Whirlwind Groom (21 page)

His hand slipped down over the soft give of her stomach, the finespun lawn of her undergarment to the heat between her legs. She lifted into his touch.

He unerringly found the opening in her drawers and eased two fingers inside, stroking the heated satin of her inner thigh.

“Please, Davis Lee.” Her hips rose as her arms tightened around him. “Love me.”

He brought his hand up to touch her face, drinking in the sight of her. Her face was flushed, her eyes a dreamy green. The top of her undergarment was spread wide, revealing her breasts pushed high against his chest, moist and glistening from his mouth. Blood pounded in his ears, his groin.

She pressed kisses to his palm, raised up to do the same to the corner of his mouth, his jaw, his ear. “Davis Lee, take me to bed.”

Even in his right mind, he couldn't have resisted her. He buried his face in her neck, the thick cloud of her hair, filling himself up with her scent, her warmth, her softness.

“Make me forget,” she whispered brokenly. “Make me forget.”

The words reached through the haze of desire, cleared enough of his mind to know something was wrong. He realized then how far they'd gone, what she was doing. What
he
was doing.

Several seconds passed as he dragged in a steadying breath and tried to restrain the ruthless need swirling inside him. He withdrew his hand, settled it at her waist. “Josie.”

“Mmm?” She was kissing the side of his neck, the hot tickle of her breath in his ear straining the edges of a control he'd barely regained.

He was breathing hard, shaking, and realized she was, too. “Look at me.”

Finally she did, her lashes half-raised, desire smoldering in her eyes. Her dark hair was tousled, her lips wet and red from his.

The sight, the feel of her naked flesh threatened to pull him under. “We can't do this, honey,” he said hoarsely.

“What?” Her eyes reflected the struggle to comprehend, and he saw the moment when she finally understood. She sat up. “Davis Lee—”

“Listen.” He cupped her face in both his hands, grazing his thumbs lightly along her cheekbones. “I want to love you, Josie, but when we come together, I want it to be something good. A memory that isn't tainted by what happened earlier.”

“But I need you.”

The ache in her voice tore at him. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Not like this. I don't want us to be together as a result of your being upset. Our loving should be only between the two of us, without the bad memory of another man and what he did to you.”

She trembled. “But you can make those horrid things he did go away.”

“Is that all you want between us? A way to forget?”

“No,” she said on a ragged breath.

“I'm not turning
you
away, honey.” His hands delved into the hair on either side of her head. “Tonight just isn't the right time.”

In the play of firelight, he could see color flush her cheeks. Her gaze skittered away and she shifted, looking ill at ease. “I'm…sorry. I wasn't trying to tease.”

“I know that.”

“I thought you wanted me the way I wanted you.”

“I did. I
do.
Till I can't see straight, but I don't want to take you this way.” He gently nudged her chin up with his knuckle. “Tell me you understand what I'm saying, honey. Why I'm saying it.”

She shuddered, her gaze going to his lips then back to his eyes. “You're right. I know you are.”

Relief sliced sharply through him.

“Do you want me to go?” Her hand fisted nervously in the fabric of his shirt.

Slightly taken aback, he asked, “Do you want to?”

“No. I don't want to be alone tonight.”

“All right then.” He hugged her close, trying not to think about how easy it would be to blank his mind and peel off her clothes. How damn sweet it would be to slide into her body. But he didn't want their first time together to be shadowed by what had happened tonight.

He tugged the blanket over her and grinned. “All my good intentions won't be worth a damn if I don't cover you up.”

“And you'll really stay with me?”

“Yes.”

“All night?”

“Whatever you want.”

A sweet, sad smile curved her lips. “Like this?”

He looked into her eyes, knew that holding her after his body was already primed would be agony, but he couldn't deny her. “Yes, if you want. Except…”

“What?” She looked stricken.

He rubbed her back. “Won't you let me put you to bed?”

She paused for a heartbeat then a tiny spark lit her eyes. “That's what I've been trying to get you to do.”

With those words, a tightly wound tension inside him released. She was going to be all right. “I'll sit with you. I won't go anywhere.”

