Whiskey Girl (5 page)

Doug felt prompted to ask the question
because he wanted to find out if she left her back door unlocked as well. When
she walked over and pulled it open, he knew that before he left they were going
to come to an understanding about safety.

“Shit.” The word left Doug’s mouth before
his filter had time to kick in. Immediately he was shown the reason for the
clips holding her kitchen curtains closed. Directly behind her was a house that
sat up on a rise. The backyard was surrounded by a chain-link fence but it did
nothing to hide the cute little playhouse and children’s toys. There was a
constant reminder of what she’d lost staring her right in the eye every single
day.

“Salad and potatoes okay to go along with
the steak?” Ausha was standing in front of the refrigerator, the door standing
wide open.

Closing the back door, Doug then joined
her. “Sounds good to me.” He took the steaks she removed and headed toward the
sink.

They worked in unison until the meal was
cooked, food eaten and the mess cleaned up. Conversation had stayed on neutral
territory but wouldn’t remain that way for long.

“How about we grab our drinks and head into
the other room?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before putting
his words into action. The table placed too much space between them. He wanted
to be able to feel the warmth of her sitting beside him and so he steered her
toward the couch when they entered the living room.

“Have you always been this high-handed and
bossy?”

Doug chuckled. “If you ask my mom, the
answer would be yes.” He then asked a question of his own. “Have you always
been so irresponsible with your own safety?”

“No, not always.”

“Good.” Doug nodded his head. “That means I
won’t have to teach you how to close your curtains and lock your doors because
evidently you already know how to do those things and have been choosing not
to. Am I right?”

Ausha exhaled heavily. “Of course I know
how to do those things.” She was getting fidgety, irritated.

“Then why don’t you get up and show me how
it’s done?” It might have been phrased as a question but his tone told
otherwise.

“Get up and do it yourself if you’re that
damn scared.” Her words shouldn’t have made him laugh but for some reason he
couldn’t help it. She was a fighter, which was a very good thing. She was going
to need that spirit to carry her through and bring her out, mostly unscathed,
on the other side.

“Either you can do it alone or I can spank
your ass for putting yourself in danger and then we can do it together. Your
choice.”

Doug was absolutely dead serious. He didn’t
give idle threats. While he would enjoy more than anything feeling the smooth
flesh of her ass heat beneath his hand, he wasn’t quite sure Ausha was into the
same type of thing. He truly hoped he didn’t have to find out in such a way
either.

From the look on her face she wasn’t quite
sure whether to believe him or not. When she finally picked her jaw up it was
only to snap it closed. She bestowed upon him a look that said there was no way
he could be serious.

“I’m dead serious. You’ve got a minute to
make up your mind.”

For a second Doug thought she was going to
test him to see how far he would go. She must have thought better of it though
because she moved to close the curtains and lock the door just as he’d asked.

“The kitchen door too, and later we’ll go
around and check out the windows.”

She returned and he patted the spot next to
him. When she regained her seat, he turned to her. “You lived in Chicago. I
know you didn’t leave yourself open then too, did you?”

“Of course not, but this isn’t Chicago.”

“And you don’t see yourself as being
important enough to warrant a locked door.” It was the part she’d left unsaid.

“I don’t really care.” Her tone was flat.
For a moment Doug actually believed her.

“Why don’t you have any pictures of Lauren
out?”

His question startled her into looking
directly at him. The emotions to cross her face only lasted for a minute before
Ausha looked away. “It’s too hard.”

At least that was the truth. “Is it easier
to act like she never existed?” Doug knew he was being a major asshole. He also
knew the question would be like opening Pandora’s Box.

When she attempted to rise, he placed a
hand on her leg, holding her in place. “Stay put.”

Doug wasn’t sure whether to duck and run or
ride out the storm he started. Her face had gone ashen, her eyes flashed dark
and dangerous. “You don’t know fuck about me or Lauren, so either get off your
high horse or get out.”

She didn’t get hysterical or cry. Doug thought
he might have preferred it to the cold and calculated woman beside him. Her
back was ramrod straight. Her composure so tight he was afraid to touch her for
fear she might break.

“You’re right. I don’t know you but I want
to. And I don’t know about Lauren because you’ve chosen to make her a part of
your past.” He took the chance of removing his hand from her leg and hoped like
hell she would keep her seat. When she remained where she was, Doug moved his
hand to hers. He engulfed her clenched fist tight in his own then added, “She’s
not a part of your past, Ausha. She’s right here with you every single day.”

“I don’t want to do this.”

More than anything she didn’t want to do
it, with him or anyone else. She needed to be able to forget, and talking about
things would only make it worse, the pain more raw.

“But you need to.”

Ausha knew he was right. She would
eventually need to do something if she planned to participate in life again.
Problem was, until meeting Doug she hadn’t made up her mind whether she wanted
to live or not. Oh, she had never contemplated suicide, it just wasn’t
something Ausha could do. But she had pretty much given up doing anything other
than work. She surely never contemplated being anything but alone. How was it
possible such profound changes could happen in a very short amount of time?

“Have you talked to anyone?”

Ausha couldn’t help it, she stood then.
Pacing didn’t help, pretty much nothing did, with one exception, so she headed
back to the kitchen. As if on autopilot, she grabbed a small glass tumbler from
the cabinet. The clink of ice hitting glass seemed to calm her a little. When
she reached for the bottle of Jack she kept handy on the kitchen counter,
Doug’s hand covered her own.

“It doesn’t actually help, you know.
Everything will still be there when you wake up tomorrow morning, including a
headache and sour stomach.”

