White Water (32 page)

‘No, no. I heard you. Aye, I would.’

The dogs began to bark then and they raced up the steps to greet Minnie who was coming towards them, wiping her hands on her apron.

‘There’s a sight of food left,’ she told Eloise. ‘’Tis usual to go round the cottages and give it to the poor, but the mistress is resting and I don’t wish to wake her. Shall I parcel it up and send it off? Ellie or Ben can take it.’ Felicity looked at Eloise.

‘We could take it, mayhap?’ Eloise hesitated. She did not want to lose her audience so soon.

Felicity got to her feet. ‘If you parcel it up and tell me where to take it — ’

Minnie smiled. ‘That’s well said. Come with me then. Ellie can go with you. She knows folks and you don’t.’ Felicity looked at Eloise, who stood up with as good grace as she could manage. ‘I’ll come with you,’ she said. So the two girls made the rounds together.

*

That night Felicity’s heart beat loudly as she waited for Martin to open the door. Eloise had talked well into the night until Felicity had finally pretended sleep herself. The door opened and Martin drew her inside. It was the bed chamber he shared with Allan, but now he had it to himself.

‘I thought you were never coming,’ he said. ‘’Tis nearly two o’clock.’

‘’Twas Eloise. She would not sleep — but what is wrong? I should not be here.’

‘I had to speak to you before tomorrow. Hugo and Maria have decided to keep you here until — ’

‘Stay here? Oh Martin, no! Let me return to Appledore, I beg you.’

‘’Tis their decision and I can see their reasons. If we are together too much and then the child is ever discovered — ’ He shrugged. ‘I shall ride back to Appledore the day after tomorrow and so this might be our last night.’

She was ashen and he put his arm round her. ‘Don’t take it so hard. You knew we would have to part.’

‘But not so soon. I did not know ’twould be so soon.’

‘I wanted to sleep with you this last time, Felicity. Will you stay?’

‘Of course I will. Our last night! Oh Martin. Forgive me. I’ve tried to be so brave. I’ll be myself again in a moment.’

‘Come to bed, little one. Let me love you and all your fears will melt away. I promise.’

She allowed him to lead her to the bed and climbed in beside him. Sleeping with him seemed the natural thing — they had been together so often — but the room was unfamiliar and Felicity felt tense with the misery she was trying to conceal.

He put his arms round her and comforted her as well as he could.

Felicity tried desperately to put aside all her fears and regrets so that she could respond to his caresses and make this last love-making happy and memorable. She was amazed to feel Martin grow hard against her thigh and wondered that a man could so control his body that sorrow could not interfere with its working.

‘’Tis for you,’ he whispered. ‘See how ready I am for your warm sweetness? I have missed you these last few nights.’

‘And I you.’

His hands slid over her, touching her ears, throat, shoulders. She felt a slight thrill and prayed, ‘Let me make him happy this last time. Let it be the best time, dear God.’ He was feeling for her nipples and the thrill came again, intensified. If only her body would take over from her mind. His hands moved to her abdomen and he stroked the taut skin, then kissed her thighs, and between her legs.

‘Martin! Oh Martin!’

He took each hand and licked the palm. It was unbearably sweet and she moaned, knowing that her love sounds increased his own excitement; knowing that he liked to linger over her, saving the greatest thrill until much later — like a child with a cherry cake, she had teased him. She wanted him to reassure her — to tell her that no other woman would satisfy him so well. But it was not his way. Now he would make love to her almost without words. He could rouse her with his fingers and tongue. He rolled her over and began to trace her spine with his fingers. As she sighed she opened her eyes but saw the outline of the unfamiliar window and closed them again.

‘I’ll never forget our loving,’ he whispered suddenly and she was surprised and turned over to see his face.

‘I mean it,’ he told her urgently. ‘I want you to know you are my first woman and that is unforgettable.’

‘And you are my first man.’

She wanted to add: ‘and you have given me your child’. But she could not do it. This night was for lovers. Already it was too good to share. He moved until he was above her and his weight crushed her. Tonight there would be no delaying. His entry into her was fierce, greedy — almost triumphant. And yet, she thought, so very sad.

