Who We Were (14 page)

Twilight hit and the fireworks crew were setting up on the end of the yard. Nolan and I walked into the house to grab sodas and a blanket, so we could watch the fireworks from the dock. “It’s better to watch it there because you can see them reflect on the water.”

“Son. There you are.” Mr. Rylan and Mrs. Rylan stood in front of us, holding champagne glasses. “Is this your Sadie?”

His Sadie. I liked that.

“Yes, Sir, this is Sadie Peters,” Nolan said. I reached out my hand, and Mr. Rylan took it in his. He shook it firmly and in turn placed it in his wife delicate hand. “So pleased to meet you both,” I told them.

“We are so happy to finally meet the young lady who makes our Nolan here so very happy. Are you enjoying the party?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. It’s very fun, and I’m excited for the fireworks.” I hoped they realized how happy I really was about being there.

“Good, dear. Just be careful out on the docks.”

“How did you know?” Nolan asked his mom.

“Darling, you always watch them there.” She smiled and patted his shoulder, then took her husband’s hand and led him out the door.

“They’re nice.”

“Yeah,” was all Nolan said as he led me to one of the many closets in the living room. He pulled out two large blankets and a flashlight.

We made the trek through the woods on a pathway that was no doubt built just for the family. The dock sat right along the water. The lake was still, showing the moon in its reflection like a picture. Nolan threw a blanket out, and we both sat. With the other blanket he wrapped it around both of us. I held one side, he the other.

A loud crack sounded and the burst of fireworks shot up in the sky. It was the most perfect show I had ever seen.

“This is … just beautiful. Thank you for having me here tonight.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“It’s only beautiful because you’re here. Normally I sit here alone.”

I closed my eyes picturing a lonely Nolan. “You’ll never be alone again.”

“Promise?” He held his pinky in the air.

“Forever promise.” I looped my pinky around his.

Winter

Twenty One

I stood in my coat waiting for Kyleigh to pick me up. It was absolutely freezing, so I stood by the window closest to the door, watching for her car. Finally I saw it coming and called out a goodbye to my mom.

“Have fun!” she called. She was on the phone with some guy she met on the internet. They went on a date weeks ago and have been talking almost every day. I guess that meant it went well.

I ran out to meet Kyleigh’s car, and she pulled to a stop to let me in.

“Are you going to be warm enough in that?” She asked eyeing my peacoat and tall boots.

“Yes! This coat is warm.”

She shook her head and put the car in drive. We were going ice-skating on North Lake. We had been talking about hanging out together, but one of us always was getting caught up in something. Busy. But this weekend was just for us. No boys. Just the girls.

Kyleigh started dating a college guy, Joel. He wore hearing aids also. She was just so happy she found someone that could relate to her. He was so sweet to her, and I knew they were going to be together for a while. She wore a smile today, and I knew that meant news.

“What is up with the big cheesy grin?” I asked.

“Nothing, I’m just happy to see you. Finally!”

She wasn’t telling me everything. “Kyleigh, spill it.”

She giggled. “Joel is taking me skiing tomorrow. I think … I think we’re gonna, you know.” When it came to
you know
with Kyleigh, she was super shy.

“Oh. That.” I laughed. I didn’t have any advice to give her yet; Nolan and I still hadn’t done anything more than kissing. A few times we got close, but either it was me who stopped it because I wasn’t ready or Nolan did because it
wasn’t in the right place
.

We pulled into the lake’s entrance and Kyleigh got giddy like a little kid. “I love skating. I always feel so free.”

“Me too.”

We got out and ran to the lake like little kids. We put on our skates and joined everybody else on the frozen lake. She pirouetted and spun like a ballerina, and I clapped and sang out, “Bravo!”

I missed Lily on days like this, days when I knew she could be spinning in circles with Kyleigh and me. We would have all been good friends together. It was hard not to think about her while I skated around the lake, watching the snow fall in little tufts around me. We have skated this lake many times before.

As kids her mom would bring us here, and we would get so cold that she would pack hot cocoa and let us drink it in her brand new car.

I shook the memory from my mind and looked up at the grey sky. The snow melted on my tongue as I spun in a circle. I would make new memories but it was hard letting go of the old.

