, sprang free.

"The only people who know the identity of
Warden Pairs are members of the Governing Council…"

My breath came out in an astonished rush.

"There's a traitor."

I knew from his eyes that he was thinking the
same thing.

"Do you know who it is?"

He shook his head, his expression tight with
frustration. "No. And at this point, it's only a suspicion. I
haven't spoken about it to anyone." I felt a small fluttering in my
chest. He was choosing to share this only with me. "Until there's
more evidence, I don't want to stir things up by insinuating we may
have someone betraying us from the inside."

It was a good point. If Haverleau had even an
inkling that this might have started from within, there would be
mass chaos.

"But…why?"

"I don't know." His voice was heavy. "If it
was only about Cassandra and Kevin's deaths, it might be believable
that the information was accidentally compromised. Someone could've
opened their mouth, and the knowledge could've spread until the
Warden Pair's identity got to the wrong people."

"But you don't think this was an accident or
coincidence," I said.

Tristan suddenly looked tired. "The
information the Aquidae had was too specific. They knew the layout
of Haverleau. They knew about the ball. They knew where and how to
attack. Someone deliberately gave them the information they
needed."

"This sucks," I said.

His face was grim. "Yes, it does."

We lapsed into another silence, lost in our
own thoughts. Troubled, my mind drifted over the idea that an
ondine or demillir was working together with Aquidae to hunt me
down. And it was clear that whoever it was didn't care about
collateral damage.

So many had already died. The Council had
even pushed through a radical change in the law so that I'd have a
chance to do what the prophecy stated. But my frustrating lack of
progress prevented me from taking any action.

I
hated
feeling helpless. And I hated
not being able to jump in and fight back. How many more had to
suffer before I was able to do anything about it?

Despite the beauty of the cove and the
soothing qualities of the water, I found myself getting worked up
again.

I clenched my fists. "There's got to be more
I can do."

Tristan glanced at me and I recognized his
expression. He was looking at me like I was about to punch someone.
Which I probably was.

"You're already doing everything you can."
His tone was kind.

I snorted. "I could do much more if everyone
would just tell me the truth. But no. Let's leave Kendra out of the
loop because she doesn't need to know anything about herself or her
family."

"That's
not
true and you know it."
Tristan's voice hardened.

Well, maybe it wasn't exactly true
considering the conversation we'd just had about a traitor. And
Tristan had always answered any questions I had. But I suddenly
couldn't stop.

I sighed loudly. "Oh, really? Let's review."
The venom in my voice surprised even me.

"No one told me my mother's a powerful
clairvoyant that made the prophecy about the
sondaleur
. No
one told me that everyone believes I am, in fact, said
sondaleur
." I faced Tristan as the anger started to unfurl.
"No one told me just the
suggestion
of an ondine fighting
back is enough to declare you mentally unstable."

"Kendra…"

"No one told me that at seventeen I'd somehow
be responsible for the lives of the
entire
elemental world."
Outrage fueled me, pushing me on. "No one told me I'd have to go
through hoops to change the damned law just for the opportunity to
train."

Tristan eyed me calmly. "A lot of people are
working to protect you."

"But that's just it!" I threw my hands up. "I
don't
want
anyone to protect me. I just want some straight
answers so I can take care of things myself!"

"Everyone is trying to help you the best they
can." His voice was still gentle.

"By keeping me in the dark? Don't you people
realize the more you keep from me, the longer others will have to
sacrifice themselves for me? Am I the only one that sees how crazy
that is?"

Tristan remained unfazed. "You have to be
patient. A real education sometimes means discovering things on
your own. True learning takes place when you're ready for it."

The teacher-like tone of his answer was the
last straw. I'd had just about enough of these enigmatic,
patronizing comments from him, Nexa, Julian, and everyone else.

Something deep within me hit the breaking
point, and the center where I locked away the darkness cracked
open. All my frustration, fear, doubt, and anger roared up like a
tornado, tearing through the last bits of my control. And to be
honest, I welcomed it. I didn't want to be in control any more.

"Enough with the bullshit."

I stepped forward and shoved my hand against
Tristan's chest.

"It's just so easy for you, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. The amazing Warrior
Prince." The words came out bitter and sharp. "Everyone worships
you. Thinks you're God's gift. And you stand there and have the
nerve to tell me these things, when you don't know
anything
about me."

Every petty, ugly, childish thought flared up
in my head. Accusing him of not knowing me was pretty stupid,
because I was beginning to think I didn't know anything about
myself. And the thing of it was, I knew the truth. I knew it was
never easy for Tristan, either. He helped me, gave me more
information than most people. He did it because of his innate
kindness, that serious compassion that made my heart ache.

But I couldn't help it. The black bile I'd
repeatedly shoved down over the past several weeks boiled up and
spewed out.

I wanted to lash out. I wanted to fight. I
wanted to break his perfect control.

Taking another step forward, I let it all
come out. "You make these comments, pretending that you actually
care. But I know the truth. You're keeping your end of the promise
you made to my mother and grandmother. You're doing your duty
toward the
sondaleur
. Your damned honor won't let you do
otherwise."

Tristan stared at me, shocked.

"I'm your
job
. Just some fucking job
you're responsible for as gardinel." I was shouting now. "So come
off your high horse and quit acting like you give a crap. You don't
need to —"

He grabbed my hand and pushed it back. He
held it against me, just above my hammering heart. His expression
was fierce, his eyes stormy with emotion.

"You don't know what you're talking about,"
he growled.

That sent me over the edge.

"Why?" I taunted. "Because you're keeping
something else from me?"

I shoved, trying to push him away. Bringing
my right leg out to the side, I kicked his thigh. My foot bounced
off his leg. Ouch. I threw my left fist at his face and he knocked
it aside with ridiculous ease. Grabbing my wrists with one hand, he
held them against me while his other arm snaked around my waist. I
fought, but it was useless. I couldn't break free of his hold.

"Let…go!" Goddamn it. He was too strong.

"Kendra," he said in my ear. "Stop this
—"

I tried to kick him again, aiming my left
foot a little higher this time. Before I could make contact, he
hooked his foot around the ankle of my standing leg and flipped me
down to the wet sand.

He held me until I landed so that his arm,
and not my back, absorbed most of the impact. He lay right on top
of me, every inch of his body pressed against mine. One hand moved
to rest on my hip while the other held my wrists down in the sand
above my head.

Waves gently washed around us, the sea water
soaking my back, my clothes, my hair. Breathing hard, I glared at
him. Tristan's face, darkened now with an emotion I'd never seen
before, was only a few inches away from mine. His
pedaillon
dangled down, brushing against my collarbone, and his breathing
became more rapid.

His body was warm and strong, its closeness
sending a tingle of electricity racing through me.

And right then, I decided.

I was sick of pretending I didn't have these
stupid feelings for him. Sick of wanting and needing things I
couldn't have.

I wanted to touch him so badly, it hurt.

Raising my head, I brushed my lips against
his. Just the faintest touch, a caress of my mouth against his. He
jerked, pulling slightly away. His dark eyes blazed and his jaw
tightened.

"Don't," he ground out.

That night at Axis I'd felt his darkness, the
powerful edge that made him one of the greatest selkie warriors.
Now I saw Tristan on the verge of losing control, the thing he
fought so hard to maintain. And I remembered the awful price he'd
paid to acquire it. Taking on the responsibility of killing his
brother, fulfilling his place as Crown Prince…