Why We Love (43 page)
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Acknowledgments
Thank you, Ray Carroll, for your wisdom, humor, and genuine support. Thank you, Amanda Urban, my literary agent, for your dedication to this project. Thank you very much, Deb Brody and Jennifer Barth, my editors, for your astute guidance, Daniel Reid for your valuable assistance, John Sterling, and everyone else at Henry Holt for their enthusiasm for this book. I am particularly grateful to my collaborators Lucy Brown, Art Aron, Deb Mashek, Greg Strong, and Haifang Li for the enormous amount of time, intelligence, and dedication they gave to our fMRI brain scanning project, as well as the women and men who volunteered for our experiments. I thank Michelle Cristiani, Mariko Hasegawa, and Toshikazu Hasegawa for helping me collect questionnaire data on romantic love in the United States and Japan, and MacGregor Suzuki and Tony Oliva for their statistical analysis of this material. I thank Jennifer LeClair and Jonathan Stieglitz for assisting me with some of the research. I am indebted to many colleagues and friends for their good counsel or comments on sections of the manuscript, including Judy Andrews, Sydney Barrows, Laura Betzig, Michael Breton, Arnold Brown, Ray Carroll, Hillary DelPrete, Perry Faithorn, Fletcher Hodges, Brendan Perreault, Don Pfaff, Michelle Press, Carolyn Reynolds, Brenda Sexton, Greg Simpson, Edward E. Smith, Barb Smuts, Fred Suffet, Lionel Tiger, Andy Thomson, Janel Tortorice, Edie Weiner, and Jeff Zeig. I thank Jack Harris and the rest of my colleagues at Rutgers University for their support and I give a special thank-you to F.H. for his insight, wit, support, and companionship. All errors in this manuscript are mine.
Index
The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your eBook. Please use the search function on your eReading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.
abandonment
fear of
abandonment paranoia
abandonment rage
purpose of
Abelard and Eloise
ACTH (adrenocorticotropin hormone)
Adam and Eve
Adams, Abigail
adaptation, depression as
addiction
dopamine and
romantic love as
adrenaline
adultery
adversity
and passion
and romantic love
Advice on Love
(De Fournival)
Aeschylus
affection in animals
Africa
agape
age
in romantic love
and sex drive
Agememnon
(Aeschylus)
Ahearn, Laura
Ainsworth, Mary
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Allen, Woody
Amiel, Henri Frederic
Amini, Fari
amygdala
amphetamines
ancestors
depression in
forest-dwelling
pair-bonds
suicide
see also
forebears
anchoring gaze
anger
in loss of loved one
in rejection
animal attraction
chemistry of
brain circuitry for, evolved into human romantic love
animals
attachment behavior
are choosy
depression in
distress calls
dopamine in
love among
mating preferences
protest response
romantic passion
symmetry
anterior cingulate cortex
anterior cingulate gyrus
antidepressants
reassessing
Antony and Cleopatra
anxiety
dopamine in
apathy
apes
aphrodisiacs
Apuleius
arguments
Aristophanes
Aristotle
Arnold, Matthew
Aron, Arthur
Aronson, Elliot
arranged marriages
art/artists
attachment
in animals
biology of
brain chemicals in
brain network for
childhood
independence of
intense
lust and
mating drive
romantic love and
short-term
in types of love
urge to build
attachment styles
attraction
brain chemistry of
in forest-dwelling ancestors
and hate/rage
instant
for “special” mating partner
see also
animal attraction
Auden, W. H.
Australian Aborigines
Australopithecus afarensis
autonomy, individual
babies
big-headed
expense of rearing
baboons
background emotions
badgers
Bahadur, Vajra
“Bamboo Mat, The” (Yuan Chen)
Barash, David
Bartels, Andreas
bats
battering
Baudelaire, Charles Pierre
BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor)
Beach, Frank
Bear, The
(Chekhov)
beauty
appreciating
brain’s response to
in choosing spouse
beavers
being in love
universal to humanity
“Being in Love” questionnaire
beloved (the)
beta-endorphins
Betti, Ugo
Bible
biological urge
biology of romantic love
bipedalism
birds
brain chemicals
cheating in
possessiveness
serial monogamy
symmetry
testosterone and attachment
birth spacing
black rhino
Blake, William
bodily states
body types
bonobos
bottlenose dolphins
Bowen, Murray
Bowlby, John
brain
arousal mechanisms in
capacity for romantic love in
in decline of romantic love
evolution of
and feeling
gender differences in
hemispheres
mating drives in
panic system in
response to beautiful face
reward system of
brain activity
data in
men
brain chemicals
for animal attraction
in attachment
of attraction
and frustration attraction
precursor of romantic love
in romantic love
in violence
“working” hypothesis
brain circuitry/circuits
for animal attraction
to appreciate courtship displays
depression in
igniting
of people in love
for short-term attachment
brain circuitry for romantic love
and brain networks for hate/rage
triggering
unlinked from lust and long-term attachment
brain in love
pictures of
scanning
brain mechanisms
for curbing violence
in mate selection
brain networks
despair in
for hate/rage
for lust, romantic love, and attachment
in romantic love
brain regions
activity
expanded
lust/romantic love in
in rage
women’s activity in
brain scanning/scans
analyzing
hypotheses in
participants
procedure
rejected partners
brain systems
associated with drives
in reproduction
in romantic love
Broca’s area
Brodie, Fawn
“broken wing” strategy
Brown, Lucy L.
