White Trash Damaged (6 page)

Tucker looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

“Not a chance.” I rolled my eyes and took his hand to lead him back into the building. Eric trailed behind us.

We made our way through the crowd that parted for us to pass, stopping once or twice for Tucker to sign autographs.

We settled in next to the refreshment table, the mood considerably lightened. I made my way to the keg to get us each a drink as Tucker and Eric chatted about songs and the next stop on the tour. Apparently, we were headed to Tennessee for a concert tomorrow. I handed the guys their cups as Eric gave his drink a funny look before his eyes landed on me.

“That’s way too much head.”

“That’s what she said!” I yelled as Tucker spit out his beer in laughter.

“No, she didn’t say that. She would never say that.” Eric shook his head and smiled before gulping down his drink. I shrugged, feeling weightless and carefree.

“Fuck,” E yelled, dropping his cup and crushing his hands to the sides of his head while his face scrunched up in pain.

“What’s wrong?” He looked like he was dying.

“You all right, man? You need me to walk you back?” Tucker put his hand on Eric’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

“I’m fine,” Eric said angrily through gritted teeth and pushed back through the crowd toward the exit.

“What’s wrong with him?” I turned to Tucker who looked exhausted.

“Old injury from when he was younger. He gets a lot of bad headaches.”

“So why does he seem to take it out on you?” It was painfully obvious there was tension between Tucker and Eric; I just couldn’t understand why.

Tucker shrugged and finished off his drink, crushing the plastic cup in his hand and staring off into the crowd.

“I’m tired.” He grabbed my hand in his.

“Yeah, okay.” I brushed my thumb over the back of his hand as we left the party and headed back toward the tour bus.

The bus was quiet. Only Eric was inside. The twins still hadn’t made it back from their cooling off period, and thankfully, Lizzy was long gone as well. Which reminded me of someone else who was missing.

“Where’s Dorris?” I asked as I followed Tucker back through the narrow bus.

“She got a room in town. She tries to sleep off the bus as much as possible.” He smiled. It still seemed weird that she hadn’t come to the show. “That’s her bed back there.” He motioned to the door in the back of the bus. “This is us.” He pointed to the bunk directly across from Eric’s but on the bottom. I reached out and pulled back the curtain to reveal a very small, coffin-like bed.

I stood and turned back to him in disbelief.

“How are we both going to fit in there?”

He pressed his body tight against me, his lips hovering over mine. My pulse began to race as his hands traveled down my sides to my hips, holding me firmly against him.

“We will find a way.” He smirked.

I wanted to melt into him, to wrap my legs around his waist and feel the weight of him on top of me, but it still just didn’t feel right, not after all that had happened. “You know I am not ready.” I pushed against his chest to give myself some room to breathe.

“Thank-fucking-god. I do not want to hear Tuck moaning and panting,” Eric called from his bunk.

“Hey, Eric. You need something for your headache?” I asked, changing the subject in hopes of easing a little of the tension between the guys.

Eric shoved back the curtain to his bunk and squinted his eyes at the light.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks. My pills are in the cupboard above the sink.” He gave a half grin.

I found his prescription bottle from the cupboard and grabbed a fresh water from the fridge.

“You sure that it’s safe to take with the alcohol you drank?”

“I’ll be fine.” Eric took the bottle and pulled his curtain closed. Tucker shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.

“You ready?” Tucker inclined his head toward the bed. I
nodded. Today had been amazing, and I was excited to see what tomorrow would bring.

I climbed into the cramped space, sliding over until I was against the wall. Tucker followed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tight against him. It felt good to be by his side and able to snuggle up to someone without fear. I blinked a few times until my eyes began to adjust to the light. There were concert photos and articles taped up overhead. I tried to read them, but my eyelids were far too heavy, and the alcohol made it impossible to see clearly. I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

I
AWOKE LONG BEFORE
Tucker. He looked so peaceful, and I knew he wasn’t going to be feeling well after a long night of drinking. I slid my body over his so I could use the bathroom before any of the boys claimed it. Tucker’s eyes stayed closed, but his hands shot up, gripping my hips and pinning my body to his. His hips grinded into mine and he smirked. I playfully smacked him on the chest.

“I was trying not to wake you,” I whispered, my lips hovering above his. His eyes slowly opened, his face serious.

“Sleep is overrated. Reality is so much better, sweetheart.”

I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face as a blush followed like wildfire across my skin.

“Pretty in pink,” he joked as he released my hip with one hand and ran his fingers over my cheek. I leaned into his touch as he set every nerve ending in my body off like fireworks.

“I’m already hungover. You guys trying to make me fucking vomit?” Eric called out from the other set of bunks. I laughed and let my head fall onto Tucker’s chest.

“Is he always like this?” I whispered, tracing the ridge of Tucker’s pec muscle.

“A dick? Yeah, pretty much.” He sighed.

“I’m gonna use the restroom.” I pushed away from Tucker’s body a few inches, the only space the cramped area would allow. I gave him a quick peck on the lips before sliding over him and into the narrow hallway.

To my surprise, the twins were sitting at the small booth-style table near the front of the bus.

“Good morning,” I called out to them as I slipped into the bathroom. I turned on the sink and cupped my hands, gathering some water to splash on my face. I rose to examine myself in the mirror. I looked like I had been hit by a truck, and my stomach didn’t feel much better. I finished preparing myself for the morning and made my way to the kitchen area of the bus.

“You guys hungry?” I asked as I squatted down in front of the fridge and examined the contents. The twins groaned in unison, obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol and fighting.

“There’s nothing in there.” Tucker came up behind me, running his hand over my knotted hair.

