Who I Am With You (32 page)

“You know more than anyone how hard it is to walk away,” Duncan said.

Then he heard Amanda squeal, a sound halfway between a word and a giggle. He turned to see what the commotion was and his heart leapt in his chest. Across the room, he locked eyes with Leslie. The smile spreading across her face did weird things to his stomach and stole his breath away. She wore a flimsy, knee-length dress with a floral pattern on it. He hadn’t even known she was coming. Why was she here?

“She has the kind of beauty that is as impressive inside as it is on the outside. Live,” Bill repeated, nudging Duncan in her direction.

Duncan didn’t have to be told twice. He stalked across the hall to where she was talking to their daughter. She kept half her attention on him and when he reached her, Leslie opened her mouth to speak, but he covered it with his instead, drawing her into a deep kiss right there in front of everyone they knew. After a couple seconds lost in her, the faint din of cheers reached him. When he finally managed to pull his lips from hers, he was a little dizzy.

“Dad? Mom! When did this happen?” Shock didn’t hide the delight from her voice.

“It hasn’t happened yet,” Leslie, always the pragmatic one, said.

“She’s right,” Duncan confirmed. “It’s going to take some work, some time, and I have to tell Olivia first, but we’re going to be a family again.”

He sobered slightly. He had no idea how to break it to Olivia. Despite the distance between them the last week or two, he cared deeply for her, no denying that. Not to mention she’d just lost her grandmother and had a right to be distracted. No, he reminded himself, this is for the best. Olivia deserved a man who fit into her life, not one who watched from the outside. And he deserved to win back the most amazing woman he’d ever met.

S
aturday morning, Olivia greeted the day on cloud nine, having slept in much longer than she intended but still riding the emotional high of the previous night. Simon. She sighed, stifling a girly giggle and sprawling in the sun shining on her bed. She’d kissed Simon. And wow. It was everything she imagined. Hell, more. He filled her with the kind of butterflies she’d only read about, the ones that threatened to lift her completely off her feet.

Whoa, slow down, she lectured silently. No need to get ahead of yourself.

Olivia rose and showered, unable to keep the smile from her face. Tossing on one of her favorite sundresses, she thought ahead to her weekend. She should go by Catherine’s and continue sorting through the mountains of stuff there, especially since she’d decided to go with Natalie’s suggestion and remodel it, but the task didn’t match her buoyant mood. On impulse, she decided to whip up a batch of wild blueberry muffins, a new recipe for the bakery, to take to Simon since he had mentioned he’d be working there today. She hummed as she measured and poured and stirred. When they were done, and quite smug about how they’d turned out, she headed down to the lobby.

The silver haired doorman, Bobby, caught her as she walked by. “Your picture’s in the paper again, Miss Van den Berg. You sure look pretty.” Pride filled his compliment.

Her brows knitted together in irritation. What were they saying about her now? Taking the paper from Bobby, her heart sank even farther when she saw the picture.

Photographs of the gala filled the ‘Society’ page and, there at the top, bigger than the rest, was a snapshot of Simon holding her close. His hand cupped her face as they gazed into each other’s eyes. She remembered that moment, right before he pressed his lips to hers. Lost in the memory, joy eased into her heart, a slow happy burn.

Then she gasped. Anyone looking at this would see how they felt about each other.

The possibility of Duncan reading the article before she told him herself turned her blood to ice. This was not how she wanted him to find out. He deserved to let her explain. She’d have to put off going to Simon for now.

“Can I have this?”

The doorman nodded and she placed it with her basket of muffins, running out to flag a taxi. Before she even lifted her arm, a hand clamped onto it. Glancing over, she came face to face with Simon’s father. Familiar brilliant blue eyes stared at her blearily, hints of anger tightening the corners, and she saw Simon in the line of his jaw, but the resemblance ended there.

“I want to talk to you.”

The growl in his tone sent a flicker of fright skittering down her spine, confusing her. Out of respect for Simon, she nodded, intent on at least hearing the man out, and moving over so she’d still be in view of the doorman. “What can I do for you?” She realized then that she didn’t even know his name.

He laughed bitterly. “An interesting question, considering your family took everything from me.”