“Can't you lie beside me? Just hold me?”

Could he? All he had to do was think about what she'd been through tonight. She didn't need sex. She did need
him.
“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you.” She kissed his cheek then nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

He stood and carried her into his bedroom, his knees weak as realization flooded him. Secrets or not, smart or not, he was falling for this woman. Hard.

Emotions he couldn't begin to sort out tangled inside him. He'd told himself not to let things go further between them until he knew more about her, but it was too late. And he wasn't sure he gave a damn.

“I
'm all right.” The next morning Josie watched Davis Lee prowl around her hotel room for the second time in five minutes. “Now that you've checked everything, I don't mind being alone.”

“You know you don't have to.” He turned, wearing the same somber, determined look he'd worn all morning. “I can stay until church lets out, then I can get Catherine or Cora or anyone you want.”

His blue eyes were dark with concern. She wanted badly to reassure him, but so far she hadn't been able to. She walked over and laid the bundle of his clothes she'd brought on the low dresser that held a washbasin. “I'm bruised, but I'm not afraid.”

“Are you sure?” He braced his hands on his hips, his gaze sweeping the small space again. “I don't mind staying outside in the hall for a bit.”

“I appreciate it, Davis Lee, but you've already done so much.”

His jaw tightened at that and Josie wondered why. He'd been tense ever since she'd woken this morning in his arms. Part of it was concern for her, she knew. But there was something about his manner that she couldn't decipher.
“I'm fine. Honest. You locked up that man and he can't hurt me again.”

A shadow passed across his face as he studied her. Earlier this morning, he had told her that if they waited until church started, nearly everyone would attend and he could get her back to the hotel without anyone seeing her or knowing she'd spent the night at his house. And he had. “Thank you for sneaking me back over here. If anybody asks why we missed church, I'll say I had to tend to some business.”

He nodded. “I'll say I didn't feel like going, which I didn't.”

She wished he would hold her again, but in the daylight, here in her room, she felt too forward to ask. And something about the leashed restraint in his rangy body held her back.

He had loaned her a needle and thread and she'd tacked down the rip on the front of her dress so the bodice once more covered her underclothing. A couple of whip stitches reattached her skirt to its top.

He had shaken out her shawl as best he could, but it needed a good washing. He'd done everything for her, including hold her all night long against the safe wall of his chest. At first she'd been too wound up to close her eyes. Her breasts, her whole body still tingled from his touch, his kisses.

But she had soon gone to sleep. Waking up this morning with him, both of them fully clothed and in their stocking feet, felt more right than anything in her life ever had.

His gaze turned hard as he looked at her cheek. “How's your face?”

“It's still sore.” She smiled. He'd asked her four times since breakfast. “How does it look?”

“Like it hurts.” He took a step toward her then stopped, folding his arms across his chest. “And your jaw?”

“It's not uncomfortable enough to keep me from eating.” She grinned, not caring that the movement made her bruised
face sting. “I must've eaten at least three of your biscuits besides the eggs and coffee you made.”

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His stance was guarded and his eyes narrowed as he took in her damaged dress. “Are you going to repair that dress and keep it?”

“I haven't decided for sure. I know it's frivolous to get rid of it, but I don't think I can stand to wear it ever again.”

“You shouldn't.” Somehow his jaw became even harder.

Not knowing what else to do, she closed the distance between them and put a hand on his arm. “I'm okay.”

His face gentled and she saw a combination of protectiveness and searing need in his eyes. Her stomach gave a funny flip, the same way it had last night when his hands moved over her body. The hot look in his eyes told her he remembered everything that had gone on between them at his house. And the ache in her body reminded her of what hadn't.

She regretted that they hadn't made love, but Davis Lee had been right to pull back. Adrenaline and fear had addled her brain; her body had taken over. He'd saved her from more than rape. He had most likely saved her life and he had certainly safeguarded her reputation by getting her back here without anyone seeing her leave his house.

“Thank you for breakfast.” She wanted to lose herself in his blue eyes. Go away with him somewhere and forget everything except the two of them. “And for letting me use your tooth powder.
And
for taking such good care of me last night.”