*
**

I packed my favorite sweater, the one with the little moose on it, and threw it in my bag. I was going camping with Nolan and his family. They had rented a cabin, like they do every January, in the mountains. My mom had surprisingly said yes. Maybe because she knew the Rylan’s were good people and I would be safe in their company.

I searched the room for my phone and my heavy coat. I left a note for my mom, who was out with Bill, her new boyfriend.

Nolan was waiting for me outside. We were driving separate and getting there a day early. Nolan’s dad had to finish something up for work, and Nash was bringing Amelie tomorrow.

I didn’t complain that we would be there alone for a day and night. I was actually thankful for the time alone. It had been crazy with the holidays: parties at his house, New Year’s at mine. Our parents finally met that night. My dad came with Julie, a longtime friend that turned romantic. Cara came alone, because she was in between boyfriends. It was the best New Year’s ever because I had Nolan with me.

“Got all of your stuff?” he asked taking my bag.

“Yes, that’s all of it. Did you expect more?” I tucked my long hair behind my ear.

“I didn’t know what to expect. I’m pleasantly surprised with how little you need,” he laughed. “You never know.”

“Nolan, I don’t own that many clothes. So it’s easier to pack.” He opened the door for me while kissing me gently.

“You won’t need much. Not tonight.” A nervous thrill coursed through me.

“What does that mean?” I got in, and he closed the door, smiling widely.

We drove up the snowy mountain, passing lakes and beautiful snow covered trees, but all I could think about was what Nolan had planned for me. The cabin was about an hour drive. We pulled in, and it was actually pretty quant for the Rylan’s. Normally everything they do was over the top, but not this cabin. This was perfect.

Nolan got out and opened my door. I looked at the area surrounding the cabin, and it occurred to me we are in the middle of nowhere.

“This is the perfect cabin,” I said as we walked up the steps.

“This isn’t the cabin we’ll stay at tomorrow. This is just for tonight,” he explained.

He unlocked the door. I still had questions, but they could wait. Once I got a look at the inside of the cabin, I was in awe. It was all wood, everything, like something out of a storybook. A fireplace sat with a fire already roaring to life.

“Who lit the fire?” I asked as he pulled our things inside.

“I did. I came up here before I picked you up to get things settled.”

I laughed. “You’re up to something, Nolan. Aren’t you?”

“Up to something? Me? Never,” he mused. “Now. Get comfortable. I have to go outside and pull in more firewood.”

I looked out the window and saw the stack of wood piled up against a tree. I nodded, and he left. My body was chilled to the bone. I pulled off my coat, hung it, and sat by the fire to let it warm me through and through.

It was so awesome in this tiny cabi
n. The kitchen was off to the right side and a little door sat next to it―the bathroom probably. I looked up and saw the bedroom loft that hung over the edge of the living room space. I got up and walked up the stairs that led to it. It held a large bed and dresser and a huge picture window. The view from the window was of more snow covered mountains. I could run away and live here with Nolan. I would be so happy just him and me holed up here in the wild. No phones, just us.

I didn’t hear him come up behind
me. He placed his hands around my waist and turned me to face him.

“I love it here,” I whispered as I looked into his big doe eyes. “I don’t ever want to leave.”

He kissed my neck and whispered, “Then let’s stay.” He lifted my shirt off and kissed along my collarbone and down my arms to my hand. He then swiftly lifted me and lay me down on the bed. He took off his shirt and exposed the beautiful body that I adored. He was so magnificent, and he was mine. I sat up to see him better and shook my head in awe.

“Are you not ready?” he asked worried.

“I’m ready, Nolan. I was only admiring the view.” In truth I was nervous, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.

He laughed and his face grew red. “The view from where I’m standing is the most perfect ever.”

He lay down with me and ran his hands across my belly. Running circles and giving me chills. He was gentle and caring with me. He wouldn’t ever hurt me. I realized I was ready.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I leaned into him and kissed him hard just like I had that night. The night when I told him how I felt about him, that I couldn’t be without him. I could almost feel the summer heat spread across me as he took my clothes off and threw them across the room.

It was just Nolan and me in that moment. No one else existed in the whole world. It was beautiful and magical and more than I even thought it would be. I only wondered why we waited so long.

*
**

It was the end of winter when I got the call from Lily’s mom that she was in the hospital. She was in a car accident. I didn’t ask what happened exactly, I just got into my car and drove. I called Nolan on the way and told him where I was headed. I was a crying mess.