“I lived in California for nine years and my grandmother just died after a grueling battle with cancer, so I don’t see how we’re responsible for anything.”

“Don’t mock me.” He leaned closer, inundating her with alcohol-soaked breath. Olivia fought not to recoil. “I am broke! Lost my business and any respect I had in this industry.”

“I know you’re Simon’s father. He told me about your troubles.” Even though she tried to sound sympathetic, her legs begged to run away. “It’s a tough situation for a lot of people. The housing bubble and the recession only added to the hardships. We’ll bounce back.”

Swaying, and ignoring her rational statement, he blinked. “My son betrayed me! Could have taken over my business. I mortgaged everything I had to win a big job, only to be beat out by VDB Enterprises time and time again. Corporate bullies is what they are. I put the money I mortgaged into better equipment to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. But it did. Nothing I tried seemed to work. I kept losing business. Lost respect. Simon embarrassed me when he bailed me out. VDB outbid me by amounts I couldn’t match. All for small projects. Overbid. I have nothing,” he spat. His rambling speech was hard to follow, a typical trait of drunks.

“You still have air in your lungs and a family who loves you. I’d give anything to have my parents back.” She paused, wanting to do more because of Simon. “I’m sorry. I really don’t have anything to do with this, maybe we can find you some kind of work.”

“You have everything to do with this!” His shout caused her to jump. “You owe me! Your company owes me. I know your hag of a grandmother is dead. That means you’re in charge. Give me what I lost!”

The dig at Catherine pissed her off and she went right back at him, done with patience and pity. “Don’t blame me, or my family, for your shortcomings. I don’t work for VDB anymore, not in any way that could help you. As far as your son, he didn’t betray you. He saved your ass from going bankrupt twice! He’s a better, smarter and more successful man than you will ever be.”

His hand shot up and gripped her upper arm, squeezing tight enough to make her flinch. Fear beat a frantic rhythm in her heart, pounding in her ears. She tried to shrink away from him, but his hold was too strong.

Bobby appeared at her side. “Let her go, mister.”

Mr. Greene released her, but the crazed look remained in his eyes. “You owe me, and I will collect. You can be sure of that.”

He stalked away, weaving and shoving a mail courier out of the way. Olivia sagged in relief, releasing her pent up breath. Rubbing her sore arm, she turned to Bobby.

“Thank you for that.”

The big man nodded. “I’ll keep an eye out for him from now on. Won’t be happening again.”

She stuck with her plan to see Duncan first, to explain the picture in the papers and to hopefully have a chance to talk about their relationship. Plus, it gave her time to figure out how to tell Simon about his dad’s strange visit.

The ride to the firehouse took forever. She stared ahead, not focusing on anything and absently rubbing her tattoo. Her adrenalin crashed, allowing her to examine the confrontation with Mr. Greene more closely. The man clearly had issues beyond what Simon knew. She recognized the signs of a spiraling drunk and tried to pity him, but he worried her more. Not to mention she felt legitimately frightened, especially when he grabbed her. The rage inside him was strong. Poor Simon.

Thinking of Simon only reminded her of why she was headed to the firehouse to begin with. The picture. Too soon she arrived and she wiped damp palms on her dress before exiting the cab. Trotting into the vehicle bay, Olivia caught sight of Duncan walking out of the kitchen. He smiled, tentatively, and her heart stuttered, and not just because he looked incredibly sexy in his t-shirt and bunker pants. God, she loved that uniform.

“Hey.” She smiled sadly at him.

His gaze landed on the newspaper she clutched against the basket she’d forgotten she still carried and as he tensed, she knew. He’d already seen it. Instead of saying anything, he took the muffins from her, set them on a nearby bench, and led her outside.

“You must be upset…” she began.

“What would I have to be upset about?” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the side of the building.

She held the picture in front of his face. “You’ve seen this, haven’t you?”

“So what if I have?” He shrugged. “It isn’t all that surprising, Liv.”

Squinting, she studied him closer, shamefully searching for signs of drugs or alcohol. It was the only thing she could think of to explain his tranquil reaction.

“I expected you to be upset.”

