Why We Love (33 page)

46. I remember trivial things _____ says and does.

47. I like to keep my schedule open so that if ______ is free, we can see each other.

48. ______’s eyes are quite common.

49. Falling in love was not really a choice; it just struck me.

50. Knowing that ______ is “in love” with me is more important to me than having sex with him/her.

51. My passion for ______ can overcome any obstacle.

52. I like to think about tiny moments that I have spent with______.

53. I go through periods of despair when I think ______ might not love me.

54. I spend hours imagining romantic episodes with ______.

55. Please briefly describe the relationship you currently have or used to have with this person: Has the relationship been painful or pleasant? What other details of your infatuation are important for us to understand?

Thank You: Now Please Answer a Few Questions about .Yourself

S14. What is your occupation?

student: __________

other:___________________

S15. If you are a student:

Which numbers best describe the total annual income of the household where you grew up?

Less than $15,000 1

$15,000 to $34,999 2

$35,000 to $54,999 3

$55,000 to $74899 4

$75,000 or more 5

S16. If you are not a student:

Which numbers best describe the total annual income earned by all the adults in your household?

Less than $15,000 1

$15,000 to $34,999 2

$35,000 to $54,999 3

$55,000 to $74,999 4

$75,000 or more 5

S17. Were you born in the USA?

Yes 1 No 2

S18. If you were not born in the USA, where were you born?

____________

S19. If you were not born in the USA, how long have you lived in America?

Months ___________ Years ______________

S20. Where were your parents born?

Mother _________ Father ______________

S21. Where were your grandparents born?

Mother’s mother _______ Father ___________

Father’s mother ________ Father ___________

S22. Religion:

Protestant 1

Catholic 2

Jewish 3

Muslim 4

Other __________

S23. Race/Ethnicity

White 1

Black 2

Oriental 3

Latino/Hispanic 4

Multiracial 5

Other __________

S24. Please circle the number that best reflects your sexual orientation.

Notes

The citation numbers in each chapter refer to specific sources, groups of sources, or textual notes that appear in the endnotes. To find the complete bibliographical reference for any source, turn to the bibliography.

1. “What Wild Ecstasy”: Being in Love

1
. Hamill 1996.

2
. Wolkstein 1991, p. 51.

3
. Wolkstein 1991, p. 84.

4
. Wolkstein 1991, p. 150.

5
. Yutang 1954, p. 73.

6
. Jankowiak and Fischer 1992.

7
. Neuroscientists make a technical distinction between “emotion” and “feeling.” They regard the emotions as specific neural systems that produce behaviors that assist survival. Feelings, they say, are the conscious perception of these emotions (Damasio 1999; LeDoux 1996, p. 125). But I will use these terms interchangeably.

8
. Tennov 1979; Hatfield and Sprecher 1986b; Harris 1995; H. E. Fisher 1998; Fehr 1988.

9
. Jankowiac and Fischer 1992; Goode 1959.

10
. Tennov 1979, p. 18.

11
. Hamill 1996, p. 51.

12
. Hopkins 1994, p. 41.

13
. Tesser and Reardon 1981; Murray and Holmes 1997; Viederman 1988.

14
. Hamill 1996, p. 34.

15
. Hopkins 1994, p. 26.

16
. Ibid., p. 40.

17
. Beach and Tesser 1988; Hatfield and Walster 1978.

18
. Hamill 1996, p. 25.

19
. Ibid., p. 61.

20
. Wolkstein 1991.

21
. Lahr and Tabori 1982, p. 110.

22
. Harris 1995, p. 113.

23
. Hopkins 1994, pp. i–ii.