“More in here than my fridge at the trailer,” I joked, but it was true. I glanced over my shoulder at him and his expression saddened.

“How about we go out for breakfast and we can pick up a few things from the store so we can cook on the bus?” Tucker said as I stood and stretched my legs.

“Sounds good.” I glanced around the bus. “My bag?”

Tucker pointed to Dorris’s room.

“More room to change in there.”

I rocked up onto the balls of my feet and gave him a kiss. I loved how thoughtful he was. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.

“Love you.” I kissed him again and made my way down the hall, sidestepping around Eric who had just slid out of his bunk wearing only his boxers. He grinned as I nearly tripped over my own feet, doing my best to avoid any physical contact. Living on a bus with these guys was going to be harder than I thought. I slipped into Dorris’s room and found my bag sitting on her bed. I pulled out my favorite pair of jeans and a navy blue tank top. I scanned the room as I yanked off my dress and fumbled with the clasp of my bra.

There were pictures of the band hung on the walls. I walked closer to get a better look as I pulled on my shirt. They all looked happy and were smiling, except for Eric, who wore a scowl in every shot. I wondered how someone who seemed to have it all could be so angry at the world. I could sense that he was using sarcasm to deflect from something bigger that was bothering him, a tactic I had more experience with than I wanted to admit. I’d spent my life dealing with people like him.
People who used drugs and alcohol to mask the pain, but all it seemed to do was amplify it.

There was a lot of tension between him and Tucker, and I hoped that my presence wasn’t part of the reason. I made up my mind that I would find a way to talk to him, to let him know that I had no intentions of causing trouble with the band. I slipped my leg into my jeans, falling back onto the bed as I pulled them the rest of the way on.

There was a knock at the door as I pulled up my zipper and fastened the button.

“Yeah?” I called out as I dug through my bag for a hairbrush.

“You decent?” a deep male voice called from the other side.

“Yup,” I called back. The door opened and Chris stepped inside, pulling it closed behind him. I furrowed my brow as I wondered what he could possibly want to talk about in private.

“Thanks for backing me up last night.” Half of his mouth pulled up into a grin.

“To be honest, I did it for Terry. He deserves better.” I gave him a glare, letting him know what I thought of his actions last night. Chris swallowed hard and nodded.

I rolled my eyes and tucked my brush back inside my bag.

“I’m serious. That groupie’s been flirting with all of us from day one. She didn’t care about my brother. He was too damn blind to see it.” He ran a hand through his long hair. “She was along for the ride, and I let her have one.”

“So you fucked the girl your brother loved out of the goodness of your heart?”

Before he could respond, another knock came at the door.

Chris slid the pocket door back, revealing Tucker on the other side. Tucker smirked as he heard my comment.

“Don’t do me any fucking favors,” Tucker joked as he clapped Chris on the back. They both laughed as if the events of last night never happened. Chris made his way back to the front of the bus.

“You ready to head out?” Tucker asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I shot him a smile as I slipped my feet into my brown sandals. He looped his hand in mine and we headed off on our morning adventure.

I nearly fell over as I stepped out of the bus. The sun was shining brightly and we were in the parking lot of a mall. It took me a moment to get my bearings.

“They drove while we slept.” Tucker stated the obvious, poking me in the ribs.

“Welcome to life on the road,” Eric said as he put on a pair of aviator sunglasses.

I followed behind the group as we made our way inside the mall. All of the guys were wearing T-shirts and jeans, none of them looking like the rock stars that graced the stage for thousands of screaming fans hours ago. The only attention we received was from a few girls shooting flirtatious glances.
I couldn’t blame them; I was surrounded by some very attractive men. I felt like a queen as they flanked my sides and we walked through the stores. For once, I wasn’t getting the looks of pity I had grown so accustomed to from working at Aggie’s Diner.

We slipped inside a restaurant tucked between a clothing store and a cell phone shop. We all slid in, one by one, to a half circle–shaped booth in the far back corner.

“Feels like home, don’t it, Cass?” Eric spat out like he had a bad taste in his mouth.

“What the fuck?” Tucker pushed from his seat, but I grabbed his arm, keeping him from reaching across the table.

“This place is much nicer than the one I worked at.” I tried to keep my voice level.

A waitress was at our side ready to take our drink orders. She was beautiful with expertly placed gold highlights in her hair, and her makeup was flawless.

“Wanna upgrade, Tuck?” E laughed, and Tucker lurched over the table between them. The twins each grabbed one of them and pulled them apart.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tucker’s voice echoed throughout the small space. Everyone’s eyes were on us. So much for keeping a low profile and eating in peace. I pushed against Tucker so he would slide out. I wanted out of there as quickly as possible. I was embarrassed and hurt. I managed to make it outside before the tears started to fall. Tucker was at my side, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“I can’t be the reason you guys fight,” I said, shaking my head.

“You’re not.”

“Then why is he being so awful? Is it . . . is it because I left you?” I stopped and turned toward Tucker. He wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“No, trust me. It has nothing to do with that. Eric is . . . complicated.”

I rolled my eyes at the understatement of the century. Tucker smirked, revealing his dimples.

“We’ve always had a hard relationship. He had a rough life before he joined the band, but other than that, he doesn’t say much. He thinks I am just some privileged kid.” Tucker laughed sardonically and looked back toward the restaurant.

“But you’re not. Have you talked to him about it?”

Tucker’s eyes locked back onto mine. His jaw clenched.

“A little, but it’s none of his business.” His tone was harsh and it made me lean back from him fractionally. “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand roughly through his hair as he blew out a deep breath. My heart went out to him