Whiskey Neat (The Uncertain Saints MC Book 1) (29 page)

“That’s not true,” Shiloh said from behind me. “I was just as responsible here as you were, and I owe them just as much of an apology as you do.”

My head dropped to my chest as Shiloh came to a stop beside me.

She grabbed a hold of my hand, offering her silent support.

I’d been a shitty person.

Here my sister was, a grown woman that I’d manipulated and forced to choose sides, still trying to protect me when I’d done absolutely nothing to protect her.

Not like I should have been doing.

My father looked in between us, a smile curving up the corner of one lip.

“Never thought I’d see the day, you know.” He said. “You and your brother have it…but you and your sister never did, and I fucking
like
that.”

The confusion on both of our faces must have showed, because dad laughed.

“Let’s just get this shit over with. We’re all sorry. I’m sorry. You’re sorry. She’s sorry. Now, who wants a bacon cheese burger?” He asked. “I drove all the way over here, and I’m eating a burger from Jucy’s. Y’all can join me or not, I could care less. I’ve been craving bacon like a motherfuck…”

“Really Silas?” Sawyer said tersely. “Can you at least try not to curse like a sailor?”

Dad turned his gaze to his wife.

“I’m old and set in my ways. That’s the benefit of age, darlin.’ It means I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.” He said in reply.

“Not even me?”

He looked at her so long that she started to blush.

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I’m pretty sure we’re there. You know how the kids like their bacon.” I answered, trying to get off whatever subject that was making Sawyer blush from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

“Bacon’s not good for you, dad. You know that.” Shiloh added her two cents.

“Gotta die from something,” Dad said to her. “Might as well be bacon overload.”

Funny enough, I couldn’t help but agree with him.

Over imbibing on bacon would be a good way to go.

Six months later

My hand circled around the fuzz at the top of my newest sister’s head, my mind going back to when my own children were that tiny.

“She’s gorgeous.” I said to Sawyer. “She’s freakin’ tiny, too.”

Sawyer laughed weakly, her hand falling to the side to grab a hold of my forearm.

“Sam.” She whispered.

I turned my gaze to her.

“You’re a good man.” She said softly.

My eyes dropped closed.

“Sometimes I don’t feel like one.”

“That’s the problem with being a leader. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions. But you, Sam, are a good man, through and through. You need to let yourself off the hook. We understand. You’ve apologized. It’s time to put all this behind us, and move on.” She continued.

The baby let out a sudden cry that soon morphed into full out ‘I’m hungry now’ mode.

I handed my baby sister over, smiling at the way Sawyer’s face turned soft when I placed her daughter in her arms.

Leaning down, I placed a kiss on the top of Sawyer’s head.

“You did good.” I told her gruffly. “And I’ll be back later with the hellions, so prepare yourself.”

She laughed quietly, looking up at me with mirth in her eyes.

“I’m not seeing the problem there.” She teased.

I snorted.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna believe
that
lie.”

She full out laughed, and I waved at her before exiting the room, my eyes scanning the hallway for my father.

He’d exited before I’d entered, or so Sawyer had said.

I knew he couldn’t be far, which was why I’d chosen to take the stairs to look for him.

I found him, too.

He was sitting in the stairwell just outside the floor’s doors.

He was sitting there staring blankly at the wall, and I smiled as I took a seat at his side.

Reaching into my pockets, I pulled out two cigars, handing one to him before lifting the liter out of my pocket.

“You did good, old man.” I said. “She’s beautiful.”

“What can I say?” He replied. “I make pretty babies.”

“I’m not pretty.” I informed him.

He snorted.

“You were. You were actually the prettiest out of them all. You had the longest eyelashes I’d ever seen, and eyes so wide and expressive.” He shook his head. “My girls are adorable…but you Sam. I was proud as shit of you. I was so young and dumb, and there you were, making me become a man, wanting the world and stars for you.” He swallowed. “And I fucked up with you.”

“You did what you could.” I amended. “And I understand, and would have done the same thing had I been in the same positon.”

He made a humming sound in the back of his throat.

“You don’t think I would have?” I asked him, lighting my cigar and handing him the liter.

He lit his, too, taking a short puff before letting it out.

“I don’t know what you would have done, son. All I know, is that I’m glad you’ll never have to experience it.” He said solemnly.

“I got a service dog.” I said. “He’s supposed to help me when he can feel an attack coming on. And I’m taking my meds. My head’s getting clearer every day. I feel like I can fucking breathe again.”

The door’s above our stairs opened and a woman’s nasally voice said, “Does it smell like smoke to you?”