Duncan flashed a grin, confusing her even more. “Because of my typical volatile personality?”

“You don’t have to put up a front.”

“I’m not. You’re amazing, Liv, and I will always give you credit for helping get my ass back in line. Being with you woke me up, which sounds slightly cheesy, but I know there’s no future for us. If you think about it long and hard, you’ll agree.”

“When did you come to this realization?” She scrambled to keep up, off balance by the Zen version of Duncan standing before her.

“It’s been coming for awhile but finally hit me at the funeral. Watching you and Simon.”

“Well, then you saw it before I did,” she told him frankly.

“You were just in denial. Trying to do right by me.”

Olivia shook her head. “Who are you?”

He laughed in answer. “A man with my own confession.”

“What?”

“I kissed Leslie last night.”

“Oh.” Olivia blinked, her lips twisting into a grin as if with a mind of their own. “Interesting.”

“I love her, Liv. Never stopped. I’m not saying it to be mean. Hell, I still don’t know why she kissed me instead of kneeing me in the balls.” He sobered. “I have to try and put my family back together.”

On impulse, she hugged him. “I’m happy for you.”

When they separated, Duncan held her chin and looked deep into her eyes. “You mean a lot to me, but let’s face it, we were both placeholders for who we really wanted to be with.”

“I know. I found that out last night, no matter how hard I tried to bury it.” She hid her face in her hands then glanced at him in amusement. “This is an odd conversation for us.”

“Nah, it’s easy compared to the other things we’ve shared. I want what’s best for you, and it’s not me.”

“You don’t have to sound so happy about it,” she grumbled. It was so strange how their roles were the complete reverse of what she thought they’d be in this situation. This was a side of Duncan she hadn’t seen before, a glimpse of the man he must have been before 9/11.

“Part of me is,” he said with a smirk.

“Asshole.”

“See, giving me crap already. It means we’re going to stay friends.” He stared hard at her. “Right?”

She nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”

“I take it Simon is your next stop?”

“He is. What about Leslie? Is she aware of what you’re planning?”

“She will be.” He huffed out a breath. “To be honest, I’m scared shitless. What if I screw up? What if she realizes I’m not worth it? What if I relapse?”

“Don’t.” She took his hand and squeezed tight. “What ifs are the enemy. Live in the moment, cherish it. When you feel the darkness creeping in, beat it back. Chose your kids or your wife instead. Take a moment to process before you react. And if all that fails, call me.”

“I will.”

He hooked his thumbs in the suspenders of his bunker pants and smirked at her.

Olivia took a deep breath. “I should go, I guess. Thanks, Duncan, for understanding.”

“I won’t lie and say it doesn’t sting my pride a little that you prefer pampered and pretty over me, but I’ll let it slide.”

She touched the side of his cheek and said, “Oh, Duncan, you’re pretty too.” They laughed and she dropped her hand. “Apparently, Simon is at my bakery working. Building something.”

“With an actual hammer? And scuffed shoes?”

“Yes. He grew up doing construction.” Simon’s father’s nasty encounter earlier reappeared in her mind and she frowned. No need to get into it with Duncan. “Take care of yourself and give the guys the basket I left inside. They’ll appreciate them, I’m sure.”

“As long as it isn’t the last one you ever bring.” Duncan hugged her tight, holding on longer than necessary. “This isn’t goodbye.”

“Then, I’ll see you later.”

He released her. “Before you go, there’s something else. I did some asking around about the identification of remains from Ground Zero. Got a call this morning, they work on Saturdays apparently. They’re looking forward to speaking with you and one of the medical examiners is staying late for you. But only if you’re ready. I know this is kinda out of the blue.”

Her mood did a complete nosedive, but she gathered herself together. She needed to do it. It was time. “Did they say to bring anything?”

“Any items of your parents that might contain DNA, like a hair brush. It’s a slim chance, considering how many years have passed, but I know Catherine kept everything, right?”

“Yeah, I’m sure I can find something that would work. I’ll look later.”

“Take Hot Shot with you. Don’t do it alone.”

Olivia perched on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, his scent so familiar. “I won’t. Bye, Duncan. Thank you.”