Browning, Elizabeth Barrett
Browning, Robert
Burbank, Luther
Burch, Rebecca
Burton, Richard
Buston, Peter
butterflies
Capellanus, Andreas (Andreas the Chaplain)
Carter, Sue
carvings
casual passion
cats
Catullus
caudate nucleus
cave paintings
Cavendish, William
cerebral cortex
Chad
chance
changing for beloved
Chartier, Alain
Chaucer, Geoffrey
Chekhov, Anton
chemistry
of attachment
of love
Chen, Yuan
chickens
childbirth
childhood
evolution of
children
fall in love
fighting for welfare of
sex play
chimpanzees
affection
brain size
choosiness
mating behavior
possessiveness
puberty in
choosiness
in animals
choosing a mate
fundamental mechanism of,
(see also
brain circuitry for romantic love)
men
women
Chrétien de Troyes
civit cats
Clerambault-Kandinsky syndrome (CKS)
clues, looking for
cockroach
combinatorial explosion
companionate love
companionate marriages
conscious awareness
consummate love
cooking
copulation
animals
with family members
forest-dwelling ancestors
corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH)
cortisol
courting
courting talk
courtly love
courtship
in animals
evidence of
human ancestors
practicing
courtship blunting
courtship displays
cranial capacity
craving
in animals
dopamine and
for sex
“creaky bridge” experiment
crimes of passion
Cristiani, Michelle
Cro-Magnon people
cuckoldry
cultural artifacts
culture
cummings, e. e.
Damasio, Antonio
danger
Daniel, Arnaut
Daniel, Samuel
Dante
Darwin, Charles
dating time
decision/commitment
de Borneil, Giraut
De Flournival, Richard
delayed maturation
dependency
depression
as adaptation
in animals
evolution of
in rejection
symptoms
talking therapy for
Descent of Man, The
(Darwin)
desire(s)
hormone of
see also
sexual desire
despair
evolutionary value of
evolution of value of
feelings of
in rejection
despair response
Dewey, John
Dickens, Charles
Dickinson, Emily
differentiation
distraction talk
distress calls
divorce
evolution of
right to
DNA
babies carrying
passing on
protecting
dogs
possessiveness
protest response
separation
Donne, John
dopamine
in animal attraction
brain regions
and despair
and drives
and intense motivation
novelty and
in rejection
in romantic love
and sexual arousal
stress and
and vasopressin and oxytocin
dopamine enhancers
Drayton, Michael
drive to love
controlling
drives
to copulate
defined
chemistry of
to eat and sleep
to fall in love
to win back beloved
Dryden, John
Dutton, Donald
East Africa
eating problems
ecstasy
Einstein, Albert
ejaculation
elation
Elephant Memories
(Moss)
elephants
Ellis, Bruce
Emlen, Stephen
emotion systems
emotional arousal
emotional blunting
emotional dependence
emotional intelligence
emotional union, yearning for
emotions
brain regions associated with
in love
ordered in brain
and romantic love
empathy
empty love
endorphins
energy
in animals
excessive
intense
Epstein, Robert
eros
erotomania
Eschenbach, Wolfram von
estrodiol
estrogen(s)
decline in
and language
estrogen replacement therapy
estrus
euphoria
Euripides
Evans, Dylan
evolution
of abandonment rage
of attachment system
of biological machinery in men
of brain chemistry for animal attraction
of childhood
in decline of romantic love
of divorce
of human brain
of human romantic love
of human talents
of humanity’s variety
of language
of lust
mate guarding in
in mating effort
of mind
of monogamy
in preference for partner like oneself
of romantic love
of sexual exclusivity
of traits to attract mates
in waist-to-hip ratio
exercise
Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, The
(Darwin)
fall in love
ability to
making yourself
men
with one person rather than another
with someone else
women
familiarity
fantasizing
fatal reflex
father (concept)
fathers
fatuous love
favoritism
fear
Fearing, Kenneth