*

Minnie looked at her daughter, thunderstruck.

‘Felicity Carr? ’Tis not possible,’ she asked. ‘Did you see it with your own eyes?’

‘No, but I saw her coming out this morning. ’Twas very early and she was on tiptoes, wearing only what she was born in! ’Tis true, I tell you. Why should I make up such a story?’

‘Why indeed? Then I’m sorry for doubting you.’ Minnie frowned at the carrots she was scraping. ‘Have you told anyone this?’

‘Only you. Do you think they were — ’ She giggled. ‘You know?’

‘Well, if they weren’t, I’m a monkey on a stick! Why else should a girl go to a young man’s bed chamber? Dearie me! Felicity Carr! Who’d have thought she’d dare such a trick? Mind you, I’ll wager she’s been encouraged. She’d not go to him otherwise. Young Martin and Felicity Carr! I can hardly credit it. And mother-naked, too! She must have known what they’d be doing.’

‘She had a shawl round her,’ said Ellie reluctantly.

‘A shawl? ’Tis not what you said before.’

‘She was naked
under
the shawl.’ Ellie wriggled uncomfortably under her mother’s gaze. ‘The rest was all true.’

‘I hope so for the sake of your soul, my girl.’

‘I swear it.’

‘Hmm! And she didn’t see you?’

‘No. She had tears in her eyes and her hand up to her mouth — so.’ Ellie put a hand to her own mouth in a gesture of distress and Minnie’s heart was instantly softened. Her earlier disapproval vanished. Felicity was no longer a wanton hussy but a wronged woman.

‘Poor little girl,’ she said. ‘I wonder how long that’s been going on? I wonder … Mind you, I did think it strange, sending young Martin down there but then again, he’s only a lad. At least — ’

‘He’s sixteen!’ said Ellie. ‘He’s old enough!’

Minnie shook her head and began to slice the carrots into a pan. She realized suddenly that Ellie, opposite, was leaning on the table doing nothing useful and she pushed pan, carrots and knife across to her.

Ellie grimaced but began to slice, while Minnie went into the larder and collected two hares and began to skin them with quick practised movements.

‘D’you reckon she’ll have a baby?’ asked Ellie. ‘If she did — you know — ’

‘Sweet Heaven, don’t speak of it!’ Minnie’s dismay was almost comical. ‘Not that nice girl! Oh, that
would
put the cat among the pigeons!’ She
knew
the griefs of an illegitimate child, for Ben, her eldest, had been born out of wedlock and Minnie preferred not to remember the miseries and hardships she endured at that time. True, she was partly to blame for she had run away from Heron and all those who would have helped her. But her innate stubbornness — cussedness Jon called it! — had prevailed, and she gave birth to the child alone. Unable to care for it, she left the baby on the doorstep at Heron and disappeared. Now her eyes darkened as she recalled the degradation she had undergone and the depths to which she had fallen.

A deep sigh did not escape Ellie who looked at her curiously.

‘Do you pity her, Ma? Martin be handsome enough. I’d creep to his room if he asked me — Ow!’

Minnie’s hand caught her across the face and she half fell from the stool. ‘Don’t you do no such thing!’ cried Minnie. ‘Unless you want a good hiding from your Pa — and another from me. Creep to his room indeed! He’s not so handsome as to wed you, that’s for sure.’

Ellie ignored the blow. ‘Why then, won’t he wed Felicity?’

‘Most likely not, young rogue. They’d not let him if he wanted to, for she’s a church mouse and Heron needs money. Times are hard. Poor girl. Poor foolish girl. But there, we will do these things and then there’s the reckoning.’

Her own reckoning had been immediate and she did not envy Felicity the road ahead if she
was
with child, although the family would surely provide for her. They were good people, the Kendals, and Maria was the best of them all. Since Luke’s death Minnie had transferred her devotion to Maria, for it was she who had finally saved her from her own folly. It was to Maria she had run, at the Arnsville convent. There she had queued with the ‘poor’ at the kitchen door, waiting for the scraps left over from the nuns’ supper. Maria had recognized her and taken her in. She had fed her, washed her, cared for her — and she had given her love as well as the reproaches. Then she had taken her back to Heron and Jon had wed her and Ben, her child, had been handed back to her. She had been more fortunate than she deserved. Felicity’s path might be harder.