“I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, Josie—”

“No.” She put her fingers against his warm lips. “Don't you dare. You got there in plenty of time and I'm thankful.”

A dark dangerous light came into his eyes. For an instant, he looked like he wanted to sweep her into his arms. Josie
wished he would. Instead, he said gruffly, “I'm glad you're all right.”

“Me, too.” She wanted to kiss him, but she settled for squeezing his taut forearm.

Their relationship had changed. She knew he felt it, too.

“I'm just a holler away if you need me.”

She nodded.

“For anything.”

“Okay.”

“All you have to do is come to the window.”

“I know.” What was going on in his head?

“Keep your door locked. It would probably be a good idea if you jammed a chair under the knob, too.” His eyes were intense, his shoulders stiff.

“I'll be careful, Davis Lee. I won't be careless, like I was last night.”

His gaze, sharp and urgent, swerved to hers. “That was
not
your fault, Josie. Not at all.”

She nodded, wanting to feel as sure as he sounded. “Please don't worry about me. I'll stay busy today with your mending. I doubt I'll go out at all.”

She pointed to the stack of his clothes. “It won't take me long to fix the buttons on those two shirts so I can probably get them back to you this afternoon. Mending the trousers and darning your socks will take a little longer.”

“I'll come get the shirts.”

“It's no trouble for me to bring them.”

“I'll feel better if I come. Send word when you're ready.”

“I certainly won't complain about seeing you.” She smiled, trying to figure out what was bothering him. He wasn't being overprotective exactly, just cautious. “Davis Lee,” she said gently, “I know you need to get to the jail. It's okay to go.”

The disquiet she caught in his eyes caused a tug of sad
ness inside her. She didn't know what was going on, but she didn't like it. Even more confused than before, Josie gave in to the urge that compelled her to reach for his hand.

At her touch, he stilled. She could feel the strength, the power in his whipcord-lean body. “Please don't worry about me. I'm all right.”

He stared down at her, his features grim, his eyes softening. He didn't try to move away, didn't act as if he minded her touch. He didn't act as if he felt…anything, but she knew he did. His manner was restrained, almost reluctant. As if he blamed her for what had happened in the alley or later at his house. But she was certain he didn't blame her. He wouldn't.

She squeezed his big hand with both of hers. “Because of you, I'm just fine. Now get out of here before you make me cry. I did enough of that last night to fill up two water buckets.”

At the mention of last night, his shoulders went as stiff as cordwood. “All right, but I'll check in on you later.”

“I'd like that.”

He gently disentangled his hand from hers and walked out. She didn't hear him move away from the door until she turned the key in the lock. She crossed to the window. After a minute, she saw him step into the street. He turned and looked up at her, his face so fiercely resolute that her heart thudded hard.

She gave him a little wave. Just the thought of leaving town, leaving
him,
ripped at her. She couldn't do it. She wanted a chance with Davis Lee. All she had to do—without killing the outlaw herself—was figure out a way to see that McDougal got the justice he deserved.

Throughout the day, she tried to keep her mind off the attack and stay focused on Davis Lee or her work. Fixing the buttons on his shirts helped; she removed them all and neatly sewed them back on whether they needed it or not.
The well-worn fabric held his dark, woodsy scent and inhaling it helped settle her nerves as did glancing out the window every few minutes. He checked on her twice, but he didn't stay more than a minute each time.

Just before she turned down her lamp to go to bed, she went to the window. Hazy moonlight spilled onto Main Street and Josie saw Davis Lee standing outside the jail. Lamplight from inside his office outlined his broad shoulders, touched his hat and black shirt with amber. His gaze was trained on her window.

She touched the glass to show him she saw him, knowing he was there to put her mind at ease. The thought had her going all soft and shivery inside before she sighed and went to bed.

When she woke the next morning, her first thought was of him. As much as she enjoyed being with him, as safe and right as it felt, she couldn't forget about Ian McDougal. Every time Josie felt the growing urge to turn her back on the plans she'd made for the outlaw, Rosemary's letter and the awful news about William's mother popped into her mind. Josie wanted to forget, leave the past where it belonged and move on. With Davis Lee.

