Whispers (23 page)

Lauren and Jeff had been engaged since Easter. They had been dating for almost a year, ever since Lauren had returned to her hometown in Tennessee. She had graduated from college two years after Teri, then spent a year trying to find a permanent job in California. Finally Lauren had given up and gone home. That’s when she had met Jeff. He was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

Lauren paused before saying, “Actually, Jeff and I broke up. I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t realize until
I received your Christmas card that you didn’t know.”

“Oh, Lauren, I’m sorry!” Teri finally said.

“I am, too,” Lauren said in a whisper laced with much pain.

B
y the time Teri finished her conversation with Lauren, she felt exhausted. Her throat throbbed from straining it.

“I’m sorry,” Teri whispered to Jessica and Kyle as she walked back into the kitchen. They were standing by the sink, their dinners already finished and their dirty plates on the counter. And they were wrapped up in a tender embrace with their eyes closed. They didn’t notice that Teri had entered. It was a beautiful sight after what she had just heard on the phone.

Teri tapped a bottle of Snapple on the counter, and Jessica jumped and pulled away, slightly blushing. Kyle smiled as if he had nothing to be embarrassed about and kept his arm around Jessica’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. That was my college roommate,” Teri explained hoarsely. “She was calling to tell me her engagement is broken.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Jessica asked.

“She sounded like it. Lauren is a strong person.”

“Where does she live?” Kyle asked.

“Tennessee.”

“Do you think you should go be with her?” Jessica said. “I know that’s kind of far, but …”

“Does she need to get away?” Kyle asked. “She could come here. There’s plenty of room at our house, and when we move out next week, she could stay there as long as she needed to.”

Teri shrugged, trying to use her facial expressions to convey her appreciation and save her voice. “I don’t know what she’s going to do. She didn’t seem to have her next step figured out yet. She has a job at a bank, but that’s not what she really wants to do. She was an art major in college.”

“We’re serious,” Kyle said. “Any way we can help out, just holler.”

“Thanks for bringing the pizza,” Teri said.

“Hey, it’s all yours. We gorged on tamales. I’m telling you, Teri, they’re the best I’ve ever had. Thanks.”

“Are you ready for some pizza?” Jessica asked.

She shook her head.

“We’ll squeeze it into the fridge then,” Jessica said. “It’ll make a good midnight snack.”

“We need to get going,” Kyle said. “Is there anything we can bring you tomorrow? Some tea or something for your throat?”

Teri shook her head. Even though she sounded awful, she didn’t feel very sick, just shaken by Lauren’s call. She took another bag of tamales from the refrigerator and handed them to Kyle.

“Oh, I couldn’t.”

Teri pushed them at him.

“Well, if you insist.”

“Let us know if we can help you or Lauren in any way, okay?” Jessica asked, reaching for her purse on the counter. It
amazed Teri how down to earth Jessica was. One would never guess by looking at the woman, by the way she dressed or how she carried herself, that she was worth double-digit millions. She never let it show, but she was one of the most generous people Teri had ever known. Kyle was the same way. Neither of them were flashy in how they gave. They helped in quiet, practical ways, such as offering to pick her up at the airport when she came home from Maui, bringing over dinner, or offering Lauren a place to stay. Teri saw them to the door and waved her thanks as they walked to the truck with their arms around each other.

What a contrast!
Teri thought.
Two people intensely in love and two other people across the country who just called off their engagement. Would I have ended up like Lauren if I had stayed with Scott?

The night was a restless one for Teri. She woke up around two o’clock, perspiring and fitful. Her initial waking thought was that someone had died. Then she remembered it wasn’t a death, but Lauren’s call that had swept her emotions to the edge of this jagged precipice. Teri padded into the kitchen for a drink of water and made a face at the mountain of dirty dishes still stacked in the sink. She went into the living room and curled up on the couch with all her pillows.

In a way, it almost was news of a death. Certainly a fateful blow had been dealt to her friend’s heart. How could a man break a promise like that?

For almost an hour, Teri fought an invisible war, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with Lauren and Jeff. He had definitely swept Lauren off her feet in one easy swoop. For a while the previous spring, Lauren had called often with details of their wedding plans. She had sent clippings from
Bride’s
magazine, so Teri could see the wedding dress and bridesmaids’ dresses. The wedding had been scheduled for April, on
the one-year anniversary of their engagement. They seemed to have done everything right, and yet it had all fallen apart.

Lauren hadn’t gone into a lot of details on the phone. She had sounded as if she was handling it well. Still, it must have broken her heart.

Teri went back to bed. In the hazy tunnel of her mind, between sleeping and waking, she prayed for her friend. And she wondered if what had happened to Lauren might not happen to her one day. Couldn’t she find herself in a similar situation: feeling sure she had made the right choice in a mate and yet, even while she was caught up in her wedding plans, ending up watching all her dreams disintegrate?

When she woke the next morning, Teri felt more than a little shaken. No relationship was guaranteed. She was better off for having ended her relationship with Scott—or with any man, for that matter. Teri felt the only safe place to be was alone, single for the rest of her life. It was the only sure answer, the only guarantee she wouldn’t be crushed later in life.

With the devastation of Lauren’s engagement came the ruin of a dream for Teri, a dream of marriage and children of her own. She couldn’t,
wouldn’t
let her heart be smashed like that.