‘He’ll never wed her,’ she said. ‘Poor Felicity. If she’s with child she’ll have a hard row to hoe!’

Outside the kitchen door Eloise halted incredulously. She caught the last few words and the shock sent the colour from her face. The words rang in her ears but for a moment she would not believe them. It could not be Felicity Carr of whom they spoke. It was not possible. Ellie’s next words, however, dispelled her doubts.

‘Then Martin’s a pig! I shan’t smile at him ever again. I shall keep my face so straight he’ll know. He’ll know what I think of him.’

‘Will you, then?’ said Minnie.

Eloise turned, her heart hammering under her ribs, and fled back to her room.

*

Hugo finished reading the letter and handed it back to Maria. He looked defeated and utterly dejected.

‘So she wrote to them,’ he said. ‘We should have expected it — and yet it didn’t enter my head that she would want to go. We have nothing to offer her — not even a husband — and yet I didn’t think she would want to leave us. Was that very vain of me? The Ballantynes are very angry and who can blame them?’

‘I can,’ said Maria, ‘and I do blame them. If Eloise had wed Allan on the proper day she would be his wife. There would be no running away then. She would have taken the good and the bad with the rest of us.’

‘Mayhap ’tis well she didn’t wed him. To turn her back when things go ill with us! We must let her go, of course, and the dowry goes with her. Oh Maria, I’m so weary of it all. What’s to be done? We are bedevilled on all sides. The mine, Allan, Martin and Felicity and now this.’

Maria did not answer. She was reading James Ballantyne’s letter for the second time. Its tone was uncompromising:

‘A letter from my beloved daughter disturbs me greatly and you will understand my horror when the full extent of her predicament is revealed to me. ’Tis greatly to her credit that she has borne in silence for so long the indignity heaped upon her by the disappearance of her betrothed. Your son, Allan, in whom we placed such trust, has deceived us all and there can be no valid excuse for his cruel behaviour. You did not inform us of his departure and we take that most unkindly, considering you to have a duty to us in all such matters. My daughter speaks also of certain revelations regarding your son’s forebears. The Gillis strain would seem to be an evil one, combining madness with the black arts, and those facts should have been revealed to us during our earliest negotiations. ’Tis most certain we should then have terminated all arrangements for the union, desiring our daughter to wed an upright man of wholesome descent.

We are determined that Eloise shall return to Rochester at the earliest opportunity and have instructed our solicitor to travel to Ashburton in one week’s time and bring her home. During his visit to your home he will also serve upon you documents authorizing the return of the dowry in full. This letter is intended to forewarn you of this fact, so that you may make these preparations as are necessary to raise this sum and give Eloise time to prepare for the journey home.

I will speak no further of the disillusionment we feel towards the Kendal family. Abigail and Adam Jarman have been our friends for many years, but we must reluctantly consider them party to the deceit you have practised upon us, and our feelings towards them have undergone a change. When our daughter is once more under our roof we shall sever all Kendal connections … James Ballantyne, this first month of the year fifteen seventy-seven.’

‘He is right, Hugo,’ Maria said slowly. ‘We
were
at fault.’

‘There is nought wrong with Allan!’ shouted Hugo. ‘He is a fine — ’ He could not finish. ‘Let us say that there is no trace of madness nor black arts. I don’t pretend he is perfect — but is any man? Irresponsible, aye and moody. Unpredictable, even. But nought else. Upright and wholesome! The man’s a pompous fool! I misjudged him utterly.’ Maria agreed. Wrath was preferable to dejection, she thought. ‘But when I set eyes on him — Allan, that is — I shan’t mince my words. To bring such shame upon us!’

‘Poor Abby,’ said Maria. ‘She was so proud of having recommended Eloise and now feels so badly. Ah well, ’tis done and we must all come to terms with it. Who will tell Eloise?’