“I’ll be there. Just drive slow and get off of the phone.”

I did as I was told and took the icy roads as slow as I could. It was the longest drive of my life. The whole time I was in the car I tried to imagine what I would hear once I got there. Lily had been hurt and wasn’t going to make it, was my biggest fear.

I ran into the waiting area and saw Lily’s mom pacing the floor. She looked up and smiled weakly.

Nolan sat in a chair to the side and gave me a little wave of support. I hugged Mrs. Chavez, and she fell to pieces in my arms. Finally, once she got control of her emotions, she explained what happened.

“She and Oliver were driving back from skiing in the mountains. I had just gotten off of the phone with her,” she said sadly. “I guess he was drinking … that’s what the police said … but not Lily, she was sober.” Like it even mattered. “She fractured her collarbone, but she’ll be okay. I’ve been so worried.”

I patted her on the shoulder, and a doctor came out holding a file looking around. “Mrs. Chavez?” he said.

“Sorry, Sadie, let me talk to the doctor.”

She left me and went to him. I took this opportunity to talk to Nolan, who was now getting a drink of water. He threw the cup into the trash and wrapped me in his arms.

“He was drunk,” I said in a daze. “How could he?”

I knew the answer; I didn’t need Nolan to say anything. Oliver was drunk because he felt like it. He felt like he could do anything he wanted, even if that meant risking Lily’s life.

“They arrested him and charged him with driving under the influence,” Nolan informed me. “He’ll pay for this, Sadie. I know he will. He could have killed her.” I nodded numbly and hoped he was right about Oliver paying for what he did wrong.

“Sadie,” Mrs. Chavez said, getting my attention. “You can go in and see her. They said she’s awake now.” I pulled away from Nolan and followed her down the hallway to where Lily was lying. She pulled back a curtain, and Lily lay there, staring at me with blank eyes.

“I’ll let you two have some privacy. I’ll just go get another coffee,” Mrs. Chavez said backing away.

Lily looked at me, and I noticed the bruises under her neck. They started at her there and spread out across her chest. She noticed me staring and pulled up her gown, wincing in pain.

“What are you doing here?” she asked incredulously. That was not at all how I thought this would go.

“I … I just wanted to see that you were all right.”

She laughed and looked away. “Well, I’m fine. I don’t need you rubbing it in my face, okay?”

Her anger surprised me.

“I would never do that, Lily. I told you I would be here when you needed me. And I’m here,” I said gently. I hoped my words could calm her down. Her eyes found mine, and she laughed mockingly.

“Well, I don’t need you, so you can go.”

I backed away out of the room. “I … I didn’t mean …”

She snapped, “No. Sadie. You never
mean
to do anything, do you? Just walk around with your perfect life and your perfect boyfriend, while I am with the guy who’s bad news? Is that it?”

“No. I never said that. Ever.”

She picked up a cup and threw it across the bed. It hit the curtain beside me. “Go!” I knew the action must have caused her immense pain, and I cringed just thinking about it.

I left so fast that I almost tripped and ran into a nurse carrying a tray. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

I burst through the doors and found Nolan talking to a man in scrubs. He looked up at me, and he knew that it went badly, I could see it in his face. I wanted to run into his arms, but Lily’s mom intercepted, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me into a hug.

“Thank you for coming, Sadie. I’ll keep you posted. I’m going to go see her.”

She didn’t know that her daughter hated me. She had no clue. She probably thought that things were fine between us. She didn’t see the panic in my face, nor could she see the hurt in my eyes.

She left me standing there feeling empty, but Nolan took over. He could see it. He could probably feel it in waves coming off of me.

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well,” he whispered. “I’m guessing she was angry that you were here.” He was guessing correctly.

“I just want to go home.” I was blank and empty.

I had tried to care for her, and she didn’t want it. I couldn’t believe that I thought she would come around. I actually thought she would be happy to see me. What a fool I was.

“Hey, Nolan, I’ve gotta get back. I’ll see you next week for your treatment,” the guy in scrubs said. He patted Nolan on his back and gave me a weak smile, with that he left the room. I watched him go with the word
treatment
floating around my head.
Nolan was having treatment?
No way. He would have told me. He wouldn’t have hidden anything from me.

“What did he mean?”

Nolan placed his hands on my face and cupped my cheeks. “Sadie, I didn’t want to scare you …”