She didn’t say anything or make any outward adjustments to her life. But inside her heart, written on stone tablets, were the words: Thou shalt not fall in love. Thou shalt not get married. Thou shalt not have children.

T
eri’s voice returned just in time for her to complete her last week of teaching before Christmas vacation. She helped Jessica and Kyle move into their new home in the evenings and did her Christmas shopping by catalog over the phone during her lunch breaks.

Teri planned to go home to Escondido for Christmas. Her flight left on Sunday afternoon, which meant she had a day and a half to organize everything after her last day of teaching. She went over to Kyle and Jessica’s new house on Saturday morning with her gift of several bags of tamales. Kyle was especially appreciative. Their new home was beautiful.

“It looks as if you guys are all set here,” Teri said, scanning the living room with its ornate marble fireplace and exquisite wooden mantle. The furniture and walls weren’t overdone, but they were definitely Victorian and fit the style of the house beautifully.

“All we need is a couple of hydrangea bushes out front,
and it’s home,” Kyle said. He shot a look at Jessica, and she returned the loving expression with a lingering intimacy. Teri noticed that they seemed to draw strength from each other.

“Oh,” Jessica said, slowly looking away from Kyle and going over to the oak rolltop desk, “I have something for you, Teri.” She handed her an envelope and said, “I know it’s not fancy, but I didn’t have a chance to wrap it. Go ahead and open it.”

Teri slit the envelope and pulled out what looked like an airplane ticket. “What’s this?”

“It’s good for any time and any destination. You just call that number and tell them where you want to go and when. I thought you might want to use it when Anita’s baby comes. Or maybe you could go see Lauren in Tennessee. I know it’s kind of a weird gift, but I wanted to buy you something you could use.”

Teri hugged her. “This is so sweet of you! Thanks, Jess.”

“You’re welcome. And thank you for feeding us for the next week with your tamales!”

“You think they’ll last that long?” Kyle asked.

Jessica smiled and said, “Okay, make that for the next two hours.”

“When do you leave?” Kyle asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Do you want a ride to the airport?”

“No, I decided to drive and leave my car at the airport. I’ll only be gone five days. Thanks, anyway.” Teri slipped the envelope into her purse and hugged her friends good-bye. “Have a wonderful Christmas! I need to get going. I have eight more tamale deliveries, and I need to pack.”

“Be sure to thank your mom for teaching you the art of tamale making,” Kyle called out as she left. “Tell her we appreciate it more than she’ll ever know.”

Teri remembered his words several days later when she
was seated at the family dining table, enjoying her mom’s enchiladas. Her mom passed the credit on to her mother, who was seated next to Teri.

Grandma Maria leaned over and tapped Teri on the hand. She said, “You have learned what you need to make your
esposo
happy—good cooking.”

“Now all she needs is an
esposo,”
one of her brothers said.

I don’t need a husband!
Teri couldn’t bring herself to voice her feelings and decided it would be better to endure the string of comments that were sure to follow about her being the oldest of all her sisters and cousins who wasn’t married.

It hurt. She tried to ignore it, but as the holidays unfolded, she realized that in her family she was a loner. On Christmas Day seventeen people were crammed into her parents’ living room. She noticed that everybody had somebody—everybody but her. Even her fourteen-year-old sister, the baby of the family, had received a heart-shaped necklace the day before from a guy at school who liked her.

Teri tried to convince herself that she could be single and still be important to this family. Her Aunt Yolanda was. She had forged her way into the business world and was now at the executive level. However, Teri didn’t have those kinds of ambitions.

One of her cousins handed Teri her four-month-old baby boy so she could help her two-year-old son open his gifts. Teri watched the big family merriment and the flurry of unwrapped gifts, all accompanied with happy squeals. She rocked the little one, and he fell asleep in her arms.

She felt a deep sadness, but she kept it to herself. For the most part, Teri enjoyed her family and the Christmas fun. It was a lively yet sacred time for her family, and she was glad to be with them all. If only she didn’t feel so alone and fated to be alone forever.

On the morning after Christmas, the telephone rang at 5:00
A.M.
, waking Teri, who was sleeping on the couch. Her mom answered the phone in the bedroom and a few minutes later came hurrying down the hallway.

Teri met her mom in the kitchen. “Who called?”

Her mom looked dazed and a little frightened. “It was Danny. They’re at the hospital. The baby is coming!”

“Are you sure, Mom? She’s not due for another two months.”

“Oh, Teri,” her mom said, grasping her hands, “we must pray.”

As the two women began to pray, Teri’s dad joined them in the kitchen and entered into their prayers. Before they were finished, four other family members, including Grandma Maria, had joined them in the praying.

When the last amen was said, Teri’s mom set about making coffee.

“Mom,” Teri said, sliding up behind her and giving her a comforting hug, “why don’t you go be with Annie? I have a ticket you can use. It’s good for any time.”

“No, I couldn’t use your ticket.”

Teri’s father overheard and entered the discussion, agreeing with Teri that Mom should go, but they could buy a ticket for her. Then Grandma Maria thought she should go, too. When all the discussion ended, it was agreed that Teri, Mom, and Grandma would all travel to Hawaii as soon as possible.