Dad snorted and stood, then started to make his way up the stairs.

I followed him, laughing under my breath when my father passed them, calm as could be and cigar in his mouth, not a care in the world.

I nodded at them, imitating my father, earning the same glare that my father had received as he passed as well.

“Nice,” I said.

Dad shrugged.

“Stopped trying to please everyone a really long time ago.” He said. “Don’t give a fuck if she gets pissy or not.”

My phone chimed and I pulled it out of my pocket, laughing at Shiloh’s text.

I showed it to my dad, and his face lit up with a smile.

“My two girls.” He said. “Send that to me, will ya?”

I nodded, tapping some buttons and sending it to him.

His phone pinged, but he didn’t take it out of his pocket.

We sat in silence then, smoking our cigars, and didn’t say another word for long minutes.

“You know,” he said, finally breaking the silence. “I love you, right?”

I turned to my father then, letting everything I felt about him shine in my eyes.

“I love you too.” I said. “And I couldn’t ask for a better father and grandfather for my children. Just wish I would have told you sooner.”

He slammed his hand down on my back.

“Where do you think you got your stubbornness from, son?”

I tossed him a grin, then threw my arm around him, too.

And for the first time in a very long time, my father and me were good.

1 year later

I looked at the pictures we’d gathered over the years, but my most favorite, the one that stopped me in my tracks each and every time I looked at it, was the one with my whole family in it.

Sebastian and his kids. Shiloh and her kids. Me and my kids. My dad and my little sister.

All of us were standing in a circle, kids being held in arms or on hips, or even on the floor playing at our feet.

All of the adults were in a dep discussion about the merits of bacon, and someone had snapped the picture of us all arguing.

There was love in the picture, as well as laugher.

What wasn’t in the picture, though, was hate.

There was no room for that anymore, and I found that I quite liked it that way.

HAMMER

BY

Jessie Lane and Chelsea Camaron

Almost as if in slow motion, I see Ice standing there. My prez continues to hold the door open as he nods his head to someone who must be standing just out of sight. As my heart starts pounding away in my chest, and my forehead breaks out into a sweat from my oncoming anxiety attack, a flip-flop covered foot with pink painted toenails appears, followed by a trim leg in a tight pair of jeans, which is attached to a shapely pair of hips.

My eyes keep traveling upward over her abdomen, which is hidden by her T-shirt, and then up some more to her breasts that are definitely not hidden by the same shirt. No, her shirt is hugging her ample chest in a way that gets little hammer below the belt stirring in a way he hasn’t in a long time.

I blink once, twice, but I can’t shake my reaction to her. She’s beautiful and unlike the usual women I go for. She’s shapely but tone with wild hair, though not in a trashy way, and she has a nervous smile that makes me want to give her a hug and tell her everything will be okay.

Holy shit, now I want to be warm and fuzzy and hug people?

The medications are fucking with me. Never has a woman gotten me so twisted in an instant. It’s the accident. It’s the changes. It’s anything and everything but her. Regardless, with my club brother and Evan present, I know I have to focus on not chasing her away or fucking her in front of them. I don’t know which I want to do more.

Since I don’t want to seem like a complete asshole to my new roommate, I make my eyes move off her mouthwatering breasts, up over her face, until I reach her eyes.

It sounds cliché, but I think time fucking stops … or maybe the world. I sort of feel like the floor beneath my chair is shifting sideways, and I’m about to fall out of my chair like a flaming idiot.

I’m not trying to sound like some Shakespearian pussy-boy, but her rich brown eyes shine at me in such a way I swear they are as bright as pennies … only prettier. They are the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen, and I have the irrational urge to see them against my sheets, along with all that wild, sexy, curly brown hair she has.

It’s not as long as I usually like it, but the way her curls fall around her face makes me wonder what they would look like after I fucked her into the mattress good and hard for a few hours straight.

I’m still lost in her beautiful brown eyes as she comes through my doorway then stops dead cold. I snap out of my daydream to realize she’s standing right in front of me … and I have to crane my head back to keep my eyes trained on hers, which won’t stop staring at me.

The sensation that flows through me is worse than having ice cold water poured on you when you’re asleep. It is more than a shock; it is a hit to the very manhood I didn’t think I had left. Now I’m obliterated completely.

All by a curvy, little woman who is looking at me with a mixture of hope and dread.

I never understood the phrase “love to hate” until just now. Everything about the foxy woman in front of me lights up every caveman instinct I never knew I had, and I’m half a man who can’t do a damn thing about it now.