Though still conflicted about her plan for McDougal, she was certain of her emotions regarding the sheriff. Her feelings for him were not going away, even if she left Whirlwind. Maybe not ever. Losing a chance with him would be something she would grieve over the rest of her days.

Since the day they'd spent in Abilene, her resistance to him had been steadily eroding. After Saturday night, she didn't have one defense left against him. Her mind had been filled with nothing except him. No McDougal, no William, no murders. She was tired of focusing on vengeance, tired of trying to balance her feelings for Davis Lee with what she felt for her family.

She had to do something. The attempt last week on
McDougal's life made clear that someone else wanted the outlaw dead. If she could figure out who that person was, maybe she could let
them
do the deed.

There was a good chance Cora would know about everything the outlaws had done and the people they had hurt, but Josie didn't have the heart to broach the painful subject so close to the anniversary of Ollie Wilkes's death.

She could ask around town, but she didn't want to be that blatant. The last thing she needed was for someone to tell Davis Lee she'd been asking about all the crimes committed by the McDougal gang. How could she find out such a thing?

It hit her then that accounts of the outlaws' vicious misdeeds, at least in this part of the state, had probably been documented in Whirlwind's newspaper. The
Prairie Caller
sat in a small brick building between Pete Carter's saloon—a place Josie would do her utmost to avoid—and Haskell's General Store.

She didn't know if she would uncover any information or what she would do with it if she did, but she had to try. Learning something would help her figure out a way to fulfill her vow to her parents, to William and his family without destroying Davis Lee's feelings for her.

 

He never should've touched her.
Even on Monday evening as Davis Lee and Josie stood behind Catherine's house, he couldn't stop thinking it. Images of that bastard on top of her kept stabbing through his mind. What that thug had done to her, what he could've done, twisted viciously at Davis Lee's insides. She'd been hurt, nearly violated and how had he responded? He'd put his hands on her, his mouth.

She had wanted to be close to him, to feel safe and he'd nearly peeled her clothes off. He would've taken her then
if her soft plea to make her forget hadn't reminded him of exactly what had happened.

They'd both been rattled; that was to be expected. But his common sense had unraveled faster than a frayed rope. The urge to have her had consumed him. How could she feel safe with him now?

When he and Josie had first arrived at Catherine's small yellow house outside of town, she and Andrew had come out to say hello, but now he and Josie were alone. Though a couple of times he caught her watching him with a perplexed look on her face, she seemed comfortable with him. Which reinforced his decision to keep his hands off her.

Neither of them said much as she practiced shooting. Because the days were growing shorter, Davis Lee had called for her an hour earlier than the usual time. The sun was setting in a blaze of reds and oranges, the falling temperature putting a snap of color into Josie's cheeks. The scent of wood smoke skimmed the air, floating from Catherine's house as well as from town. Before that bastard had attacked her on Saturday night, Josie had hit four out of six targets consistently. She did the same tonight.

“You did real well,” he said when she decided to stop for the evening.

She beamed. “I have a good teacher.”

He hadn't kissed her since Saturday night at his house and he wouldn't, but he sure wanted to.

“Can you believe we're already into October?” She rubbed her arms, though she'd told him she was warm enough in her long, dark green wool bodice and skirt. “Pretty soon, it will be too cold to continue my lessons. And too dark.”

He murmured in agreement, but his attention wasn't on the weather or her lessons. There was still enough light that he could see the bruise on Josie's cheek and the edge of her jaw. His fists clenched every time he looked at her. Whirl
wind was his town and he was supposed to protect its people, especially women. Especially her. And he'd failed.

He cleared his throat. “Josie, I haven't been able to get that polecat to the jail in Abilene yet.”

She looked a little surprised, but not bothered. “All right.”

“One of Jake's ranch hands rode in yesterday with the news that there had been an accident at his ranch. He's been out there ever since Sunday morning so he wasn't able to take the prisoner to Abilene.”