Oh great, now he was going to lecture her
on her drinking habits. “I drink daily, Doug, never too much but never quite
enough either. Believe me, I know it’ll all be there come morning, but what
matters is that for a few hours tonight I might actually get some sleep.”

He removed his hand with a sigh then stood
back and watched as she poured herself a serving. She took a sip, and as usual,
it felt like golden honey going down her throat. She’d always loved a good
glass of whiskey. Of course, Jack couldn’t be considered good compared to some
of the stuff she used to drink.

It was the one thing that always set her
aside from the rest of her crowd in Chicago. She couldn’t stomach wine or
champagne and never had a taste for the fruity drinks. There was something edgy
about whiskey she’d always enjoyed.

After she swigged down another four-finger
serving, she set the glass in the sink then turned back to face Doug, willing
to finally answer his question. “Since I can see you aren’t going away anytime
soon, no, I haven’t talked to anyone.”

Ausha was surprised when instead of
lecturing her he took her hand and led her back to the couch. “Might help.”

“Might.”

She wasn’t ready to accede overly much to
his point. The thought of talking to a complete stranger about her life left
her feeling colder than usual.

“I’ll take that as a maybe. Now how about
if I kiss you again?”

It was about as close to asking permission
as he’d done as of yet. Kind of threw Ausha for a loop. She couldn’t seem to
come up with an answer so she leaned into him instead. He took her change of
position exactly as she hoped he would and initiated a kiss.

This one was different from any of the
others. They were alone and it was neither gentle nor harsh but somewhere
thoroughly in between. Their breath mingled as his lips touched hers. The
warmth of him permeated her whole body. His tongue darted into her mouth,
taking and yet not taking.

Ausha couldn’t seem to get close enough
even though she was plastered to his side. She wanted to crawl inside him, to
be safe from the cruelty of the outside world. He was larger than life and for
the first time in a long time, she felt safe. His broad shoulders shielded her,
his strong arms held her. His nearness felt right and oh so very wrong, but she
wouldn’t allow herself to think about the wrong part just yet.

There would be time enough for
self-recriminations afterward. For now, she was going to let go completely and
just be in the moment. It was taking a huge gamble. He very well could be a
lying womanizer for all she knew.

No,
she told
herself. She wouldn’t believe it of him. He’d done nothing to make her think
such a thing.

Yeah, neither had Brian, you dumb twit!

Her inner voice was about to win when Doug
deepened the kiss. He tilted her head until he had better access to the inside
of her mouth where he traced her teeth with his tongue then sucked her bottom
lip until it felt bee stung. When his hands roamed her back, Ausha forgot about
the argument she’d been having with herself mere seconds ago.

She could no longer hold back. His kiss was
too much and not nearly enough. When she broke away from him, Doug growled. He
settled down when she straddled his lap on her knees. The couch cushions gave
way beneath their weight, bringing her denim-covered core into direct contact
with the erection straining to be free from beneath his zipper.

God, it had been a long time since she’d
felt anything so wonderful. More than anything she wanted to feel his hard
length buried deep within her. “Take me, Doug.” Ausha clawed at his pants in an
attempt to release the snaps.

“Not gonna happen, darlin’.”

Certainly she hadn’t heard him right? A
whimper escaped her throat as he cupped one of her breasts in the palm of his
hand. “Easy, baby. I’ll take care of you, but we’ll do it my way.” She didn’t
care how they did it, as long as it got done.

Finally
, she
thought when he lifted her shirt until her bra was exposed. The thin black lace
did nothing to hide her from view, and Doug didn’t take the time to divest her
of the garment. Without further ado he sucked at her nipple right through the
lacy cup.

His fingers plucked and pulled at her other
nipple. It felt like heaven and hell all rolled into one. It had been so long
since she’d been touched, Ausha’s sensitivity levels were off the chart. When
he added teeth into the mix, she moaned. Pain had never been pleasurable for
her before, but that had definitely done something good. Her whole body had thrummed
to life at the intense sensation.

“You like that, darlin’?”

Oh fuck yeah she did. “Please,” was all she
managed to croak between her arousal-parched lips.

Doug’s hands tightened on her hips, moving
her until she straddled one thigh. He then rocked her back and forth until they
found a rhythm that drove her crazy with need.

“I want you to fuck my leg, baby. Let me
see you come.”

His words made no sense. All she understood
was the need to get there, to feel herself splinter into a million pieces.
Ausha held on to him, tucking her face into the crook where shoulder met neck.
His scent was musky and masculine. The feel of his warm flesh against her face
was erotic as hell. She felt protected and free and very much in need.

The feel of his hand tangling in her hair
was what finally brought her to the pinnacle. When he tugged until she was
staring him right in the face, Ausha absolutely could not hold back. She came
on a strangled cry of mourning and lost time, and all the while she struggled
with her body, her memories, Doug was there to hold her.

It didn’t escape her notice he was
breathing heavily or how his heart thundered. She wanted to offer herself in
order to remedy the situation. He’d done as much for her without insisting on
more or even taking her up on her offer, even when she’d insisted. Problem was
she was so tired, too tired. Ausha felt emotionally drained and embarrassed by
her actions to boot. When she wiggled, trying to remove herself from his lap,
Doug held tight.

“I like you right where you are.” His tone
was sincere. He meant what he said, which was a relief.

“Will you hold me, please?” Later she would
puzzle out why she’d felt it okay to make herself so vulnerable.

“Did any of that make you feel more alive?”